Latest stupid commercial thread

[california jobcase]

What's with Geico and implied bestiality? First the one where the lady thinks the gecko is Stanley (presumably some other lizard she got frisky with) and now the girl who finds out Max the piggy can't take a hint.

[BobLibDem]

Originally Posted by california jobcase

What's with Geico and implied bestiality? First the one where the lady thinks the gecko is Stanley (presumably some other lizard she got frisky with) and now the girl who finds out Max the piggy can't take a hint.

That girl sounded ready for a good porkin'.

[Irishman]

Originally Posted by Finagle

a. Pretty girls opening up suicide doors on a car. They call them suicide doors for a reason. None of Lincoln's current cars appear to have suicide doors.

The Honda Element has a suicide door on the passenger side. It allows the entry on that side to open wide like a van but without the necessary space required for rails. There's no column between the two doors.

But the analogy was some visual similarity between the opening of the doors vs the current sunroof. Um, whatever.

c. A manual gear shifter that disappears. Does it retract into the console? Or are they advertising that they have automatic transmissions? Because I'd sort of expect that. (Actually, they apparently moved the shifter buttons to somewhere near the radio. Sounds like an engaging driving experience.)

It's definitely an ambiguous graphic. Not sure what it's trying to say. Where do you get they have shifter buttons?

f. Then there's a crash test where the air bag comes out of the driver's chest. This sounds only slightly safer than a Ridley Scott alien.
Maybe it's coming out of the seat belt? Better hope you haven't twisted it, then.

This is actually interesting. I'm trying to figure out if the intent is to spread the loading on the body to reduce impact damage from the belt itself. That seems a worthy concept. You shouldn't have your belt twisted, anyway.

Originally Posted by cjepson

I'm neither a Christian nor a Satanist, so I have no dog in this hunt, but I was still rather bemused to see that Mercedes Benz has apparently come to the conclusion that it's time to start using Satan to sell cars in America.

The tradition of taking an excerpt from a song that says the few words you want as your message, without any attention to what the song is about or the lyrics that follow that most people know, which might not be the message you want.

[quote=Gabing Gaboing;15930473]The commercial that I currently can't stand is the one for the Comfy Pillow or whatchacallit. It's a pillow with memory foam and gel beads and makes all your back problems go away.

The worst, though, is a man who speaks to us next to the cab of his "truck" which seems to basically be a pickup. He claims to have driven it for something like 30 years, then tells us that thanks to this pillow, "my back feels great, and my bottom feels great!" Bottom...really? It turns him into a soccer mom or a four-year-old. Next he will tell us all how he goes potty all by himself.

"Bottom" is a perfectly normal term to use for what you sit on, especially in polite company. It's not in league with such things as "potty" for using the restroom or "pee-pee" for penis.

[Troppus]

Is there a great commercial thread active? No? Can I just leave this amazingly sweet Chevrolet Traverse ad here?

[Ruffian]

Wow, Troppus, I just came to see if anyone posted about that ad here because a long time friend of mine (20+ years, though more of a casual acquaintance since high school) sang, whistled, and recorded the song you hear in the background himself.

He posted the ad on his Facebook, and we have all been heartily congratulating him on his darn sweet gig.

BUT...I confessed to him I found the ad creepy as hell. Still do.

[Son of a Rich]

Originally Posted by What the .... ?!?!

The H&R Block ad in which the lady claims to have read all 900 pages of the Obamacare bill.

Also the H&R Block commercial with the old bow tie guy mugging for the camera, shaking his jowls. It ends with the worst shit eating grin I've ever seen.

[Ambivalid]

This Centrum multivitamin commercial is so fucking stupid it makes me laugh. It's basically saying that because a study was done on the effects of multivitamins and the multivitamin used in the study was Centrum, that means Centrum is awesome. No mention at all as to the results of that study using Centrum.

[Irishman]

Originally Posted by california jobcase

What's with Geico and implied bestiality? First the one where the lady thinks the gecko is Stanley (presumably some other lizard she got frisky with) and now the girl who finds out Max the piggy can't take a hint.

It's a pattern of "extending the gimmick".

They start with a gimmick character. "Geico is not a Gekko".

They then reverse the gimmick. "Geico is sold by a Gekko."

They then extend the gimmick character into a person. Since the Gekko is a salesman, he has a boss, and has interactions with other people as if he's a person. Witness conversations with boss, pulling a wallet out of his pocket, etc.

The next logical extension is to project romantic interactions for the person-like version of the gimmick character. Ergo, lady mistakes Gekko for an old boyfriend.

Swap to pig.

Gimmick character: piggy yelling "Whee whee whee" all the way home.
Extend the gimmick: piggy yelling "whee" in ever more creative traveling scenarios.

