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  #51  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:49 PM
Sunspace Sunspace is online now
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I'm so sorry.
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  #52  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:50 PM
olivesmarch4th olivesmarch4th is offline
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She seemed like a truly remarkable person. This is shocking news. All the best to your family as you deal with this difficult time.
  #53  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:54 PM
Khadaji Khadaji is offline
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I am so sorry for your loss. May whatever gods there be, be with you and your family during this difficult time.
  #54  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:56 PM
Digital is the new Analog Digital is the new Analog is offline
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Crap. I'm so sorry to hear the news, NotOkay. umkay had quite a way with words, and showed a great outlook on life.

She made a lot of friends in a short period of time here, and will be missed.


-D/a
  #55  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:56 PM
Taomist Taomist is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Linus Van Pelt View Post
Umkay made a remarkable impact in a very short period of time. Count me among those who learned a lot (and not just about her disability). She will be missed.
I wish I could post better than this, but this covers it.
My condolences; I'm grateful she shared what she did with us.
  #56  
Old 06-22-2012, 05:57 PM
chronometer chronometer is offline
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I am so sorry.
  #57  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:00 PM
cncdad cncdad is online now
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So very sorry to this.
  #58  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:02 PM
ElvisL1ves ElvisL1ves is online now
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I am shocked and saddened at this news, and wish you and your family strength.
  #59  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:03 PM
Brynda Brynda is offline
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I am so sorry. Words seem inadequate.

I would be interested in donating to a memorial fund or charity of the family's choice.
  #60  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:04 PM
FlightlessBird FlightlessBird is offline
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Oh no So sad to hear about your loss. That thread was something that is so great about the Dope. Her openness in it was amazing. I will certainly remember it and her.
  #61  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:07 PM
PapSett PapSett is offline
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Oh, I am so sorry! I know how inadequate those words are, but they are all I have to give. She was a spot of sunshine here and will be greatly missed.
  #62  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:33 PM
E. Thorp E. Thorp is offline
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My condolences. Reading umkay was a real pleasure, and we'll miss her.
  #63  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:35 PM
ratatoskK ratatoskK is online now
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She was amazing. I am so, so sorry.
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  #64  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:36 PM
yanceylebeef yanceylebeef is online now
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I know how inadequate the word "sorry" can be at a time like this, but I truly am. I didn't participate in the thread, but I read every word. The dope is a better place for having Umkay with us for that brief time.
  #65  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:37 PM
Mean Mr. Mustard Mean Mr. Mustard is online now
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I have never been shaken by the death of someone I do not really know.

Until now.


mmm
  #66  
Old 06-22-2012, 06:50 PM
etv78 etv78 is online now
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My mouth is AGAPE! I'm incredibly sorry for your loss! Unfortunately, I live in MA, but my prayers are with you in this terrible time.
  #67  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:12 PM
Enginerd Enginerd is offline
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I'm so sorry for your loss, NotOkay. Your sister touched a lot of people here, and we'll miss her. My thoughts are with you and your family.
  #68  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:17 PM
gwendee gwendee is offline
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My first thought at this news was "but she just got here".

She shared so generously. I'm deeply sorry that she's gone.

Godspeed umkay.
  #69  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:20 PM
elfkin477 elfkin477 is offline
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I'm so sorry, NotOkay. Let me echo those who say she was awesome, and we mean that in both senses of the word.
  #70  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:35 PM
Do Not Taunt Do Not Taunt is offline
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I'm horrified to read this. Count me among those who found myself incredibly touched and educated by someone I had never met. I don't live in California, but any info you can provide so we can send flowers - or contribute to a favorite charity of hers in her honor - would be appreciated.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

-DNT
  #71  
Old 06-22-2012, 07:47 PM
SeaDragonTattoo SeaDragonTattoo is online now
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I would also like information regarding a charity or cause to contribute to in umkay's name. I'm so floored by the news and shocked and saddened and my heart goes out to the family I've never met of the person I've never met who managed to have such an impact on me with only her words. My best to her family and friends.
  #72  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:15 PM
Capt Kirk Capt Kirk is offline
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I am so sorry for you, your brothers, your parents, family and friends. Although we never met your sister, we will miss her and I really wanted to read her book. I know you are devastated right now and I really appreciate you letting us know what happened, thank you so much.

