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  #1  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:39 AM
Aeschines Aeschines is offline
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World's Worst Cocktails

The Mummy

3 oz Orange Pedialyte
1 oz Sambuca
Dash of bitters
Cinammon stick
Smidge of nutmeg

Combine the Pedialyte, Sambuca, and bitters in coffee mug. Stir. Microwave for 20 sec. on high. Add cinammon stick and nutmeg.
  #2  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:42 AM
lokij lokij is offline
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The Fitzroy Cocktail

Methanol
Ginger Beer
1 Teaspoon of boot polish


This is an actual recipe.
  #3  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:48 AM
dnooman dnooman is offline
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One night, when pretty drunk to begin with, I decided to try the only alcohol and only mixer in the house together. True, it was not an actual cocktail recipe. That ghastly concoction was Absolut Peppar and Coke. I nearly barfed.
  #4  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:54 AM
Savannah Savannah is offline
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Rye whiskey and chocolate milk.

If you've already had a few drinks, you can convince yourself it's sort of like Bailey's. Or something.

Hey, I'm sure people have imbibed worse.
  #5  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:54 AM
GIGObuster GIGObuster is offline
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Another real one:

http://www.drinksmixer.com/drinko12n352.html
Poor Man's Bloody Mary:

Quote:
Scale ingredients to servings
4 oz beer
8 oz tomato juice
1 splash Tabasco® sauce
1 splash Worcestershire sauce
1 pinch salt
1 pinch peppers

Build over ice cubes in a large old-fashioned or lowball glass. Add beer last.

Or the Variation:

Mexican chabela

Drop the tomato juice, switch it with Clamato... yummy!
  #6  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:56 AM
TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW TLDRIDKJKLOLFTW is offline
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"The Bluedriver"

Blue Kool-Aid and Vodka. Proceed directly to toilet. (yes, i did this one at age 20 or so).
  #7  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:00 AM
Starving Artist Starving Artist is offline
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The Phillips Screwdriver

Vodka
Orange Juice
Phillips' Milk of Magnesia
  #8  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:04 AM
Darryl Lict Darryl Lict is offline
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This drink is not really that bad, but it can make for a real barf-fest after about 6 or 8. I submit to to you, the TKO.

Equal parts of:

Tequila
Kahlua
Ouzo
  #9  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:06 AM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darryl Lict
This drink is not really that bad, but it can make for a real barf-fest after about 6 or 8. I submit to to you, the TKO.

Equal parts of:

Tequila
Kahlua
Ouzo
Moving thread from IMHO to Cafe Society, though that last post almost made me throw it in The BBQ Pit.
  #10  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:29 AM
pulykamell pulykamell is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dnooman
One night, when pretty drunk to begin with, I decided to try the only alcohol and only mixer in the house together. True, it was not an actual cocktail recipe. That ghastly concoction was Absolut Peppar and Coke. I nearly barfed.
Under the same circumstances, I ended up mixing myself Gin and Cream Soda. I have to say, I would rather have had the Peppar and Coke.
  #11  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:49 AM
Horatio Hellpop Horatio Hellpop is offline
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Back in the early 80s, Penthouse had a contest to come up with horrible cocktail. The one I remember was the "Shit or Go Blind": Wood alcohol and prune juice.
  #12  
Old 03-03-2007, 03:33 AM
dnooman dnooman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pulykamell
Under the same circumstances, I ended up mixing myself Gin and Cream Soda. I have to say, I would rather have had the Peppar and Coke.
I believe you are sorely mistaken. If you have to try it in order to gt proof, I feel sorry for you.
  #13  
Old 03-03-2007, 03:39 AM
DellieM DellieM is offline
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My poor dead mother actually once drank Brasso (used to clean copper, brass and other shiny objects in the house) strained through two slices of white bread. And also, apparently two eyedroppers of car battery acid in milk and called it "White Lady". Tragic, and possibly the worst cocktails ever thought of.

