Is a Wheelchair a Turn-off?

[MPB in Salt Lake]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

I also know you're the Handicapped Expert because your husband has a limp, but I hope you realize other people know disabled people, right? Like, some of us have them in our immediate family, so please stand down with this "I understand his pain, and therefore will never criticize him; everyone else can suck it" nonsense. It was old a long time ago.

Isn't Broomstick the esteemed SDMB member who has said that on several different occasions that servers in restaurants have flat-out, openly, unashamedly told her that her husband and his wheelchair were physically repulsive to all of the other diners and so therefore requested him to leave, though she was more than welcome to stay and enjoy her meal?

Does this not happen daily to all of the people who are selfless enough to publicly accompany their friends & family who are in wheelchairs?

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Erm, now granted I can only speak for one mean old lady, I'm not sure that people's beef with you is they don't believe [/i]what you say. You've come across to me as, if nothing else, pretty sincere. All shit talking aside, good stuff testifying in from of the MI House about this.

But seriously, just read the article -- no hyperbole? EVERY. SINGLE. Parking lot. You EVER go in. Every. Single. Time. Has someone illegally parked in handicapped spaces? I realize this is a hijack, so feel free not to respond. But then again, you started it, so you have to answer me.

The only stipulation I would make to my original claim of every parking lot, my ONLY one, would be to say all parking lots larger than 10 spaces or so. Not tiny parking lots. So yes, I WAS guilty of SOME hyperbole, I guess. You got me. Busted.

[brickbacon]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

I stick up for myself and my rights-andvthe rights of other disabled people. If I don't no one will. If that means someone can't "forget that I'm in a chair", well I don't think id want that anyway.

I think your general AIMS are admirable. What I would imagine would be tiresome is the strident and myopic way you seem to go about achieving those goals. It just seems like most of the your energy and interests revolve around the chair. Like I said, I don't know you, but your your advocacy, while well meaning and laudable, would have the effect making a relationship with you about your disability. It's like the difference between dating a Jewish guy and dating a rabbi.

Originally Posted by Broomstick

Jamie takes a lot of flak for being an uppity cripple but that's the only way there is going to be change in this world. Not everyone who is disabled is able (due to lack of energy/stamina, resources, or ability to communicate) to fight this fight. He doesn't have to do it, even if there's something in it for him, and I for one had some admiration for his willingness to stand up for himself even if at times I think his methods could be better.

He is an uppity cripple (to use your verbiage). That's not a bad thing in this case as he is making life better for others, but I can see how many people would find that off putting in a dating situation.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by MeanOldLady

Also, no one in their right mind is going to scoff at him for sticking up for the rights of the disabled.

There are quite a few people out there not in their right minds.

I know that in your mind if someone has a beef with a handicapped person acting like an asshole, it's because we're down on "uppity cripples," but maybe it's the assholery we have a beef with.

Nonesense - I have no problem telling someone they're being an asshole, including Ambivalid. I just lack the kneejerk response that if he's posting something he's automatically wrong and offensive.

I also know you're the Handicapped Expert because your husband has a limp, but I hope you realize other people know disabled people, right? Like, some of us have them in our immediate family, so please stand down with this "I understand his pain, and therefore will never criticize him; everyone else can suck it" nonsense. It was old a long time ago.

Please get over yourself - I very clearly did not refer to EVERYONE. There are some posters who have flat out said I'm delusional. Unless you were one of them that comment doesn't refer to you.

I've criticized him plenty, and no, I don't understand every disability. Mind you, my husband doesn't have "just" a limp, he too has an SCI and while he can still walk he very much has had other effects from it than a mere limp. But let's just diminish the scope of problems someone has to cope with, shall we? Because it makes life ever so much better.

[Broomstick]

Originally Posted by MPB in Salt Lake

Isn't Broomstick the esteemed SDMB member who has said that on several different occasions that servers in restaurants have flat-out, openly, unashamedly told her that her husband and his wheelchair were physically repulsive to all of the other diners and so therefore requested him to leave, though she was more than welcome to stay and enjoy her meal?

Nope can't be me - my husband doesn't use a wheelchair. I don't know where this notion came that he does as I've been quite clear for over a decade here that he doesn't use one and is able to walk one his own.

So it's someone else. Please stop confusing me with that person.

I've never seen/been with someone in a wheelchair that was refused seating in a restaurant, it is not something I've personally experienced or witnessed.

[MPB in Salt Lake]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

Nope can't be me - my husband doesn't use a wheelchair. I don't know where this notion came that he does as I've been quite clear for over a decade here that he doesn't use one and is able to walk one his own.

So it's someone else. Please stop confusing me with that person.

I've never seen/been with someone in a wheelchair that was refused seating in a restaurant, it is not something I've personally experienced or witnessed.

My mistake; I am sorry for mixing you up with someone else.

