The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > Thread Games

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #401  
Old 04-07-2017, 02:01 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Alex: I'm sure you get hit on all the time.
Leonard: Right. Because girls are always like: "Oooh, that guy owns two Star Trek uniforms and gets lots of ear infections. I gotta get me some of that."
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #402  
Old 04-07-2017, 02:52 PM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Leonard: You convinced me. Maybe tonight we should sneak in and shampoo her carpet?
Sheldon: You don't think that crosses a line?
Leonard: Yes! For God's sake, Sheldon, do I have to hold up a sarcasm sign every time I open my mouth?
Sheldon: You have a sarcasm sign?
Reply With Quote
  #403  
Old 04-07-2017, 07:37 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Shouldn't you be out with your gang spray painting equations on the side of buildings?
Reply With Quote
  #404  
Old 04-11-2017, 06:41 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
My my, the plot like my gravy thickens
Reply With Quote
  #405  
Old 04-12-2017, 02:26 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Everywhere you go, guys hit on you, even if I'm standing right there. And they're all taller than me. WHY IS EVERYONE TALLER THAN ME?
Reply With Quote
  #406  
Old 04-12-2017, 06:54 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Old, broken things are so much better than new things that work.
Reply With Quote
  #407  
Old 04-12-2017, 09:08 AM
eschereal eschereal is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Brooky View Post
Where are you going Lovey Dovey? Come back ~~~~I already ordered 20lbs of bird seed on Amazon!
Get back here, you stupid bird, so I can love you.
Reply With Quote
  #408  
Old 04-12-2017, 11:20 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 42,766
Jewelry? Seriously? Sheldon, you are the most shallow, self-centered person I have ever met! Do you really think another transparently manipulative - Oh, it's a tiara! Put it on me, put it on me, put it on me, put it on me.
Reply With Quote
  #409  
Old 04-12-2017, 07:10 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Howard: [talking about his new car] It's parked in 294.
Sheldon: I'm sorry, 294 is my parking spot.
Raj: You don't even drive.
Leonard: Maybe they'll reassigned it because you don't use it.
Sheldon: I don't use my nipples either, maybe they should reassign those.

Last edited by panache45; 04-12-2017 at 07:11 PM..
Reply With Quote
  #410  
Old 04-14-2017, 10:08 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Sheldon (to Leonard, who has decided to give up on Penny): Well, at least now you can retrieve the black box from the twisted, smoldering wreckage that was once your fantasy of dating her and analyze the data so you don't crash into Geek Mountain again.
Reply With Quote
  #411  
Old 04-14-2017, 12:04 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Bernadette: Gosh, Amy, I’m sensing a little hostility. Is it maybe because like Sheldon’s work, your sex life is also theoretical?
Reply With Quote
  #412  
Old 04-14-2017, 05:36 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
And he really does have [a girlfriend], you jerks on the comment board.
Reply With Quote
  #413  
Old 04-15-2017, 01:58 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Sheldon: [he picks up the tub of VapoRub and sits on the couch opposite Amy] Now, you may notice some tingling...
Amy: Oh, I’m counting on it!
Reply With Quote
  #414  
Old 04-15-2017, 06:55 PM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Just remember with great power comes great responsibility
Reply With Quote
  #415  
Old 04-15-2017, 07:33 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
Sheldon: [he picks up the tub of VapoRub and sits on the couch opposite Amy] Now, you may notice some tingling...
Amy: Oh, Iím counting on it!
You w-want to (voice cracks) rub something on my chest?
Reply With Quote
  #416  
Old 04-16-2017, 01:34 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
I can’t return these things if there’s chunks of duck all over them.
Reply With Quote
  #417  
Old 04-23-2017, 12:26 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Do you think we an out run him?

I don't need to out run him, I just need to out run you!
Reply With Quote
  #418  
Old 04-23-2017, 03:51 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
I’m not a stranger to dice games. I was the Temple Beth-El Hebrew School Yahtzee champion.
Reply With Quote
  #419  
Old 04-23-2017, 11:13 PM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Your desperate need for friendship makes you weak
Reply With Quote
  #420  
Old 04-23-2017, 11:45 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Penny: Oh, you poor thing. Is having a real-life girlfriend who has sex with you getting in the way of your board games?
Leonard: Little bit, yeah.
Reply With Quote
  #421  
Old 04-28-2017, 07:13 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Leonard (when Sheldon wakes him up again in the middle of the night): My life would be so much easier if I were a violent sociopath.
Reply With Quote
  #422  
Old 04-28-2017, 07:44 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Are you feeling insecure? Because that’s MY thing, and if you take it away, I don’t know what I’m bringing to this relationship.
Reply With Quote
  #423  
Old 05-06-2017, 10:46 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Why are there 2 wine glasses on the table?
Well.....I have 2 hands, and a bit of a drinking problem
Reply With Quote
  #424  
Old 05-06-2017, 03:36 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
The monkey in my tobacco study has taken to smoking a pipe. I'm supposed to remove his brain to examine, but it's hard because now he reminds me of my uncle.
Reply With Quote
  #425  
Old 05-10-2017, 07:40 PM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Oh thats a lot of incense~~or somebody set a hippie on fire!
Reply With Quote
  #426  
Old 05-10-2017, 08:53 PM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Just recently, I had to put VapoRub on Amy's chest. A year ago, that would've been unthinkable.
Reply With Quote
  #427  
Old 05-19-2017, 12:28 AM
Brooky Brooky is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Aug 2016
Penny: I'm just a blond monkey to you ain't I?

