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  #101  
Old 05-29-2016, 10:55 PM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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Originally Posted by Grrr! View Post
Spamforbrains is making quite the showing this thread regarding 9/11.
She also thinks that when that kid feel into the gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati they should have traded bananas to the gorilla for the boy instead of shooting him.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...79&postcount=2
  #102  
Old 05-30-2016, 10:07 AM
TroutMan TroutMan is offline
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I'm such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am?
You heard about it days later? Lame. I don't even know how much later it was when I heard because I don't have any clocks or calendars.
  #103  
Old 05-30-2016, 10:47 AM
excavating (for a mind) excavating (for a mind) is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
I'm such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am?
You heard about it days later? Lame. I don't even know how much later it was when I heard because I don't have any clocks or calendars.
What, there was an attack on 9/11?
  #104  
Old 05-30-2016, 06:56 PM
Azeotrope Azeotrope is offline
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Meet Pylesos, who's going apeshit over that recent monkey business at the Cincinatti Zoo. Those bastards murdered the gorilla his dreams, so he hates every human from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z, especially those darn kids.
  #105  
Old 05-30-2016, 09:43 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
She also thinks that when that kid feel into the gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati they should have traded bananas to the gorilla for the boy instead of shooting him.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...79&postcount=2
And here's her latest idiocies from that thread:

Quote:
Originally Posted by spamforbrains View Post
Exactly. This isn't exactly a wild animal-he's lived with people for 17 years. He's also not some hungry tiger, he's pretty close to being human and his keepers probably communicate quite well with him. I'm sure they could have gotten the kid safely away in some way if they'd tried.

...

Where exactly do you think they are going to get another gorilla? There aren't many left. Personally, I think any gorilla's life is worth far more than any child's life simply based on their relative rarity. Kids are a dime a dozen. Gorillas, not.
Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that shitforbrains would be more appropriate.
  #106  
Old 05-30-2016, 11:36 PM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
And here's her latest idiocies from that thread:



Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that shitforbrains would be more appropriate.
She must be known as *that* lady in her neighborhood. You know, the crazy animal lady with about 400 cats and 250 parrots whose house is on the verge of being condemned.
  #107  
Old 05-31-2016, 12:30 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
And here's her latest idiocies from that thread:



Especially with the second comment, I have to agree that shitforbrains would be more appropriate.
Spammy is the ultimate back seat driver-- always knowing better than the people who are actually at the wheel, but never being in a role of responsibility for his or her actions. The ignorance, it is strong in that one!
  #108  
Old 05-31-2016, 05:25 PM
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Originally Posted by Azeotrope View Post
Meet Pylesos, who's going apeshit over that recent monkey business at the Cincinatti Zoo. Those bastards murdered the gorilla his dreams, so he hates every human from chimpan-A to chimpan-Z, especially those darn kids.
And he's only been here two days.
  #109  
Old 05-31-2016, 07:00 PM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is online now
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Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
I'm such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am?
Quote:
Originally Posted by TroutMan View Post
You heard about it days later? Lame. I don't even know how much later it was when I heard because I don't have any clocks or calendars.
Quote:
Originally Posted by excavating (for a mind) View Post
What, there was an attack on 9/11?


Huh? How does THAT work? It's still only May.
  #110  
Old 05-31-2016, 08:05 PM
Jragon Jragon is offline
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I called 911, they said they're fine and not under attack.
  #111  
Old 05-31-2016, 08:38 PM
splatterpunk splatterpunk is offline
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Originally Posted by John Mace View Post
I'm such a hipster, I never even heard of the 9/11 attacks until days later. Did I mention what a hipster I am?
I knew about 9/11 hours before it was cool to know about 9/11.
  #112  
Old 06-01-2016, 01:02 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Originally Posted by splatterpunk View Post
I knew about 9/11 hours before it was cool to know about 9/11.
I knew about 9/11 on 9/5 because I was part of the government conspiracy.
  #113  
Old 06-01-2016, 05:01 AM
Alessan Alessan is online now
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Originally Posted by madsircool View Post
I knew about 9/11 on 9/5 because I was part of the government conspiracy.
I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn't have heard of it.
  #114  
Old 06-01-2016, 10:21 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn't have heard of it.
Damn you Dick Cheney
  #115  
Old 06-01-2016, 10:23 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Originally Posted by Alessan View Post
I was also in on a government conspiracy. No, not the same one you were in. A much more secret government conspiracy - you wouldn't have heard of it.
I knew the Israelis were behind it!!
  #116  
Old 06-01-2016, 03:29 PM
Lemur866 Lemur866 is offline
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Oh noes! I've lost everything!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=794540

