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  #51  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:20 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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One Sunday morning I went to the local 7-eleven for coffee and got to witness the cops questioning a man who had stolen a bunch of scratch off lottery tickets from a different 7-eleven and then tried to redeem a winner at the local 7-eleven. By the time the cops took the guy away, a huge crowd had gathered to listen to the guy insist that he had bought the tickets and the 7-eleven guy was lying about them being stolen.
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  #52  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:28 AM
Loach Loach is offline
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In general the stupidest crime is robbing a bank. The arrest rate is very high. You are going to get caught. You are going to do federal time. You are not get out of there with more this a few thousand. We had a guy rob a bank on a Friday with a note because he was going into a court mandated rehab on Monday. He used the money to go on an alcohol and drug bender for the weekend. The bank had one of the clearest security cameras I've seen. We had his name by the end of the day. He was caught as soon as he sobered up and crawled out of the hole he was in. So instead of going to rehab he got a chance to get clean in a federal penitentiary.
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  #53  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:29 AM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is online now
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What's the dumbest crime you ever witnessed or were a victim of?

My car was broken into when I was in grad school. They stole a box that contained cassette tapes of late 80s wannabe punk bands. Joke's on them.

Last edited by IvoryTowerDenizen; 01-10-2017 at 08:29 AM..
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  #54  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:53 AM
ioioio ioioio is offline
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Long ago, my brother and I got to go to the big city swimming pool one day. Brother wore very strong glasses, but left them on a towel while he got in the pool. When he came back, they were gone.

We went looking around and saw a boy, about 10, wearing identical glasses, which were obviously too big for him. Also, the kid was lurching around and running into things.

We simply asked the kid for the glasses back, and he returned them. What I really wanted to ask was "why???"
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  #55  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:58 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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A NJ real estate agent I knew claimed $35K on his income tax, then went down to Florida and paid $105K CASH for a classic antique car! When the IRS came knocking, I asked him how he could be so stupid. "I bought it in Florida. I didn't think they'd find out."
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  #56  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:59 AM
Doctor Jackson Doctor Jackson is offline
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Originally Posted by Ennui View Post
I wont (statues of elimination and all).
Ah, yes, the set of laws pertaining to peeing and pooping.
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  #57  
Old 01-10-2017, 08:59 AM
TriPolar TriPolar is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
One Sunday morning I went to the local 7-eleven for coffee and got to witness the cops questioning a man who had stolen a bunch of scratch off lottery tickets from a different 7-eleven and then tried to redeem a winner at the local 7-eleven. By the time the cops took the guy away, a huge crowd had gathered to listen to the guy insist that he had bought the tickets and the 7-eleven guy was lying about them being stolen.
Not quite as dumb as a guy who stole gift cards from the checkout display rack at a local mini-mart. He was a neighborhood kid recognized by the clerk, the police brought him in within the hour. The best part is he didn't realize the cards had to be activated at the register when they were purchased.
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  #58  
Old 01-10-2017, 09:19 AM
Cardigan Cardigan is offline
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I recall hearing about some kids that scaled a water tower one night to spray graffiti on it and for some reason couldn't/wouldn't come down. This resulted in the authorities having to go up there next morning to fetch them.
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  #59  
Old 01-10-2017, 09:29 AM
Azeotrope Azeotrope is offline
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My car was broken into last August while I was at work. They got away with my prescription sunglasses, some loose change, and my snow scraper. I repeat: August.

THe part that pissed me off was that they left the door ajar, so the dome light stayed on and left me with a flat battery
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  #60  
Old 01-10-2017, 09:51 AM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is online now
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ennui View Post
I wont (statues of elimination and all).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Doctor Jackson View Post
Ah, yes, the set of laws pertaining to peeing and pooping.
Actually, stone sculptures pertaining to peeing and pooping.
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  #61  
Old 01-10-2017, 10:02 AM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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When I was at Fort Bragg there was a pizza guy who came around the barracks every evening. He'd yell out "pizza man" down the halls and anyone who wanted a pizza would come out and get one.

