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  #251  
Old 07-27-2012, 03:59 PM
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Kid, I've flown from one side of this galaxy to the other, and I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen *anything* to make me believe that there's one all-powerful Force controlling everything.
  #252  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:02 PM
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Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
  #253  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:07 PM
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Well, it's a well known fact, Sonny Jim, that there's a secret society of the five wealthiest people in the world, known as The Pentavirate, who run everything in the world, including the newspapers, and meet tri-annually at a secret country mansion in Colorado, known as The Meadows.
I don't suppose they told you anything, in Denver, about the tragedy we had up here in the winter of 1970?
  #254  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:22 PM
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Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together... mass hysteria!
  #255  
Old 07-27-2012, 04:25 PM
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It's a conspiracy, man! The oil companies got a grip on the government. They're feeding us a bunch of lies, man!
  #256  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:09 PM
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It's simple economics. Today it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years, food. Plutonium. Maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the people are gonna want us to do then?
  #257  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:13 PM
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Welcome to The Suck.
  #258  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:15 PM
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It's simple economics. Today it's oil, right? In ten or fifteen years, food. Plutonium. Maybe even sooner. Now, what do you think the people are gonna want us to do then?
Fuck your father in the shower and then have a snack?
  #259  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:17 PM
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Fuck you, fuckball!
  #260  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:20 PM
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Warning: If you are reading this then this warning is for you. Every word you read of this useless fine print is another second off your life. Don't you have other things to do? Is your life so empty that you honestly can't think of a better way to spend these moments? Or are you so impressed with authority that you give respect and credence to all that claim it? Do you read everything you're supposed to read? Do you think every thing you're supposed to think? Buy what you're told to want? Get out of your apartment. Meet a member of the opposite sex. Stop the excessive shopping and masturbation. Quit your job. Start a fight. Prove you're alive. If you don't claim your humanity you will become a statistic. You have been warned
  #261  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:31 PM
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Drained dry. I'm so sorry. Here, if you have a milkshake, and I have a milkshake, and I have a straw. There it is, that's a straw, you see? You watching?. And my straw reaches acrooooooossss the room, and starts to drink your milkshake. I... drink... your... milkshake!
  #262  
Old 07-27-2012, 05:59 PM
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That's a pretty fucking good milkshake. I don't know if it's worth five dollars but it's pretty fucking good.
  #263  
Old 07-27-2012, 06:05 PM
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Sometimes you gotta say "What the fuck!"
  #264  
Old 07-27-2012, 07:04 PM
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Fuck it ! Yes ! That's your answer. That your answer to everything. Tattoo it on your forehead ! Your revolution is over, Mr. Lebowski ! Condolences ! THE BUMS LOST !
  #265  
Old 07-27-2012, 07:31 PM
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I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man.
  #266  
Old 07-27-2012, 08:17 PM
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Look at me. I'm a big fat slob. I've got more chins than a Chinese phone book. I've not seen my willy in two years, which is long enough to declare it legally dead.
  #267  
Old 07-27-2012, 09:15 PM
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Stop pretending. If you look like this, then you're fat. In fact, you're a fat slob. Admit it. Do something about it. Want to stop sweating on relatively cool days? Call Vitaflex toll free. If you call now, we'll send you a free plant.

Last edited by astorian; 07-27-2012 at 09:16 PM.
  #268  
Old 07-28-2012, 01:07 AM
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At Globo Gym we understand that ugliness and fatness are genetic disorders, much like baldness or necrophilia, and it's only your fault if you don't hate yourself enough to do something about it.
  #269  
Old 07-28-2012, 03:02 AM
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Oh, wait--was she a great big fat person?
  #270  
Old 07-28-2012, 05:32 AM
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You... you bungled it. You and your stupid attempt to buy it. Kemedov found out how valuable it was, no wonder we had such an easy time stealing it. You... you imbecile. You bloated idiot. You stupid fat-head you.
  #271  
Old 07-28-2012, 08:56 AM
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Those are harsh words to throw at a man, especially when he's walking out of your bedroom.
  #272  
Old 07-28-2012, 12:36 PM
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I say we grease this rat-fuck son of a bitch right now.
  #273  
Old 07-28-2012, 01:50 PM
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Many that live deserve death. And some die that deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then be not too eager to deal out death in the name of judgment. For even the wise cannot see all ends.
  #274  
Old 07-28-2012, 03:23 PM
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We all have it coming, kid.
  #275  
Old 07-28-2012, 11:30 PM
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Solitude gives me freedom of mind and independence of action.
