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Old 06-27-2019, 10:37 AM
DrDeth is offline
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"Creepy men" at Walmart


There's a post going around the interwebs, from a woman, who suggests, apparently seriously, that if there is a "creepy man" at Walmart, rather than complain to management, instead the woman should: spray cooking oil in his face, choke him out with a belt and/or hit him in the head with a can of beans.

Now, at now time was this mythical and alleged "creepy guy" doing anything other than perhaps following her around. And being "creepy" is not a crime.

But assault? Going to jail for a year? Because your "creep-o-meter" went off?

Women, men who look "creepy" arent as dangerous as the guys who don't.

It's ain't that unshaven "creepy" dude in the smelly overcoat that going to rape your daughter, it's that "great guy" who is your daughter's swim coach. Stats back me out- it's not "stranger danger' it is a man you know and trust.

And violence for alleged "creepyness" is wrong and illegal. But still, this little meme is being applauded like crazy: "PREACH SISTER!" "This Lady just won the internet" "Love, love love".


Something is wrong here.
  #2  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:02 AM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
There's a post going around the interwebs, from a woman, who suggests, apparently seriously, that if there is a "creepy man" at Walmart, rather than complain to management, instead the woman should: spray cooking oil in his face, choke him out with a belt and/or hit him in the head with a can of beans.
Um, cite?

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth
Something is wrong here.
Yes: namely, you're starting a thread to complain about something that you allege exists but providing no cite for it. There may be something else wrong in this situation as well, but we can't tell until you fix the first problem.

Last edited by Kimstu; 06-27-2019 at 11:03 AM.
  #3  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:12 AM
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You can find it yourself if you like. But it was from a private person, not a celebrity so I am not posting her name. And it's been shared and shared again, so the provenance is weak.

Does it matter?


"Go grab a can of green beans and smack the dude in the face" is a actual quote.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:16 AM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
You can find it yourself if you like.
Where, please? I have googled "creepy men Walmart" and not identified anything that's obviously the "post going around the interwebs" that you're talking about.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth
Does it matter?
Well, yes: if we're going to have an opinion about something, we need to know what that something actually is, not just your summary and selected quotes from that something.

Edit: Is this what you're talking about?
Quote:
It I see one more “I was followed at such n such Walmart by some creepy dude", I swear I‘m going to lose my shit. If yall women dont learn how to turn around in aisle 13 and ask a mf what his problem is,. Call the police while in the store. All this "I went up to an associate. I spoke to a manager.“ Tf. They dont get hazard pay for that mess. Go grab a can of green beans and smack the dude in the face. Spray him in the eyes with some cooking spray. Choke him with a belt from the accessory aisle. Anything. SOMETHING. Then post that. Yall act like you're helpless. WE'RE NOT HELPLESS." #repost I mean I carry, but even if you don't, you got a whole store of weapons at your disposal. Better beep bop, meep mop the floor with that man.
If so, my opinion is that the speaker was not being entirely serious in her recommendations.

Last edited by Kimstu; 06-27-2019 at 11:19 AM.
  #5  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:18 AM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
Does it matter?
We have no way of knowing whether or not the "advice" is serious and you're not exactly a reliable narrator.

Last edited by Skywatcher; 06-27-2019 at 11:20 AM.
  #6  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:23 AM
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Now, at now time was this mythical and alleged "creepy guy" doing anything other than perhaps following her around. And being "creepy" is not a crime.
Just so I'm following -- this is both "mythical" and "alleged," and you allow that maybe whoever this guy is, he was following a female stranger around. But you still know enough to come to his defense, in that he didn't commit any crimes and everyone else who is talking about responding to him is doing something wrong enough for you to comment on it?

In other words, this is a real enough event for you to be offended at the mistreatment this poor guy is receiving via words on the internet, but not real enough for you to have to actually ascribe any wrongdoing to him or even provide any information about what he did in the first place. Or provide any means by which anybody else could judge.

Do you think that's significant at all to reaching your conclusion?
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:23 AM
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I read Kimstu's cited quote and in my head I heard it in Wanda Sykes's voice. Obviously just a bit of social commentary told with a dash of humor and hyperbole. Use your critical thinking skills, please.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:25 AM
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Originally Posted by Kimstu View Post
...
Edit: Is this what you're talking about?