[April R]

A hot guy in a wheel chair is a hot guy.
Just one lady's opinion, but I'd definitely hit it
http://www.easier.com/uploads/cache/...lympic-bid.jpg
http://users.eastlink.ca/~koolweb/an...s/image002.jpg
http://www.kinesiotapingafrica.co.za/galpic5.jpg
http://www.itftennis.com/media/133810/133810.JPG

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by brickbacon

I think your general AIMS are admirable. What I would imagine would be tiresome is the strident and myopic way you seem to go about achieving those goals. It just seems like most of the your energy and interests revolve around the chair. Like I said, I don't know you, but your your advocacy, while well meaning and laudable, would have the effect making a relationship with you about your disability. It's like the difference between dating a Jewish guy and dating a rabbi.



He is an uppity cripple (to use your verbiage). That's not a bad thing in this case as he is making life better for others, but I can see how many people would find that off putting in a dating situation.

So advocating for the expansion of disability laws before state Congress is "strident and myopic"? As far as the every-day stuff, its certainly not stuff that I go looking for; my god no. This is just the shit thrust in my face on a daily basis, and I cannot ignore it and pretend it doesn't go on.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by April R

A hot guy in a wheel chair is a hot guy.
Just one lady's opinion, but I'd definitely hit it
http://www.easier.com/uploads/cache/...lympic-bid.jpg
http://users.eastlink.ca/~koolweb/an...s/image002.jpg
http://www.kinesiotapingafrica.co.za/galpic5.jpg
http://www.itftennis.com/media/133810/133810.JPG

Nice.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by brickbacon

I think your general AIMS are admirable. What I would imagine would be tiresome is the strident and myopic way you seem to go about achieving those goals. It just seems like most of the your energy and interests revolve around the chair. Like I said, I don't know you, but your your advocacy, while well meaning and laudable, would have the effect making a relationship with you about your disability. It's like the difference between dating a Jewish guy and dating a rabbi.



He is an uppity cripple (to use your verbiage). That's not a bad thing in this case as he is making life better for others, but I can see how many people would find that off putting in a dating situation.

And girls that I meet don't have any idea of my advocacy or past incidents, and I AM capable of using dicretion and having "a life" at the same time. Let's be clear here, I DO date.

[MeanOldLady]

Originally Posted by Broomstick

Please get over yourself - I very clearly did not refer to EVERYONE. There are some posters who have flat out said I'm delusional. Unless you were one of them that comment doesn't refer to you.

What? No way am I going to get over someone so awesome.

Look, I have no personal beef with you, but when you say things like the flak Señor McGarry has taken was on account on him being "uppity," as if his detractors think he should just know his place as a dude in a wheelchair, my eyes can't help but to roll. That's really not it. I don't take any personal offense to what you say, but find some of your additions to these types of threads to be... not great.

But I don't even remember what we were talking about anymore. Yeah, wheelchairs. Yes, an obstacle, but not one insurmountable.

[olivesmarch4th]

Originally Posted by April R

A hot guy in a wheel chair is a hot guy.
Just one lady's opinion, but I'd definitely hit it
http://www.easier.com/uploads/cache/...lympic-bid.jpg
http://users.eastlink.ca/~koolweb/an...s/image002.jpg
http://www.kinesiotapingafrica.co.za/galpic5.jpg
http://www.itftennis.com/media/133810/133810.JPG

Especially #2. Yow.

[April R]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

Geez o pete. I shouldn't be surprised that you are once again completely misrepresenting what I said. I ABSOLUTELY did not do what you are claiming I did here.

Ambivalid has a point. elbows seems to be hell bent on picking on Ambivalid even when he isn't in a thread!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...6#post15784746

[Kaio]

Originally Posted by Modern Master

However, I've had handicapped people give me trouble for simply not holding the door for them.

Well, it IS rude not to hold the door for someone immediately behind you, able-bodied or not. That's not really a "handicapped" thing.

[taskmgr.exe]

Originally Posted by Ambivalid

if you are generally considered a "9 or 10", would you ever consider dating a guy in a wheelchair?

Yes. I'd definitely date you.

[smokey78]

I don't think so, but I got to wondering, what is the ratio of handicapped spaces to regular parking in lots? I saw a Walmart with ten empty spaces.

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by April R

Ambivalid has a point. elbows seems to be hell bent on picking on Ambivalid even when he isn't in a thread!

http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/...6#post15784746

My God. It's worse than I thought. I am runnin' overtime in that woman's head. Someone's got a crush...

[CanvasShoes]

Nope. Back when I was young and adorable I dated a guy in a wheelchair. I actually came on to him. Well, not really, I was too shy to approach him, so I asked his friend to introduce us (okay, okay I'm old).

It only went on for about 6 weeks of dating, but certainly didn't end because of his wheelchair.