Paz Y Amor

Capt
  #73  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:23 PM
brainstall brainstall is offline
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How the fuck did that happen? So alive and vibrant in one thread, and gone in another. I don't even know her beyond words on the net, and I'm sitting here crying. My sincerest condolences to you and the rest of your family.
  #74  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:28 PM
cwthree cwthree is offline
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I'm so very sorry.
  #75  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:49 PM
Muffin Muffin is online now
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NotOkay, I am so very sorry for your and your family's loss. In a very short time, your sister brought a great deal to the people participating in her thread. Her fine mind and thoughtful disposition helped many of us gain insights into life as a quadriplegic. I wish you and your family the very best.
  #76  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:51 PM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is offline
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So sad.

It would be meaningful to me to read her obituary, if your family is comfortable linking to it.
  #77  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:52 PM
not what you'd expect not what you'd expect is offline
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Oh no...this is just terrible news. I'm so very sorry.
  #78  
Old 06-22-2012, 08:56 PM
Musicat Musicat is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NotOkay View Post
This forum brought my sister a lot of joy in her last days. She passed last night. If anyone wants to attend the wake, I will post the address and times. She told me some of you live in California.
Would you do that, please? I no longer live in CA, but I'm sure some other Dopers would like to pay their respects.
  #79  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:11 PM
Rand Rover Rand Rover is offline
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So sorry for your loss.
  #80  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:19 PM
Mosier Mosier is offline
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She was one of the most notable and memorable posters in recent times here. I'm sorry she's gone, and for your loss. Thank you for telling us.
  #81  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:20 PM
rocking chair rocking chair is offline
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may her memory be eternal.

we will do all we can here to ensure it.
  #82  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:28 PM
Tangent Tangent is online now
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  #83  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:34 PM
Napier Napier is offline
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For weeks, the anonymous umkay's thread has been all I have looked for here every day, and often worried about during the pauses. For an ethereal being on a web forum, she was more loved than anyone might imagine. Now I am sitting here, holding a tablet, scaring the cat, and crying.

NotOk, please, one more well wish from a stranger so sorry she has gone, the best new soul to have come along in quite a while.
  #84  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:34 PM
PandaBear77 PandaBear77 is offline
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I am so sad to hear this I didn't post in her thread but I read it -- she was so amazing!

Notokay I'm so sorry for your loss *hugs*
  #85  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:35 PM
BMalion BMalion is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rocking chair View Post
may her memory be eternal.

we will do all we can here to ensure it.
I agree.

She was so charming. I wished I could have read about her scuba-diving!
  #86  
Old 06-22-2012, 09:46 PM
tesseract tesseract is offline
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I am so sorry for your loss. Your wonderful sister was one of the most amazing people I have ever met on the internet. I can't believe she is gone. It is very generous that you would extend the invitation to the wake to us here. I would count it a privilege to attend. I am in Southern California. Thank you in advance for providing the details by private message or by posting them here. I am so sorry.
  #87  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:03 PM
dogbutler dogbutler is offline
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I'm sorry for your loss. She'll be missed here, too.
  #88  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:09 PM
tesseract tesseract is offline
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I need to talk about umkay. Is this the place to do it? Should I start a new thread?

I can't believe it. I just can't believe she is gone. She was larger than life. She was so amazing, so mature, so wise beyond her years, so interesting, so generous. The last thing I know of that she posted was this: "I'm open to hearing your side and possibly having my mind changed as a result." In the incredibly short time that she was here, she made such an impression. I found myself thinking several times that if we could all be more like umkay, even just in the way she responded to others' posts, the Dope would be a better place. The world would undoubtedly be a better place if more people were like her. I don't mean to deify her or something, but she really did have a wisdom, brilliance, and captivating way of writing (speaking, really) that made me and many others, I think, log on all the time hoping she had posted something else. How can she be GONE??? How can she be gone. I'm in denial. How can she be gone.