One night he gets rolled somewhere near, or maybe even right in front of, our building and the people involved took his pizzas and whatever cash he had on him and ran. He came into the building and talked to the sergeant on duty of the floor who then knocked on the doors. One female soldier came out dressed in all black and munching on a pizza.
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  #62  
Old 01-10-2017, 11:22 AM
Nawth Chucka Nawth Chucka is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by IvoryTowerDenizen View Post
My car was broken into when I was in grad school. They stole a box that contained cassette tapes of late 80s wannabe punk bands. Joke's on them.
You mean, the Killing Joke's on them?
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  #63  
Old 01-10-2017, 11:33 AM
Nawth Chucka Nawth Chucka is offline
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Originally Posted by Loach View Post
In general the stupidest crime is robbing a bank. The arrest rate is very high. You are going to get caught. You are going to do federal time. You are not get out of there with more this a few thousand. We had a guy rob a bank on a Friday with a note because he was going into a court mandated rehab on Monday. He used the money to go on an alcohol and drug bender for the weekend. The bank had one of the clearest security cameras I've seen. We had his name by the end of the day. He was caught as soon as he sobered up and crawled out of the hole he was in. So instead of going to rehab he got a chance to get clean in a federal penitentiary.
We recently had an airman leave work (in Security Forces [military cop] on base, Federal property), go to his on-base dorm to change, then rob a credit union w/ a gun and go back to his dorm. How much more Federal of a crime can you commit? I guess he could have also kidnapped someone, that would have been even Feddier.
He's even in his uniform in the mug shot.

"Are the robber's fingerprints in the system?"
"Yeah, you could say that."
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  #64  
Old 01-10-2017, 11:38 AM
Lancia Lancia is offline
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Personally experienced:

1) When I was living in Portland I always parked my car in a campus-owned parking garage. When I went to leave one morning I unlocked the door, got in, started it, and then noticed a piece of paper on the floor of the passenger footwell. I picked it up and saw that it was a receipt that had been in my glove box. I opened the glove box (which never had much in it) and noticed that the small notebook I used as a maintenance log was gone.

Whoever broke in had jimmied the lock (nothing was actually broken) and entered the car just to steal a 3”x5” notebook. They even locked the car when they left. Later I mentioned this to a police officer and he mentioned a lot of people keep emergency cash in little books like that in the glove box so the thief was probably hoping to find some money tucked away. I guess that’s as good an explanation as any, although whoever it was left the owner’s manual, a factory-supplied service record book, and an envelope full of warranty info for the tires, belts, and such. Had they spent an extra 30 second searching they would have discovered a tool bag with ~$200 worth of tools tucked under the back seat.

2) A few months back someone broke into my wife’s minivan while it was parked in the driveway. Unlike my car, her van has an alarm so our guess is she mistakenly left it unlocked. They took an umbrella, a pair of sunglasses that was sitting in the ashtray, a cellphone charging cord, a phone-to-stereo audio cord, and a tire pressure gauge. All together maybe $20 worth of stuff as all of it was cheap K Mart junk. She also keeps tools in the back of the car as well as jumper cables and other standard car things. They left all that stuff and instead took a cheap umbrella and some bits of wire.


Personally witnessed (for a certain value of “witnessed”):

I learned a few weeks ago that a family member was the newest guest at the local county jail. Apparently this guy had done something stupid last year and was sentenced to 10 days on a work crew. Well, Mr. Dumbshit only did 8 days, blowing off the rest in the apparent belief that the county wouldn’t care. Being the type of person who believes traffic regulations are merely suggestions and those suggestions don’t apply to him, it was only a matter of time before he would be pulled over. When that time inevitably came, the cop ran his license, found out about the truncated work crew attendance, and promptly arrested him. AIUI he had to do the full ten days of his original sentence—this time in jail.
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  #65  
Old 01-10-2017, 11:53 AM
Kimballkid Kimballkid is offline
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Originally Posted by Shodan View Post
My wife's apartment was broken into before we were married, but all they stole was a can of frozen orange juice. The police thought it might be because some people keep valuables in the freezer. But in this case it was just orange juice.

Regards,
Shodan
So they concentrated on the orange juice.