  #276  
Old 07-29-2012, 02:30 AM
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Solitude gives me freedom of mind and independence of action.
But you can't hold a whole fraternity responsible for the behavior of a few, sick twisted individuals. For if you do, then shouldn't we blame the whole fraternity system? And if the whole fraternity system is guilty, then isn't this an indictment of our educational institutions in general? I put it to you, Greg - isn't this an indictment of our entire American society? Well, you can do whatever you want to us, but we're not going to sit here and listen to you badmouth the United States of America. Gentlemen!
  #277  
Old 07-29-2012, 04:15 AM
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You're out of order! You're out of order! The whole trial is out of order!
  #278  
Old 07-29-2012, 05:55 AM
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Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me? Are you talkin' to me?
  #279  
Old 07-29-2012, 06:05 AM
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Look kids, Big Ben, Parliament.
  #280  
Old 07-29-2012, 06:20 AM
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Remember, remember the fifth of November,
Gunpowder, treason and plot.
I see no reason why gunpowder treason
Should ever be forgot.
  #281  
Old 07-29-2012, 06:22 AM
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That's my wife you got there! That's my planet you're blowing up! And that's... that's just some guy I met, but still, I think this thing has gone just a little too far!
  #282  
Old 07-29-2012, 07:01 AM
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I know I've made some very poor decisions recently, but I can give you my complete assurance that my work will be back to normal. I've still got the greatest enthusiasm and confidence in the mission. And I want to help you.
  #283  
Old 07-29-2012, 09:45 AM
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It might have been my mission, but it sure as shit was the Chief's boat.
  #284  
Old 07-29-2012, 10:15 AM
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Say, who do you think you are, all this we'll do this an' we'll do that? 'Oose boat is this, any'ow? 'Oo asked you aboard? Huh? Huh? You crazy, psalm-singin', skinny old maid.
  #285  
Old 07-29-2012, 11:16 AM
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I'm Batman.
  #286  
Old 07-29-2012, 11:52 AM
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Fill your hands, you sonuvabitch!
  #287  
Old 07-29-2012, 11:55 AM
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That's mighty bold talk for a one-eyed fat man!

Last edited by terentii; 07-29-2012 at 11:56 AM.
  #288  
Old 07-29-2012, 12:01 PM
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Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
  #289  
Old 07-29-2012, 12:38 PM
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Do you want to know why I use a knife? Guns are too quick. You can't savor all the... little emotions. In... you see, in their last moments, people show you who they really are. So in a way, I know your friends better than you ever did. Would you like to know which of them were cowards?
"Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!"
  #290  
Old 07-29-2012, 12:49 PM
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"Why you stuck-up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!"
Hey! Who's scruffy lookin'?
  #291  
Old 07-29-2012, 02:10 PM
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Hey! Who's scruffy lookin'?
Look what you did to my shirt.
  #292  
Old 07-29-2012, 04:49 PM
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I see you've managed to get your shirt off.
  #293  
Old 07-29-2012, 04:55 PM
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Now I'm cold and hungry and wet and tired and short-tempered, so get on with it!
  #294  
Old 07-29-2012, 05:41 PM
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The time has come to select one courageous young man and woman for the honor of representing District Twelve in the 74th annual Hunger Games!
  #295  
Old 07-29-2012, 07:01 PM
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"Courage! What makes a king out of a slave? Courage! What makes the flag on the mast to wave? Courage! What makes the elephant charge his tusk in the misty mist, or the dusky dusk? What makes the muskrat guard his musk? Courage! What makes the sphinx the seventh wonder? Courage! What makes the dawn come up like thunder? Courage! What makes the Hottentot so hot? What puts the "ape" in apricot? What have they got that I ain't got?"
"Courage!"
  #296  
Old 07-29-2012, 07:32 PM
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You think that I'm some guinea, fresh off the boat, and you can kick me! But I'm too big for that now. I'm sick a' takin the scrap from you, Leo. I'm a' of marching into this goddamn office to kiss your Irish ass. And I'M SICK A' THE HIGH HAT!
  #297  
Old 07-29-2012, 08:05 PM
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When you buy a hat like this I bet you get a free bowl of soup, huh? Oh, it looks good on you though.
  #298  
Old 07-29-2012, 08:24 PM
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Don't try to get on my good side, Truvy. I no longer have one.
  #299  
Old 07-29-2012, 10:49 PM
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I lost it. I lost it all - faith, dignity... about 15 pounds.
  #300  
Old 07-30-2012, 08:31 AM
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Haven't you ever lost anything, Dr. Bronx? Your purse? Your car keys? Well, it's rather like that. Now you have it and now you don't!
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