It's a tragedy. Her boyfriend doesn't want to hang out with her this weekend!
  #117  
Old 06-01-2016, 03:40 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
Oh noes! I've lost everything!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=794540

It's a tragedy. Her boyfriend doesn't want to hang out with her this weekend!
ALERT THE INTERNET!

When you "don't know where to turn," surely there is no better course than to reach out to a bunch of anonymous people who have no idea who you are rather than your own good friends.

Last edited by Colibri; 06-01-2016 at 03:40 PM.
  #118  
Old 06-01-2016, 04:06 PM
Lemur866 Lemur866 is offline
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I guess I can't understand why so many people respond to our recurring troll with serious advice. Maybe it's like giving advice to Captain America about his relationship with Iron Man? Or do they think the troll is a real person?
  #119  
Old 06-01-2016, 04:42 PM
digs digs is offline
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For me, it's the 1% chance that it's a non-bot/non-autistic/non-jerkwad person who is actually upset ... for instance, that her BF doesn't want to be her BFF (oh, noes indeed).

I always take a poster at face value (what? they could be real...) and try to help (c'mom, stop laughing...) until the proof of trollery is overwhelming (ok, I'll admit, it usually piles up to critical mass after their third post...).
  #120  
Old 06-01-2016, 04:46 PM
Richard Parker Richard Parker is offline
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As Sir William Blackstone put it, "It is better that ten guilty trolls are engaged than that one innocent is ignored."

Last edited by Richard Parker; 06-01-2016 at 04:46 PM.
  #121  
Old 06-01-2016, 04:53 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Originally Posted by Richard Parker View Post
As Sir William Blackstone put it, "It is better that ten guilty trolls are engaged than that one innocent is ignored."
Yeah, but he was on AOL, so what would he know!
  #122  
Old 06-01-2016, 04:57 PM
Grrr! Grrr! is offline
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Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
Oh noes! I've lost everything!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...d.php?t=794540

It's a tragedy. Her boyfriend doesn't want to hang out with her this weekend!
Quote:
Originally Posted by Colibri View Post
ALERT THE INTERNET!

When you "don't know where to turn," surely there is no better course than to reach out to a bunch of anonymous people who have no idea who you are rather than your own good friends.
Okay, this thread has officially turned into a witch hunt.

You know, there are some people who simply don't have friends and places liked this are the only place they can hash things out.

Or hell, I do have friends. But a lot of times I'd rather come here for advice simply because I don't want to dump my emotion garbage on my friends. (Too embarrassing)

Plus, on here, you get a lot broader range of advice, and honest advice to take in rather than your friends that are basically just going to tell you what you want to hear.
  #123  
Old 06-01-2016, 05:02 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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Originally Posted by Grrr! View Post
Okay, this thread has officially turned into a witch hunt.

You know, there are some people who simply don't have friends and places liked this are the only place they can hash things out.
That person says she has good friends.

Quote:
Or hell, I do have friends. But a lot of times I'd rather come here for advice simply because I don't want to dump my emotion garbage on my friends. (Too embarrassing)

Plus, on here, you get a lot broader range of advice, and honest advice to take in rather than your friends that are basically just going to tell you what you want to hear.
You've been here 15 years and know people here (even if they are anonymous). The difference is that this person just apparently selected a message board at random to post her problems. In my opinion, this is not very likely to be a real situation.
  #124  
Old 06-01-2016, 05:05 PM
Grrr! Grrr! is offline
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Points taken.
  #125  
Old 06-01-2016, 05:18 PM
TroutMan TroutMan is offline
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Grrr!, if you started a thread about a personal problem, I don't think anyone would accuse you of trolling. It's the one-offs who just happen to stumble across this board with their slightly unbelievable problems that start pinging the radar.