Knowing that my feelings are only based upon knowing her for such a short time just here, I feel like it might even be inappropriate for me to be expressing them like this, because her family of course is in the depths of grief (or likely shock) and I don't want to give the impression that I think my shock or sadness is even in the same universe as theirs -- I know that it is not. I know it's not. But oh, I just can't believe it. Oh, umkay. umkay, umkay, umkay.
  #89  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:11 PM
Celyn Celyn is offline
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That's terrible news. I am so sorry, NotOkay and for all her family. My condolences.
  #90  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:15 PM
rivulus rivulus is offline
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Wow. I am so sorry for your loss.

I have had this thread open for several days, gradually making my way through all the pages and feeling so... enlightened by umkay's insights on her life.
  #91  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:18 PM
lavenderviolet lavenderviolet is offline
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My condolences to her loved ones. She seemed to be doing so well, it's shocking that she's gone so suddenly. She definitely added a lot to the board in her short time here. I think she changed many people's perceptions about people living with spinal cord injuries. Her happy, fun attitude brightened things up.
It sounded like she loved her family very much. I'm glad that she was surrounded by a loving family - that surely had a lot to do with why she seemed like such a happy and positive person even though she faced so many challenges in life. I definitely wish peace and comfort to those of you who knew and loved her.

Last edited by lavenderviolet; 06-22-2012 at 10:19 PM.
  #92  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:20 PM
Girl Next Door Girl Next Door is offline
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Shit. Shit. Shit.

This is horrible news.

I'm terribly sorry to hear it.

My condolences to umkay's family.
  #93  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:30 PM
overlyverbose overlyverbose is offline
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I'm so sorry.
  #94  
Old 06-22-2012, 10:34 PM
Dr. Drake Dr. Drake is online now
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I'm very sorry for your loss, and ours. I can only echo what others have said: she made a very strong and a very positive impression in a very short time.
  #95  
Old 06-22-2012, 11:09 PM
umkay umkay is offline
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Re-post from IMHO, just so the word is out:


the FUCK?!

I DIED?!

Count me in as one of the people who'd be realfuckin' interested in those wake details, since a corpse-less funeral should be pretty fuckin' strange. Ditto that fuckin' obituary.

NotOkay--You sick fuck. What you just did is so fucking disturbing. I know we're not supposed to accuse people of being trolls on this forum, but I beg special circumstances, Mods. Plus, this isn't an accusation; it's a FACT. This motherfucker is NOT my brother, and that was such a gross violation of forum rules, not to mention moral decency, I hope you'll immediately ban this user (not that that will necessarily stop the fucker from popping back up with some other sn, masquerading as a normal human being...or will it?).

All: As fucking upsetting as it was to log in and read the board for the first time in a week and see some shithead griefing you all in such a disgusting way, the words you all said were jaw-dropping and extremely touching. I'm horrified and completely mortified that your profound goodness was exploited on my account by a fucking slug of a human being.

I'll fill anyone in who wants to know what I've been up to this week, which has been a whole lot of medical bullshit and out of town travel to see specialists and FINALLY a diagnosis of gastric ulcers, on my other thread. That is, if I can pull off a double resurrection--one for me, one for my thread.

To that end, Mods--Can you reopen my thread? You wouldn't want to make the girl who can't use her arms have to copy and paste everything in it to another thread, would you?

And if it needs to be said, I am a-okay, y'all! The AD riddle has been solved and I'm feeling right as rain.

...Or did you think a fuckin' tummyache could really take me out? Please. I survived a fuckin' broken neck. FTS INLIKMD!

[My blinding rage pressed me to ditch my usual expletive self-censoring for this post. Sorry if your children are reading...but why aren't they in bed anyway??].
  #96  
Old 06-22-2012, 11:12 PM
WordMan WordMan is offline
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A link to the umkay resurrection thread you started:

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=656166.
  #97  
Old 06-22-2012, 11:13 PM
twickster twickster is offline
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Mod note

I'm going to lock this -- and leave the other thread locked -- while we get this straightened out.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator
  #98  
Old 06-23-2012, 12:00 AM
TubaDiva TubaDiva is offline
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Investigation is continuing but it does appear the community has been subjected to a cruel hoax/nasty joke of some sort.
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