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  #66  
Old 01-10-2017, 02:19 PM
BobArrgh BobArrgh is offline
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Originally Posted by Ennui View Post
I wont (statues of elimination and all).
I don't mean to pile on when a mistake has been made, but this one was just too good to pass up. Behold, caganer:

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  #67  
Old 01-10-2017, 02:21 PM
Intergalactic Gladiator Intergalactic Gladiator is offline
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I got hit with 30 hours of community service for walking across railroad tracks when the gates were down. Walking across, on foot, past a commuter train that was pulling away from tracks, next to an older lady who also got ticketed. Granted, there was a train on the same line that hit a bus a few years ago, so people were a little twitchy about that. I can see that.

I should have found something to do in the courthouse or something, but the fastest and easiest way to do it was work Saturdays with the local police. The cop was a little prickly but he also could tell the difference between a dirtbag and someone who may have just screwed up, so he gave the non-dirtbags nicer jobs when he could.

One Saturday we were standing around waiting to be released and we talk about the big crimes we've committed like walking across the tracks and speeding or whatnot. One guy is on the work detail because he kept getting caught driving without a license. If memory serves correctly, his car was also impounded. We all finally get released, he walks out to the parking lot, gets into the drivers seat of his buddy's car, and squeals away.

Last edited by Intergalactic Gladiator; 01-10-2017 at 02:22 PM..
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  #68  
Old 01-10-2017, 03:10 PM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
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Another real estate one: An agent with us had a part-time job at a bank. She was buying a condo through our office when she left our office.

A month later I'm going through the MLS activity for our office, and I find out the condo she was buying has been reported closed, and we are the selling office. Odd, since we did not get a notice or our commission check.

I call the closing attorney, who informs me that she came to the closing and picked up our commission check. I ask him to call me when his escrow account checking statement comes in.

I tell the broker, who calls the agent and asks what is going on with the closing. The agent pauses and then says "I don't work through your office anymore."

He points out the deal was made through our office, we are due a commission, and the closing check has to be cashed through our office and where the hell is it? She says she doesn't have it.

Next day, the closing attorney calls me. It turns out the agent had closed the deal, added her last name to the escrow check, and gotten a person at her bank to cash it for cash. The attorney is so angry I can picture the steam coming out of his ears. "She fucked with my escrow account! SHE FUCKED WITH MY ESCROW ACCOUNT!!!"

The attorney had to issue a new check. We reported the agent to the commission, and she lost her license. The story got out and no real estate office would hire her anyway. The bank fired her and the person who cashed the check for cash.
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  #69  
Old 01-10-2017, 03:17 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is online now
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It's Official!

Quote:
Originally Posted by BobArrgh View Post
I don't mean to pile on when a mistake has been made, but this one was just too good to pass up. Behold, caganer:

I have now seen everything!
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  #70  
Old 01-11-2017, 03:56 AM
t-bonham@scc.net t-bonham@scc.net is offline
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A couple pointless crimes, medically related:

I left my car unlocked in a shopping center parking lot while I ran into a store to pick up something. When I came out, missing from the passenger seat was the small shopping bag from an exclusive, expensive downtown store. It contained ... a fecal sample jar that I was going to drop off at the hospital lab.

Another time, I was recovering in the hospital after emergency hernia surgery, and the senior nurse told me about an incident with some of her student nurses. The hospital had a dorm for nursing students, located about a block away, through a wooded path alongside the river. One night, as they were walking down this path to go back to the dorm, 2 of her young nursing students were confronted by a man who jumped out of the bushes and flashed them. Now these students were doing their rotation in the hernia surgery ward, and had spent most of their day shaving & disinfecting mens' groins prepping for hernia surgery. That flasher certainly didn't get the response he wanted -- one nurse just said "I'm off duty." and the other just laughed.
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  #71  
Old 01-11-2017, 06:36 AM
JKellyMap JKellyMap is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky812 View Post
Back in high school some guy hanging out around the soccer fields decided he would drop his pants in front of my girlfriend's gym class and flash them his junk. Instead of screaming and running away, their coach yelled "Get him girls!" and they easily overtook him and gave him quite a beating until the police arrived.
Your "Get him girls!" is missing a comma! Upon first reading, I totally took this to mean "Help that guy acquire several girlfriends!" -- either because his behavior was so pathetic and the coach felt sorry for him, or because his "package" was so impressive the coach thought various girls should enjoy the privilege of the guy's company.
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  #72  
Old 01-11-2017, 07:59 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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A friend who is a bank teller has been held up twice in her career, both times by the same person!

