"Oh really?" "Are you sure?" "I didn't know that" ... JHC

[IceQube]

"Oh really" --> my reaction: if you don't trust me, then don't ask me again.

"Are you sure" --> yes, I'm fucking positive, and my mind hasn't changed in the span of 1.2 seconds.

"I didn't know that" --> well, no shit, you asked to clarify, didn't you?

I despise the above phrases. What about you?

[Alice The Goon]

"How do you know?"

Um, I read a lot, I watch tv, I live in the world... I just fucking do, okay?!

[Taomist]

It took a while for MrTao to realize that when I replied to something with 'Really?' <usually followed by a 'cool' or a 'huh' or whatever> that I wasn't actually calling bullshit on something. It's a phrase in common usage as a simple interjection, a generic response, generally indicating that it's a new or surprising bit of info. It's a good thing he got used to it, because I couldn't stop saying it if I tried.

[dnooman]

That reminds me of a habit of mine that I don't really like.

They mention something, and I say "Like that part in The Usual Suspects?"

Them: I haven't seen that.

Me: You haven't seen that?

Them: That's exactly what I just said. Thanks for being a dick about it.

Me: I apparently express incredulity very poorly. There's even an XKCD about sharing information that isn't new to you but is new to like 10,000... Where are you going?

[billfish678]

I gotta admit I do get a bit peeved when I state something that I am pretty sure I know to somebody who probably doesn't have a fucking clue about said thing but still thinks I am pulling said info out of my ass.

One episode I remember from a few years back. One of those picnic in the park things where people bring a chair and some food/drinks and local bands play kinda of things.

We ran across some friends of friends so we sat together. As it got dark and the sky was clear I pointed out that hey there is mercury, venus, the moon, mars, jupiter and saturn. Some lady gave me crap about it. How DO you know that? I know my astronomy. But HOW do you know?! I know the sky. But how CAN you tell one bright light from the others? Uhhh, I can. But HOWWWWW? I don't believe you!

Fuck you bitch.

[Autolycus]

Doper takes social filler niceties too literally. News at eleven.

[dnooman]

Originally Posted by billfish678

As it got dark and the sky was clear I pointed out that hey there is mercury, venus, the moon, mars, jupiter and saturn. Some lady gave me crap about it.

I may be wrong, but seeing all of those bodies at once even on a clear night seems like BS to me.

[guizot]

Originally Posted by Autolycus

Doper takes social filler niceties too literally. News at eleven.

Yeah--and anybody who thinks that his own discourse is 100% propositional with absolutely no functional or affective dimension is deluding himself. Language is much more complicated than that.

[billfish678]

Originally Posted by dnooman

I may be wrong, but seeing all of those bodies at once even on a clear night seems like BS to me.

And you'd be wrong. Though Mercury was pushing it a bit observational wise.

The kicker was I could and did tell her WHY I knew why every point of light was this planet or that planet and not random star X . And it was like the more I explained why this was this and that was that the LESS she believed me. And this was from a person that may or may not have known what a star actually was.

[Rick]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

"How do you know?"

Um, I read a lot, I watch tv, I live in the world... I just fucking do, okay?!

When I was in technical training the question "How do you know that?" was a very common question and like posting Cite, here on this board.
It was a request for more info.

[billfish678]

Ahhh... here we go... 2004 was the year apparently.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/n...pace-science/#

IIRC correctly the big deal in 2004 (or whatever year) and part of the reason I was extra aware of what was were was because not only could you see all those planets they were actually in the same order in the sky as they are in solar system.

[dnooman]

Originally Posted by billfish678

Ahhh... here we go... 2004 was the year apparently.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/n...pace-science/#

IIRC correctly the big deal in 2004 (or whatever year) and part of the reason I was extra aware of what was were was because not only could you see all those planets they were actually in the same order in the sky as they are in solar system.

Can you give an approximation of where you're seeing this? Geographically. We that live in light polluted areas probably see 1/50 of the stars that you do. I've seen stars from high in the Sierras before, and there seems to be places where you see everything, and places where you don't see much.

I'm almost tempted to start another thread about this very phenomenon.

[dnooman]

Originally Posted by billfish678

Ahhh... here we go... 2004 was the year apparently.

http://news.nationalgeographic.com/n...pace-science/#

IIRC correctly the big deal in 2004 (or whatever year) and part of the reason I was extra aware of what was were was because not only could you see all those planets they were actually in the same order in the sky as they are in solar system.

