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  #51  
Old 09-28-2017, 01:13 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Speak to me in succinct song lyrics
I've seen fire and I've seen rain.


I've seen sunny days that I though would never end
I've seen lonely times when I could not find a friend.
But I always thought I'd see you again.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 09-28-2017 at 01:13 PM.
  #52  
Old 09-28-2017, 02:11 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Are there any racists who admit they are racist?
I Can't Shake off the Nagging Feeling...


...that you're not wearing those sheets as a ghost outfit for Halloween?
  #53  
Old 09-28-2017, 02:17 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Is all motor oil created equal
Why is my car squirrelly?


I told you not to buy from this company.
  #54  
Old 09-28-2017, 06:42 PM
El_Kabong El_Kabong is offline
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I had an abnormal screening mammogram.
I'm sure they know what they're doing..


Are you really sure?
  #55  
Old 09-28-2017, 09:26 PM
MEBuckner MEBuckner is offline
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Car broken into last night, but didn't steal anything. Any ideas?
I'm sure they know what they're doing..


These guys who steal shit from parked cars are, like, professionals, man!
  #56  
Old 09-29-2017, 08:16 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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I Can't Shake off the Nagging Feeling...

Hugh Hefner has died

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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #57  
Old 09-29-2017, 08:56 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Male Students & Ladies Observing at Gynecologist
Does dispelling free will do any good?


"The Mormon Tabernacle Choir will be in to observe your pelvic exam...we thought you'd be happier if we didn't bother with informed consent."
  #58  
Old 09-29-2017, 05:31 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Somewhat new member
Sayings you didn't realize were obscene


I'm beginning to dislike fake boobs
Who are we having for dinner, honey?


Mrs. Schultz. And you'll love the new al dente recipe.
  #59  
Old 09-29-2017, 08:45 PM
kunilou kunilou is online now
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Work situation: do I have a point or am I overreacting?
You have to do a 45 minute presentation with no preparation right now.


I've have worse things happen at work, but I see your point.
  #60  
Old 09-30-2017, 10:18 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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National Anthem controversy extending to schools
What separates successful protest movements from unsuccessful?


Successful ones spread
  #61  
Old 09-30-2017, 11:00 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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CanadaDope 2017: Celebrating the Sesquicentennial - "... and loving it!"
We are [almost] all diseased!


But we had a great time!
  #62  
Old 09-30-2017, 11:19 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Hurricane Irma [and Maria]
The De-Clutter and Clean Up Support Thread
  #63  
Old 10-01-2017, 01:59 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What would free will on a human level look like?
Ignoring doctor's orders
  #64  
Old 10-01-2017, 04:33 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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What were the biggest screw ups you've been aware of at work?

Hurricane Irma [and Maria]

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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #65  
Old 10-01-2017, 11:46 PM
El_Kabong El_Kabong is offline
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What item have you discarded that you wish you had kept?
Oh boy: children, flutes, semen


You can only choose one. And if it's the third one, we don't want to know.

Let's create Urban Legends!
Mass Killings in the United States


So you're the one who came up with Bowling Green?

Last edited by El_Kabong; 10-01-2017 at 11:49 PM.
  #66  
Old 10-02-2017, 01:04 AM
Colibri Colibri is online now
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Single people, how do you eat?
Rice


Sounds simple enough.
  #67  
Old 10-02-2017, 08:44 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Let's create Urban Legends!
We are [almost] all diseased!


And we're hiding under your car in the shopping center parking lot!
  #68  
Old 10-02-2017, 09:20 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Your MOST favourite....
Made-Up, False and Flat-out Wrong Trivia Dominoes


Anything involving Chuck Pumpkins.
  #69  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:35 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Does dispelling free will do any good?

What would free will on a human level look like?
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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #70  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:38 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Counting French Toast

Single people, how do you eat?



Yes -- Counting French Toast, how do you eat?
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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #71  
Old 10-02-2017, 01:25 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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Somewhat new member
New member reporting for duty
Bermuda Triangle - may have claimed another victim


Two of 'em, it looks like.
  #72  
Old 10-02-2017, 02:27 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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I would like for my remains to be used as a...
Puzzle seen at the LA County Fair - can it be solved?


That's either a nose, or a xiphoid process...wait, I've almost got it...
  #73  
Old 10-02-2017, 04:32 PM
Johnny L.A. Johnny L.A. is online now
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From the Forums page:

Flying Chickens
Type ratings


You only need a type rating if the chicken weighs more than 12,500 pounds.
  #74  
Old 10-03-2017, 08:44 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Oh boy: children, flutes, semen
What to do in Dallas


Yes, the choices are endless, but have you considered a nice barbecue restaurant?
  #75  
Old 10-03-2017, 09:28 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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Double meaning
Another brick *from* the wall
  #76  
Old 10-03-2017, 12:36 PM
kunilou kunilou is online now
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Do you ever wake up punching and kicking?
Why has my cat gone bonkers?