Not every troll is someone posting to purposely yank on our chains; there are also sympathy trolls that post to get attention. She seems to be in the latter camp. Maybe her story is even true and she thinks she wants advice, but guaranteed she will ignore whatever advice is given. She just wants attention.
  #126  
Old 06-01-2016, 05:50 PM
Lemur866 Lemur866 is offline
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This person joined this message board yesterday, just to complain that her life was ruined because her boyfriend didn't want to hang out this weekend.

This is a person with a serious mental problem but the problem is not that they are overly worried about their love life.

If the person had made even 20 posts on other subjects here, before complaining about their boyfriend ruining their life, I wouldn't call troll.

But we've had dozens of such threads in the past year or so, all people with outlandish outsized personal problems that could be addressed fairly comprehensively with "Get over it", if only the problems were real.

This troll has a particular style of writing like a nearly-literate person. Lots of mistakes and typos, all in a breathless sort of style. Maybe this is their actual voice, and they couldn't write more clearly if they tried. In any case, it's all more of the same.
  #127  
Old 06-01-2016, 06:24 PM
Alessan Alessan is online now
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Originally Posted by Lemur866 View Post
I guess I can't understand why so many people respond to our recurring troll with serious advice. Maybe it's like giving advice to Captain America about his relationship with Iron Man? Or do they think the troll is a real person?
Because we're not posting for the troll, we're posting for each other. The troll is just the excuse.
  #128  
Old 06-01-2016, 06:30 PM
digs digs is offline
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Because we're not posting for the troll, we're posting for each other. The troll is just the excuse.
Oh, man, I love this. While we're laughing at someone and it might be pointless, we're actually entertaining each other (more than a TV show ever would, in my experience).
  #129  
Old 06-01-2016, 06:54 PM
kaylasdad99 kaylasdad99 is online now
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Even if the poster is totally sincere, it's probably better that she (or he) be disabused of the idea that this message board is very appropriate as an anonymous public confessional.
  #130  
Old 06-01-2016, 07:04 PM
elucidator elucidator is offline
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A Grrrrl should give us a name.
  #131  
Old 06-01-2016, 11:21 PM
CCitizen CCitizen is offline
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I can't say, but surely with such an awesome thread-to-post ratio -- noted above as being 0.75 (sometimes known as the John Mace Quotient in honor of its inventor)
It is not John Mace Quotient -- it is Post to Thread Ratio ratio.

Mine is 1393 posts: 80 threads or 17.4

Average is 19,223,379 posts: 746,640 threads for 4,970 active members. It is 25.7 -- I should post more and start less threads.

Last edited by CCitizen; 06-01-2016 at 11:24 PM.
  #132  
Old 06-01-2016, 11:42 PM
digs digs is offline
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I should post more...
Computah says... no.
  #133  
Old 06-01-2016, 11:46 PM
CCitizen CCitizen is offline
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digs Post to Thread Ratio is

5400 to 34 = 158

Why do you not start many threads?
  #134  
Old 06-02-2016, 12:18 AM
digs digs is offline
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Originally Posted by CCitizen View Post
digs Post to Thread Ratio is

5400 to 34 = 158

Why do you not start many threads?
Really, you think this place would be better with discussions about "Dinner Dates On Which I've Picked My Nose AND Farted"? Or "I ate two dozen Twizzlers for breakfast. Anyone else?". Or maybe I'd reveal "Quayle/Cheney Running as Third Party" or "Here's why Michelle Obama and Chelsea Clinton will steal the nomination!"
And then I'd pull out the bandwidth-gobbling "Here's my complete screenplay for the real ending to The Prisoner"...

Life's better if I just chime in others' topics. And come to think of it, life was better in the 50s... when I only lurked.
  #135  
Old 06-02-2016, 01:02 AM
cochrane cochrane is online now
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It doesn't have anything to do with sentience or species; it's all about rarity and value. Unfortunately, humans are not rare and human children are not valuable except to their parents even when viewed through a human-centric lens. I'm sure your Disney-esque sensibilities will be offended by these statements.
Oh, bullshit!

What a vile, disgusting ****. They should put her in a gorilla exhibit. How anybody can go through life with her head so completely up her ass is beyond me.
  #136  
Old 06-02-2016, 01:03 AM
CCitizen CCitizen is offline
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Life's better if I just chime in others' topics. And come to think of it, life was better in the 50s... when I only lurked.
Thus, high Post to Thread ratio implies that a person is shy.

