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  #51  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:32 PM
Bijou Drains is offline
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Court can tell me who her lawyer is I assume?
  #52  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:42 PM
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Originally Posted by Bijou Drains View Post
Court can tell me who her lawyer is I assume?
Probably. Also you aren't under any restrictions - you can contact her and tell her to tell her attorney to contact you. She might not be able to reply without falling afoul of the bail conditions but her attorney isn't bound by this and has the power to contact witnesses such as yourself.

Last edited by SamuelA; 05-19-2019 at 09:43 PM.
  #53  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:46 PM
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Iím not one to ever tell anyone that they donít need a lawyer, but you donít need a fucking lawyer. She needs a lawyer. A lawyer for you will be a waste of money but go ahead and waste it if you want. A lawyer is your advocate not hers. You are not charged she is. You can go in and tell the prosecutor that you donít want the case to go forward. Or you can pay someone to go in and tell the prosecutor you donít want the case to go forward. The prosecutorís decision will be the same.

In my court what happens 99.87% of the time when the victim doesnít want the case prosecuted they will do a conditional discharge. If there is no further acts of domestic violence in 90 days or 6 months or whatever then the charges are dropped. Maybe with some mandatory anger management. It generally does not end badly for anyone as long as there were only minor injuries and no criminal history.

Beyond that my rule of thumb is once the cops are called the relationship is over. Doubtful youíll listen to that.
  #54  
Old 05-19-2019, 09:48 PM
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Beyond that my rule of thumb is once the cops are called the relationship is over. Doubtful youíll listen to that.
I can second this. It could be a lot worse. All she had to do was say you sexually assaulted her and you'd be the one in jail. There does not need to be any evidence other than her statement for you to be imprisoned for this. Sound far fetched?

Then why did she call the cops if her intention was not to have them bring harm to you? You need to find another girlfriend.
  #55  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:01 PM
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In a practical sense, you have the power to say anything you need to say, whether or not it's true, when called to the stand in court. I'm not suggesting you commit perjury - just pointing out that if it even came to a trial, your girlfriend need not ever say anything as she would be advised to take the fifth. If you are forced to testify, you have the power to say the scratches were accidental and not an assault. As there is no one else that was ever in that room, that would be the end of the state's assault case.

Also, while you have been instructed not to contact her, you can contact her attorney, and rehearse what you need to say in court to make this case disappear.

Furthermore, you wouldn't have to lie. Simply saying that you do not recall the altercation clearly, and the scratches could easily be accidental, is plenty to establish reasonable doubt.


Based on what the OP has posted in this thread, this is very bad advice.

Bijou Drains, I'm sorry you're going through this.
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  #56  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:07 PM
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Uh... perhaps take a step back. For me, a total stranger, this seems like an odd reaction. Maybe "victim" is the wrong word for you here, but I don't really understand why you're so worried about this. You didn't call the police and you weren't arrested. Why not just let it play out without you?

Domestic violence cases are very hard for just this reason. The parties normally have a strong emotional bond to each other. That doesn't suddenly end because one has been arrested.

In fact, as Bijou Drains's posts make clear, he has been emotionally upset, to put it mildly, to see his girl friend led away in handcuffs. It's the normal instinct to want to help one's significant other.

Telling him to step back and just let it play out without him goes against that deep-rooted instinct to help the loved one. It may be good advice, but it's very hard to do.
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  #57  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:19 PM
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Telling him to step back and just let it play out without him goes against that deep-rooted instinct to help the loved one. It may be good advice, but it's very hard to do.
Also, how is it good advice? Our "justice" system is not based on any kind of redemption. She won't get therapy and do some community service and have to say she's sorry and get forgiven by society. Any conviction at all, felony or misdemeanor, will prevent her from many forms of gainful employment for the rest of her life. The U.S. has a "revenge based" (retributive instead of restorative) justice system, similar to other theocracies like Saudi Arabia.

If the OP thinks a conviction is not warranted in this scenario (even if she did technically assault him it was probably an accident in the heat of passion), it probably isn't "justice" for it to happen. If he just "lets it play out", that will be the outcome.