She was held up and the guy was caught and convicted. After serving his sentence, he returned to the same bank, same teller, and tried again on the same day he was released. He didn't even bother to change clothes (they had video of him being released).
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  #73  
Old 01-11-2017, 09:45 AM
Sparky812 Sparky812 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by JKellyMap View Post
Your "Get him girls!" is missing a comma! Upon first reading, I totally took this to mean "Help that guy acquire several girlfriends!" -- either because his behavior was so pathetic and the coach felt sorry for him, or because his "package" was so impressive the coach thought various girls should enjoy the privilege of the guy's company.
Oops! I suppose it would.
Actually, they tacked him in the street and kept him "subdued" until the cops arrived. The girls told me he quite very relieved to see the cops. I'm sure he still has some 30 year old scars from their soccer cleats.
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  #74  
Old 01-11-2017, 10:54 AM
Thuringwethil Thuringwethil is offline
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Not so much dumb as ironic. When I was in seminary one of the required courses was ethics. One of the textbooks for the course was Situation Ethics by Joseph Fletcher. I left my copy in the classroom one afternoon and when I came back to get it, it was gone.
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  #75  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:07 PM
DesertDog DesertDog is offline
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Originally Posted by BobArrgh View Post
I don't mean to pile on when a mistake has been made, but this one was just too good to pass up. Behold, caganer:

This was a term I was unfamiliar with until now. Wish I could say the same.

I didn't witness the crime but the aftermath. About 10-am one Saturday I went to my favorite model railroad hobby shop. Parked in front of the store were two cop cars. Since the shop was in a strip mall with a liquor store next door, I thought nothing of it but on entering the shop, from way way people were standing around in knots talking quietly, it was apparent that's where the cops were. Before I got an answer to my "What's going on?" a young guy in handcuffs was frog-marched out of the office along with a backpack being carried by one of the officers.

Turned out that at one of the hobby shops about two miles away a guy dropped his wife off at the back about 7-am to do the books. When he passed by the front of the store, he noticed the big window was smashed. Concerned for his wife he stopped and stuck his head through the empty frame which is when the stupid burglar alarm finally went off. The police and owner were called and the only thing taken was a G-scale (large) trainset on display. The owner called all of the railroad hobby shops in the vicinity with a description.

Sure enough, shortly after my shop opened at 9, in walks this kid who hauls out a loose G-scale trainset out of his backpack and asks if the shop would like to buy it. "Sure. Lemme take it in the back to show the boss so's he can set a price for it."

Kid waited for more than twenty minutes before the cops showed up.
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  #76  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:40 PM
aceplace57 aceplace57 is offline
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I bought the CRC Handbook of Engineering Tables while I was at electronics school. It was the full book with physics and chemistry. Huge. Weighed at least 12 lbs. I was planning ahead for engineering school. Which never happened.

I never used it. It took up closet space for 15 years. I donated it to the physics Dept at my local university. They set it up (on a stand) in one of their labs. A Nice reference book that all the students can use.

Someone stole it within a week.

I always wondered why. A book like that has very little practical use.

Today that would all be on a CD ROM.

Last edited by aceplace57; 01-11-2017 at 12:44 PM..
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  #77  
Old 01-11-2017, 12:53 PM
aceplace57 aceplace57 is offline
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Pretty sure this is the CRC that I had. 2670 pages. Except mine was from 1979.

We were about to graduate from this 2 year course with an Associate degree in Electronics. The teacher said we could order the book at a discount. At least half the graduating class ordered one. We had no idea how big it was or how specialized a book it is.