If so, my opinion is that the speaker was not being entirely serious in her recommendations.
Yes, that it, and yes according to followers she is being taken as serious.

If I, as a man, made a similar "not being entirely serious " post on Twitter or whatever, I'd be castigated, and rightly so.
  #9  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:26 AM
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Creepy looking guys rarely set off my creep-o-meter. Creepy acting guys do. And my first thought is "Get the Hell Away From Them." If that is not possible, I get ready to talk my way out of it, or to beat the crap out of them in a surprise attack.
  #10  
Old 06-27-2019, 11:27 AM
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Just so I'm following -- this is both "mythical" and "alleged," and you allow that maybe whoever this guy is, he was following a female stranger around. But you still know enough to come to his defense, in that he didn't commit any crimes and everyone else who is talking about responding to him is doing something wrong enough for you to comment on it?

In other words, this is a real enough event for you to be offended at the mistreatment this poor guy is receiving via words on the internet, but not real enough for you to have to actually ascribe any wrongdoing to him or even provide any information about what he did in the first place. Or provide any means by which anybody else could judge.

Do you think that's significant at all to reaching your conclusion?
No criminal offenses were alleged by the 'creep".

If she had made up a crime that "creepy" guy was doing, fine, then you can make up ways to get back. If she had said some guy grabbed her, then fine, go for the can of beans or whatever. But being "creepy" is not a crime. And it's entirely in your head.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:29 AM
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We have no way of knowing whether or not the "advice" is serious and you're not exactly a reliable narrator.
You can see the post above and it matches what I said.

You can take " you're not exactly a reliable narrator" personal insult and but it where the sun dont shine.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:29 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth
Now, at now time was this mythical and alleged "creepy guy" doing anything other than perhaps following her around. And being "creepy" is not a crime.

But assault? Going to jail for a year? Because your "creep-o-meter" went off?

Women, men who look "creepy" arent as dangerous as the guys who don't.
A further opinion: I think it's possible that you're getting your knickers in a bunch about this one (apparently) viral post that you happened to see, while being unaware of the sorts of posts it was responding to, such as this one:
Quote:
I had to go to Walmart one day and I had no choice but to take my 5 year old and 1 year old daughters along.

I was pretty distracted dealing with my 5 year old [...] but I had noticed a man in the same aisles as us for a while, which I brushed off as a coincidence. We got to the candy aisle and was looking at something on the shelf, when I turned around the man was right behind me, like his face was probably in my hair... still I wanted to believe the best and said I'm sorry as I assumed I was in his way. I noticed someone with a walkie talkie tell him to come with him... still being naive I assumed he was stealing.

I paid for my items and went to leave when I was stopped by loss prevention/ security and asked to come with them, which was scary and embarrassing, I knew I hadn't stolen anything so I assumed my kids had pocketed something.

The person who pulled me into the room said "you're not in any trouble, but I really think You need to know what was going on. Did you notice the man following you" I said "yeah I mean I saw someone near us but I assumed it was a coincidence"
They asked to make sure I didn't know the man and it wasn't some weird sex thing.

Then they informed me the man had been following me and my kids around masturbating, they didn't know why me or if he was interested in me or in my girls.

I was HORRIFIED.

They informed me the man had been banned from the store and they walked me to my car to make sure we left safely. I don't know why they didn't call the police and in hindsight I should have, I was just so freaked out and wanted to get me and my kids home safely.
Or this one:
Quote:
Anyway, it was like 1130 at night and I realized my daughter was out of formula. [...]

In the baby aisle, I grabbed her formula and stopped to look at a cute dress for her. I was looking through the baby clothes when I saw someone out of the corner of my eye and I felt the hairs on my arm stand up. I glanced at him, and then did a double take - this man was standing there, just staring at me. He didn't seem to be bothered by the fact that I noticed him. I did this weird nervous fake laugh and said something like, "Oh, these are so cute huh?"

He didn't say anything, just kind of smirked, and kept staring. The dude was like a few inches taller than me, maybe 5'9, white, with long hair and he looked either homeless or severely down on his luck. He had one hand on the crotch of his pants, kind of nonchalantly, like it just rested there. He was maybe six feet away from me. I started to get nervous and felt my palms start sweating. I said something dumb about have a good night and just kind of fast walked away, but in my haste to get away from him I turned left toward the back of the store. I decided to grab a twelve pack of coke zero, in addition to the formula, and then decided to get out of there - I hadn't grabbed a cart so I couldn't really carry much more.