But I also read many more posts then I write.
  #137  
Old 06-02-2016, 07:35 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Can we rename GD the Velocity/boffking Blog Forum?
  #138  
Old 06-02-2016, 08:11 PM
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At least Velocity occasionally participates in the the discussion.
  #139  
Old 06-02-2016, 08:43 PM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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At least Velocity occasionally participates in the the discussion.
Yes, he does. At some point, both of those guys will turn their attendant elsewhere I assume.
  #140  
Old 06-02-2016, 09:43 PM
Colibri Colibri is offline
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Yes, he does. At some point, both of those guys will turn their attendant elsewhere I assume.
I expect that's how they escaped. Their attendants were distracted.
  #141  
Old 06-05-2016, 04:22 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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Does anyone know if Giraffes can dance?
  #142  
Old 06-05-2016, 04:32 AM
Baker Baker is offline
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Does anyone know if Giraffes can dance?
Darn you, I was just coming here to post about GCD. He was messing with the DeathPool thread, and when I reported him to the mods he got nasty.
  #143  
Old 06-05-2016, 07:57 AM
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Because we're not posting for the troll, we're posting for each other. The troll is just the excuse.
My only problem with that is that sometimes it seems some people aren't in on it. And there's no clear way to let people know that we suspect someone is trolling, other than having a thread like this that you hope people check (and they don't).
  #144  
Old 06-05-2016, 09:06 AM
Ramira Ramira is offline
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it is the policy. of course the non statement of the obvious and never discussing or mentioning the obvious, this policy will (eventually at the end of the internet) be successful in its objective.
  #145  
Old 06-05-2016, 10:24 AM
Alessan Alessan is online now
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My only problem with that is that sometimes it seems some people aren't in on it. And there's no clear way to let people know that we suspect someone is trolling, other than having a thread like this that you hope people check (and they don't).
Who cares if they're in on it?

I'm in favor of treating every thread with earnestness and sincerity. If the subject in real, we might actually help someone; if not, at least we had a good conversation. And if some random loser on the internet is laughing at us from the shadows... let them.

Last edited by Alessan; 06-05-2016 at 10:27 AM.
  #146  
Old 06-05-2016, 10:40 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Originally Posted by Alessan View Post
Who cares if they're in on it?

I'm in favor of treating every thread with earnestness and sincerity. If the subject in real, we might actually help someone; if not, at least we had a good conversation. And if some random loser on the internet is laughing at us from the shadows... let them.
Totally agree. Its all about the conversation.
  #147  
Old 06-05-2016, 10:41 AM
TroutMan TroutMan is offline
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Does anyone know if Giraffes can dance?
Doesn't the username kind of scream "I'm a banned poster back with a sock?"
  #148  
Old 06-05-2016, 10:48 AM
JKellyMap JKellyMap is offline
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Does anyone know if Giraffes can dance?
He did just post a well-thought-out, normal-style contribution to the NBA thread (in Game Room). Have the Mods ever banned someone from certain fora but not others?
  #149  
Old 06-05-2016, 10:53 AM
John Mace John Mace is offline
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He did just post a well-thought-out, normal-style contribution to the NBA thread (in Game Room). Have the Mods ever banned someone from certain fora but not others?
Yes, I believe so. And some posters have been banned for certain topics, regardless of forum.

Last edited by John Mace; 06-05-2016 at 10:53 AM.
  #150  
Old 06-05-2016, 12:36 PM
oft wears hats oft wears hats is offline
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Originally Posted by cochrane View Post
She also thinks that when that kid feel into the gorilla enclosure in Cincinnati they should have traded bananas to the gorilla for the boy instead of shooting him.

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...79&postcount=2
Let's not forget this chestnut:

Quote:
Originally Posted by spamforbrains View Post
You really should talk to your doctor. Bleeding heavily is not good for you nor is it normal. There are many approaches available today to drastically reduce or even totally eliminate menstrual periods. I've been enjoying their effects since I was 12 and most women I know have as well. We really don't understand it when women talk about menstrual cramps and the like. Spoiled brats I guess.
I didn't realize that the Queen of Menstruation had joined our ranks. She'll set those spoiled brats straight. The nerve of some people, having debilitating menstrual cramps just to get attention.
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