Extend the gimmick: piggy starts talking as if he's a person, interacting with clueless people. Cue flight attendants.

Extend the gimmick: piggy goes on a date, driving his car. Clueless piggy doesn't realize his date has the hots for him.

Piggy driving car around gets pulled over by cop. I haven't actually watched this one, so I'm not certain what misunderstanding is supposed to be occurring in this ad.

It's called "beating a dead caveman horse".

[Irishman]

Ambivalid, agreed. It looks like that version is a short version of a longer commercial. There's a cut between mentioning the study and mentioning Centrum Silver. But as shown, that is a definite .

[Chanteuse]

Originally Posted by Jophiel

I like the "two things at once" ad though. Just for the way he shuts down that little girl.

*Watching a boy shake his head and arm simultaneously*
"I can do..."
"Hang on, I'm watching this."

Yeah, I like that one, too, mostly because the girl who says, "I am absolutely positive!" reminds me a LOT of my niece!

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by Irishman

Ambivalid, agreed. It looks like that version is a short version of a longer commercial. There's a cut between mentioning the study and mentioning Centrum Silver. But as shown, that is a definite .

Well the longer one isn't any better; I just used that link because it's what I quickly found online. The actual TV commercial is just as stupid.

[TonySinclair]

FedEx usually has pretty clever ads, but there's one that just sucks. Some guys are walking into a hotel lobby with their golf clubs, and they see their boss (with his back to them) checking in without clubs, so they start flinging their clubs away from them, making all kinds of noise and commotion, so their boss won't see them??? It's just idiotic.

[BrassyPhrase]

Originally Posted by Chanteuse

Yeah, I like that one, too, mostly because the girl who says, "I am absolutely positive!" reminds me a LOT of my niece!

I can't call that series stupid. I especially love the the little girl talking about being turned into a werewolf. "...and then you would be all 'wwrrwwwrrrww' which means, 'I wish I were a human again!' "

I honestly stop the DVR to watch that commercial when I'm fast forwarding.

[Tangent]

I also like the one with the little girl who just rambles on and on about "more, more, we want more." And the man finally responds, "I follow you."

[Ambivalid]

Originally Posted by Tangent

I also like the one with the little girl who just rambles on and on about "more, more, we want more." And the man finally responds, "I follow you."

Hilarious. I love that commercial.

[kayT]

Irishman, where I live "bottom"is exactly on a par with "potty".

[Uncle Jocko]

Originally Posted by BrassyPhrase

I can't call that series stupid. I especially love the the little girl talking about being turned into a werewolf. "...and then you would be all 'wwrrwwwrrrww' which means, 'I wish I were a human again!' "

I honestly stop the DVR to watch that commercial when I'm fast forwarding.

I like these too. The guy's deadpan reactions to the kids is hilarious. I really like in the "island made out of candy" one, when the girl says the showers could be hot fudge, he gives a very interested "Hmm" in reaction.

Not exactly commercials, but PSAs I have heard a lot on radio in my neck of the woods (and there is a TV version as well): they are to inform parents about choosing and using the proper car seat for their kids. Problem is, the yuppie scum parents you hear trading all their parenting knowledge in the first part of the spot is horribly condescending ("I knew that.""So obvious.""Totally obvious."). Then , to make matters worse, another parent not even involved with the group drops the bomb that most people don't know how to use child car seats correctly. Which leaves the yuppies (almost) speechless ("I think I knew that.""No. No, you didn't").

Those PSAs make me all bitey.

[dougie_monty]

Originally Posted by hogarth

The one that's been driving me nuts recently has Jeff Bridges (I think?) talking about Olympic "athaletes". Something about hearing the word "athalete" is like nails on a chalkboard to me. (Actually, nails on a chalkboard don't bother me, but metaphorically speaking...)

During the 1976 Olympics (in Montreal) Baskin-Robbins had a flavor of ice-cream called "Decathalemon."

[dougie_monty]

During the holidays I saw a car commercial which appeared to show a young man visiting his parents in a car that they see through an upstairs window. By the time he comes in the front door, his parents have sneaked down to the car and driven it away without him! They say, "He'll be fine." What if he should call the cops and report it stolen?

And the commercial for a hotel in Las Vegas with all the white furry animals--kikttens, rabbits, puppies, etc, running down corridors. At one point, a young woman with the coldest expression on her face closes a door on a little rabbit and walks away in a huff. What is this supposed to sell?

[Annie-Xmas]

After being blasted on both TV and radio with those damnable Michael Bolton commercials, you couldn't get me to sign up with Optimum if you put a gun to my head.