On my way back to the front of the store I heard him shuffling behind me, keeping pace with my speed walking. I tried to call myself down and write it off as him just also going to check out. I got into the ten items or less line. He got in line behind me. He had no items but he pulled a candy bar off the shelf and set it on the counter behind my stuff.

At this point I could smell him and he stank like body odor and stale beer. I turned my head away from him and tried to move a little closer to the woman in front of me. He moved closer too. Then I felt something brush my left butt cheek. I turned towards him sharply and said, "Hey!" He mumble an apology. Keep in mind, I am wearing jeans and a baggy tee shirt - not that it should matter but I looked like crap, is what I'm trying to get at. I turned back towards the counter and the cashier started ringing up my two items. Two seconds later, the man pinched my OTHER butt cheek. Hard.

At this point, I turned around and said very loudly, "HEY! STOP TOUCHING MY ASS!" He turned red and the cashier froze. She asked if there was a problem. "Yes," I replied. "This guy just pinched my butt, and I don't know him, and he's creeping me out."

She looked unsure of what to do and asked him to please step away from me before she called security. He did, wordlessly, and then just stood there glaring daggers at me. I pretended I didn't notice and paid for my things. As soon as she bagged up the stuff, I booked it out of the store.

I got maybe ten steps into the parking lot when I heard the doors open behind me. Panicking, I turned and saw him marching directly toward me. I bolted. My car was two lanes away and I yanked out my keys and unlocked it while I ran. I could hear him behind me, grunting and painting. I felt adrenaline kick in and tears in my eyes.I ran, swinging the bag and the case of soda, flung myself into the drivers seat and turned the key in the ignition before the door even shut. I threw it in reverse without looking just as he slammed his body onto the hood of my car and yelled something. I pealed out of the lot at almost thirty miles an hour and he flew off my hood and into the ground, and I drove the mile home going well over the limit, breathing hard and feeling like I was going to hyperventilate.
For the record, I am personally opposed to initiating unprovoked violence against fellow customers, with guns, cans of green beans, cooking spray or anything else. But if you think that the belligerent tone of that viral post was just gratuitous aggressiveness that came out of nowhere in response to completely innocent behavior on the part of unfairly stigmatized "creepy" men, then you may need to take your head out of your ass.

Last edited by Kimstu; 06-27-2019 at 11:30 AM.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:29 AM
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DrDeth, you sound like some guy who is afraid that if they try and cop a feel on the trolley, might get stuck with a hatpin.

I find it hilarious that we can shoot black teenagers in this country because we feel threatened, but put out a hypothetical where a guy follows a woman around in the store and if she clocks you with a can of green beans "oh, the humanity! It isn't fair. He was just innocently following her through the store."
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:33 AM
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Originally Posted by Kimstu View Post
A further opinion: I think it's possible that you're getting your knickers in a bunch about this one (apparently) viral post that you happened to see, while being unaware of the sorts of posts it was responding to, such as this one:


Or this one:


For the record, I am personally opposed to initiating unprovoked violence against fellow customers, with guns, cans of green beans, cooking oil spray or anything else. But if you think that the belligerent tone of that viral post was just gratuitous aggressiveness that came out of nowhere in response to completely innocent behavior on the part of unfairly stigmatized "creepy" men, then you may need to take your head out of your ass.
That's nice, but nothing like that was attached in any way shape or form to the meme I saw- shared twice today on FB, and several times elsewhere.

If I man commits a assault, of course you can & should defend yourself. But no where in the meme was there any crime besides being 'creepY", which is entirely subjective.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:37 AM
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Yes, that it, and yes according to followers she is being taken as serious.
And you know those followers are serious...how?
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:38 AM
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DrDeth, you sound like some guy who is afraid that if they try and cop a feel on the trolley, might get stuck with a hatpin.

I find it hilarious that we can shoot black teenagers in this country because we feel threatened, but put out a hypothetical where a guy follows a woman around in the store and if she clocks you with a can of green beans "oh, the humanity! It isn't fair. He was just innocently following her through the store."

If a man grabs some ass, he deserves a hatpin and some time in jail. But not for "looking creepy". Are we judging people on their appearance or their behavior?