Makes a great boat anchor.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/14987...DHYYHH4MVFMVMA

Last edited by aceplace57; 01-11-2017 at 12:57 PM..
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  #78  
Old 01-11-2017, 01:12 PM
IvoryTowerDenizen IvoryTowerDenizen is online now
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I had the 1986 or the 1987 CRC Handbook for Chemistry and Physics. Used it a lot in college. Moved that sucker to grad school with me. Never moved it again.
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  #79  
Old 01-11-2017, 01:19 PM
HeyHomie HeyHomie is offline
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When I was in college, I had a hunk-of-junk 1979 Datsun 210 parked on the street. It had cheap "sheepskin" seat covers that I bought at a head shop over the seats. Lacking a clock or radio, I'd duct-taped a $1 drug-store digital watch to the dashboard. I had about a buck fifty in loose change in the cup holders.

Some jackass stole the seat covers and watch, and left the change.
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  #80  
Old 01-11-2017, 02:06 PM
jaycat jaycat is offline
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Someone broke into my apartment and stole (among other things) a box made of cherry wood that probably looked like it contained jewelry. Instead it contained the ashes of my late dog Zoe.

Zoe was always full of tricks when she was alive. We like to imagine the surprised faces of the thieves opening the box. We call it "Zoe's last prank."
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  #81  
Old 01-11-2017, 02:12 PM
Corner Case Corner Case is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TriPolar View Post
Someone took the ashtray and about $3 in change from my car.
Apparently, cars in America are required to have $3 in change in an ashtray or cupholder -- strange.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sparky812 View Post
Actually, they tacked him in the street and kept him "subdued" until the cops arrived. The girls told me he quite very relieved to see the cops. I'm sure he still has some 30 year old scars from their soccer cleats.
{Bolding & italics mine} How did the cops get him up after the girls nailed him? -- Uh, maybe my statement needs some commas too - or something
Quote:
Originally Posted by aceplace57 View Post
I bought the CRC Handbook of Engineering Tables ... A book like that has very little practical use.
I disagree! Mine is in my collection of reference books I never open. Makes the bookcase look very nice!

Last edited by Corner Case; 01-11-2017 at 02:14 PM..
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  #82  
Old 01-12-2017, 09:12 AM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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It's not really a crime, but sometime stupid nevertheless.

Not me, but when I was working security on campus I was friends with a campus policewoman.

One day she had her baby in a stroller in a department store, and was looking at something when she noticed that the stroller was missing. There was some guy taking it away, with the baby on board, and then claimed that it was a "joke." Haha funny.

Except she had her off duty weapon out and pointed at him. The city officers called in to assist decided that the experience of being booked may help him understand the inappropriateness of such jokes in the future.
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  #83  
Old 01-12-2017, 10:05 AM
DesertDog DesertDog is offline
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Originally Posted by aceplace57 View Post
Pretty sure this is the CRC that I had. 2670 pages. Except mine was from 1979.

We were about to graduate from this 2 year course with an Associate degree in Electronics. The teacher said we could order the book at a discount. At least half the graduating class ordered one. We had no idea how big it was or how specialized a book it is.

Makes a great boat anchor.

https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/14987...DHYYHH4MVFMVMA
Wow. You can buy it or rent it for Kindle. I've never seen a Kindle rental before.
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  #84  
Old 01-12-2017, 11:24 AM
Jennshark Jennshark is offline
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Last summer I left my car unlocked in the driveway due to an alarm short that went off every night around 3am.

While the thief did get my radar detector, he also snagged a plastic bag containing a nasty old toilet seat I was taking to Home Depot for a size match. Wish I coulda seen reaction when he opened the bag!

In his wilder says my brother got shitfaced and drove his motorcycle into a bar and did doughnuts until the bouncer tore him off the bike. I think he got 30 days for that stunt.
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  #85  
Old 01-12-2017, 08:01 PM
usedtobe usedtobe is offline
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I once dated a woman with a kid from a failed relationship (to put it mildly).

Kid was sent to live with his father - who had been buying up marginal rental properties and had finally nailed a very nice apartment building.
There was a very curious transaction of him "selling" the building to his 25 yr old son for about 1/5 of its market value (they both lived in the building). Property taxes are set by sales price.
This is the only conceivable reason for this transaction (father was a very "cost conscious" person).