Last edited by SamuelA; 05-19-2019 at 10:21 PM.
  #58  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:34 PM
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around 10 years ago she was arrested at a political protest and did community service and that is off her record. Now that was not considered assault but it was also a misdemeanor. It was a case where people were told to leave the protest site and most did but she stayed and was arrested.
  #59  
Old 05-19-2019, 10:46 PM
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Iím not one to ever tell anyone that they donít need a lawyer, but you donít need a fucking la
This is a dumb take. If he wants advice on how to act in certain legal proceedings, then he needs a lawyer, not some internet rando's opinion. Isn't it against board rules for people to say stuff like this?
  #60  
Old 05-19-2019, 11:27 PM
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Isn't it against board rules for people to say stuff like this?
Nope. It's not against the rules.

It used to be that we did not allow legal advice here. I am assuming this was because the SDMB did not want to be on the hook legally for any legal advice given in the forums.

Quite a while ago, we changed this rule. You are now free to give any legal advice you would like to give, as long as it is in the IMHO forum. By placing it in the IMHO forum, that emphasizes that anything posted is just the opinions of some online internet folks, and is not the equivalent of professional legal advice.

Also important to note in this case that Loach is posting as a regular user (there is nothing identifying the post as moderation), and is not representing the SDMB in a legal capacity. This is Loach's opinion, and he is free to post it, just as anyone else is free to post their legal opinions.

Anyone can post their opinions on legal matters. But only in the IMHO forum.
  #61  
Old 05-19-2019, 11:37 PM
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The calling 911 while you were not around is yet another Big Red Flag.

Do you know what she told them? Because she may well have told them that YOU assaulted HER and (in her anger) wanted them to arrest you.

If that is the case, this will ABSOLUTELY happen again and maybe next time, YOU are the one arrested and charged.

If you had an attorney, they would likely ask this question in court.
  #62  
Old 05-19-2019, 11:53 PM
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You threw her down on the bed? Did she have reason to call the cops on you?
  #63  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:29 AM
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well I shoved her down to the bed so I wonder why I was not also charged? The cops knew that from both of us.
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I’m not one to ever tell anyone that they don’t need a lawyer, but you don’t need a fucking lawyer. She needs a lawyer. . . .
People who know better than I do are saying you don't need a lawyer. I just don't agree with that advice. It seems to me that you are in danger of incriminating yourself on the stand if you answer honestly and completely. I'm no lawyer, and my advice is worth what you'll pay for it, but I would advise you to consult one.

Her lawyer's job is to get her off on the charges, so s/he will likely advise you to get up there and tell the story of how you pushed her and etc. He'll have you confessing to get her off, not realizing that the bailiff will then be escorting you over to the county jail.

If that's not really a concern then I would love for somebody to explain to me why it isn't. I just don't get this advice at all.

Re: testifying, that is your job as a citizen. You get up on the stand, and you answer the questions honestly. It is not for you to decide what penalty she deserves, so stop trying. The only way you should not answer a question with full honesty is if it would incriminate you to do so. In that case, you should plead the fifth. (Again, I'm not a lawyer, I'm just telling you what seems obvious from where I stand.)

As for the relationship, either you haven't told us the whole truth about your behavior, or her calling the police was truly vicious. I would strongly recommend that you stay away from this woman permanently. Healthy relationships do not involve police intervention.

Last edited by TruCelt; 05-20-2019 at 12:30 AM.
  #64  
Old 05-20-2019, 01:50 AM
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If that's not really a concern then I would love for somebody to explain to me why it isn't. I just don't get this advice at all.
Because Bijou Drains, like pretty much the victim in any alleged crime, is out of the picture at this point. He has no standing in this court matter, and as he has no standing, he doesn't need a lawyer. Or, to put it differently, this is not the case of Bijou Drains v. Girlfriend; rather, it is the case of The People of the State v. Girlfriend. The People of the State have a lawyer: the Prosecutor. Girlfriend should have a lawyer: the Defense. The People and Girlfriend, as named parties to the case, have standing.

But Bijou Drains is not a named party. If he engages a lawyer, that lawyer will not be allowed to appear, speak, question, or do anything else in the courtroom. The best that lawyer could do, would be to coach Bijou Drains on how to act on the witness stand (if the matter goes to trial, and we have no assurance that it will), and/or perhaps negotiate with the state prosecutor to drop or reduce the charges. That's a lot of money spent, when the matter might be resolved by Bijou Drains simply saying to the prosecutor in an interview, "Listen, this is all a misunderstanding; let's just drop things, okay?"