Note the huge and wide difference between actual criminal sexual assault, and the totally subjective "looking creepy".
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:39 AM
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And you know those followers are serious...how?
I took them at their word. Why do you think they are lying?
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:42 AM
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I took them at their word. Why do you think they are lying?
There's a vast difference between "lying" and "using hyperbole".
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:44 AM
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There's a post going around the interwebs, from a woman, who suggests, apparently seriously, that if there is a "creepy man" at Walmart, rather than complain to management, instead the woman should: spray cooking oil in his face, choke him out with a belt and/or hit him in the head with a can of beans.

Now, at now time was this mythical and alleged "creepy guy" doing anything other than perhaps following her around. And being "creepy" is not a crime.

But assault? Going to jail for a year? Because your "creep-o-meter" went off?

Women, men who look "creepy" arent as dangerous as the guys who don't.

It's ain't that unshaven "creepy" dude in the smelly overcoat that going to rape your daughter, it's that "great guy" who is your daughter's swim coach. Stats back me out- it's not "stranger danger' it is a man you know and trust.

And violence for alleged "creepyness" is wrong and illegal. But still, this little meme is being applauded like crazy: "PREACH SISTER!" "This Lady just won the internet" "Love, love love".


Something is wrong here.



If any ladies take the advice to mean that they should use physical violence when a man has technically not done anything illegal, they will soon learn that the law doesn't necessarily favor those who are morally right but rather those who are legally right.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:49 AM
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That's nice, but nothing like that was attached in any way shape or form to the meme I saw- shared twice today on FB, and several times elsewhere. [...]

But no where in the meme was there any crime besides being 'creepY", which is entirely subjective.
Well, if you do a little more looking around for reports of experiences on the general theme of "creepy guys at Walmart", you may get a better idea of the sorts of the behavior that most of the people sharing and applauding this meme may be more aware of than you seem to be.

Here's another:
Quote:
Being a 17 year old girl opens me up to a mess load of creepy encounters I guess I don't really know. [...]

At one point my grandma asked me if I needed any new bras [...]

I was minding my own business when I heard someone walk behind me. I figured it was my gram so I partially turned to ask how many pairs I could get but she wasn't behind me. I looked around and say the guy at the end of the aisle. Whatever I thought to myself, maybe he has a wife or a girlfriend, and I went back into my own little world looking for underwear. [...]

I decided to stare straight ahead since maybe someone taller than me was just looking at the underwear that was over my head (I'm 5'1). I felt someone kind of press against me. Then I heard the breathing. It was like heavy breathing like someone had just had sex or something and was calming down. I turned on my heels to see the guy who had been following me with his hand down his pants, obviously fondling himself. [...]

I literally screamed "NANNY" and the guy sprinted away. I told Walmart security and they told me they had no authority to do anything about it.
I mean, it's very noble of you and all to be so concerned about the possibility of a criminal assault against an innocent man who is "just" following a female shopper around a Walmart because he might be unfairly accused of being "creepy" on purely "subjective" grounds. But my guess is that most of the people who are upvoting this particular meme are thinking of instances like the ones I'm quoting, in which case you can kind of see why they'd feel sympathetic to the notion of clocking such a dude with a can of beans.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:53 AM
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I find it hilarious that we can shoot black teenagers in this country because we feel threatened, but put out a hypothetical where a guy follows a woman around in the store and if she clocks you with a can of green beans "oh, the humanity! It isn't fair. He was just innocently following her through the store."
Well no, we can't just shoot black children because we feel threatened, which is why it's such a big deal that cops can do it in exchange for a paid unscheduled vacation. SImilarly, smacking Rando with a can just because it's easier than dealing with the baggage that makes you afraid of him is also bad mojo. And lastly, memes, however hypothetical, which celebrate violence against "creepY" guys (aka Rando who looks funny or acts sorta reminiscent of a bad boyfriend from 20 years ago) need to be crushed. People are fucking stupid. They eat Tide pods and take train track selfies because the internet says to.
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Old 06-27-2019, 11:56 AM
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If any ladies take the advice to mean that they should use physical violence when a man has technically not done anything illegal, they will soon learn that the law doesn't necessarily favor those who are morally right but rather those who are legally right.
Absolutely. Let's not forget what the real danger here is, after all. It's not that so many men routinely feel entitled to follow strange women around a store staring at them and often even engaging in criminal behavior such as sexual indecency or outright assaulting them, but rather that some woman somewhere might get the mistaken idea that she'd be justified in using violence against a strange guy creeping on her who has technically not done anything illegal.