And on top of this, some idiot questions which twinkling light is which. I don't want to live on this planet anymore.

[Ferret Herder]

Originally Posted by dnooman

Can you give an approximation of where you're seeing this? Geographically. We that live in light polluted areas probably see 1/50 of the stars that you do. I've seen stars from high in the Sierras before, and there seems to be places where you see everything, and places where you don't see much.

I'm almost tempted to start another thread about this very phenomenon.

You can see some planets better than most stars, even in light-polluted areas. In the suburbs of Chicago I can frequently see Venus, and just a couple weeks ago or so, I saw, IIRC, Jupiter while walking to the train station in the morning. (I cheated and pulled out the Star Walk app on my iPhone to confirm which planet I was seeing, but I knew it was a planet.)

[Andy L]

Originally Posted by Ferret Herder

You can see some planets better than most stars, even in light-polluted areas.

Yep - per this list http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Magnitude_(astronomy), all the planets but Saturn can be brighter in the sky than the brightest (non-Sun) star (Sirius).

[jali]

"What are you doing here" pisses me off beyond belief.

I'm doing whatever is done here. Just like you and all the others here.

[Enkel]

I love when people used to call me on my land-phone-line and ask "Are you at home?" Since then, I've had the number ported to a cell phone, so now it's a legit question.

I like to piss people off when they go into a total rant (common occurrence in this area). Their goal is to incite a response and start a fight. I just let them blow on (and on, and on) with no response until they finally talk themselves out. Then I just say "Well, okay then." and go about some non-related business.

[Nawth Chucka]

"Are you sure?" cost me speaking by phone (and in person if it can be avoided) to one of my in-laws. W/o fail, every answer I gave her was met by, "Are you sure? Because I think_____ is really what the right/desirable/best answer is." First I learned she didn't ask me something she didn't already have her answer to and second I learned she'd keep questioning me until I gave her the answer she wanted. She's as controlling in person, I loathe sharing a hemisphere w/ her.

[Ludovic]

Originally Posted by Alice The Goon

"How do you know?"

I can tell by some of the pixels and from having seen quite a few shops in my time.

[JRDelirious]

Well, I'd rather have a "Really/that's interesting" than an indistinct grunt and silence. It's just an acknowledgement , most of the time. And I cannot fault even an earnest "really" or "are you sure", the first or second time if I have not previously established what's my cred on the subject at hand.


"I didn't know that" I choose to take as a sign we're making progress, the equivalent of "Ignorance fought".

Originally Posted by billfish678

The kicker was I could and did tell her WHY I knew why every point of light was this planet or that planet and not random star X . And it was like the more I explained why this was this and that was that the LESS she believed me. And this was from a person that may or may not have known what a star actually was.

She did not see you looking it up. Being ignorant of astronomy, she is unaware that that not only can one accurately predict the apparent positions of celestial bodies years in advance, but that you need not be Carl Sagan to have learned to identify a particular syzygy. And what reason has she to take our word that it's so?

I do sometimes start to get a bit short with others when I happen to know a hard fact and they insist in making it a debate -- some time ago I realized it's more like they seem puzzled that I sound so sure and certain I'm right.

[corkboard]

Originally Posted by IceQube

"Oh really" --> my reaction: if you don't trust me, then don't ask me again.

"Are you sure" --> yes, I'm fucking positive, and my mind hasn't changed in the span of 1.2 seconds.

"I didn't know that" --> well, no shit, you asked to clarify, didn't you?

I despise the above phrases. What about you?

Don't be so sensitive. Some people are full of shit and need to be called on it, and in such a case, often cave at the slightest challenge. They're just conversational fillers.

[Jman]

Wow...hypersensitivity at its best. Does this cause problems for you in your daily life? I'm not saying that to be a jerk, I'm honestly wondering how you maintain relationships with people when innocuous statements like "Really?" cause such ire. These are simple, non-confrontational statements made by 90% of the English speaking world on a daily basis.

People aren't calling you a liar or stupid or something. What do you expect people to say when you tell them something they didn't know already? "Thank you for that information...I'll file it in my databank?"

Also, the 'how do you know' thing, is of course entirely dependent on tone of voice. If the person is a jerk about it, yeah, it's rude. If they are seriously just trying to learn the background information that led you to your conclusion, so they can be more informed about the subject at hand...I think it's a perfectly natural, non-offensive reaction.

