Murdered friends, relatives and co-workers

[Nava]

Originally Posted by Tapiotar

This is one of the most shocking and disheartening stories I've ever heard. The reaction of the girl's mother is horrible, too.

Shouldn't schools be teaching ethics, empathy, and compassion?

Those are supposed to start at home. In the words of a wise woman, "I expect schools to teach my children, but it's me who's got the job of raising them."



I vaguely knew someone who survived a murder attempt by ETA and someone else who spent time in jail for belonging to ETA's support structure; I've also known several people who commited suicide. No succesful murders, though.

[Mosier]

The closest I have been to a murder victim was at my wife's church, back when we were still dating. A man in the congregation killed his wife and kids in the house, and then evaded police. He's still wanted now, over a decade later. I don't know any of the victims' names.

[CairoCarol]

We're fairly certain my step-grandmother was murdered, or at the very least was the victim of a sleazy operator who did nothing to help her in extremis.

My father was her stepson and only child of any kind. They were not close, but he made regular duty visits to her and did his best to "go through the motions" as a son (she married his father when he was 12). In the 2-3 years before her death at age 77, she had become quite taken with a young "gardener" who spent lots of time with her and got into her good graces. He had connections to England, that's about all we know about him from our distant relationship.

Although she was in good health for a woman her age, one day my grandmother was found dead of heart failure in her kitchen.

Before the body was found, but AFTER she seemed to have died/been in her death throes, there were phone records showing telephone calls to the UK from her house.

She left a lot of her substantial wealth to the gardener. My dad got nothing - though we aren't the kind of people that get upset over that. I was raised to believe that you should not expect any inheritance; a good thing, since none of that grandmother's money will ever reach me!

The evidence is circumstantial, but it seems likely that: gardener gained grandmother's trust and made sure he was prominent in her will; gardener, perhaps with help from a UK-based accomplice, found way to do her in; gardener called accomplice in UK while my grandmother was dying or dead.

It's such a creepy story and I wish I were in a position to force the issue. But my grandmother had no advocates; for my dad, it was the end of a long sad family relationship and he just wanted out. I don't know if anyone spoke to the police about this or if they ever investigated.

I think there is a good chance somebody got away with murder.

[JoseB]

Around Christmas 2009 (the exact date is not known) a colleague of mine, a fellow patent examiner at the European Patent Office, was brutally murdered in his own home in Rijswijk, The Netherlands.

He was Italian, and in the end it came out that the murder had been arranged by his estranged wife, who hired two goons to get rid of her husband. He was apparently about to obtain a divorce cutting her out of everything (it seems that the wife was a rather nasty piece of work). A really sad story; the guy was nice, if a bit eccentric.

In the meantime, it was fascinating to see a lot of newspapers and news outlets (not to mention tons of websites of the "conspiranoid" persuasion) that promoted my colleage to head of the E.P.O., made him into a famous nuclear physicist who was on the verge of some momentous discovery (he had a bee in his bonnet about Einstein's theory of special relativity being wrong, and had written some articles about it, but that was it), and speculated on whether the C.I.A. or the Mossad had had him whacked to prevent him from disclosing something tremendous about nuclear weaponry and what have you.

This is the only person relatively close to me that was murdered.

I know other people who killed themselves, including a friend at the University who I am almost certain died during a session of autoerotic asphyxiation gone awry.

Although I have a cousin who is a criminal, a conman and an all-around not recommendable guy... He is also tremendously inept, and I am half-expecting that one day he will be killed because he got involved in something that was too big for him.

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by JoseB

<< snipping a very well-told story >>

Although I have a cousin who is a criminal, a conman and an all-around not recommendable guy... He is also tremendously inept, and I am half-expecting that one day he will be killed because he got involved in something that was too big for him.

This might make for an OP in a spinoff thread about "disreputable relatives" and the like. To my best knowledge I'm not kin to any heinous criminals, but I do have some shady characters and people I wouldn't lend money to among my bloodline and in-law collection. And as for folks I know -- but am not kin to -- I could share some grisly stories!

I'll leave it to somebody else to start such a thread.

[Who_me?]