Now there's something worth starting a condemnatory thread about.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:02 PM
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Well no, we can't just shoot black children because we feel threatened, which is why it's such a big deal that cops can do it in exchange for a paid unscheduled vacation. SImilarly, smacking Rando with a can just because it's easier than dealing with the baggage that makes you afraid of him is also bad mojo. And lastly, memes, however hypothetical, which celebrate violence against "creepY" guys (aka Rando who looks funny or acts sorta reminiscent of a bad boyfriend from 20 years ago) need to be crushed. People are fucking stupid. They eat Tide pods and take train track selfies because the internet says to.
Yeah, there's always going to be that special one who believes they need to go shoot up the pizza place where children are being held as sex slaves.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:06 PM
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Absolutely. Let's not forget what the real danger here is, after all. It's not that so many men routinely feel entitled to follow strange women around a store staring at them and often even engaging in criminal behavior such as sexual indecency or outright assaulting them, but rather that some woman somewhere might get the mistaken idea that she'd be justified in using violence against a strange guy creeping on her who has technically not done anything illegal.

Now there's something worth starting a condemnatory thread about.

You're misinterpreting me - but I think you knew that.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:10 PM
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If I man commits a assault, of course you can & should defend yourself. But no where in the meme was there any crime besides being 'creepY", which is entirely subjective.
Arenít you an adult? I ask because itís not clear to me why anyone older than 10 would treat a meme like a PSA.

Those stories posted by Kimstu make me shudder.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:19 PM
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Those stories posted by Kimstu make me shudder.
There's a million of them:
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Without really thinking, I glanced over at the truck and there were two men, and I noticed the older (50-60ish) one, the driver, was calling to me and trying to get my attention. I'm a 19 year old female, for reference. I quickly dipped into the store. He was calling after me the entire time. Immediately warning bells in my head were blaring.

I tried to get through the aisles fairly quick trying to lose him. But he found me multiple times and kept telling me how pretty I am, and asking things from how old I am to if I was in a relationship, or if I was interested in older men. Just being inappropriate in general.

I'm normally a fairly shy person and get a little awkward in situations like this. I tried to keep to myself and tell him I wasn't interested and to leave me alone to no avail. He ended up followed me through the checkout lines - just staring at me.
After checking out I finally asked one of the male employees to escort me to my car, which he did and the man finally left me alone.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
No criminal offenses were alleged by the 'creep".

If she had made up a crime that "creepy" guy was doing, fine, then you can make up ways to get back. If she had said some guy grabbed her, then fine, go for the can of beans or whatever. But being "creepy" is not a crime. And it's entirely in your head.
It's all in whose head? You're the one saying the damn thing is hypothetical. Are you suggesting no creepy guy ever engages in criminal behavior at a Walmart?

Are you saying anything at all about any real world scenario, as far as you're aware?
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:32 PM
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One of the best bits of advice I ever got from a cop: If some messes with you and you get angry, you'll have the rest of your life to be scared.

If my creep-o-meter goes off, I'm going to look you straight in the eye and raise my left (bad) hand in a fist, and scream "Get the hell away from me." If you persist, my right (good) hand is going into your nose or stomach. Hard as I can do it.

And all I have to tell the cops and/or judge is "I thought my right hand was being threatened." It's my stay out of jail card.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 06-27-2019 at 12:33 PM.
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:34 PM
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Creepy guy being interrogated.

Enjoy!
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:36 PM
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#PeopleOfWalMart
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Old 06-27-2019, 12:48 PM
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Originally Posted by Dangerosa View Post
I find it hilarious that we can shoot black teenagers in this country because we feel threatened, but put out a hypothetical where a guy follows a woman around in the store and if she clocks you with a can of green beans "oh, the humanity! It isn't fair. He was just innocently following her through the store."
Can't we be against unjustified violence of all sorts?

I sure hope being followed in a store isn't the standard here. Grocery stores are designed for all customers to take roughly the same path, which means that customers who show up at the same time will be "following" each other throughout their whole shopping trip, with no ill intent.

