The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS)

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-25-2012, 01:18 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Whose demigod/descendent would you not like to be

If you were like Perseus and the rest and had a Greek* Pantheon member as a parent, which one would you NOT like to have

Me: Aphrodite. Because frankly son of Aphrodite sounds weird and although she will help you in battle, she kind of sucks at it and helps get your homeland destroyed/fails to protect you when your enemies stab you to death in the theatre of your mortal enemy.


And as when I played this game last, I was informed by a humourless believer and a clueless atheist that "Greek/Roman Gods are not real", disclaimer; yes I know that, its just playing a game based on mythology and no I am not a neo-pagan, whatever the hell that is.

*Please employ the Greek nomenclature, but you can also consider the Roman versions attributes as well.

Last edited by AK84; 03-25-2012 at 01:19 AM..
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 03-25-2012, 07:37 AM
Baker Baker is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Dec 1999
Location: Tottering-on-the-Brink
Posts: 14,563
I wouldn't was to be a child of Zeus. With so many half brothers and half sisters, it would be hard to keep them straight.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-25-2012, 07:55 AM
Athena Athena is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 1999
Location: da UP, eh
Posts: 12,405
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baker View Post
I wouldn't was to be a child of Zeus. With so many half brothers and half sisters, it would be hard to keep them straight.
Really, there's only one you need to worry about out. All those others? Inconsequential.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-25-2012, 08:01 AM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ainran
Posts: 11,449
What do you mean, not real?
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-25-2012, 08:49 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baker View Post
I wouldn't was to be a child of Zeus. With so many half brothers and half sisters, it would be hard to keep them straight.
Plus Hera will no doubt try to make your existence...............interesting.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 03-25-2012, 08:55 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
I wouldn't want to be the son of a rapeswan. In other words, I don't want to play follow my Leda.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 03-25-2012, 08:55 AM
silenus silenus is online now
Hoc nomen meum verum non est.
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2003
Location: SoCal
Posts: 40,599
Quote:
Originally Posted by Autolycus View Post
What do you mean, not real?
What he said.
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 03-25-2012, 08:58 AM
Scumpup Scumpup is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
I don't remember ever hearing of him even having any, but being one of Hades' bastards doesn't seem to have too many up sides.
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 03-26-2012, 01:24 AM
Nava Nava is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by Baker View Post
I wouldn't was to be a child of Zeus. With so many half brothers and half sisters, it would be hard to keep them straight.
So go gay, then there's no problem.

I'll take a pass on Apollo because he's a complete and utter pouty git. Can't stand his ass ever since I learned the story of Cassandra.
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 03-26-2012, 02:56 AM
AClockworkMelon AClockworkMelon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
I wouldn't want to be a son of Hephaestus, because really, nobody likes Hephaestus.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:09 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon View Post
I wouldn't want to be a son of Hephaestus, because really, nobody likes Hephaestus.
Yeah, but he has always been the coolest in my view, and about the only one who seems to be worth anything.
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:12 AM
Autolycus Autolycus is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Ainran
Posts: 11,449
He's married to Aphrodite too, so that's gotta count for something. And he's the god of fire. Aaaand he pulled a wicked fast one on Hera, which gives him mad props in my book.

Last edited by Autolycus; 03-26-2012 at 03:14 AM..
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 03-26-2012, 04:03 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by AK84 View Post
Me: Aphrodite. Because frankly son of Aphrodite sounds weird and although she will help you in battle, she kind of sucks at it and helps get your homeland destroyed/fails to protect you when your enemies stab you to death in the theatre of your mortal enemy.
Your friends would all be hitting on her. Your half-brother is going around naked and shooting people with a bow and arrow. That would just make high school hell, wouldn't it?
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 03-26-2012, 04:29 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robot Arm View Post
That would just make high school hell, wouldn't it?
She posed naked for Orlando Bloom. That would be enough to disown her.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 03-26-2012, 02:32 PM
thelurkinghorror thelurkinghorror is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Quote:
Originally Posted by AClockworkMelon View Post
I wouldn't want to be a son of Hephaestus, because really, nobody likes Hephaestus.
He is probably the least assholish "Big God." Nobody likes him because he is ugly and his wife cuckolds him. Maybe Demeter is ok too, she's just a vengeful bitch who takes out her daughter problems on the whole world in some versions though. Her ire would probably skip you, though.

