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  #1  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:10 AM
dougie_monty dougie_monty is offline
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Funniest Lines Spoken by a TV Character

There must be scores of these....
Cheers
(Lilith is lamenting the death of her white lab rat. Frasier is horrified to find it in her purse in the bar.)
Frasier: Why would someone put a rat in her purse?
Carla: A snack?
******
Mary Tyler Moore
Ted Baxter: If Cronkite can do it, Baxter can do it!
Murray: And if Baxter can do it, a duck can do it!
******
Dragnet
(An officer named Phil Waverly has been accused of taking a bribe from a bookie. Friday and Gannon question the bookie, Ted Clover, who shows them a bull's ear a matador gave him.)
Clover: About getting my buddy kicked off the force--maybe I did ol' Phil a favor!
Friday: How do you figure?
Clover: Why would anyone want to be a cop?
Friday: Oh, I don't know...why would anyone want a dead bull's ear?
******
M*A*S*H
(Margaret wants to transfer a popular nurse out of the 4077th. Hawkeye and Trapper cajole Henry to use his authority to forestall Margaret.)
Trapper: ...or we'll tell everybody that your brother's in jail!
Henry: My brother is a warden!
Hawkeye: We won't say that part!
******
Beverly Hillbillies
Jethro: He's so dumb he thinks Santa Monica is the guy who comes down the chimney on Christmas Eve!
******
Emergency!
Johnny: Listen, I'm skinny, but I'm tough!
Roy: So is Chet Kelly's fried chicken!
  #2  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:33 AM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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On Cheers:

Sam: How's it going, Norm?
Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, Sam, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.

On Futurama:

Bender: I feel so sad, I wish everyone else was dead!

The Drew Carey Show:

Oh, so you hate your job, do you? Why didn't you say so? There's a support group for that. It's called Everybody and they meet at the bar!
  #3  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:45 AM
Lorne Armstrong Lorne Armstrong is offline
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Archie Bunker:

"Watch it with the fruit! Ya appled all over my shirt!"

"Now, ya got any fried chicken in the house 'cause they like to snack on that."

"You mean my eyes are gonna chink-up on me?"

"Hey there, Jefferson. That ain't very nice, talking to your little mammie like that."

"You dumb, meat-headed, unemployed, oversexed, pinko, professor-of-Polack, you!"

Last edited by Lorne Armstrong; 02-06-2017 at 02:45 AM.
  #4  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:49 AM
Snowboarder Bo Snowboarder Bo is offline
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Reverend Jim Ignatowski: "Whaaaaaaaaaaat.... doooooooooooes..... aaaaaa...... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllooooooooow liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean?"

Arthur Carlson: "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

Last edited by Snowboarder Bo; 02-06-2017 at 02:50 AM.
  #5  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:54 AM
erysichthon erysichthon is offline
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Homer Simpson [upon being informed that there's a waiting period for gun purchases]: "Five days? But I'm mad now!"
  #6  
Old 02-06-2017, 02:59 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
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Police Squad!
Dutch Gunderson: Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank: I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.
******
Murder Most Horrid
(Tina is a naive woman trying to get past a security guard to gain access to an office building. Carmela is a worldly assassin coaching her over a hidden earpiece. Tina has accidentally offered the guard a blow job and it falls to Carmela to explain what's she's gotten herself into.)
Carmela: Stimulation of the, eh...
Tina: Of the whatsit.
Carmela: By the mouth.
Tina: God! You'd never think he'd be able to reach!
  #7  
Old 02-06-2017, 03:07 AM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
On Cheers:

Sam: How's it going, Norm?
Norm: It's a dog eat dog world, Sam, and I'm wearing Milk Bone underwear.
That's one of my very favorites. From possibly the same episode:

Norm (sees his boss enter the bar): It's my boss! Quick, Cliff, what does my breath smell like?
Cliff (sniffing Norm's breath): Milwaukee.
  #8  
Old 02-06-2017, 04:16 AM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: "Whaaaaaaaaaaat.... doooooooooooes..... aaaaaa...... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllooooooooow liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean?"
Rev. Jim again: "OOOWWWWW!"