By all means, if someone is sniffing your hair and masturbating to your children, feel free to get violent. But the ugly, older guy you saw shopping nearby multiple times during your shopping trip is probably just shopping.

And to tie it all together with the atrocities committed by police across the country: Feeling threatened isn't enough. You have to actually be threatened to justify committing violence. And yes, it's an abomination that police in this country aren't held to the same standard as the rest of us, but the standard remains. We should raise the standard for police, not lower it for everyone else.
  #32  
Old 06-27-2019, 12:57 PM
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By all means, if someone is sniffing your hair and masturbating to your children, feel free to get violent.
"Pardon me sir, I hate to sound pushy or demanding, and I certainly pride myself on my open-mindedness and tolerance, (in fact one of my favorite shows is Modern Family) but if you don't mind, your, umm, 'Enthusiasm' is making me and my child a little bit uncomfortable..."
  #33  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:00 PM
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I often wonder if men like the two fine Drs in this thread have wives, daughters, nieces or actually know any women at all who have come home and told them of the kinds of incidents described in this thread and still can't stretch their empathy and understanding far enough to appreciate why some women would post hyperbolic rants at the very real risk of sending these two fine and obviously sensitive souls running to their safe spaces.

Drs. Cube and Deth....word of advice... maybe delete your facebook accounts if you're going to be triggered by this kind of stuff.
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Last edited by QuickSilver; 06-27-2019 at 01:02 PM.
  #34  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:02 PM
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I'd go with screaming "Get the hell away from us, you creep or I'm calling 911." Very loudly.
  #35  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:11 PM
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Are y’all reading the stories Kimstu is posting?

Look, I’ll be the first to condemn any woman who starts in on the green bean throwing afterunfairly maligning a guy as a creep at Walmart. But until that happens, I don’t have any problems with telling woman to defend herself if a guy does shit like pinch her ass in the check out line after doggedly pursuing her in the store. FFS, the last thing a woman in this situation needs is to second guess the fear she’s feeling when she’s actually in danger.

Last edited by you with the face; 06-27-2019 at 01:13 PM.
  #36  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:16 PM
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Until there's a rash (or even just a few examples) of women assaulting men who weren't doing anything, it doesn't seem reasonable to worry about this even close to as much as the worry about creepy men following women in stores and behaving lewdly, which quite clearly does happen disturbingly often.
  #37  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:17 PM
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I sure hope being followed in a store isn't the standard here. Grocery stores are designed for all customers to take roughly the same path, which means that customers who show up at the same time will be "following" each other throughout their whole shopping trip, with no ill intent.
True, and if you think about it for a moment, you'll realize that that means that millions of women every day are being innocently "followed" through stores by millions of men whom they aren't complaining about on the internet.

I mean, if women were constantly bitching that half the guys in the store are following them around every time they set foot in the place, you'd have a point. But that's not what's happening, because women generally don't assume that men are being "creepy" just by virtue of walking through a store.

Quote:
Originally Posted by QuickSilver
I often wonder if men like the two fine Drs in this thread have wives, daughters, nieces or actually know any women at all who have come home and told them of the kinds of incidents described in this thread and still can't stretch their empathy and understanding far enough to appreciate why some women would post hyperbolic rants at the very real risk of sending these two fine and obviously sensitive souls running to their safe spaces.
And honorable mention to Inigo Montoya's condescending sneers about the poor little dears simply not wanting to "deal with the baggage that makes [them] afraid" of random men who are just innocently acting "sorta reminiscent of a bad boyfriend from 20 years ago".

Because the problem, of course, isn't that vast numbers of women are actually getting creeped on by strangers whose behavior often veers into the deliberately intimidating and outright criminal: no, it's that the silly wimminz are so apt to be frightened of harmless men for no valid reason at all, probably due to the natural defects of their ladybrains.
  #38  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:17 PM
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In a world where women are indeed treated like prey, fear is a gift.

Asking a woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance is beyond ridiculous. Women don’t confront men they can easily escape from, it’s too often life threatening.
  #39  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:23 PM
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Well, if you do a little more looking around for reports of experiences on the general theme of "creepy guys at Walmart", you may get a better idea of the sorts of the behavior that most of the people sharing and applauding this meme may be more aware of than you seem to be.

