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Old 10-01-2017, 08:54 AM
ioioio ioioio is offline
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Oh boy: children, flutes, semen

Flutes possibly contaminated with semen given to California students
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The Los Angeles Unified School District said it was cooperating in an investigation of alleged "inappropriate sexual conduct involving a musical performer" that affected at least 13 school districts.
I couldn't find any information about how the contamination was discovered.

It amazes me that people can still find new ways to be perverse and disgusting.
  #2  
Old 10-01-2017, 09:32 AM
cochrane cochrane is offline
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"This one time, at band camp..."
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Old 10-01-2017, 10:34 AM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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I have so many questions, that I'm not sure I want answered...
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Old 10-01-2017, 10:40 AM
Jackmannii Jackmannii is offline
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Wait'll the International Tuba Fest scandal breaks...
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Old 10-01-2017, 11:55 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Its odd that the authorities won't name the suspect or how this was discovered.

FTR...this began in Orange County. The local news aren't providing any concrete details and the story thus far seems sensational.
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Old 10-01-2017, 12:17 PM
WildBlueYonder WildBlueYonder is offline
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flutes, not FLUKES!

Ohhhhh!
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Old 10-01-2017, 12:31 PM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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I'm not getting the humor here. This is a vile crime directed against children. If this actually happened, they ought to give him a special exception death penalty. It reminds me of this earlier case.

http://www.ocregister.com/2011/04/22...-water-bottle/
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Old 10-01-2017, 05:18 PM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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Originally Posted by Jackmannii View Post
Wait'll the International Tuba Fest scandal breaks...
If you're man enough to fill a tuba then I think you should be allowed to do whatever you want.
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Old 10-01-2017, 06:39 PM
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Originally Posted by madsircool View Post
I'm not getting the humor here. This is a vile crime directed against children. If this actually happened, they ought to give him a special exception death penalty. It reminds me of this earlier case.

http://www.ocregister.com/2011/04/22...-water-bottle/
In your opinion, is there any actual harm to the children? If so, what is it?
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Old 10-01-2017, 06:50 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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You just can't make this shit up, can you?
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Old 10-01-2017, 07:47 PM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Where flutes go, treble follows.
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  #12  
Old 10-01-2017, 08:35 PM
jtur88 jtur88 is offline
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In your opinion, is there any actual harm to the children? If so, what is it?
How refreshing, to see such an inordinately intelligent question. There will, of course, be no answer forthcoming.

Seriously, what if the guy jerked off and then handled the doorknob to the band room. Would we still have demands for "special exception death penalty"?

Last edited by jtur88; 10-01-2017 at 08:37 PM.
  #13  
Old 10-01-2017, 08:59 PM
Aquadementia Aquadementia is offline
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So, I see they still pipe officers aboard ship. The tradition lives on.
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Old 10-01-2017, 10:11 PM
G0sp3l G0sp3l is offline
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The guy may not deserve the death penalty, but a beating with a burlap sack full of brass woodwinds.
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Old 10-01-2017, 10:16 PM
CairoCarol CairoCarol is online now
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Where flutes go, treble follows.
You should be thrown off a clef for that terrible pun.
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Old 10-01-2017, 11:01 PM
Lucas Jackson Lucas Jackson is offline
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Where flutes go, treble follows.
It's all about that bass...
  #17  
Old 10-02-2017, 12:38 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Originally Posted by Flyer View Post
In your opinion, is there any actual harm to the children? If so, what is it?
Tell that to the kids who will be living with this in their memories of childhood for the rest of their lives. Lets see how your ass would react if he came all over your keyboard.

This criminal committed a sex act against children. No sane human could even conceive of this. If not already, he will want his semen inside kids. He is a predator.
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Old 10-02-2017, 12:41 AM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Originally Posted by jtur88 View Post
How refreshing, to see such an inordinately intelligent question. There will, of course, be no answer forthcoming.