(Five minutes earlier, Louie had grabbed his ear with a pair of pliers and threatened to commit some mayhem if the crew kept making wisecracks about him. Jim just kept reading his comic book while his ear was being held hostage.)
  #9  
Old 02-06-2017, 04:34 AM
chappachula chappachula is offline
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Archie Bunker in All in the Family:

(Archie wants some legal advice, and tells Edith to look up the name of that law firm they used when they bought their house)--"you know, them 3 Jewish guys".

Gloria overhears it and says sarcastically: "how would I find that--maybe I should look in the yellow pages under 'Jewish Lawyers' ? "

And Archie replies: "No...that would take too long."

Last edited by chappachula; 02-06-2017 at 04:34 AM.
  #10  
Old 02-06-2017, 05:26 AM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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From the Addams Family:

Lurch: Father was right.
Gomez: Right about what, Lurch?
Lurch: My being a butler.
Gomez: Why, what did he want you to be?
Lurch: A jockey.

The humor in this line came from Lurch's height. Ted Cassidy, the actor who played Lurch, stood 6'9" tall.
  #11  
Old 02-06-2017, 05:42 AM
The Pork-Chop Express The Pork-Chop Express is offline
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Lenny (The Simpsons): "Ow! My eye! I'm not supposed to get pudding in it!"
  #12  
Old 02-06-2017, 05:46 AM
Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mr. Mustard is offline
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This one almost slipped by me:

(From Modern Family)

Cam is arranging an elaborate Wizard of Oz themed party for Mitch (or vice versa). The flying monkeys arrive...

Monkey 1: "Hey"
Cam: "Hey"
Monkey 2: "We're the monkeys"


mmm
  #13  
Old 02-06-2017, 08:35 AM
mbh mbh is offline
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MASH:
{Radar is presenting Col. Blake with a large sheaf of paperwork, and asking him to sign here, initial there, etc.}
Blake: Do you understand any of this?
Radar: I try not to, sir. It slows things down.

WKRP in Cincinnati:
As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly.


All in the Family:
{Archie Bunker and Gloria are arguing about gun control. Gloria cites a statistic about how many people are killed by guns.}
Archie: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?


Archie: If God had meant for white people to dance with colored people---
Meathead: He would have given us rhythm, too.
  #14  
Old 02-06-2017, 08:47 AM
MrAtoz MrAtoz is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbh View Post
MASH:
{Radar is presenting Col. Blake with a large sheaf of paperwork, and asking him to sign here, initial there, etc.}
Blake: Do you understand any of this?
Radar: I try not to, sir. It slows things down.
Radar: Initial here, sir.
Henry: Initial, Radar?
Radar: Yes, sir. Your initials indicate that rather than signing, you initialed.

Henry: That's a decision that I will make when I decide, and make my decision, and that will decide it.
  #15  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:01 AM
Crotalus Crotalus is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by mbh View Post
[I]All in the Family:
{Archie Bunker and Gloria are arguing about gun control. Gloria cites a statistic about how many people are killed by guns.}
Archie: Would it make you feel any better, little girl, if they was pushed out of windows?
I really did not expect to find that the very quote I came in to post had already been posted, but there it is. My recollection of it, which may be wrong, is that Gloria cited a statistic about how many children had been killed by guns, and Archie said "if they was "t'rown" out of windas".
  #16  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:06 AM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
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From Cheers:

Diane: Dr., there's still one thing you haven't considered...
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: Ok; Sam, Diane, you two are perfect together. I'm sorry I made a mistake before but you are the most perfectly matched couple ever. But, why am I telling this to you? Let's share it with the rest of the world.
[opens window]
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: Hear this, world. The rest of you can stop getting married. It's been done to perfection. Envy them, sofa, envy them, chair, for you shall never be as cozy as they for their union shall be an epoch-shattering success and I STAKE MY LIFE ON IT. Wait a moment, let me get this on record
[talks into his tape recorder]
Dr. Simon Finch-Royce: "I, Dr. Simon Finch-Royce, being of sound mind and body declare that Sam and Diane shall be happy together throughout all eternity and if I am wrong I promise I will take my own life in the most disgusting manner possible." Here, take the tape, NO, take the whole machine. It's my wedding gift to you. The most perfect couple since the DAWN of TIME.
Diane: [turns to Sam] See?