I used to hang with a rough crowd, so I've known maybe 4 or 5 people who were murdered, plus one girl who survived a night after being tossed into a dumpster with her skull broken. The one I knew the best was the survivor, but she was never right afterwards due to brain damage.

[Zsofia]

I'm really shocked at this thread - it does seem like I live a much more sheltered life than I realized.

I have known, in a nodding acquaintance sort of way, a few homeless library patrons who have been killed in fights and such.

It's possible that my half-brother murdered his wife, although there's no proof.

I did, I'm sure, wave often at a guy in a house across the street when I was running or walking my dog who turned out to be a classic sociopath who murdered a well-loved local teacher, but I don't think that counts as I never met her and I don't think I ever spoke to the guy.

[Kinthalis]

The brother of a childhood friend is still in jail serving a life sentence for murdering a transient girl.

A girl who had a crush on me in high School, and who I basically used to make my girl friend at the time jealous, was murdered about 5 years ago by her John. Apparently she had started on a downward spiral of drugs and prostitution a few years after I last saw her.

[Jaymosch]

Originally Posted by Zebra

My father. Well the man responsible was allowed to plea bargain to manslaughter.

Exactly my situation too, although in our case the prosecutor made sure the family would be okay with a manslaughter plea (we were, we didn't want to have to go through a trial).

All I can say is that it's a very surreal experience to be caught up in.

[Death of Rats]

My then-Gf's cousin was gunned down in parking lot in a drug deal gone bad.
A girl I was friendly with, but not really friends with in high school was kidnapped and murdered by an ex-boyfriend a few years after we graduated.

[SnakesCatLady]

A good friend's 13 year old son was murdered by another 13 year old, in front of his (the victim's) twin brother. Apparently there had not been a fight or anything, my friend's son was lying on the floor on the phone chatting with his girlfriend when the kid walked up and shot him point blank in the chest. I don't know if the kid knew if the gun was loaded or not; apparently he stole it from a relative.

One of the many things that pissed me off about this was the attitude of the hospital where the child was taken. He was DOA, This hospital did NOTHING for the mother of a murdered 13 year old. Did not offer counseling, did not offer a sedative, nothing.

A friend and I were supposed to meet my friend and her boyfriend to throw darts that night. When we got to the bar and heard there had been an accident with one of her children, we went straight to her house.

They were just getting back from the hospital. She, quite understandably, was in hysterics. I sent my friend to the store for a bottle of Nyquil.

[BobLibDem]

My six year old cousin was outside playing near his house near a ball field under construction. He was grabbed by a monster who strangled him and then bashed his head in with a cement block. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity and wound up getting released from the mental hospital and walks the streets to this day, 40 years later.

[Green Rosetta]

Originally Posted by BobLibDem

My six year old cousin was outside playing near his house near a ball field under construction. He was grabbed by a monster who strangled him and then bashed his head in with a cement block. He was found not guilty by reason of insanity and wound up getting released from the mental hospital and walks the streets to this day, 40 years later.

Every one of these stories is heartbreaking, but this in particular affected me. If I were with you right now, I'd give you a hug.

My grandparents had the same neighbors for over 50 years- their children grew up with my mother and my aunts and uncles. They had always been a part of my life, though not especially close- we went to the same church, they were around for major events like weddings and funerals, etc. They were both shot in their home about ten years ago. It was ruled a robbery (their car was stolen too and later recovered) and the person the police believe did it was later murdered himself.

Last year a friend of mine through theatre/music stuff (he had played piano for a few shows I did and I had been to his house a handful of times- he was the most talented musician I've ever met) was murdered by one of his tenants. He had given him several chances to pay the rent, then had to evict him; the guy broke into his house and beat him to death, then apparently stayed there and drank for a few hours before taking a shower and dressing himself in John's clothes.

[An Gadaí]

Nobody I've ever personally known has been murdered. The closest connected to me I can think of would be my brother-in-law's uncle, murdered in the 1970s in the Troubles in Northern Ireland, or a neighbour of my uncle's, murdered in the Omagh bombing.

[Tapiotar]

Originally Posted by Nava

Those are supposed to start at home. In the words of a wise woman, "I expect schools to teach my children, but it's me who's got the job of raising them."