At any rate, we might be getting ahead of ourselves, worrying about trials and witness appearances. We don't know what Girlfriend has done yet (waiting for a first court appearance? pleaded guilty? pleaded not guilty? asked for an adjournment pending retention of private counsel? asked for a public defender? etc.), and until we know the answer(s), we won't even know if there's going to be a trial. As I say to my clients, law is a little bit like a game of chess--we can think ahead and kinda sorta plan, but we won't know what to do for sure until we see what our opponent's last move definitely was.
  #65  
Old 05-20-2019, 03:31 AM
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OP: You are not on trial so instead of getting your own lawyer maybe you could consult with her lawyer (without your GF present) about the best way you can help her avoid a conviction and other no-fun stuff.

I'm not sure if that's allowed or if it's considered collusion or something but it seems GF's attorney could answer questions about subpoenas and your proper role in her case.
  #66  
Old 05-20-2019, 05:32 AM
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I just want the lawyer to give me advice on how to talk to the DA. Hopefully the lawyer can give me some things to mention beyond just "please drop the charges"
  #67  
Old 05-20-2019, 06:29 AM
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I just want the lawyer to give me advice on how to talk to the DA. Hopefully the lawyer can give me some things to mention beyond just "please drop the charges"
You need a lawyer who will advise you how to keep YOURSELF from being charged with a crime.

This thread is a circus of bad advice. Get your advice from a lawyer engaged to represent your interests, not your girlfriendís interests, and other than that stop listening to people in this thread.
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  #68  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:23 AM
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Question for the lawyers and other courtroom folk: Does a witness have the right to have a lawyer present in the courtroom, and can that lawyer address the judge if he has an issue with a question to the witness? I don't want to focus on Bijou Drains situation, but suppose someone was a participant in a bar fight involving multiple people where one person was stabbed. I can imagine someone being willing to testify that he saw someone stabbing someone else, but being reluctant to admit that he was drunk and punching people at the time. Would that person be allowed to have a lawyer present while he was testifying to advise him if he was at risk of self-incrimination?
  #69  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:25 AM
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None of us were there, none of us know what really happened, none of us know why she called 911, and none of us know what your gf is capable of doing or not doing. So don’t let any advice from this thread override what your head (not heart) is telling you to do. You have more insight into the truth than a bunch of strangers do.

Beyond saying this, just want to say sorry about your troubles. Soon this will be just a grainy memory. Life will go on.

Last edited by you with the face; 05-20-2019 at 07:27 AM.
  #70  
Old 05-20-2019, 07:27 AM
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Called a lawyer to get a name of a criminal lawyer. The receptionist has such a southern accent I could barely make out what she was saying. And I have lived in NC for 50 years.
  #71  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:08 AM
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This is a dumb take. If he wants advice on how to act in certain legal proceedings, then he needs a lawyer, not some internet rando's opinion. Isn't it against board rules for people to say stuff like this?
A rando who has been through or seen hundreds of such cases over the years but whatever.

If you donít want to hear the opinions of people with experience donít post in a forum that asks for opinions. Maybe Iím full of shit and really work in a 7-11 itís up to the OP to decide.


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People who know better than I do are saying you don't need a lawyer. I just don't agree with that advice. It seems to me that you are in danger of incriminating yourself on the stand if you answer honestly and completely. I'm no lawyer, and my advice is worth what you'll pay for it, but I would advise you to consult one.

Her lawyer's job is to get her off on the charges, so s/he will likely advise you to get up there and tell the story of how you pushed her and etc. He'll have you confessing to get her off, not realizing that the bailiff will then be escorting you over to the county jail.

This isnít Perry Mason or Matlock. They are not looking to find the real killer. Itís a Simple Assault case.

If a family member came to me with this scenario and assuming all the facts have been given correctly this is the advice I would give. Go to the court date or contact the prosecutor beforehand and request for a meeting. He represents the state but he is also supposed to advocate for the victim. Tell him you donít want the prosecution to go forward. It all depends on the prosecutor and the jurisdiction but they often will not want to waste time on a minor case with an uncooperative victim. However often they will want to not simply drop it. They may have a procedure in which they want the dismissal to be conditional. Usually no further acts of domestic violence for a certain period of time. Bring a lawyer or not. Itís my experience that you will get the same answer either way. In more than 20 years Iíve never seen a victim bring or need a lawyer but if you want to go for it. If you donít bring a lawyer and you donít like what the prosecutor says you can always tell him you want to consult with an attorney before proceeding.