Of course, you had to see John Cleese's rant, and especially, Shelly Long's delivery of the final line.
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Purveyor of fine science fiction since 1982.
  #17  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:07 AM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mean Mr. Mustard View Post
Monkey 1: "Hey"
Cam: "Hey"
Monkey 2: "We're the monkeys"
Reminds me of another of that style of joke, from The Simpsons:

Homer, driving, runs into a deer statue with his car.
Homer: D'oh!
Lisa: A deer!
Marge: A female deer!
  #18  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:17 AM
burpo the wonder mutt burpo the wonder mutt is offline
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Hawkeye: Frank, the r-e-d speaks English better than y-o-u.
  #19  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:18 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Raj: But excuse me, I have something to say. None of you may realize it, but I was very much looking forward to this weekend. It was gonna be like the old days -- the four of us hanging out, playing video games, before you guys all got girlfriends. Do you have any idea what it's like to be the only one without a girlfriend? Even if I get one someday, I'll still be the guy who got a girl after Sheldon Cooper!

Kumar's delivery of that line was perfection!
  #20  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:19 AM
Algernon Algernon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Snowboarder Bo View Post
Reverend Jim Ignatowski: "Whaaaaaaaaaaat.... doooooooooooes..... aaaaaa...... yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeellllllllllllooooooooow liiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeean?"

Arthur Carlson: "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."
Yep. My two favorite television quotes from my (roughly) six decades of watching television!
  #21  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:29 AM
The Stainless Steel Rat The Stainless Steel Rat is offline
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"I didn't even know you were Jewish" Spoken by Johnny Carson after a stunt by the actor/singer Ed Ames went..south. Still one of the funniest moments on TV.


SPOILER:
Ames, who was starring on a TV version of Daniel Boone, was showing Johnny how to throw a tomahawk at a figure drawn on a piece of wood. The tomahawk hit the drawing right in the crotch, which was funny enough, but the house went nuts when Carson made the above remark. And remember, this was live TV; no time to set up or write the line.
  #22  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:38 AM
Shoeless Shoeless is offline
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From NewsRadio, in the episode that takes place in space. They spend much of the episode attaching the word "space" to ordinary objects - space pliers, space porn, etc.

Then there comes a scene where Dave and Lisa are arguing about moving in together.

Lisa: "I don't want to move into your apartment. Besides, it's always so chilly there."

Dave: "Then I'll get a space heater."
  #23  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:49 AM
Son of a Rich Son of a Rich is offline
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Archie: "That's something the hebes do. They change their last names but keep their first names so that they'll still recognize each other."

Mike: "Whaddya mean, Arch?"

Archie: "Well, you take a guy like Isaac Schwartz. He changes 'Schwartz' to 'Smith' but he leaves Isaac. So he's Isaac Smith. Jacob Cohen, he becomes Jacob Kane. See?"

Mike (sarcastically): "Yeah, I see what you mean, Arch. Like Abraham . . . Lincoln."

Pause.

Edith: "I didn't know Lincoln was Jewish."
  #24  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:57 AM
cmkeller cmkeller is offline
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My favorite ever, from Night Court:

(setup: an important Japanese businessman died in the courtroom. Bull is given the task of discreetly bringing the body to the morgue. He puts it in a motorized wheelchair, and while he briefly turns away, a kid messes with the controls, sending it down the hall and out of Bull's view)

Harry: What do you mean, you lost the body???
Bull: He outsmarted me, sir.
Harry: Outsmarted you? Bull, a corpse is a corpse!
Dan: Of course, of course.
  #25  
Old 02-06-2017, 09:59 AM
jz78817 jz78817 is offline
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Cheers:

Norm: "Afternoon everybody."
Crowd: "NORM!!"
Woody: "What'cha up to, Mr. Peterson?"
Norm: "My ideal weight, if I was 11 feet tall."