Dionysus would be terrible. "Sorry son, can't make it to soccer practice. I have a wine orgy scheduled." Apollo and Artemis probably wouldn't be great due to flightiness. Hermes might be cool in that "shiftless dad who's approval you seek" kinda way.

I don't know if Hades has any kids, but honestly his character was besmirched by Disney and earlier sources. They made him into the evil god (because the underworld = hell, right?). He wouldn't have been flaying you alive as a child, just being a cold underworld guy. Don't eat the pomegranate, though.
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:02 PM
Oredigger77 Oredigger77 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
I think Hera would be the worst. She's kind of a bitch and considering she's already tried to disown a godly kid I'm not sure she would take too well to a human's mistakes. Also while Hera treats Zeus's kids like crap can you imagine how pissed Zeus would be at Hera's kid. On top of that she really doesn't have any power so it's all downside as far as I can see.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:04 PM
Anne Neville Anne Neville is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2004
Quote:
Originally Posted by thelurkinghorror View Post
Maybe Demeter is ok too, she's just a vengeful bitch who takes out her daughter problems on the whole world in some versions though. Her ire would probably skip you, though.
As long as you didn't decide you wanted to live separately from her.

Quote:
Dionysus would be terrible. "Sorry son, can't make it to soccer practice. I have a wine orgy scheduled."
But might be a cool parent, once you were grown up enough to appreciate wine orgies...
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 03-26-2012, 03:52 PM
Mrs. Cake Mrs. Cake is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2004
Good gods, which of them would be any better than the others? Even if you got a pretty cool, relaxed parent, one of their sibling/cousin deities would get pissed at them at some point and take it out on you.

If I had to choose one it would probably be Athena - she seems pretty well balanced as that sort goes (which is to say not at all, but whatever). She appears to be a pretty effective protector and less random over all then her sibs, parents, uncles, aunts, etc. And I like olives.

If I had to choose my least favorite it would be Zeus, because his kids always come to grief. And he's be a total deadbeat dad.

Last edited by Mrs. Cake; 03-26-2012 at 03:53 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 03-26-2012, 05:31 PM
Malleus, Incus, Stapes! Malleus, Incus, Stapes! is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2009
Another vote for Zeus, particularly if the other parent isn't Hera.
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 03-26-2012, 08:57 PM
Apollyon Apollyon is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2000
Quote:
Originally Posted by Robot Arm View Post
Your friends would all be hitting on her. Your half-brother is going around naked and shooting people with a bow and arrow. That would just make high school hell, wouldn't it?
You'd be pretty immune to "Yo Mama" jokes... but yeah, that really wouldn't make up for having your friends bugging you to set them up with her.

(And you can just bet she'd turn up to parent-teacher meetings dressed inappropriately).
Reply With Quote
  #21  
Old 03-27-2012, 06:43 AM
wolfman wolfman is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
Diana wouldn't be too bad a mom (once you figure out how that works with the virginity thing). You know she's not going to be clingy and throw guilt trips if you don't call. Probably just mostly let you do your own thing, and you would probably go on a bunch of hunting trips.
Reply With Quote
  #22  
Old 03-27-2012, 10:04 AM
AK84 AK84 is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Quote:
Originally Posted by wolfman View Post
Diana wouldn't be too bad a mom (once you figure out how that works with the virginity thing). You know she's not going to be clingy and throw guilt trips if you don't call. Probably just mostly let you do your own thing, and you would probably go on a bunch of hunting trips.
Ahem Ahem, Artemis!

Eris seems to be potentially a mothern from hell.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:03 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.