It feels like this is the worst thing ever and for you it may be. For the prosecutor itís his job. The prosecutor probably has 10 of these files sitting on his desk. 8 of them have victims that donít want to go forward with prosecution. You will find there is going to already be a procedure in place that the prosecutor will want to follow to bring it to a quick conclusion so he can deal with the next 10 that will come in. He will let you know before anyone is on the stand.
  #72  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:37 AM
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thanks to everyone for advice. Would it help for my therapist to ask for charges to be dropped since testifying would be bad for my emotional health? I am very depressed over this .
The charges were brought by the State. This isn't a private matter between you and your girlfriend. Your girlfriend has been determined by the State to be someone that needs to learn to control her behavior. She may do this same thing to someone else, not just you.

I highly doubt that having your therapist make such request would have any bearing on how this case plays out.
  #73  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:39 AM
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Also, I'm not sure I would want to be in a relationship with anyone that would throw something at me. That's just not how you handle problems.
  #74  
Old 05-20-2019, 10:50 AM
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Question for the lawyers and other courtroom folk: Does a witness have the right to have a lawyer present in the courtroom, and can that lawyer address the judge if he has an issue with a question to the witness? I don't want to focus on Bijou Drains situation, but suppose someone was a participant in a bar fight involving multiple people where one person was stabbed. I can imagine someone being willing to testify that he saw someone stabbing someone else, but being reluctant to admit that he was drunk and punching people at the time. Would that person be allowed to have a lawyer present while he was testifying to advise him if he was at risk of self-incrimination?
A witness can certainly have a lawyer in the courtroom. That lawyer probably can't address the judge during trial. (depends on the judge, but most would have no patience for it, and it certainly shouldn't happen in front of the jury)

Usually, when invoking the fifth, a witness will do it for all questions about the event, not just the questions that were getting close to risking self-incrimination. You don't need, and can't have, a lawyer help you on a question by question basis.
  #75  
Old 05-20-2019, 11:07 AM
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If a family member came to me with this scenario and assuming all the facts have been given correctly this is the advice I would give. Go to the court date or contact the prosecutor beforehand and request for a meeting. He represents the state but he is also supposed to advocate for the victim. Tell him you don’t want the prosecution to go forward. It all depends on the prosecutor and the jurisdiction but they often will not want to waste time on a minor case with an uncooperative victim. However often they will want to not simply drop it. They may have a procedure in which they want the dismissal to be conditional. Usually no further acts of domestic violence for a certain period of time. Bring a lawyer or not. It’s my experience that you will get the same answer either way. In more than 20 years I’ve never seen a victim bring or need a lawyer but if you want to go for it. If you don’t bring a lawyer and you don’t like what the prosecutor says you can always tell him you want to consult with an attorney before proceeding.
A counterpoint to this is that when someone hires an attorney, they're not just hiring someone who will help them with a court trial, they're hiring someone who knows how the legal system works. My two-cents advice to Bijou Drains is “You’re no longer involved in this case. Keep your head down and remain uninvolved until someone makes you a part of it. Then, think about hiring a lawyer.” However, if he wants to have input into the legal system, then it’s probably worth hiring an expert to guide him through that system.

Last edited by Wrenching Spanners; 05-20-2019 at 11:09 AM.
  #76  
Old 05-20-2019, 11:09 AM
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So in other words, she started the altercation, called 911 after it was over, didnít tell you why and apparently didnít even tell you she called?
That's what I was pondering. She set you(OP) up to go to jail and it backfired. She set you up. To send you to JAIL. And you're feeling sorry for her? I don't think she'd show you that kind of mercy, she wanted to fuck you up. Get your heart out of this situation and use your head--you have an enemy who has tried to send you to jail. You think it's going to be all puppy dogs and kittens when this is over? She'll do it again, or worse.
  #77  
Old 05-20-2019, 12:45 PM
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The court told me today that they have a program of classes that can be completed to get the charges dismissed. That is the most likely path the case will follow since this is first offense.
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Old 05-20-2019, 02:37 PM
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Is this a common manner in which your GF expresses her feelings? How often does she shift to physical confrontation?
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Old 05-20-2019, 03:59 PM
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I'd like to go off-track and recommend the OP get some counseling on codependence. From his reactions I'm worried he may have issues beyond his girlfriend being arrested.
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Old 05-20-2019, 04:14 PM
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I came here for legal advice. The other advice I am ignoring, that is what therapy is for which I am starting up again.
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Old 05-20-2019, 08:15 PM
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Probably a good idea.
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Old 05-21-2019, 12:00 AM
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Don't know about other States (though assume they're the same), but in Hawaii you can look up the status (charges, court date, attorneys, judge, etc.) of local civil and criminal cases online through the State website. Everything from traffic violations to divorce to murder. The info is updated daily and you can also purchase copies of the court documents. This is how I knew that my sister's son served time for drugs, firing a gun and domestic violence.