-----------------------------

Police Squad:

Drebin: "Is there a ransom note?"
Hocken: "Yes; the butler found it. It was tied to this window and thrown into the rock garden. I sent the note to the lab; they're demanding one million dollars."
Drebin: "Why would the lab demand a million dollars?"
  #26  
Old 02-06-2017, 10:11 AM
Ukulele Ike Ukulele Ike is offline
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You guys are all too NORMAL. I propose this exchange, from the 2001 live-action series, THE TICK.

The scene is the accounting department of Worldwide Fishladder & Sons. CEO Christopher Lloyd, in full "Christopher Lloyd Mode," confronts employee Arthur, an aspiring superhero wearing a homemade flying suit at his desk.

Mr. Fishladder: Christ in heaven, look at yourself! You're built like a sensible shoe! You shouldn't be jumping around in a body-sock fighting crime!

Arthur: Well, I haven't actually fought any crime yet.

Mr. Fishladder: Good! Keep it that way. CRIME FIGHTS BACK! Remember the lesson of Metcalf!

Arthur: Metcalf?

Mr. Fishladder: METCALF! Head of Shipping and Receiving, third floor! Metcalf! He lost all his game pieces just like you, cashed in his 401K and BOUGHT A JETPACK! Now the poor bastard needs a machine...TO POOP!
  #27  
Old 02-06-2017, 10:23 AM
silenus silenus is offline
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Taxi:



[while filling out an application]

Bobby Wheeler: Mental illness or narcotic addiction?

"Reverend Jim" Ignatowski: Now that's a tough choice...
  #28  
Old 02-06-2017, 10:31 AM
Prof. Pepperwinkle Prof. Pepperwinkle is offline
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Get Smart: (the first time they used this line)

Max: Missed it by that much.
  #29  
Old 02-06-2017, 10:36 AM
E-DUB E-DUB is offline
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Cheers:

Somebody to Norm: "How's life treating you?"
Norm: "Like I kicked its dog."

Barney Miller:

Harris: "I'll go home, but I ain't never gonna feel no better."
  #30  
Old 02-06-2017, 11:08 AM
The Other Waldo Pepper The Other Waldo Pepper is offline
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"A man may fight for many things: his country, his principles, his friends; the glistening tear on the cheek of a golden child. But personally, I'd mud-wrestle my own mother for a ton of cash, an amusing clock, and a sack of French porn."

- Blackadder
  #31  
Old 02-06-2017, 11:17 AM
SykoSkotty SykoSkotty is offline
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Too many to name, but some of my faves from Archer:

*Archer wakes up with a flight attendant*
"You want breakfast? Try the diner.....you're obviously into Greek."

Cyril: Will I get to learn Karate?
Archer: Karate? The "Dane Cook" of martial arts? No!

"It would be rude not to eat her pie, which I assume is not only hot, but also moist....although hopefully not flaky."

"Thank you, uh, sorry what was your name again?

"Rodney."

"Thank you....asshole."

Last edited by SykoSkotty; 02-06-2017 at 11:18 AM. Reason: spell check!
  #32  
Old 02-06-2017, 11:44 AM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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So many great lines!

From Soap:

Jodie: Plato was gay.
Jessica (astonished): Mickey Mouse's dog was gay??
Jodie: Goofy was his lover.

Another one from Cheers. Frasier is planning to buy a piece of antique furniture for Lillith as a gift.

Frasier: Nothing says "I love you" like old wood.
Woody (after a pause): How do I say it, Dr. Crane?