There is a comedian of some note (now gone to God also) who replied when asked "Do you like cocktails?" said "I love them - tell me some!"
  #14  
Old 03-03-2007, 04:29 AM
jackelope jackelope is offline
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I once, in the dark days of August 1990, spent a (very) long night in the mountains of North Carolina drinking an unnamed cocktail that consisted of:
  • 1/3 Jolt Cola (remember Jolt Cola?)
  • 1/3 Captain Morgan's Rum
  • 1/3 Robitussin cough syrup
The practice is not recommended.
  #15  
Old 03-03-2007, 04:58 AM
enigm4tic enigm4tic is offline
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worlds worst?

shot of vodka
splash of soy sauce

variably called "asian vodka" and "black death"

it's awful
  #16  
Old 03-03-2007, 05:20 AM
Darryl Lict Darryl Lict is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Krokodil
Back in the early 80s, Penthouse had a contest to come up with horrible cocktail. The one I remember was the "Shit or Go Blind": Wood alcohol and prune juice.
Are you sure that it's not called the "Shit AND Go Blind"?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DellieM
My poor dead mother actually once drank Brasso (used to clean copper, brass and other shiny objects in the house) strained through two slices of white bread. And also, apparently two eyedroppers of car battery acid in milk and called it "White Lady". Tragic, and possibly the worst cocktails ever of.
Wow, your Mom was hard core. Where I come from, it was always sterno filtered through cheesecloth!

Quote:
Originally Posted by jackelope
I once, in the dark days of August 1990, spent a (very) long night in the mountains of North Carolina drinking an unnamed cocktail that consisted of:

* 1/3 Jolt Cola (remember Jolt Cola?)
* 1/3 Captain Morgan's Rum
* 1/3 Robitussin cough syrup

The practice is not recommended.
I remember Jolt! I saved a bunch of the bottles and used them for homebrew beer! I think the drink you describe was called either a speedball (John Belushi RIP) or a Flaming Moe.
  #17  
Old 03-03-2007, 09:15 AM
Mr. Miskatonic Mr. Miskatonic is offline
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The Axis powers:

Equal parts of

Jaegermeister
Sake
White or Red Wine

Mix, drink, and expell.
  #18  
Old 03-03-2007, 09:54 AM
SmackFu SmackFu is offline
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Any beer + v-8 combo, like the one above, smells horrible, looks like it came out of a toilet, and is almost undrinkable.

Adding crystal lite doesn't help.
  #19  
Old 03-03-2007, 10:10 AM
CaerieD CaerieD is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmackFu
Any beer + v-8 combo, like the one above, smells horrible, looks like it came out of a toilet, and is almost undrinkable.

Adding crystal lite doesn't help.
It's good to know someone tried, just in case.
  #20  
Old 03-03-2007, 10:17 AM
Czarcasm Czarcasm is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darryl Lict
I remember Jolt! I saved a bunch of the bottles and used them for homebrew beer! I think the drink you describe was called either a speedball (John Belushi RIP) or a Flaming Moe.
You can still get it.
  #21  
Old 03-03-2007, 10:17 AM
ultrafilter ultrafilter is offline
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The barmat shooter:

At the end of an evening, take one barmat, and wring it out over a glass.
  #22  
Old 03-03-2007, 11:31 AM
Carl Corey Carl Corey is offline
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Two that I have seen:

Dewar's and grapefruit juice. Ugh.

The "whigila": whiskey, gin, and tequila.

You may go barf now.
  #23  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:02 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by jackelope
I once, in the dark days of August 1990, spent a (very) long night in the mountains of North Carolina drinking an unnamed cocktail that consisted of:
  • 1/3 Jolt Cola (remember Jolt Cola?)
  • 1/3 Captain Morgan's Rum
  • 1/3 Robitussin cough syrup
The practice is not recommended.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeschines
The Mummy

3 oz Orange Pedialyte
1 oz Sambuca
Dash of bitters
Cinammon stick
Smidge of nutmeg
Similarly not recommended, but if you replace the Pedialyte with Delsym, you might have a reason to drink that horrible-sounding concoction. I have heard...that's it....heard that Delsym isn't bad in small doses when added to a screwdriver...