Well yes, that's ideal, but clearly that girl's mother wasn't capable.

We (society) need some good, secular training in meditation and compassion to build up the prefrontal cortex and increase empathy.

[eclectic wench]

A girl I went to school with was murdered by terrorists when she was eleven, although I'm sure they'd call it an act of war or something. Another girl I went to school with disappeared in her early twenties; no one knows what happened, but it looks like murder.

[Absolute]

I've lived in various places throughout the US. I cannot think of anyone who's been murdered that I knew personally or professionally, even remotely.

A few suicides and accidental deaths, but no murders.

[Invisible Chimp]

I had a neighbor shot and killed, directly below the window I was sleeping near. He was walking down the path to our apartment parking lot at 7AM on his way to work when a guy in a hoodie emptied a whole clip into him. It woke me up, obviously. I didn't see anything, but the neighbors across the street saw the shooter fleeing the scene. I did see the body shortly thereafter. There was surprisingly little blood. His roommate showed up right afterward and stumbled on the body.

[Filbert]

I don't know anyone who was successfully murdered, but one of my half-cousins made a serious attempt at killing his little brother when he was about 7. Planned, and very nearly carried out; we are not talking normal sibling interaction here. The little one, aged about 4, spent some time in hospital, but the older one didn't really even get in any trouble, I don't think. That was one messed up family.

They're suprisingly OK now, in their mid to late teens, after being in seperate care homes since their mother killed herself the year after the incident.

[Scumpup]

I've been teaching since 1985. As much as I might want to, I cannot unfuck these kids in 45 minutes a day while simultaneously covering the mandated subject material. It took generations of poverty, drug abuse, inbreeding, and crime to produce them.

[Nancarrow]

Jesus, people, this thread is fucking depressing! C'mon, let's make with the HAPPY murder stories already.

Originally Posted by Invisible Chimp

I had a neighbor shot and killed, directly below the window I was sleeping near.

Now that's more like it. Loud music at 3am? Pet cat shitting once too often on your doorstep? Ah, who cares, you were proactive and that's the main thing.

[mhendo]

One of my best friends from high school was killed in the 2002 Bali nightclub bombing. He was there on an end-of-season rugby trip.

We stayed in pretty frequent contact for the first ten years or so after school, but had fallen out of touch over the few years preceding the bombing.

[Miller]

The ex-stepfather of a friend of mine fell off the wagon again and was sleeping in Golden Gate Park when someone beat him to death with a baseball bat. The prevailing theory is that someone wanted to kill a person, and figured no one would miss a homeless guy.

Not someone I knew personally, but the sister of my boyfriend's best friend was murdered by her husband, in front of their young children. The nauseating part is that her parents support the husband, on the grounds that if she'd been a better wife, he wouldn't have had to shoot her.

[Zebra]

Oh and I forgot. I to HS with a woman who was killed at the OKC bombing. We were friends in school but we were not in touch when that happened.

[Two Many Cats]

I had a best friend in elementary school. We parted ways. I hadn't heard from her in about twenty years, when I heard on the news that she had been murdered while delivering pizza by a guy with a hammer.

She was substituting on the job for her son. Horrible.

[Rachellelogram]

A girl in my sister's grade (so, one year behind me) was murdered when she was 19. She rode to school on the same bus we did. She was friends with a guy who was friends with a drug dealer, and they were having a small party in the dealer's house (just alcohol, so I've heard). It was just 5 young people ranging in age from 19 to 23. She didn't do drugs herself, apparently. But a rival drug dealer got tired of this guy honing in on "his" turf, and picked that night to crash the party with 2 friends. They shot all 5 attendees. 2 survived, but the girl I knew died along with 2 other people (neither of whom I knew). She was just in the wrong place at the wrong time, she was a really nice person and a hard worker.

The dealer (only 22 years old) was sentenced to 270 years, served consecutively. He was supposed to be on an episode of America's Most Wanted, but turned himself in before that point (he has never admitted guilt, and still claims he's innocent). One of his accomplices got 175 years, and the other ratted them both out in exchange for a 45-year sentence.