From the M*A*S*H episode "Tuttle", in which Hawkeye and Trapper John had made up a fictitious doctor named Tuttle, and then killed him off:

Hawkeye: We can all be comforted by the thought that he's not really gone, there's a little Tuttle left in all of us, in fact you might say that all of us together made up Tuttle.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 02-06-2017 at 11:47 AM.
  #33  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:05 PM
kunilou kunilou is offline
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Yet another Cheers:

Sam: How's life treating you, Norm?
Norm: Like it caught me in bed with its wife.
  #34  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:12 PM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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One of the reasons that I adored Pushing Daisies was the great writing and wordplay. (Well, that, and I have a massive crush on Kristin Chenoweth.) One of my favorite bits:

Emerson Cod: Sounds like you're a narcoleptic.
Ned: I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep?
Emerson Cod: What's the other one?
Ned: Necrophiliac.
Emerson Cod: Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head.
Olive Snook: Me too! I used to think that 'masturbation' meant chewing your food. (pause) I don't think that anymore.

Last edited by kenobi 65; 02-06-2017 at 12:13 PM.
  #35  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:15 PM
Shoeless Shoeless is offline
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There was an early 90s sitcom with Matt Frewer called "Doctor Doctor". The only line I remember from the entire series was when someone accidentally spills a cup of coffee in his lap, and he says "I hope that was decaf or I'm going to be up all night!"
  #36  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:16 PM
silenus silenus is offline
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The imminently quotable Blackadder:

"Baldrick, does it have to be this way? Our valued friendship ending with me cutting you up into strips and telling the prince that you walked over a very sharp cattle grid in an extremely heavy hat?"

"I've no desire to hang around with a bunch of upper-class delinquents, do 20 minutes' work and then spend the rest of the day loafing about in Paris drinking gallons of champagne and having dozens of moist, pink, highly experienced French peasant girls galloping up and down my - hang on..."
  #37  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:24 PM
kenobi 65 kenobi 65 is offline
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Yes, Blackadder!

"I have a plan so cunning you could stick a tail on it and call it a weasel."
  #38  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:32 PM
Mr. Greenjeans Mr. Greenjeans is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Robot Arm View Post
Police Squad!
Dutch Gunderson: Who are you and how did you get in here?
Frank: I'm a locksmith. And, I'm a locksmith.
That one is possibly my favorite line of all time. It's not only the line; Leslie Nielson's flat delivery makes it perfect.

So I'll offer my second favorites, all from a single episode of Futurama called "The Deep South":
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: This is the perfect chance for Fry to try out my new anti-pressure pills.
[opens a bottle and a giant pill falls out]
Fry: I cant swallow that.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, then good news. It's a suppository.

*****

Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Dear Lord! That's over 150 atmospheres of pressure!
Fry: How many atmospheres can the ship withstand?
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Well, it's a space ship, so I'd say anywhere between zero and one.

*****

Hermes Conrad: I'd love to stay, but I miss my wife and oxygen.
Professor Hubert Farnsworth: Yes, we all miss our loved ones and gasses.
You know, I just realized that all three of those punchlines are delivered by the Professor.
  #39  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:34 PM
jz78817 jz78817 is offline
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Seinfeld

Newman: I called in sick. I don't work in the rain.
George: You don't work in the rain. You're a mailman! Neither rain, nor sleet, n- IT'S THE FIRST ONE!!!
Newman: I was never that big on creeds.

(later)

George: Hey, I need you to do me a favor. I need you to run down and get me lunch at Paisano's.
Kramer: Wait a minute- what happened to Newman?
George: He called in "sick."
Kramer: Oh, right. Yeah, it's raining.
  #40  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:35 PM
simster simster is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kenobi 65 View Post
One of the reasons that I adored Pushing Daisies was the great writing and wordplay. (Well, that, and I have a massive crush on Kristin Chenoweth.) One of my favorite bits:

Emerson Cod: Sounds like you're a narcoleptic.
Ned: I suffer from sudden and uncontrollable attacks of deep sleep?
Emerson Cod: What's the other one?
Ned: Necrophiliac.
Emerson Cod: Words that sound alike get mixed up in my head.
Olive Snook: Me too! I used to think that 'masturbation' meant chewing your food. (pause) I don't think that anymore.
Two lines from that show I use when ever the chance is there (and these days, thats plenty)

Well, that idea might make a stupid idea feel better about itself.