This is the last time I'll post this, I promise, but my standard entry for this is the Death Ray:

1 part OJ
1 part Mountain Dew
1 part Bombay Sapphire

Only recommended if you need caffiene, want to get buzzed really quick, and don't have the fortitude to chug down straight liquor. The nastiness of the Dew and OJ combo will almost mask the strength of the drink.

On the plus side, it looks like a Death Ray: deep yellow that nearly shines through the glass. And if you serve it in a martini glass or with no alcohol it can be a 1920's style death ray
  #24  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:16 PM
Campion Campion is offline
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A tootsie roll: one part Kahlua, one part orange juice. The first sip tastes just like a tootsie roll. The sugar in subsequent sips will then overpower you until you want to die.
  #25  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:26 PM
Duke of Rat Duke of Rat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmackFu
Any beer + v-8 combo, like the one above, smells horrible, looks like it came out of a toilet, and is almost undrinkable.

Quote:
Originally Posted by CaerieD
It's good to know someone tried, just in case.
Man, red beer is a staple of the old guys (and gals) who start their mornings off at the bar. Usually just plain tomato juice, but V8 will work in a pinch (and yes, I've had V8 powered red beer, but I don't start my day off at the bar).
  #26  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:29 PM
Merkwurdigliebe Merkwurdigliebe is offline
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I really like this list, because most of them seem like drinks that maybe someone would like! I was hoping I wouldn't see the thread filled with ones that are designed to be undrinkable.

For the most barebones one, I'd suggest one I've made for someone. It's probably not gross at all. But a simple mix of sparkling water and vodka with a bit of lemon juice. Seems boring, but would get you drunk quickly. Sounds okay though...
  #27  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:32 PM
2pelo honey 2pelo honey is offline
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Actually, vodka, club soda, and lemon is one of my fav mixed drinks, usually ordered at weddings, or other similar parties.
  #28  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:35 PM
Merkwurdigliebe Merkwurdigliebe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DellieM
My poor dead mother actually once drank Brasso (used to clean copper, brass and other shiny objects in the house) strained through two slices of white bread. And also, apparently two eyedroppers of car battery acid in milk and called it "White Lady". Tragic, and possibly the worst cocktails ever thought of.

There is a comedian of some note (now gone to God also) who replied when asked "Do you like cocktails?" said "I love them - tell me some!"
You must be joking right? Is this why she'd dead now? Wikipedia says that it consists of "Liquid Hydrocarbons and Amonia" Although alcohol is a liquid hydrocarbon, so are loads of other nasty things.

And the worst thing I've ever tried? God this is so nasty...

I once tried mixing Jaegermeister and Coffee. It's really really awful. Don't try it please.
I also tried to make a dirty martini once with sweet vermouth. The sweet, sour was repulsive, not to mention there was no vodka in it. Yes...I had no clue.
  #29  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:37 PM
Helen's Eidolon Helen's Eidolon is offline
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This one is sometimes completely awful, and sometimes (so I'm told) pretty good. In Quebec, the state-run lotto is called the 649.

The 649:
1 part from the 6th bottle on the top shelf
1 part from the 4th bottle on the middle shelf
1 part from the 9th bottle on the bottom shelf.
  #30  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:39 PM
want2know want2know is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ultrafilter
The barmat shooter:

At the end of an evening, take one barmat, and wring it out over a glass.
According to Lewis Black, that's how they get Jagermeister.

In fact, anything involving Jager belongs in this thread!