There's also sites where you can see who's in jail and that's how I know (I only talk to my sister during our annual dinner) that he's currently out.

Last edited by lingyi; 05-21-2019 at 12:01 AM.
  #83  
Old 05-21-2019, 12:12 AM
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I just want the lawyer to give me advice on how to talk to the DA. Hopefully the lawyer can give me some things to mention beyond just "please drop the charges"
I don't think that's a bad idea at all. A quick consolation shouldn't be that expensive and they can tell give you what the local DA is likely to do.


I haven't had criminal issues, but I have had civil issues that talking to my attorney really helped clarify potential courses of action. Talking to an attorney can give you a lot of confidence.
  #84  
Old 05-21-2019, 05:55 AM
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I don't think that's a bad idea at all. A quick consolation shouldn't be that expensive
This typo is on point.
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Old 05-21-2019, 08:06 AM
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This typo is on point.
Damn autocorrect. Ha ha.
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Old 05-21-2019, 10:11 AM
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Be grateful you're not a resident of Georgia; in my jurisdiction, they probably would have arrested both of you.

Your concern for your GF is admirable. But you have to leave her alone until this is resolved. That's the best and safest course for you and for her.

Domestic abuse is a significant problem in our society and law enforcement -- finally -- takes it seriously. (They didn't used to.) Law enforcement also understands it's an equal opportunity offense. They likewise know the process of calling 911 can be weaponized against people the complainant disagrees with, which sounds like what they figured out in the course of answering this call.

Anger can take you places you never intended to be. We are still responsible for the consequences, however unintended.

The very best thing you can do for yourself and your GF is to tend to your own patch here. Getting some therapy or at least talking this over with expert assistance -- a doctor, a lawyer, a counselor, a pastor, even -- can be useful. It's not just the incident and the consequences of it but what happened to bring this set of circumstances about to begin with. You want to learn the greater lesson in all of this and move forward. Whether that is with your GF or not remains to be seen but you need to think of it in terms of what is healthy and good for both of you and most of all yourself. It's not an issue right now and shouldn't be until you're clear in your mind and free to make decisions. Right now you're not.

Good luck to the both of you as this process plays out. Let us know how you're doing, please.

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  #87  
Old 05-21-2019, 10:20 AM
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restarted therapy today and it went well
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Old 05-21-2019, 11:54 PM
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Glad to hear it. Rooting for you in a rough time.
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Old 05-22-2019, 03:56 AM
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That's what I was pondering. She set you(OP) up to go to jail and it backfired. She set you up. To send you to JAIL. And you're feeling sorry for her? I don't think she'd show you that kind of mercy, she wanted to fuck you up. Get your heart out of this situation and use your head--you have an enemy who has tried to send you to jail. You think it's going to be all puppy dogs and kittens when this is over? She'll do it again, or worse.

This. That she threw a phone at him or left scratch marks on him is really unimportant. The important thing is that she attacked him and then tried to have him thrown in jail (which means prosecution, a criminal record, with any luck his picture in the local paper designating him as a wife beater, etc...).

I'm willing to accept the phone throwing as something emotional (although I have difficulties dealing with short-tempered people). But the calling the police part was heinous. I'd stay as far away as I could from such a person. He's lucky to not be the one facing trial this time, he shouldn't push his luck. Who knows for what he'll be arrested next time. Rape? Attempted murder? Or will he instead find all his stuff and his car destroyed when coming back home? Or will some anonymous person call his employer to warn him that he's an embezzler?
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  #90  
Old 05-27-2019, 06:23 PM
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I was thinking if I had said to the cops "I want a lawyer" and said nothing to them, would that have led to me getting arrested? I think so. At the time it did not occur to me to clam up and say nothing. My first time ever talking to cops like this so I was not thinking it through with logic.