Sheldon: You said it
Reply With Quote
  #428  
Old 05-19-2017, 07:13 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Sheldon: It took me forever to get him on a bathroom schedule. He would go whenever the mood struck him.
Amy: Like a dog boy.
Sheldon: Exactly.
Reply With Quote
  #429  
Old 05-19-2017, 04:22 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Bernadette (drunk): Guess who won $100 playing craps? (shows Penny a chip)
Penny: That's a dollar.
Bernadette: Then guess who wildly over-tipped a cocktail waitress.
Reply With Quote
  #430  
Old 05-19-2017, 04:28 PM
Saltire Saltire is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: Seattle, WA, USA
Posts: 3,677
Penny: You're like a collectible action figure, and Ramona wants to collect you.

Sheldon: But Amy's already taken me out of my box and played with me!
Reply With Quote
  #431  
Old 05-20-2017, 04:32 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
I even stopped wearing lip gloss because you said it made my mouth look too slippery.
Reply With Quote
  #432  
Old 05-20-2017, 06:15 AM
Elendil's Heir Elendil's Heir is offline
SDSAB
 
Join Date: Jun 2004
Leonard (helping Althea with the crossword puzzle): One across is Aegean, eight down is Nabokov, 26 across is MCM, fourteen down is-- move your finger, phylum, which makes 14 across Port-au-Prince. See, Papa Doc's capital idea, that's Port-au-Prince. Haiti.
Reply With Quote
  #433  
Old 05-20-2017, 10:09 AM
Annie-Xmas Annie-Xmas is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: New Jersey
Posts: 42,766
Sheldon: Oh, hold on. While I’m comfortable speaking about science, I’m not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren. Better Google it.

Howard: What exactly are you looking up?

Sheldon: How do I get 12-year-old girls excited.

Leonard and Howard (together): No!
Reply With Quote
  #434  
Old 05-20-2017, 10:37 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Xmas View Post
Sheldon: Oh, hold on. While Iím comfortable speaking about science, Iím not sure I know how to spark the interest of schoolchildren. Better Google it.

Howard: What exactly are you looking up?

Sheldon: How do I get 12-year-old girls excited.

Leonard and Howard (together): No!
Another time, when he was interested in mines, he Googled "hot, dark and moist."

"Oh, look! there's a bunch of videos!"
Reply With Quote
  #435  
Old 05-20-2017, 10:40 AM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
The monkey in my tobacco study has taken to smoking a pipe. I'm supposed to remove his brain to examine, but it's hard because now he reminds me of my uncle.
Amy: You can get them [monkeys] addicted to harmful substances, remove their brains for study, but fling their own feces back at them, and suddenly you're unprofessional.
Reply With Quote
  #436  
Old 05-20-2017, 11:49 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
[Penny is performing on stage in A Streetcar Named Desire as Blanche DuBois]

Sheldon: When do we get to the part about the streetcars?
...
How can she remember all those lines, but as a waitress she can't remember "no tomato" on my hamburger?
Reply With Quote
  #437  
Old 05-20-2017, 12:56 PM
RivkahChaya RivkahChaya is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Quote:
Originally Posted by panache45 View Post
[Penny is performing on stage in A Streetcar Named Desire as Blanche DuBois]

Sheldon: When do we get to the part about the streetcars?
I did a scene from that in drama class when I was 14, and I was completely whooshed by the part about the streetcars too.
Reply With Quote
  #438  
Old 05-23-2017, 07:44 AM
panache45 panache45 is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Oct 2000
Location: NE Ohio (the 'burbs)
Posts: 37,974
Hello, female children. Allow me to inspire you with a story about a great female scientist. Polish born, French educated Madame Curie. Co-discover of radioactivity. She was a hero of science until her hair fell out, her vomit and stool became full with blood and she was poisoned to death by her own discovery. With a little hard work I see no reason why that can't also happen to any of you.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 09:32 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2017 Sun-Times Media, LLC.