Thats the kinda idea that makes a bad idea stand up and take notice.

Last edited by simster; 02-06-2017 at 12:38 PM.
  #41  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:50 PM
Soylent Juicy Soylent Juicy is offline
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Family Guy

Meg: "I can't taste salt."
  #42  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:51 PM
DrCube DrCube is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Greenjeans View Post

You know, I just realized that all three of those punchlines are delivered by the Professor.
One of my favorite Furturama lines is from the first season when the Professor creates a genius monkey, who then decides he doesn't want to be a genius anymore and runs away. And Farnsworth says "I always knew he would run away some day. Why, oh why didn't I break his legs?"

Probably one of the funniest things I remember seeing on TV is on 30 Rock when Liz visits Buzz Aldrin of all people, and he doesn't realize why the moon is out during the day, and yells at it like a crazy homeless dog or something, "Go back to the night! I walked on your face!". The fact that it was actually Buzz Aldrin is what makes that scene perfect.
  #43  
Old 02-06-2017, 12:54 PM
Chefguy Chefguy is offline
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Taxi: (paraphrasing)

Jim wanders in.
Louie (angry): Where have you been, Ignatowski?
Jim: I went away for the weekend.
Louie: You've been gone for ten days!
Jim: I thought we were on the metric system!
  #44  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:01 PM
Barkis is Willin' Barkis is Willin' is offline
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From the Arrested Development episode, "Pier Pressure." One of the greatest TV episodes ever. Michael asks George for contact information for J Walter Weatherman, a guy George had used to help teach his kids various lessons. Michael wants to teach his own son a lesson.

Michael Bluth: I need the guy with the fake arm, J. Walter Weatherman.
George Bluth, Sr.: Oh, he's dead. You killed him when you left the door open with the air conditioning on.
  #45  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:02 PM
jaycat jaycat is offline
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Another from Archie Bunker - Mike and Gloria say they're going to buy a bassinet for the baby. Archie says, "it'll be years before he can play one of those."
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  #46  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:03 PM
teela brown teela brown is offline
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The restaurant reunion scene from Sherlock:

John (not noticing that his French waiter is actually Sherlock back from the dead): Yes, well, surprise me.

Sherlock: I'm certainly endeavoring to, sir.
  #47  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:08 PM
Biffy the Elephant Shrew Biffy the Elephant Shrew is offline
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German tourist: Will you stop talking about the war!
Basil Fawlty: Me? You started it.
German tourist: We did not start it!
Basil Fawlty: Yes you did, you invaded Poland.
  #48  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:36 PM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoeless View Post
There was an early 90s sitcom with Matt Frewer called "Doctor Doctor". The only line I remember from the entire series was when someone accidentally spills a cup of coffee in his lap, and he says "I hope that was decaf or I'm going to be up all night!"
Even better:

Frewer is trapped in an airplane that's crashing.

Person 1: "What should we do?"
Frewer: "Depends."
Person 1: "Depends on what?"
Frewer: "No. Depends. The adult diaper."
  #49  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:56 PM
Snowboarder Bo Snowboarder Bo is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Shoeless View Post
There was an early 90s sitcom with Matt Frewer called "Doctor Doctor". The only line I remember from the entire series was when someone accidentally spills a cup of coffee in his lap, and he says "I hope that was decaf or I'm going to be up all night!"
There was a scene in one show where he and his girlfriend were talking:

Elizabeth: Do you know why I love you?
Mike: Because I'm pear shaped?
  #50  
Old 02-06-2017, 01:58 PM
Kobal2 Kobal2 is offline
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Location: Paris, France
Posts: 16,516
You Bet Your Life :

Groucho : And you're Mrs. X of City, State ?
Very Old Contestant : Miss X
Groucho : Oh, I'm sorry
Contestant : You may be sorry, but I'm not

Last edited by Kobal2; 02-06-2017 at 02:00 PM.
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