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  #51  
Old 11-24-2003, 08:40 AM
Eve is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Thea Logica
The melody of the song you all are quoting is ripped from a hymn sung at the Entry of the Bridegroom (celebrated on Wednesday and/or Thursday of Holy Week in the Greek Rite Churches.)
Do what you're telling us is that all visiting non-Greek Orthodox Christians either fall on the floor laughing hysterically when that tuned is played, or injure themselves in a noble attempt not to?
  #52  
Old 11-24-2003, 08:49 AM
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Gentleman's agreement. I don't laugh at the familiar music, they don't ask why my practices resemble Catholicism or Eastern Orthodox but aren't.
  #53  
Old 11-24-2003, 04:05 PM
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[b]All the girls in France
Do the hula-hula dance
And the way they shake
Is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead
They put roses in its head
When the roses die
They put diamonds in its eye
When the diamonds break
It's the year of 68![\b]
  #54  
Old 11-24-2003, 04:24 PM
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My version doesn't involve France! I must have hung out with unusual children.

In the land of Oz, the women don't wear bras
But the men don't care, cause they don't wear underwear

OR

In the land of Oz, the women don't wear bras,
and the men go around with their dooeys (dewies sp?) hanging down.
  #55  
Old 09-05-2010, 11:41 AM
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I heard:
All the girls in France do the Hoochie Coochie dance/
And the dance they do is enough to kill a Jew/
And the Jew they kill is enough to take a pill/
And the pill he takes is enough to kill a snake...
That is about all I remember...
  #56  
Old 09-05-2010, 11:49 AM
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What kind of dance do zombies do?


And on seeing this thread, I thought Eve was back.
  #57  
Old 09-05-2010, 12:03 PM
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runner pat, me too. Her user statistics show she hasn't even read the boards (while logged in, at least) since January, although her last post was in early 2007.
  #58  
Old 09-05-2010, 12:15 PM
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We're no longer automatically closing zombie threads, so I'll leave this open for now.

twickster, MPSIMS moderator
  #59  
Old 09-05-2010, 07:38 PM
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This reminded me of a scene in The Office that went something like this:

Andy: (starts singing the song)
Angela: Andy! Stop singing about naked women! (Looks disgusted) And France!
  #60  
Old 09-05-2010, 08:26 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
And on seeing this thread, I thought Eve was back.
Me too. I was all like "Huh?" and then I was like "Oh," and then I was like "Aww."
  #61  
Old 09-05-2010, 08:43 PM
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Me three. I was giddy for a second, then said, Oh, probably a zombie. Boy, we all miss Eve!
  #62  
Old 09-05-2010, 10:23 PM
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Eve?
Oh.
  #63  
Old 09-05-2010, 10:25 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by runner pat View Post
And on seeing this thread, I thought Eve was back.
Yeah, me too. Damn.
  #64  
Old 09-05-2010, 10:44 PM
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permit me to post a most illogical version...

"There's a place in France where the ladies jump and dance,
And the men walk around with their wing-wongs hanging down...."

Down?
DOWN?

even at 13 I knew they should be UP!
  #65  
Old 09-06-2010, 12:01 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by twickster View Post
We're no longer automatically closing zombie threads, so I'll leave this open for now.
Yes, but a message to any newbies who happen into this thread.

Don't mess with Eve.
  #66  
Old 09-07-2010, 03:44 AM
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I always thought it was "but the men don't care / Cause they're wearing underwear."

As in, the men can see the "naked" ladies dancing through the hole in the wall, but the naked ladies turn out to be falsely advertised - they're actually wearing underwear. So the men end up not caring about looking through the hole in the wall.

I dunno. It made sense to me when I was 8.
  #67  
Old 09-07-2010, 12:27 PM
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The one version I recall (from the early 1960s) that hasn't been cited yet was:

All the girls in France
Wear tissue-paper pants,
But the boys don't care,
'Cause they're guaranteed to tear.
  #68  
Old 09-07-2010, 01:43 PM
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Courtesy of my mother-in-law:

"Oh, they wear no pants
in the hootchie-cootchie dance"

Unfortunately, that's as much as she knows of that version.
  #69  
Old 09-07-2010, 01:54 PM
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You guys had all the fun.

We sang, "Davy, Davy Crocket. King of the wild frontier." Didn't think about France too much.

Except for
"I see London.
I see France.
I see ______'s underpants."
  #70  
Old 09-07-2010, 02:53 PM
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What I learned:

"There's a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance
And the way they shake
Is enough to kill a snake
When the snake is dead
They put roses in its head
When the roses die
They put diamonds in its eye
When the diamonds turn to glass
They put silver up its ass
When the silver falls out
They begin to scream and shout."
  #71  
Old 09-07-2010, 03:36 PM
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Fortunately, since this thread was started, KeSha has settled the question of the definitive lyrics.
  #72  
Old 09-08-2010, 07:59 AM
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The version I (vaguely) remember from a Glaswegian childhood was:

"All the girls in Spain, wash their knickers in champagne,
All the boys in France, do the hula hula dance,
And the dance they do, is enough to tie a shoe,
And the shoe they tie, is enough to tell a lie,
And the lie they tell, is enough to ring a bell,
And the bell they ring, goes ding a ling a ling!"
  #73  
Old 09-08-2010, 10:12 AM
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Here's the version I learned from my neighbor some time in the 70's