[campp]

Christian Mingle ads. What seems odd is the theme song where some guy sings "I want to fall in love with you..." I don't know about you, but wanting to fall in love with someone and actually doing it are two different things. I don't think anyone starts out thinking, "Hey, I'd sort of like to fall in love with that gal. I wonder if I should try?"

[Tess]

The Proactive commercial where one of the users says it's fading her dark spots, "Which is something a lot of women want these days."

Huh? Did women not care about permanent blemishes until just recently?

[sahirrnee]

The Medifast commercials where the old plump self tells the new skinny self how beautiful they are and the new skinny self thanks the old plump self for making the decision to lose weight.


I agree the song used for the Christian Mingle ads sucks. It sounds stupid, sappy and like it was written for pre teens.

[TonySinclair]

Geico has a whole series of radio ads out that are just excruciating to listen to. They all have the same stupid theme: A guy with a smartass voice says something you are insuring, say your car, wants to thank you, say by baking you a cake, for choosing Geico. And then he says in the tone of voice you would only use to someone you despise for being an idiot, "But it can't, because it doesn't have hands."

After you've heard one, you've heard them all, so they are just annoying. Worse, the whole idea is ripped off from a much better and funnier tire commercial that ran a couple of years ago.

[Jophiel]

Progressive has some terrible radio ads as well. They're advertising Progressive insurance for business purposes. The catch line is "Having Progressive on the road is like having Flo traveling with you."

The thing is, in each commercial Flo is horribly incompetent. She's with a plumber and trying to make up terminology, she's with an exterminator and nearly gets mauled by a badger and she's with a landscaper and cuts all the shrubs into cartoon animals. The take-away seems to be: Having Progressive on the road is like having a horrible coworker who screws up your jobs.

[Cuckoorex]

Originally Posted by Jophiel

Progressive has some terrible radio ads as well. They're advertising Progressive insurance for business purposes. The catch line is "Having Progressive on the road is like having Flo traveling with you."

The thing is, in each commercial Flo is horribly incompetent. She's with a plumber and trying to make up terminology, she's with an exterminator and nearly gets mauled by a badger and she's with a landscaper and cuts all the shrubs into cartoon animals. The take-away seems to be: Having Progressive on the road is like having a horrible coworker who screws up your jobs.

Maybe that's why you need the insurance: they'll send Flo to wreck your shit and you need a way to recoup your losses. Kind of like Mayhem, the guy who goes around wrecking everything with a smile on his face.

[Irishman]

Originally Posted by Tess

Huh? Did women not care about permanent blemishes until just recently?

No, but now there are products that can actually do something about it, rather than just cover up.

[Accidental Martyr]

The Pepsi Max commercial with Jeff Gordon test driving a car while in disguise is absolutely awful. They try to make it seem like a prank pulled on an actual car salesman and it just annoys the hell out of me.

[bmasters1]

That Lifestyle Lift ad w/Debby Boone is beyond stupid, song and all!

[Irishman]

Originally Posted by Accidental Martyr

The Pepsi Max commercial with Jeff Gordon test driving a car while in disguise is absolutely awful. They try to make it seem like a prank pulled on an actual car salesman and it just annoys the hell out of me.

What annoys me about that commercial - he goes to the makeup artist and says "I need to be unrecognizable so I can pull a prank." Except he is already unrecognizable to me. I wouldn't know him as a racecar driver, or even a taxi driver. He's just some joe off the street who presumably wants to buy a car. So no disguise is even needed.

[Sunspace]

Originally Posted by BrassyPhrase

But this one pisses me off b/c the logic is shit. (to me). Some chick at a roof concert, she's filming it on her phone. Then she sends it to like five other people--AT THE SAME CONCERT.

There's an app for that. So obviously someone thinks multi-angle recording is a good idea.

[Son of a Rich]

Originally Posted by Irishman

What annoys me about that commercial - he goes to the makeup artist and says "I need to be unrecognizable so I can pull a prank." Except he is already unrecognizable to me. I wouldn't know him as a racecar driver, or even a taxi driver. He's just some joe off the street who presumably wants to buy a car. So no disguise is even needed.

I'm amazed Jeff Gordon is in any commercials at all. I don't think I've ever seen any "celebrity" who's less telegenic.

[Achren]

Originally Posted by campp

Christian Mingle ads. What seems odd is the theme song where some guy sings "I want to fall in love with you..." I don't know about you, but wanting to fall in love with someone and actually doing it are two different things. I don't think anyone starts out thinking, "Hey, I'd sort of like to fall in love with that gal. I wonder if I should try?"

The problem is it's an (old) praise and worship song they re-purposed for that ad because the band is popular (in Christian circles). Not that that makes the song better. Those ads have always annoyed me.