Maybe it's because your cat was lying peacefully next to you on the bed and you woke up punching and kicking.
  #77  
Old 10-03-2017, 03:55 PM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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What's new in ovens?
Will my cat starve himself?


Probably, unless you let him out of the oven.
  #78  
Old 10-03-2017, 04:16 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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Those for new gun control laws...
What's new in ovens?


Do you know who else enjoyed new types of ovens?
  #79  
Old 10-03-2017, 05:12 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Something I don't understand about the Vegas shooting
What happened to all the torpedoes that missed
  #80  
Old 10-03-2017, 07:04 PM
jtur88 jtur88 is offline
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Those for new gun control laws..
What's going on with my gums? Is it urgent?

Transposed from the Misread Titles thread.
  #81  
Old 10-04-2017, 07:26 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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Biochemistries on other planets

I really don't want to die here.


And Mars ain't the kind of place to raise your kids. In fact, it's cold as Hell.
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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #82  
Old 10-04-2017, 07:28 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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I had an abnormal screening mammogram.

Manopause



That IS abnormal
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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #83  
Old 10-04-2017, 08:56 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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Was this a jerky thing to do?
Karate Massacre


Yeah, I'd say pretty jerky.
  #84  
Old 10-04-2017, 09:59 AM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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What will happen if I don't pay a parking ticket issued by a private parking lot?
Karate Massacre
  #85  
Old 10-04-2017, 01:34 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What do you want as your epitaph?
I really don't want to die here.

Last edited by Jackmannii; 10-04-2017 at 01:35 PM.
  #86  
Old 10-04-2017, 02:09 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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What do you want as your epitaph?
Karate Massacre
  #87  
Old 10-05-2017, 09:48 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Gormless Twit
Mandalay Bay (Las Vegas) shooting


I'd use a stronger insult. Like fucking evil asshole.
  #88  
Old 10-05-2017, 02:07 PM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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How unhealthy is the United States really?

I really don't want to die here.
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“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #89  
Old 10-05-2017, 10:00 PM
kunilou kunilou is online now
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Small Pockets in Men's Pants
I really don't want to die here.
  #90  
Old 10-05-2017, 11:39 PM
Colibri Colibri is online now
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Another kind of nasty person
Finally got sober


A mean drunk?
  #91  
Old 10-06-2017, 08:30 AM
CalMeacham CalMeacham is offline
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I shaved my balls for this?

If I give a smart ass answer to a police question, is that cause for a warrant?

__________________
“Of course,” said my grandfather, stepping from the Time Machine and pulling a gun from his belt, “There’s no paradox if I shoot you!”
  #92  
Old 10-06-2017, 10:14 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Poorly chosen wedding songs
Not getting four seasons.
]

Is that Frankie Valli's group or the Vivaldi one?

Memes you hate?
1 in 7 white households has over a million dollars in assets?


Horrible meme. And it doesn't apply to me.

Last edited by Annie-Xmas; 10-06-2017 at 10:15 AM.
  #93  
Old 10-06-2017, 02:01 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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Hypothetical: Who are you, again?
The old man the boat.

You're the old man the boat what?
__________________
Before you, my life was empty. Now, although my life is still empty, you are here with poetry! -- Captain RibMan
  #94  
Old 10-06-2017, 04:29 PM
Colibri Colibri is online now
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What's the first school field trip you remember going on?
SWAT practice near me


Sounds like it was a pretty tough neighborhood.
  #95  
Old 10-06-2017, 06:16 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
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I'm looking for a video on authentic Manx.
Do we know what happened to man?


It's certainly not on video.
  #96  
Old 10-07-2017, 12:42 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Giada De Laurentiis-would somebody give that woman a sandwich???
Oscar Mayer Hard Salami has turned to garbage


Then hold off on the sandwich
  #97  
Old 10-07-2017, 03:39 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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What's the best month to visit Paris?
Clothing Optional Question


July. I love it in the springtime, but goose bumps are unattractive.
  #98  
Old 10-07-2017, 06:55 PM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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A question on bump-firing
How To Stop a Chihuahua From 'Cocking a Leg' In the House


Really, any conventional semi-automatic weapon should be up to the task.
  #99  
Old 10-07-2017, 09:52 PM
kunilou kunilou is online now
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How many names are you known by?
Indiana Jews and the Temple of Broomstick


Okay, that's two. Who has more?
  #100  
Old 10-08-2017, 07:55 AM
buddha_david buddha_david is offline
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NOW I remember why I don't wear these pants: Workplace wardrobe malfunctions
I shaved my balls for this?
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