There's a place in France
Where the ladies do a dance
And the dance that they do
Was written by a Jew
And the Jew didn't know how to dance
So they shot him in the pants
And the pants that he wore
Cost a $1.94
[basso profundo] plus tax [/basso profundo]
  #74  
Old 09-08-2010, 10:25 AM
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I'm surprised not to see the version we sang as kids. It's much shorter than what you all have here:

All the girls in France
Don't wear any underpants
When they climb the pole
You can see their hiney-hole.
  #75  
Old 12-12-2011, 09:54 PM
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Never too late


I am joining this "conversation" a few years late & I also must have sung this song many years before all of you did. When I was a kid & sang the song we sang:
All the girls in France
Do the hula hula dance
And the way they shake it's enough to kill a snake

When the snake is dead they put diamonds in its' head
When the diamonds are gone they put rubies in its' eyes
When the rubies are gone it is 1969!


Thus you know can extrapolate this song was around since at least the early 1960's.
  #76  
Old 12-13-2011, 09:44 AM
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There's a place called Mars
where the women smoke cigars
and the men there wear bikinis
and the children drink martinis
there's a place called Mars..

UT
  #77  
Old 12-13-2011, 09:55 AM
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What's with all the Jew-killing? Should I stay the heck away from naked French ladies?

I only heard the song once, in camp, and I only remember fragments.

In the land of Mars
Where the (babies?) (ladies?) smoke cigars
And the boys wear bikinis
And the (girls?) (Babies?) something something...

And then I'm pretty sure there was something about snake with glass in its eye, and the year 1999.

Even though I only heard it that once, the tune captivated me for years.
  #78  
Old 12-13-2011, 11:53 AM
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A parallel thread on same the topic.

Last edited by hogarth; 12-13-2011 at 11:54 AM.
  #79  
Old 12-13-2011, 12:01 PM
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Eight years and two zombifications, and I still haven't seen the version I knew in grade school:

There's a place on Mars where the ladies smoke cigars
The cigars they smoke are enough to tell a joke
And the joke they tell is enough to take a pill
And the pill they take is enough to fry a snake
And the snake they fry is enough to tell a lie
And the lie they tell is enough to go to

(here the tune changes)
Hell-o Operator, get me number nine
And if you disconnect me, I'll kick your fat
Behind the (something something) on a piece of broken glass
Little Orphan Annie fell right on her
Ask me no more questions, I'll tell you no more lies!
  #80  
Old 12-13-2011, 12:27 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bughunter View Post
You mean this one?

Miss Lucy had a steamboat
The steamboat had a bell
Miss Lucy went to heaven
The steamboat went to
HELL-o operator
Give me number nine
If you disconnect me
I'll kick your big be-
HIND the frigerator
There was a piece of glass
Miss Lucy fell upon it
And cut her big ol'
ASS me no more questions
Tell me no more lies
The boys are in the bathroom
zipping up their
FLIES are in the meadow
The bees are in the park
Miss Lucy and her boyfriend
Are kissing in the dark...


Gawd, I'm ashamed I remember that much...

I'm going to be a terrible influence on my children.
That reminded me of this performance.
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  #81  
Old 05-26-2014, 08:18 PM
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My version is a little inappropriate but this is what I thought it was...


All the girls in France do the hoochie coochie dance
When they slide up and down the pole
You can see their butthole
  #82  
Old 05-26-2014, 08:36 PM
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Ew! Zombie buttholes! And...it doesn't scan. (Well, it doesn't seem to scan...)

"When they slide up the pole...you can see their naughty hole..." Okay, poor lyrics, but the syllable count matches. In this kind of songwriting, scansion counts.
  #83  
Old 06-01-2019, 02:19 AM
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Our version of the hoochie koochie


Learned this in elementary school, at my private Christian school no less. The wonder and joy of repeating such lewd lyrics had us giggling for hours!

All the girls in France
Go without underpants
All the boys go 'round
With their ding dongs hanging out....

That was it. That was enough. Would have gotten us killed if our parents found out.
  #84  
Old 06-01-2019, 02:55 AM
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There’s a place in France where the alligators dance.
And the dance they do was written by Magoo.
But Magoo couldn’t dance, so they kicked him in the pants.
And the pants he wore cost a dollar sixty-four
(Plus tax).

That’s the way I learned it. I’m beginning to suspect that kids in my neighborhood were fed a bowdlerized version. And yet, to this day, when I go shopping for pants, I consider my ideal price point to be $1.64.
  #85  
Old 06-01-2019, 07:07 AM
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AFAIK, the name of the song is "The Streets of Cairo." The dirty lyrics I learned as a kid include:

There's a place in France
where the women wear no pants.
But the men don't care,
'cause they wear no underwear.

There's a place in France
where the women wear no pants.
And the men wear bikinis,
and the women suck their weenies.

And:

There's a place in France
where the women wear no pants.
And the men walk 'round
with their dickies hanging down.
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Last edited by terentii; 06-01-2019 at 07:11 AM.
  #86  
Old 06-01-2019, 05:18 PM
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DAMN, when I saw this I thought Eve was posting again.

Carry on.
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