[PunditLisa]

A girl I knew (I hung out with her brother) in college, was jogging in an affluent part of the city, when, out of the blue, a psychologically disturbed teenager stabbed her. The injuries weren't life threatening on their own, but she went into shock on the way to the hospital, and died. Her family is incredible. They've turned her death into a charity run whose foundation supports Make-A-Wish kids. And they've publicly forgiven her murderer.

http://www.reggaerun.com/history.html
http://www.enquirer.com/editions/200...c_downs01.html

I also used to work for the mayor of a small municipality. Many years after I quit working there, he was murdered by a neighbor who went on a killing rampage for reasons unknown. It's theorized that the mayor refused to lend him his truck (because he wanted to go get drugs?) and that set the guy off. He murdered the Mayor and his long-term girlfriend in their bed, set their house on fire, then went off and murdered his ex sister-in-law. Bizarro.

[picunurse]

My nursing supervisor, a sweet, funny scatter-brain, who, more than once, showed up at work with shoes that didn't match, was beaten to death by her husband.
One never would have guessed she was in such a relationship. She worked in a major trauma center. She was responsible for finding shelter and councelling for domestic violence victims.

[Stelios]

Originally Posted by picunurse

I worked closely with a woman whose son was shot in the head by an 11 year old girl who wanted to play with his video game.

She told him she would shoot him if he didn't give it to her. She climbed onto a closet shelf to get the gun, then got the key to a cabinet in the garage to get the bullets, loaded the gun then came back to the room, put the barrel to his head and shot him. She told all this to the investigators. She also told them she knew he would die, and that's what she wanted. She said he should have shared.

She spent 16 weeks in juvie. At her sentencing, her mother yelled at my friend, "Look what you've done to my baby girl!"

It still makes me sick to my stomach.

My God, that is amazing and horrifying.

[Eliahna]

Thankfully I can't answer in the affirmative, but I have sat in the kitchen of a killer and chatted with him, unaware that the remains of his wife were buried a few feet away under his garage. She was found a few years later, and he was convicted of manslaughter, IIRC, and served about 4 years.

Also, my friend's grandparents died in a murder suicide before she was born.

[Zeldar]

Originally Posted by Eliahna

Thankfully I can't answer in the affirmative, but I have sat in the kitchen of a killer and chatted with him, unaware that the remains of his wife were buried a few feet away under his garage. She was found a few years later, and he was convicted of manslaughter, IIRC, and served about 4 years.

Also, my friend's grandparents died in a murder suicide before she was born.

That's spooky!

[OleOneEye]

Originally Posted by picunurse

I worked closely with a woman whose son was shot in the head by an 11 year old girl who wanted to play with his video game.

She told him she would shoot him if he didn't give it to her. She climbed onto a closet shelf to get the gun, then got the key to a cabinet in the garage to get the bullets, loaded the gun then came back to the room, put the barrel to his head and shot him. She told all this to the investigators. She also told them she knew he would die, and that's what she wanted. She said he should have shared.

She spent 16 weeks in juvie. At her sentencing, her mother yelled at my friend, "Look what you've done to my baby girl!"

It still makes me sick to my stomach.

(Hijack)
Do you have a link to a news story about this? I'd like to read more about it. How long ago did it happen? 16 weeks, really? I knew this region was soft on criminals, but damn..

[picunurse]

Originally Posted by OleOneEye

(Hijack)
Do you have a link to a news story about this? I'd like to read more about it. How long ago did it happen? 16 weeks, really? I knew this region was soft on criminals, but damn..

It was several years ago. Also, my friend asked that it not be publized. There may have been something, but I never saw it.
In the '90s Seattle had a lot of gun related deaths and injuries. They didn't all get coverage.

[aruvqan]

We had a lovely friend Liaden. She camped with us at Pennsic every summer for years, played folk fiddle and guitar, had a 20ish year old son and was divorced. Literally a happy, jolly woman, not the greatest job - it paid enough to keep her and let her come to Pennsic every summer for her 2 week vacation. She met a man, a 'Reverend' with no actual church, and within a month was married. Suddenly she dropped out of sight, every time we called any of the numbers for her, he answered and no matter what time we called, she wasn't there. We finally managed to contact her son after almost a year of trying to get in touch with her. It turns out that this 'Reverend' married her, they sold everything she owned except her chevy s10 and moved from Oklahoma to southern Texas where she suddenly 'died'. The husband had her cremated and buried, and the only thing her death certificate states is 'heart failure' which for a woman who was perfectly healthy is somewhat odd. The 'Reverend' refuses to talk with the son, or us. Just after she married the guy, she reassigned her insurance policies to him so he walked out with over $750 000 in insurance money.