[PoorYorick]

It took more than a handful of years for me to realize that when my wife asked me "Why?", nine out of ten times she meant "Why?", and not "Why did you do that, dumbass?"

[tdn]

Originally Posted by Ferret Herder

You can see some planets better than most stars, even in light-polluted areas. In the suburbs of Chicago I can frequently see Venus, and just a couple weeks ago or so, I saw, IIRC, Jupiter while walking to the train station in the morning.

Venus is easy to see in a big city, even when it's still light out. (But nearing dusk.) Even Jupiter, to a lesser extent. And once you've seen the 4 brightest planets, it's pretty easy to distinguish them.

[Ibanez]

The "are you sure?" bugs me more than any other.

Want something to drink ?

No thanks.

Are you sure ?

No, I'm not ... Why don't you ask me one more time.

[Sigmagirl]

I subscribe to this. Especially when I get it both ways. First it's "Oh, you're so smart! You know so much! You should go on Jeopardy!" and ten seconds later, it's "OMG how did you know that! I can't believe you know that!" Well, I know it because I'm smart, remember? Like you just told me ten seconds ago?

[elbows]

I'm with Jman on this.

Anytime you're reading so much into a simple conversational response, something's not right. And I'd wager it's pure projection, of your own insecurities. Your ire is out of all proportion to the 'offense'. It feels like that should be self evident. Perhaps the universe is showing you something you should examine more closely.

"Really?", "How do you know that?", and, "Are you sure?", are not personal attacks, in any way, shape or form. Maybe you should be examining why they feel so, to you?

[Blaster Master]

So when is it acceptable to use those phrases according to the OP? If someone says "I just saw a UFO" and gets the response "Are you sure?" is that unacceptable? The acceptable or unacceptable nature of of these phrases, or pretty much any other largely neutral phrases, depends entirely on the context.

I'm particularly a fan of "Oh really?" When I use it, it's not a matter of questioning whether the person I'm saying it to is telling the truth, it's more an expression that my interest has been piqued. For instance, imagine this exchange. "I just heard the funniest joke!" "Oh really?" In that exchange, it doesn't mean "I think you're full of crap" it means "I'm interested, tell it to me."

Either way, like others said, generally hating those phrases is, to me, a sign of over-sensitivity on the part of the OP. Just pay attention to the context and realize the person is probably just saying something to spur the conversation on. Like saying "How do you know that?" doesn't mean "Prove it!" it means "Please explain" in more cases than not, in my experience.

[IceQube]

Originally Posted by elbows

Anytime you're reading so much into a simple conversational response, something's not right.

Anytime you're reading so much into a simple forum post, something's not right. And I'd wager it's pure projection, of your own insecurities.

I can understand the use of social filler on an occasional basis. But when you're using it over, and over, and over, and I'm expressing my exasperation by giving you terse replies, it's time to drop it. It's doesn't help when I'm already finding your complete lack of intelligence annoying. Asking me "oh really" after each and every single one of my fucking edifying statements doesn't help.

This thread is a rant against one person's use of the aforementioned social fillers rather than a railing against the general use of social fillers.

[Gagundathar]

"How do you know?"
Now, if you really think about it, that is a very complex question.

And, I have pointed that out to several of my friends when they posit that query.

Yes... I have fewer friends, now. But danggit, the ones that are left are, um..., seasoned.
Yes, that's it.
Seasoned.

[Acsenray]

Originally Posted by Autolycus

Doper takes social filler niceties too literally. News at eleven.

Ya think?

Originally Posted by Ibanez

The "are you sure?" bugs me more than any other.

Want something to drink ?

No thanks.

Are you sure ?

No, I'm not ... Why don't you ask me one more time.

You do realize that there are social groups in which it is the norm to refuse on first offer because it's considered rude to say "yes" the first time. In India, for example, any such offer must be refused twice. If you then don't make the third offer to make sure, you're being rude.

In Iran, a host is never supposed to stop offering, for the length of your visit. And then if you say "yes," they are supposed to offer you more.

[IceQube]

Originally Posted by Gagundathar

"How do you know?"
Now, if you really think about it, that is a very complex question.

Epistemological slant .

[Doctor Why]

Originally Posted by IceQube

This thread is a rant against one person's use of the aforementioned social fillers rather than a railing against the general use of social fillers.

Are you sure? The op doesn't really read that way.

[IceQube]

Originally Posted by Doctor Why

Are you sure? The op doesn't really read that way.