The kid wants to marry - under CA law, if he were to die intestate, the wife would get the property, not the father.

The kid dies of an OD in a motel room. One of those motels which do not call the cops when they find a dead body.

Father and friend* remove body. Father builds a box, puts the body in box and tries to make it disappear.

If I give any more info, it would take about 3 seconds to ID me, so I am not going to go further.



* - remember that joke about friends and moving bodies? Not so funny any more, is it?

Last edited by usedtobe; 01-12-2017 at 08:02 PM..
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  #86  
Old 01-12-2017, 08:08 PM
usedtobe usedtobe is offline
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The wife "wrote" a book about this.

I do not know how the court ruled on the civil case of "who gets the building?".

It is just too pathetic to look into.

I have no idea why I chose that particular day to check the news from where I used to live (thought I was going to say "used to be", didn't you?) .

A day (not to mention a week or month, as was more common) to pull up that particular site.
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  #87  
Old 01-12-2017, 08:32 PM
dalej42 dalej42 is online now
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In college, my rental house was broken into. They took a bottle of Johnnie Walker Red and a bag of flour. I could understand a gutter drunk breaking into a college student's apartment desperate for liquor, but I don't understand the flour. There was plenty of food left untouched.
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  #88  
Old 01-12-2017, 11:57 PM
TokyoBayer TokyoBayer is offline
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My mother had some checks stolen from a checkbook she had accidentally left at her work. The cleaning staff member wrote a check to herself and deposited it in her own account with an obviously forged signature.
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  #89  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:06 AM
Melbourne Melbourne is offline
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Originally Posted by jaycat View Post
Someone broke into my apartment and stole (among other things) a box made of cherry wood that probably looked like it contained jewelry. Instead it contained the ashes of my late dog Zoe.

Zoe was always full of tricks when she was alive. We like to imagine the surprised faces of the thieves opening the box. We call it "Zoe's last prank."
My mothers friend (medical stuedent) had the skull stolen from the front seat of her car, back in the 40's when Chicago crims were more superstitious than they are now.. Nice box. Whoever stole it opened the box about 20 yards down the street, saw what was inside, and just left.

Last edited by Melbourne; 01-13-2017 at 01:06 AM..
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  #90  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:07 AM
Melbourne Melbourne is offline
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Originally Posted by Left Hand of Dorkness View Post
I join the clap.

My roommate once had someone break into his car and steal his running shoes. They left their beat up crappy old sneakers behind in their place, which somehow didn't make him feel any better.
My home too. And a bottle containing about $50 change. He went out the back window as I came in the front door, but he left his old worn sneakers parked just in front of the wardrobe, where he'd stepped out of them to step into something better. I guess the cops could have done a DNA check on the sneakers, or fingerprinted the back window, but they didn't.

Also, just by the way, a workmate had his car stolen from the railway station where he left it parked each day. It wasn't a very good car. They brought it back to the railway station two days later and stole something better.
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  #91  
Old 01-13-2017, 01:10 AM
Melbourne Melbourne is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by t-bonham@scc.net View Post
That flasher certainly didn't get the response he wanted -- one nurse just said "I'm off duty." and the other just laughed.
Another nurse, this would be 40 years ago: "I've seen much bigger ones than that."

Last edited by Melbourne; 01-13-2017 at 01:11 AM..
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  #92  
Old 01-13-2017, 02:26 AM
Magicicada Magicicada is offline
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Who among us has not stolen our husband's prescription pain pills and then, when he tried to stop us from getting in the car and driving under the influence of said pain pills, has not retaliated by throwing a lawn ornament at him?*

*Me. I have not ever done this. But I know someone who has.

Also, a neighbor got evicted from the apartment building where we were living. This eviction was due to her not having paid rent for several months. She had ample warning of the eviction and could have moved sooner but refused to leave her tomato plants behind. During the eviction it was discovered that she had hooked into our electricity and another neighbor's gas line. She also made a late-night trip back to break into her old apartment and vandalize the post-her remodeling job. She was ordered not to come back onto the property again. Some months later, I planted flowers in the bed out front, working around some perennials that were already there. One day I went out to admire my flowers, and discovered about half a dozen evenly spaced holes. I had to stare at them for several seconds before I finally realized she had come back and gotten her flowers.
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  #93  
Old 01-13-2017, 07:34 AM
Sigene Sigene is offline
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Posts: 2,139
someone stole a shower from me

I came home, the screen was off the window, items on the desk were knocked over, nothing was missing.