Last company I worked for, one of the ladies in customer service was killed by her live in baby daddy and another lady I worked in contract compliance with had a brother shot in a drive by that was actually meant for someone else.

And the lovely lady who was the broker for selling us the farm was dealing with the trial of the guy who murdered her daughter about the same time we were house hunting. Sort of caused a few sort of randomized delays as the lawyers were calling her for various things.

[Zebra]

Originally Posted by Jaymosch

Exactly my situation too, although in our case the prosecutor made sure the family would be okay with a manslaughter plea (we were, we didn't want to have to go through a trial).

All I can say is that it's a very surreal experience to be caught up in.

Oh yes they talked to us about it to us. Actually the guy's lawyer thought he could have got him off but he felt the man was insane so he said the guy should plea down and get "probation" which is what happened.

I got to read the autopsy report. That was weird.

[nonacetone]

About 15 years ago, I worked with a lovely, 20-something year old woman. She didn't show up for work one day. We figured something had to be wrong, because she was never late, and she didn't call to let our boss know she would be late. But, we thought that maybe she had a hard time finding a babysitter, or that her daughter was ill.
Since it was a small office, one of our other co-workers went to her house to check on her, about two hours after she should have been there.

Our co-worker arrived to find the front door wide open. She went inside, and found our friend stabbed to death. Her 2 year old little girl was sitting on the kitchen floor, next to her mother's body, giving her kisses, and trying to wake her up. It was heart-breaking. Our co-worker had to have therapy to get past that one.

This woman's husband is the one that stabbed her to death, in front of their little daughter. The police officers took her husband into custody, when he brazenly walked right past the house, when the ambulance was taking our friend's body away. The neighbors saw him, and told the police, who then grabbed him.

The police detectives talked to all of us, since we were all good friends, and we told them about how we had been recently trying to get her to take their daughter, and just walk away, to get out of her abusive situation. But, she refused.

I have no idea how long her husband is supposed to be in prison. Hopefully, he'll never see freedom, again.

[GuanoLad]

We had a family acquaintance, actually someone we didn't like very much and couldn't shake off, who was in a bar brawl and was killed. It was manslaughter, and the guy got off with a really light sentence, I seem to recall.

[Donnerwetter]

Originally Posted by aruvqan

We had a lovely friend Liaden. She camped with us at Pennsic every summer for years, played folk fiddle and guitar, had a 20ish year old son and was divorced. Literally a happy, jolly woman, not the greatest job - it paid enough to keep her and let her come to Pennsic every summer for her 2 week vacation. She met a man, a 'Reverend' with no actual church, and within a month was married. Suddenly she dropped out of sight, every time we called any of the numbers for her, he answered and no matter what time we called, she wasn't there. We finally managed to contact her son after almost a year of trying to get in touch with her. It turns out that this 'Reverend' married her, they sold everything she owned except her chevy s10 and moved from Oklahoma to southern Texas where she suddenly 'died'. The husband had her cremated and buried, and the only thing her death certificate states is 'heart failure' which for a woman who was perfectly healthy is somewhat odd. The 'Reverend' refuses to talk with the son, or us. Just after she married the guy, she reassigned her insurance policies to him so he walked out with over $750 000 in insurance money.

Call me naive, but isn't this the kind of case police detectives should be all over? Did the son talk to law enforcement?

[Eyebrows 0f Doom]

Originally Posted by Brynda

Donnerwetter, don't think this is representative at all. I have lived all over the US for 50 years without knowing anyone who was murdered.

Yeah. I live in New York City and I can't think of a single person I have ever met who I know has been murdered. Certainly no family members or friends.

