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  #3501  
Old 09-10-2019, 09:43 PM
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You're tops in my book!!
  #3502  
Old 09-10-2019, 11:35 PM
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Did you hear about the girl who liked to explore the world while wearing a really cool hat? You know, Fedora the Explorer?
  #3503  
Old 09-10-2019, 11:37 PM
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^^(Now that made me laugh)

I tam what I tam.
  #3504  
Old 09-10-2019, 11:55 PM
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Haven't heard how you're doing lately, Beck. So, what 's been hatpinning?

(And thanks. )
  #3505  
Old 09-11-2019, 01:15 AM
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I've beanie a good girl.
  #3506  
Old 09-11-2019, 01:53 AM
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Still enjoying those porkpies?
  #3507  
Old 09-11-2019, 02:44 AM
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That's the last straw.
  #3508  
Old 09-11-2019, 07:29 AM
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People who use straws suck.
  #3509  
Old 09-11-2019, 09:47 AM
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I heard the plastic straw bans were predicted by a 16th century profit. You know, Nostrawdamus?
  #3510  
Old 09-11-2019, 10:40 AM
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Should've seen that pun coming.
  #3511  
Old 09-11-2019, 04:57 PM
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Did anyone see that one coming? Just taking a straw poll here.
  #3512  
Old 09-11-2019, 05:08 PM
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I think you're all just grasping at straws.
  #3513  
Old 09-11-2019, 05:43 PM
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Or just bending the straw.
  #3514  
Old 09-11-2019, 06:35 PM
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These straw puns suck.
  #3515  
Old 09-11-2019, 06:44 PM
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I must look like a sucker. The bank teller gave me a lolly-pop.
  #3516  
Old 09-11-2019, 07:02 PM
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Bank tellers are such gossips.
  #3517  
Old 09-12-2019, 01:12 AM
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They should put their gossip in check.
  #3518  
Old 09-12-2019, 02:17 AM
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I washed my jeans today and inadvertently laundered some cash. Shhh! don't tell the Feds!
  #3519  
Old 09-12-2019, 07:37 AM
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My parents hand me down their clothes when they donít want them anymore. For example, half of my jeans came from my mom and half from my dad.
  #3520  
Old 09-12-2019, 04:23 PM
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I always got my older brother's hand-me-downs, but his jeans always smelled like farts. I called them "Inherit the Wind."
  #3521  
Old 09-12-2019, 05:31 PM
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You should listen to stories about old jeans. They're riveting.
  #3522  
Old 09-12-2019, 07:00 PM
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When I was a kid my mom would buy cheepo jeans that would leach out their color. People were always saying bad jeans run in our family.
  #3523  
Old 09-12-2019, 07:05 PM
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My sister Jean called, she's blue.
  #3524  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:07 PM
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I know. I red that somewhere recently.
  #3525  
Old 09-12-2019, 11:35 PM
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My least favorite color is purple. I hate it more than red and blue combined.
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  #3526  
Old 09-13-2019, 01:24 AM
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Once I mediated a argument between yellow and green but eventually got them to call a chartreuse.
  #3527  
Old 09-13-2019, 01:29 AM
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I imagine their positions colored their respective arguments.
  #3528  
Old 09-13-2019, 03:42 AM
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I once asked my brother what color is a combination of yellow and red. He said, "I dunno. Orange you gonna tell me?"
  #3529  
Old 09-13-2019, 05:24 AM
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"Hello, I am Indigo Montoya, you bleached my favorite pair of jeans, prepare to dye."
  #3530  
Old 09-13-2019, 07:21 AM
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Don't expect him.any time soon. He's tye-ed one on.
  #3531  
Old 09-13-2019, 08:28 AM
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The store ran out of my favorite laundry detergent so I had to roll with the Tide.
  #3532  
Old 09-13-2019, 05:47 PM
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If it works well, you can climb on your soapbox and tell the world.
  #3533  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:04 PM
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Just make sure to keep it clean, Mister!
  #3534  
Old 09-13-2019, 11:07 PM
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Don't press me.
  #3535  
Old 09-14-2019, 12:26 AM
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You'll get steamed?
  #3536  
Old 09-14-2019, 12:39 AM
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Nah. I'll fold.
  #3537  
Old 09-14-2019, 12:54 AM
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I was offered a job in a monastery laundry. But I decided not to go through with it, as I didn't want to pick up any dirty habits.
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  #3538  
Old 09-14-2019, 01:35 AM
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I'm sure that you picked up nun.
  #3539  
Old 09-14-2019, 02:40 AM
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Nun's the worse for wear.
  #3540  
Old 09-14-2019, 03:45 AM
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The convent's sandwich maker is an alcoholic. She's the wurst, bar nun.
  #3541  
Old 09-14-2019, 09:56 AM
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My dad was janitor at a friary and he kept a big ring of extra keys in our kitchen drawer. So you might say I was raised by monk keys.
  #3542  
Old 09-15-2019, 12:03 AM
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My local priest thinks he's ugly, so ugly in fact he's decided to wear a mask when he offers holy communion. Certainly is a blessing in disguise.
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  #3543  
Old 09-15-2019, 12:12 AM
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I hope he doesn't cowl to fashion.
  #3544  
Old 09-15-2019, 12:52 AM
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He had a little too much communion wine, and found "It was fashionatin', I know"....
  #3545  
Old 09-17-2019, 07:28 AM
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And in the morning he delivered quite a bleching.
  #3546  
Old 09-17-2019, 10:47 AM
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Are you talking about the famous cowboy Wyatt Burp?
  #3547  
Old 09-17-2019, 01:02 PM
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OK!
  #3548  
Old 09-17-2019, 03:37 PM
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He would have got out of Dodge, if he drove one. As it was, he got out of Chevy.

Last edited by Spoons; 09-17-2019 at 03:37 PM.
  #3549  
Old 09-18-2019, 11:07 AM
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The sheriff wanted him out of town and couldn't car less if it was in a Dodge or a Chevy.
  #3550  
Old 09-19-2019, 01:52 AM
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Either way, he had to Ford the creek.
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