The OP is rather vague. It doesn't specify whether I was condemning the general use of fillers or one person's use.

[elbows]

when you're using it over, and over, and over, and I'm expressing my exasperation by giving you terse replies, it's time to drop it. It's doesn't help when I'm already finding your complete lack of intelligence annoying. Asking me "oh really" after each and every single one of my fucking edifying statements doesn't help.

Ok then.

As long as you don't have any, say, anger issues, it's clearly not you, and must be everyone else!

And yeah, the Op didn't read like it was directed at a sole individual. Don't you hate it when people don't make themselves clear, say what they really mean?

Are you sure?

Really?

[Annie-Xmas]

Where's the Big Boss?

I don't know.

Well, where is she?

AAARRRRGGGG!

[mage-girl]

I have a friend I've known since college who doesn't understand why I laugh when he says some kind of surprising things.

I laugh, in recognition that they are absurd or odd. Not, as I think he thinks, because I don't believe him.

He gets a little worked-up over it too... Very annoying!

[bengangmo]

What bugs me is

ME: I THINK that.......
Wifey: Are you sure?
ME: No I'm not, that's why I said "I think" - do you understand the words that I am saying.
Alternative: Yes, I'm sure I think that

[Malacandra]

Anyone know how the planets thread got mixed up with this one?

[grude]

I do something similar that drives my wife insane.

Her:So then my friend said her boyfriend permanently cured his high blood pressure by eating nothing but squid for a day.

Me:I've never heard of that, it doesn't sound like it could actually work.

Her:Are you calling her a liar? Or are you calling me a liar?

Me:I'm not calling either of you liars I'm doubting the facts presented.

It drives her nuts!

[Deegeea]

"Oh really" can be changed in meaning a lot by how the intonation is done. It can be used to mean "you must be joking" or "that's amazing" or "that's so typical of him" or lots of other options. It bugs me when a specific person I often talk to, says the "oh really" in the tone that usually means "I don't believe you" but in actuality she means "I'm listening to you but I don't care much" =D

That's the kind of thing you mean, right?

[Vinyl Turnip]

Originally Posted by Deegeea

It bugs me when a specific person I often talk to, says the "oh really" in the tone that usually means "I don't believe you" but in actuality she means "I'm listening to you but I don't care much"

For me, it often means "I'm not listening but I don't want you to know that."

[digs]

Originally Posted by Vinyl Turnip

For me, it often means "I'm not listening but I don't want you to know that."

oh, really...

[tdn]

I used to have a friend who responded to my "Really?" (meaning "that's surprising" or "tell me more") with a snarky "No, I'm lying." That got really old really fast.

[swampspruce]

Originally Posted by elbows

Ok then.

As long as you don't have any, say, anger issues, it's clearly not you, and must be everyone else!

And yeah, the Op didn't read like it was directed at a sole individual. Don't you hate it when people don't make themselves clear, say what they really mean?

Are you sure?

Really?

I have to side with elbows on this. When someone is consistantly questioning every statement you make, it gets tedious rather quickly. If you ask me a question, I respond, and get a follow up of "How do you know?" I have to ask why you asked the question in the first place.
I've noticed this tends to be a female trait. If a guy asks me "Hey, what star is that in the sky?" and I say "Oh, that's Betelguese." "Cool." That's the end of it.
Same convo with a woman...."What star is that?" "That's Betelgeuse." "Oh, how do you know?" "Because I went to University and spent months in astronomy class learning the relative positions and names of the more popular stars in the major constellations so I could pass the course. Which, surprisingly, I did."
"Really?"
"Nope, just fucking with you, where'd I leave my beer, I seem to really need it at the moment."

[BigT]

Originally Posted by elbows

Ok then.

As long as you don't have any, say, anger issues, it's clearly not you, and must be everyone else!

And yeah, the Op didn't read like it was directed at a sole individual. Don't you hate it when people don't make themselves clear, say what they really mean?

Are you sure?

Really?

If you don't like it when people attack you, then don't attack them. That's a pretty basic social interaction skill, too.

Oh, and don't think the OP is so stupid they don't see that you intentionally used the two phrases they said annoy them in order to piss them off.

[dnooman]

Originally Posted by BigT

If you don't like it when people attack you, then don't attack them. That's a pretty basic social interaction skill, too.

Oh, and don't think the OP is so stupid they don't see that you intentionally used the two phrases they said annoy them in order to piss them off.

Shit just got serious.