[aruvqan]

Originally Posted by Donnerwetter

Call me naive, but isn't this the kind of case police detectives should be all over? Did the son talk to law enforcement?

The son tried but was told that his mother was an adult and could basically do anything she wanted as long as it wasn't illegal.

Apparently selling everything and dropping out of sight is 'normal' behavior, especially if you marry someone you have only known for 30 days, drop contact with everybody you know, quit your job and sell everything off for cash and then move with the stranger to a different state and move into a cheap motel. No idea what housing in Tulsa tends to cost, but the guy got the price of the house and furniture in addition to her bank account and life insurance. Of course none of that is suspicious behavior ...

[interface2x]

A former good friend of mine was beaten to death with "the club" my senior year in high school ... another girl I knew in high school was allegedly killed by serial killer while traveling (the killer has never been found) ... my first girlfriend's older brother was accidentally killed when a guy punched him in the back of the head ... a guy I worked with at my last company was gunned down in the street because he looked like some other guy. So yeah, a few.

My boss at my first job out of college was also convicted in 2007 of stabbing his wife a bunch of times and beating her head in with a hammer.

[Ruffian]

I teach middle school in a rather rough area: A man was murdered (killed when he and the driver of the car got in an argument that resulted in both men getting literally all stabby) right on the street in front of our campus during school hours. What's darkly amusing to me is how nonchalant the staff (and community) were about it. Since the perp was injured and couldn't run away, he was immediately apprehended, and no one was in danger. It was just an odd inconvenience as the road in front of the school was closed during investigation, so we had to direct students, buses, and parents to another corner of the campus for exiting when the bell rang. Funny to me how we weren't particularly upset by it--but if it had happened in another zip code, you know parents, kids, teachers, etc. would be shaken by it.

Obviously I didn't know that person, and while some of my campus alumni have been killed in gang warfare (or are in jail for it), none of them were my own former students. I did have one--a sweet, hardworking, quiet boy--whose neighbor turned out to be mentally ill. Neighbor went nuts during an argument with his mother, shot and killed her, then went next door, crawled through the master bedroom window, and shot and killed my former student's mother and 4yro little sister, who were hiding in the bedroom while the father went through the front door to investigate the gunshots. Crazy neighbor then riddled my student (16 at the time) with bullets, putting the kid on life support for months. The 9yro sister was only grazed. Crazy neighbor then went outside to the middle of the street, placed the gun down, and waited for the police to come pick him up.

Good kid. Fuck, still chokes me up. I went to a couple of the fundraisers for the family, sending notes to the kid via his father's work (he managed a car wash), before the boy healed enough for the father to understandably pack up his two remaining children and moving 20min away.

One of my then-current students lived across the street. She was apologetic and worried in the morning: "Mrs. Ruffian, I couldn't get my homework because the police wouldn't let me back in the house." Um...it's okay, sweetie. You're excused.

[Hari Seldon]

I've known two. One was a friend of my parents who owned a hardware store and was bludgeoned to death during a robbery. Never caught anyone. The other was an especially sad case. The son of a good friend was an AP photographer and doing his thing in Sierra Leone. He was in a car with another man and they stopped by a local soldier who just for the hell of it shot them both the other guy survived, but my friend's son (whom I knew, but not well) died instantly. Tragically my friend's other child died of breast cancer a couple years later. Both children were under 40. The wife (they are divorced) now spends her whole life caring for the daughter's three children.

[CanvasShoes]

My aunt on my mom's side. She was a battered wife and her husband finally took her out and shot her (after somewhere around 20 years of marriage). He threw her body in the back of the pick up and brought her back home. He then went inside and got his oldest daughter, brought her out to the pick up, pointed at her mom and said "This is what happens to people who don't listen to me".

This was in Georgia, deep south Georgia, in the 1970s and he wasn't in jail all that long (~5 years IIRC). I'd have to ask my mom for the exact details, but that's the basic gist. I was about 13 or 14 at the time and I remember that they told me she'd been in a car accident. They didn't tell us (my sister and me) the truth until we were in our late teens/early 20s.

Awful awful thing.

[dropzone]

The father of my best friend when I was three hired a guy to kill his wife. It probably helped make me the creep I am today inspire some of my odder interests.