Not very adventurous myself, drink-wise, though I have tried the beer-and-tomato-juice combo. Very popular among the older crowd in your less-fancy establishments here in Vegas--it tastes like ass.
  #31  
Old 03-03-2007, 12:52 PM
lokij lokij is offline
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My first post was a vintage mining camp concoction, I've never had the pleasure of drinking anything with boot polish in it. The worst thing I've ever personally drank wasn't a cocktail per se, I was doing shots of Jager and chasing them with glasses of pink champagne. Bad choice.
  #32  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:06 PM
2pelo honey 2pelo honey is offline
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Gagging over the Jag & Pink champagne...worse had to be the next day hangover???

Jag's not one of my fav's, but actually did have a halfway decent shooter made w/ it...called "Surfer's on Acid"...jag, coconut rum, and pineapple juice.
  #33  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:11 PM
ElvisL1ves ElvisL1ves is offline
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Sloe gin, Southern Comfort, orange juice and vodka, splash of Galliano:

Sloe comfortable screw up against the wall.
  #34  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:30 PM
Regallag_The_Axe Regallag_The_Axe is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by lokij
My first post was a vintage mining camp concoction, I've never had the pleasure of drinking anything with boot polish in it. The worst thing I've ever personally drank wasn't a cocktail per se, I was doing shots of Jager and chasing them with glasses of pink champagne. Bad choice.
In this same vein: 151 proof rum, chased with 100 proof vodka, chased with cheap whiskey, chased with a glass of wine, chased with a can of Bud.

My entry for worst cocktail? Amaretto & Gin. 1 shot amaretto, 2 shots gin. Not bad for it's taste, surprisingly, but bad for how drunk you can get off it. Because you don't realize that one of them is the equals three shots of 72 proof liquor.
__________________
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  #35  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:33 PM
Biggirl Biggirl is online now
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A drink me and my friends made up a long, long time ago.

Hawaiian Quinceanera
Hawaiian Punch
Beefeater's Gin

Mix in equal parts into large plastic tumbler. Barf.
  #36  
Old 03-03-2007, 01:42 PM
jlrepka jlrepka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by VCO3
"The Bluedriver"

Blue Kool-Aid and Vodka. Proceed directly to toilet. (yes, i did this one at age 20 or so).
I was on a Grand Canyon rafting trip a few years back, and we made bluedrivers with vodka and the juice from cans of blueberries. They weren't awful, especially after when the alternative was cheap beer and it was too early in the evening for straight shots...
  #37  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:02 PM
mazinger_z mazinger_z is offline
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Most of these sounds downright disgusting. I was going to add anything involving Jager, but someone already beat me to it. I will volunteer any of the "Old Man" drinks, which inlcudes but is not limted to the following: american highball, harvey wallbanger, rob roy, godfather, the manhattan, rust nail, black russian, that's all I can think about now.

Oh and ouzo = gasoline!
  #38  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:19 PM
Threadkiller Threadkiller is offline
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Saw this one a while back...

The Sinead O'connor

1 part Irish Whiskey
1 part Nair
  #39  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:48 PM
Weirddave Weirddave is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SmackFu
Any beer + v-8 combo, like the one above, smells horrible, looks like it came out of a toilet, and is almost undrinkable.

Adding crystal lite doesn't help.
Does adding Crystal Light to anything EVER help?
  #40  
Old 03-03-2007, 02:58 PM
Aeschines Aeschines is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ultrafilter
The barmat shooter:

At the end of an evening, take one barmat, and wring it out over a glass.
Dude, that is so fuckin' foul!


/|\



Can the above work as a puking smilie?!
  #41  
Old 03-03-2007, 03:17 PM
Szlater Szlater is offline
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I was in Calais about 14 years ago and stupidly ordered, what, atleast to my 17 year old brain, sounded like a great idea for a cocktail.

The TGV:

Double measures of Tequila, Gin and Vodka in a tall glass.

It was just about the most disgusting thing I've ever tasted. Didn't stop my friends ordering a second round though.