Here's another:


I mean, it's very noble of you and all to be so concerned about the possibility of a criminal assault against an innocent man who is "just" following a female shopper around a Walmart because he might be unfairly accused of being "creepy" on purely "subjective" grounds. But my guess is that most of the people who are upvoting this particular meme are thinking of instances like the ones I'm quoting, in which case you can kind of see why they'd feel sympathetic to the notion of clocking such a dude with a can of beans.
That's all very nice. But it's like comparing the man who shots two armed black assailants breaking into his house, as opposed to the man who killed a innocent black youth who was "acting suspicious".

NOTHING at all, nothing whatsoever in the meme indicated anything other thna "being creepy". So you can bring in these horror stories- but they have nothing whatsoever to do with the advice given to assault a guy for merely being creepy.

And I will tell you ladies- that your "creepy radar" is pretty damn worthless. I had to read thru a bunch of fBI cases studies about pedophiles (horrible, nauseating stuff), and in every single case the Mom was quoted as saying that the kiddie rapist "seemed like such a nice man" , never, ever "well, I thought he was creepy from the moment I saw him". Pedophiles dont act or look creepy, they are creepy.

Too many girls have been dated raped by a "cute guy" who slipped them a date rape drug.

So, creepy radar or momma bear radar is pretty much useless.
  #40  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:26 PM
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Oh, well, if you've read FBI case studies about pedophiles, what does anyone's expertise about violence against women, science about fear, or the experience of actually being a woman have to contribute?

You should have said so!
  #41  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:28 PM
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Originally Posted by QuickSilver View Post
I often wonder if men like the two fine Drs in this thread have wives, daughters, nieces or actually know any women at all who have come home and told them of the kinds of incidents described in this thread and still can't stretch their empathy and understanding far enough to appreciate why some women would post hyperbolic rants at the very real risk of sending these two fine and obviously sensitive souls running to their safe spaces....
I do. And that's why I am against bad memes that give bad & unsafe advice.

And there's nothing about "running to my safe space". It's that it is bad fucking, unsafe advice that will get women into trouble and not help them be safe.
  #42  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:30 PM
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Right. And we're just saying, please stop dispensing it.
  #43  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:31 PM
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That's odd. I saw Robert Resslear, then head of the FBI serial killers unit on Oprah, and one of his words of professional advice was "Trust your instincts." If something seems creepy, go with your feelings."

How many women have taken this bit of advice and NOT been a serial rapist or killers victims. ann Rule got thousands of letters in her lifetime from women who thought they had gotten away from Ted Bundy because "he seemed creepy."

And ladies, if you say "no" and a man tries to turn it into a "yes" run like hell or beat the snot out of him.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 06-27-2019 at 01:32 PM.
  #44  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:34 PM
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Originally Posted by you with the face View Post
Are yíall reading the stories Kimstu is posting?

Look, Iíll be the first to condemn any woman who starts in on the green bean throwing afterunfairly maligning a guy as a creep at Walmart. But until that happens, I donít have any problems with telling woman to defend herself if a guy does shit like pinch her ass in the check out line after doggedly pursuing her in the store. FFS, the last thing a woman in this situation needs is to second guess the fear sheís feeling when sheís actually in danger.
Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just looked creepy. Apples and oranges.

And indeed, up there I said "If a man grabs some ass, he deserves a hatpin and some time in jail."

Sexual assault deserves defending yourself- even violently, and calling the police.

Thinking some guy "looks creepy" does not. Do we judge people on their appearances or their behavior? Haven't you said that before, you with the face?

Are we now going to judge someone based upon their appearance? It is Ok now, to violently attack someone whose mere appearance you dont like?
  #45  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:37 PM
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Originally Posted by DrDeth View Post
NOTHING at all, nothing whatsoever in the meme indicated anything other thna "being creepy".
Well, it's up to you to decide individually whether you think the person who wrote that meme, and the people who are liking and sharing it, interpreted "being creepy" more like "unmistakably intimidating, lewd and/or criminal behavior", or more like "perfectly normal unthreatening behavior on the part of an awkward unattractive man because of course all of us ladies concur that awkward unattractive men should be immediately stigmatized as creeps no matter what they're doing or not doing, and probably hit with cans of green beans too just to be on the safe side".

