Homophobic and Damned Ashamed of It

[clairobscur]

Originally Posted by Farmer Jane

Take the test. How does the OP measure?

I took the test and ranked as "high-grade non-homophobic" but frankly you need to be quite seriously homophobic to give the 'wrong" answer to those questions.


I can't relate to the OP regarding homosexuality in general. I can't remember when I learnt that homosexuality existed, I had an attraction for both genders when I was a teen, and neither the existence of homosexuality nor my own attractions ever bothered me (I'm 47 so I guess having an interest in boys "should" have bothered me at that time but it didn't).

However, there's one thing I once mentioned here (and have been criticized for). I don't like men excessively effeminate (even though I like men who are somewhat feminine...Not sure how to explain what I mean) and I don't like men with those caricatural homosexual mannerisms or voice tones. I've been told here it's not true, but I can't help thinking they're acting up.

Something I never mentioned is that I don't like male cross-dressers or transvestites. (though I like butch women as much as feminine women). This I think could relate to the OP situation too. No doubt I could be cricized for this arbitrary dislike. I never tried to do anything about it. I don't know if it's possible or not to change this attitude, and mostly I don't care. I think it's not hurting anybody.


In the OP case, frankly, I think he should stop being bothered by his "homophobic" feelings. Thinking "Ew, ick" when seeing men kissing ranks quite low in the homophobia scale IMO (again, just look at the questions in the test for comparison). Especially for someone who otherwise has been actively promoting gay rights. I'm not sure there's anything he can do about it, if it doesn't change naturally over time. I don't think we can have a total control on our feelings (be it homophobia, racism....), and I believe that as long as we don't act upon them, it's allright.

[clairobscur]

Originally Posted by grude

Does anyone want to think about or see their parents having sex?!?

Wait don't answer!

My four brothers and me all agree that our parents never had sex, so why would I think about such an unlikely happenstance?

[clairobscur]

Originally Posted by j666

And the quiz?

High-grade non-homophobic, but I do not understand some of these question:

Gay people deserve what they get. - Good stuff, bad stuff? What if I think everyone, gay or straight, "deserves what they get."

Homosexuality is acceptable to me. - "Acceptable" is a rather broad term.

I enjoy the company of gay people. - What if I don't really "enjoy" the company of most people? What if I don't know, or speculate about, the sexual orientation of people?

Yes. There's too : "I want to know if people around me are gay or straight". Yes, I want to know. That's called curiosity and it has nothing to do with homophobia.

There are definitely some unstated assumptions in this test.

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by j666

. . . What about two women in full bridal regalia? I don't think I'd like that, either.

Come to think of it, I agree. It wouldn't squick me out as much, but it wouldn't work.

[j666]

Originally Posted by clairobscur

Yes. There's too : "I want to know if people around me are gay or straight". Yes, I want to know. That's called curiosity and it has nothing to do with homophobia.

There are definitely some unstated assumptions in this test.

I missed that one; the only time I care if people are gay or straight is if they are single, and I know someone they might like.

Originally Posted by Trinopus

Come to think of it, I agree. It wouldn't squick me out as much, but it wouldn't work.

So my issue is one of style ... I wonder how I'd feel if the men wore kilts or sarongs or some less standard attire.

[the_diego]

why be afraid? I think it's great. No one minds the other.

[msmith537]

I felt a little uncomfortible having to hold my gay friend's chihuahua, standing next to his little 3-series BMW with the very gay vanity license plate while he went inside to buy beer in San Francisco's Castro district.

Does that make me homophobic?

[Trinopus]

Originally Posted by j666

. . . So my issue is one of style ... I wonder how I'd feel if the men wore kilts or sarongs or some less standard attire.

Two of the biggest, roughest, toughest, "manly" men I know wear utility kilts. I wouldn't DARE tease them!

Originally Posted by msmith537

I felt a little uncomfortible having to hold my gay friend's chihuahua, standing next to his little 3-series BMW with the very gay vanity license plate while he went inside to buy beer in San Francisco's Castro district.

Does that make me homophobic?

Well, by the definition I was using when I started the thread, yes...but by the way people have said the word ought properly to be used, no. Just a little more sensitive than necessary, perhaps.

Think of it this way: what are the possible negative consequences? Someone thinks you're gay? So what? Someone propositions you on the basis of thinking you're gay? Well...so what? You just say no, politely. I guess there could be negative consequences if it led someone who is seriously homophobic, and in a position of authority over you, to think you were gay. Like, your rich uncle Ashton decides to disinherit you, or your local county Republican party central committee stops supporting you in your run for Congress...

I'd figure the likeliest event is someone stops and says, "Wow, what a cute dog!"

[kp_72110]

I think two men having sex is disgusting. But in general I find men gay or straight men to be disgusting. A gay man will typically find women unappealing in the same way. In fact when I have talked to my gay friends about the beautiful vagina they will often use words like "Ewww". Phobic? Perhaps. So what? That doesn't mean you're out to get them. Just means you find that object not appealing. I used to have a great time going to gay bars and drinking for free back when I was a much younger much hotter man. Gay people are fucking awesome to party with!

[clairobscur]

Originally Posted by msmith537

I felt a little uncomfortible having to hold my gay friend's chihuahua, standing next to his little 3-series BMW with the very gay vanity license plate while he went inside to buy beer in San Francisco's Castro district.

Does that make me homophobic?

No, it makes you chihuahuaphobic, which is perfectly fine with me but might get you flamed in the pit if you admit to it.

[bienville]

Originally Posted by DMark

I also don't want to see any nude photos of any Kardashian, or any nude photos of Katy Perry or any nude photos of Natalie Portman - all lovely ladies, but just don't care. I wouldn't throw up if I did see them, but it would be about as exciting as looking at the canned goods in my pantry.

May I please visit your pantry?

[j666]

Utility kilts? Who knew?

[BigT]

Originally Posted by panache45

Do you respond the same way to a straight stereotype? When a guy looks like a truck driver and sounds like a NASCAR announcer, how do you react?

I know I do. Though, generally, I'm so unobservant that I need someone to point it out to me.