I reckon the world's worst cocktail, should you wish to invent it here, has to have as an ingredient: Picolax. Even just thinking about it makes me feel nauseas.
  #42  
Old 03-03-2007, 03:20 PM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
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As one drink enthusiast to another, I must say with all honesty: You guys scare me.

I have never had a disgusting cocktail before (never met one i didnt like? j/k), but I can make up a terrible cocktail off the top of my head though:

Sweaty Balkan Balls

2 parts Ouzo
1 part Kahlua
1 part Vodka
1 part lemonade

Put in microwave for 10 seconds and serve.

God, I feel sick just thinking about it.
  #43  
Old 03-03-2007, 04:17 PM
ultrafilter ultrafilter is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Aeschines
Dude, that is so fuckin' foul!


/|\



Can the above work as a puking smilie?!
Way I hear it, if you down one of those, declare it good and ask if they have another barmat, the bartender will cut you off (that really was something I heard--my days of drinking nasty shit ended before I could get into bars).
  #44  
Old 03-03-2007, 08:48 PM
Shoeless Shoeless is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Starving Artist
The Phillips Screwdriver

Vodka
Orange Juice
Phillips' Milk of Magnesia
How about "The Cheap Screw"?

Discount vodka + Sunny Delight (Tang would probably work too)
  #45  
Old 03-03-2007, 10:07 PM
badkittypriestess badkittypriestess is offline
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blue drink



Not sure what the hell this drink was but you can tell by the look on my face that it was nasty! This is my favorite picture of me. This was last year when we were in Playa Del Carmen. Mexican Fru-fru drinks should be avoided.
3-3 1/2 weeks until we go back!
  #46  
Old 03-03-2007, 11:56 PM
lokij lokij is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 2pelo honey
Gagging over the Jag & Pink champagne...worse had to be the next day hangover???

Jag's not one of my fav's, but actually did have a halfway decent shooter made w/ it...called "Surfer's on Acid"...jag, coconut rum, and pineapple juice.
The hangover was bad, not the worst I've ever had.. but getting sick that night... oh, that was the worst. Frothy BLACK puke. Awful.
  #47  
Old 03-04-2007, 01:14 AM
Crawlspace Crawlspace is offline
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Junior year of college I built our 3 room dorm apartment (6 guys) a bar. We threw a bunch of parties. Towards the end of every party one of our friends would start an open call for "The Blood of Christ" (it was a Jesuit College). Pretty much it was a mix of all the leftover shit liquor we served to the people we didn't know plus a few drops of red dye. I don't remember anything after that.
  #48  
Old 03-04-2007, 07:20 AM
Full Metal Lotus Full Metal Lotus is offline
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The blue jock

6 oz blue gatorade
2 asprin
2 oz everclear

disolove asprin in gatorade,, add everclear

for some reason, this seems to be either the dog that bit you, or the heir of the dog.

I cannot remember the last time i drank one of these, but according to lawyer, it was last tuesday...

regards
FML (currently waiting for bail bondsman)

Last edited by Full Metal Lotus; 03-04-2007 at 07:21 AM.
  #49  
Old 03-04-2007, 07:57 AM
2pelo honey 2pelo honey is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Crawlspace
Junior year of college I built our 3 room dorm apartment (6 guys) a bar. We threw a bunch of parties. Towards the end of every party one of our friends would start an open call for "The Blood of Christ" (it was a Jesuit College). Pretty much it was a mix of all the leftover shit liquor we served to the people we didn't know plus a few drops of red dye. I don't remember anything after that.

Ack...had a friend who did that to us several years ago, except he started throwing all of it into a big jar that the Sangria batch had been in, and I think he put some Rose's Lime Juice in as well.
He called it "Blow Lunch Punch"...and, we drank it.
  #50  
Old 03-04-2007, 08:16 AM
even sven even sven is offline
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The Stuntman.

Get Tequila, lime and salt.

Throw the salt over your shoulder, squeeze the lime in your eyes, and drink the shot.

This one is always a big hit at parties.
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