But your individual choice of interpretation does not obligate anybody else to agree that you're interpreting the meme, or the popular reaction to the meme, correctly.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth
So you can bring in these horror stories- but they have nothing whatsoever to do with the advice given to assault a guy for merely being creepy.
Unless, of course, the people giving and reacting to that advice do associate the concept of "being creepy" with precisely such "horror stories". In which case, "these horror stories" would in fact have quite a lot to do with that advice.

Quote:
Originally Posted by DrDeth
And I will tell you ladies- that your "creepy radar" is pretty damn worthless. I had to read thru a bunch of fBI cases studies about pedophiles (horrible, nauseating stuff), and in every single case the Mom was quoted as saying that the kiddie rapist "seemed like such a nice man" , never, ever "well, I thought he was creepy from the moment I saw him". Pedophiles dont act or look creepy, they are creepy.
Logical fallacy of the converse. Just because women are often wrong when they think a guy's not being creepy doesn't automatically imply that they're equally likely to be wrong when they think a guy is being creepy.
  #46  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:37 PM
Annie-Xmas is online now
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Violently attack them? No! Tell them to get away from you and if they put up an argument, scream at them? You betcha.

ETA: you know, the guy who came out of the gas station with a full tank of something and started pouring fluid on the ground could have been totally innocent. It could have been water. Maybe I shouldn't have called 911, knowing the fire department was right up the block and would come in about a minute, which they did. And I shouldn't have taken the next bus out of there.

Yeah, right.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 06-27-2019 at 01:40 PM.
  #47  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:37 PM
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In a world where women are indeed treated like prey, fear is a gift.

Asking a woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance is beyond ridiculous. Women donít confront men they can easily escape from, itís too often life threatening.
You can certainly escape if you feel threatened. But you can't assault someone based upon their appearance.

No one is asking " woman to override her fear instinct and give that creepy guy a chance ". You can certainly leave if it makes you uncomfortable. What you can't do is "choke him out with a belt" just because of his appearance.
  #48  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:38 PM
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Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just looked creepy. Apples and oranges.

And indeed, up there I said "If a man grabs some ass, he deserves a hatpin and some time in jail."

Sexual assault deserves defending yourself- even violently, and calling the police.

Thinking some guy "looks creepy" does not. Do we judge people on their appearances or their behavior? Haven't you said that before, you with the face?

Are we now going to judge someone based upon their appearance? It is Ok now, to violently attack someone whose mere appearance you dont like?
Did someone really get beaten up for looking creepy? Or is this all hypothetical? That it might happen at some point in the future? If so, yeah, I'm outraged!! We should start a campaign against hypothetically beating up a guy because he looks creepy.
  #49  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:42 PM
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Did someone really get beaten up for looking creepy? Or is this all hypothetical? That it might happen at some point in the future? If so, yeah, I'm outraged!! We should start a campaign against hypothetically beating up a guy because he looks creepy.
No, but that was suggested as the proper action(s) to take. I mean, you read the Op right?
  #50  
Old 06-27-2019, 01:45 PM
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Those stories have absolutely no bearing at all here. In no case was the guy in the meme doing anything at all vaguely like those stories. He just looked creepy.
Where does it say that? Are we talking about this same meme that I quoted earlier?
Quote:
It I see one more “I was followed at such n such Walmart by some creepy dude", I swear I‘m going to lose my shit. If yall women dont learn how to turn around in aisle 13 and ask a mf what his problem is,. Call the police while in the store. All this "I went up to an associate. I spoke to a manager.“ Tf. They dont get hazard pay for that mess. Go grab a can of green beans and smack the dude in the face. Spray him in the eyes with some cooking spray. Choke him with a belt from the accessory aisle. Anything. SOMETHING. Then post that. Yall act like you're helpless. WE'RE NOT HELPLESS." #repost I mean I carry, but even if you don't, you got a whole store of weapons at your disposal. Better beep bop, meep mop the floor with that man.
The meme is explicitly about being "followed at a Walmart by some creepy dude". You seem to be insisting that what the author and sharers of the meme meant by that phrase is simply "seeing some dude in a Walmart who looks creepy". But you have no authority to make that call.

Of course you can argue that you think the author of the meme should have been more specific about the particular type(s) of creepy behavior that she thinks justify physical assault. But you are talking out of your ass when you try to declare categorically that what she actually meant was merely "looking creepy".

Last edited by Kimstu; 06-27-2019 at 01:46 PM.
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