But the shower was wet, the soap and shampoo had been moved and the towel was still damp.

Last edited by Sigene; 01-13-2017 at 07:34 AM..
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  #94  
Old 01-13-2017, 07:49 AM
John DiFool John DiFool is offline
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A would be car thief broke into my car one night c. 12 years ago.

My stereo had one of those removable/replaceable pop off front display face plate things.

He took that-and a stack of CD's in a CD case.

Maintenance at the apt. complex here found the face plate, and I was able to pop it right back in-worked just as well as it did before, overnight dew or not.

Never did find the CD's. Without the cases they originally came in they would be no good to a used CD store. Since some were rare and/or valued, I was more POed at their loss than I would have been getting a replacement front plate for the stereo.
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  #95  
Old 01-13-2017, 07:56 AM
asterion asterion is offline
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Location: Albuquerque, NM
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My favorite that I saw was when I was working at a single owner gas station in college. The cops were using a corner of the parking lot to run seat belt enforcement, which I believe had just become a primary reason that they could pull someone over. So it's a slow day and I'm watching the cops pull people over from time to time and cite them in the lot. Then they pull a guy over for not wearing his belt. Apparently they had enough probable cause or perhaps an outstanding warrant or the like to ask him to get out (this was the middle of the morning) and search the car. They start looking, and one of the cops pulls out a half-full bottle of whiskey. A little more searching, and now there's a bag of something (couldn't guess at the drug from the distance) pulled out as well. Guy is cuffed and driven away and eventually a tow truck shows up to remove the car.

Moral of the story: If you're doing other illegal things while driving, wear your seat belt.
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  #96  
Old 01-13-2017, 08:46 AM
Doctor Jackson Doctor Jackson is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sigene View Post
someone stole a shower from me
But who among us has not taken a shower at some point? First stone and all...
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  #97  
Old 01-13-2017, 08:55 AM
FairyChatMom FairyChatMom is online now
I'm nice, dammit!
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Location: Southern Merrylande
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Which brings to mind my daughter's favorite joke when she was a pre-teen.

Daughter: Ask me if I took a shower.

Victim: Did you take a shower?

Daughter: Why? Is one missing?

<hilarity ensues>

Apologies for the hijack...
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  #98  
Old 01-13-2017, 09:59 AM
GESancMan GESancMan is offline
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Join Date: Mar 2008
One night, at the pizza place I used to run, a group of guys spent a few hours drinking beer. As they were leaving, one of them walked up to the front counter, grabbed the tip jar, said "Later!" and bolted.

My first instinct was to chase him, but I thought better of it. He was a former employee, and it hadn't been that long since he'd quit. So I went back to my office and found his file, and supplied the police with his name, address, phone number, SSN, etc.

As I remember it, it still took them six months or more to catch up with him.
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  #99  
Old 01-13-2017, 10:51 AM
Calatin Calatin is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2008
My car was broken into with a screwdriver, and the thieves took my car manual, some work papers and unscrewed the three pens I had in my car. The whole thing left me baffled, but especially the pens being unscrewed. I understood just grabbing what you could and making a run for it, but the fact that they took the time to disassemble my pens and leave the contents behind just really confused me.

It wasn't until months later that I learned that people hide drugs in pens, and they were looking to see if I had anything stashed away.
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  #100  
Old 01-13-2017, 12:12 PM
Sam Spayed PI Sam Spayed PI is offline
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Join Date: Jul 2015
In the good old days, it used to be quite common for people to steal car antennae (why, I can't tell you). Consequently, it was also quite common for people to replace their antennae with wire coat hangers (which work remarkably well, actually).

Since my dad parked our car on the street in New York City, it wasn't long before the antenna was snapped off, so he replaced it with a coat hanger.

Someone stole the coat hanger.
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