Last edited by Bijou Drains; 05-27-2019 at 06:24 PM.
  #91  
Old 05-27-2019, 09:16 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bijou Drains View Post
I was thinking if I had said to the cops "I want a lawyer" and said nothing to them, would that have led to me getting arrested? I think so. At the time it did not occur to me to clam up and say nothing. My first time ever talking to cops like this so I was not thinking it through with logic.
I can only say the following with absolute certainty for my state but I would guess that in your state it would be the same or very similar.

When there is an unwitnessed by police assault and it doesnít rise to the level of a felony then no arrest is made and both parties would have the opportunity to sign complaints.

When there is a relationship present that would make it fall under domestic violence statutes then mandatory arrests come into play. That doesnít mean that every possible situation that can fall under domestic violence means a mandatory arrest. Because it doesnít. But one of the main conditions that would lead to a mandatory arrest is if there are visible signs of injury. So the number one factor that lead to her arrest was that you had visible signs of injury. I canít know for sure but there is an excellent chance that things would have gone exactly the same way whether you talked or not.

Just my opinion but the fact that you are still, um, beating yourself up about this means your head is still in the wrong place. She escalated it into a physical confrontation, she injured you, she called the cops to try and get you in trouble. You did nothing wrong by telling the truth. Let it play out and worry about yourself.
  #92  
Old 05-27-2019, 11:35 PM
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Lost of jumping to conclusions here. We don't know with certainty why the GF called the police. Yes, it's likely it was to get the OP in trouble, but it may also have been, "I'm ready to kill my BF if I don't get away from him and need to turn myself in before this goes any further!". "He's so obsessed with me, unless one of us is taken away by the police, he won't let me go!".

Also, we don't know if the GF has been actually been charged and is in custody or living somewhere else. It seems to me that even if she's not allowed to contact the OP directly, if she wanted the relationship to continue, she would get a message to him through someone else. If she's in custody, she would likely have contacted someone, friends or family to assure them she's all right, even if she may not be in contact with them for a while.

I hope for both parties, that once this is resolved, they both go their separate ways and the OP's therapy allows him to move on.
  #93  
Old 05-27-2019, 11:42 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bijou Drains View Post
I was thinking if I had said to the cops "I want a lawyer" and said nothing to them, would that have led to me getting arrested? I think so. At the time it did not occur to me to clam up and say nothing. My first time ever talking to cops like this so I was not thinking it through with logic.
Not talking to the police isn't logical at all as it may have gotten you both arrested. She for the obvious scratches on your face and apparently admitting to throwing the phone at you. You for refusing to cooperate with the police and by lawyering up, suspicion of your being guilty of something more than defending yourself and trying to defuse the situation.
  #94  
Old 05-28-2019, 05:39 AM
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Originally Posted by lingyi View Post
L
Also, we don't know if the GF has been actually been charged and is in custody or living somewhere else. It seems to me that even if she's not allowed to contact the OP directly, if she wanted the relationship to continue, she would get a message to him through someone else.
Not necessarily - in my jurisdiction, an order of protection typically forbids third-party contact.
  #95  
Old 05-28-2019, 07:08 AM
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Originally Posted by Bijou Drains View Post
they can prosecute without the victim ever going to court?
That's quite common in cases of domestic violence.
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  #96  
Old 05-28-2019, 08:12 AM
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she only spent 12 hours in jail. I assume she is with a friend now. There were no scratches on my face, just a few on my arm.

Good to know that asking for a lawyer is "suspicion of guilt . " That seems pretty screwed up to me. These local cops spend about 90% of their time writing traffic tickets ( I looked it up) so this kind of thing is pretty foreign to them.
  #97  
Old 05-28-2019, 08:18 AM
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Contacting a lawyer now is not a basis for suspicion of guilt. Please, get professional competent advice before you make any decisions.
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  #98  
Old 05-28-2019, 08:25 AM
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I meant talking to a lawyer on that night makes me look bad. I have a lawyer ready now if I need one.
  #99  
Old 05-28-2019, 08:28 AM
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Good
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  #100  
Old 05-28-2019, 08:51 AM
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I am not a lawyer, or much of anything really, but I know in domestic violence cases, similar to sexual assault, it is tough to remember that even as a victim, you are a witness. Nothing more or less, really. You are evidence. It is not up to you whether or not the case goes forward. It is not even up to you to get a conviction. It is up to you to tell what you remember and that is pretty much it.

When you think about it that way, your lack of control as far as charges becomes more clear.
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