Seriously, what if the guy jerked off and then handled the doorknob to the band room. Would we still have demands for "special exception death penalty"?
Usually one must go to Thailand or the Philippines to encounter such cavalier attitudes towards children and sexuality.
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Old 10-02-2017, 12:42 AM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Usually one must go to Thailand or the Philippines to encounter such cavalier attitudes towards children and sexuality.
Actually, the pedos who used to go to Thailand now generally head for Cambodia. Thailand has cracked down a lot.
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  #20  
Old 10-02-2017, 12:46 AM
Robot Arm Robot Arm is offline
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How much semen are we talking about, here; little spots only detectable under a black light, or the flute makes a gurgling sound when you play it?
  #21  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:33 AM
Senegoid Senegoid is offline
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What kind of flutes now?
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  #22  
Old 10-02-2017, 07:47 AM
kayaker kayaker is offline
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No way to work "tromboner" into a comment, is there?
  #23  
Old 10-02-2017, 08:06 AM
ioioio ioioio is offline
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O.P. here.

This article has a photo of the "flutes". They are made from PVC pipe.

Maybe we'll get some facts today (Monday). So far nobody is saying that anything positively happened, or why it's suspected that it did.

One newspaper claimed that "thousands" of children were possibly affected. The children are in grades 4-6, so 9-12 years old.

One news article said that the flutes were painted by the children. To me, the flutes look too uniform for that to be true. If it is true, then the paint would've covered anything already on the flute. Otherwise, surely any semen had dried and was harmless, if gross. I'm pretty sure that kids that age would protest if given a wet sticky flute.
  #24  
Old 10-02-2017, 08:11 AM
LSLGuy LSLGuy is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by madsircool View Post
Tell that to the kids who will be living with this in their memories of childhood for the rest of their lives. Lets see how your ass would react if he came all over your keyboard.

This criminal committed a sex act against children. No sane human could even conceive of this. If not already, he will want his semen inside kids. He is a predator.
Guess what: there's pee on bathroom doorknobs.

Not from perverts, but from people who simply don't bother to wash their hands after peeing.

The man-made word is awash in our skin cells, dandruff, sweat, urine, semen, vaginal secretions, hair, parasitic bacteria, etc. Always has been and always will be.

The outrage over the semen itself is simply ignorant eeeww-paranoia / germ paranoia run rampant.


You may have a point that this weird act may be a sign of a pedophile with control problems. Which ought to be properly, not hysterically, investigated. If the guy does have pedo problems he probably shouldn't be working with children.

Plenty of people have sexual perversions that have nothing to do with kids but do have something to do with leaving their mark on the world. You've almost certainly interacted with one. Or his (usually his) residue. In other breaking news dogs pee on bushes.

Last edited by LSLGuy; 10-02-2017 at 08:13 AM.
  #25  
Old 10-02-2017, 08:21 AM
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Where flutes go, treble follows.
Watch out for the sax and violins.
  #26  
Old 10-02-2017, 10:42 AM
Machine Elf Machine Elf is offline
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It's all about that bass...
All your bass are belong to us.
  #27  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:00 AM
Kelevra Kelevra is offline
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Originally Posted by ioioio View Post

It amazes me that people can still find new ways to be perverse and disgusting.
You should read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk.

I would never lick an envelope from an ATM...

Also, Choke was written in 2002. These ideas aren't new.
  #28  
Old 10-02-2017, 11:28 AM
Trafalgar Laura Trafalgar Laura is offline
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Is there no danger the kids could get some sort of disease from the culprit if they wound up ingesting the semen?
  #29  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:20 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
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Are they worried the kids will start playing Herbie Mann on their flutes? No, wait. That's JAZZ music.
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  #30  
Old 10-02-2017, 03:22 PM
Urbanredneck Urbanredneck is offline
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I have seen how people use ultraviolet light to look for human fluids in hotel rooms on say carpet or bedding.

Would an ultraviolet light see something on the flute?
  #31  
Old 10-02-2017, 04:13 PM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LSLGuy View Post
Guess what: there's pee on bathroom doorknobs.

Not from perverts, but from people who simply don't bother to wash their hands after peeing.

The man-made word is awash in our skin cells, dandruff, sweat, urine, semen, vaginal secretions, hair, parasitic bacteria, etc. Always has been and always will be.

The outrage over the semen itself is simply ignorant eeeww-paranoia / germ paranoia run rampant.


You may have a point that this weird act may be a sign of a pedophile with control problems. Which ought to be properly, not hysterically, investigated. If the guy does have pedo problems he probably shouldn't be working with children.

Plenty of people have sexual perversions that have nothing to do with kids but do have something to do with leaving their mark on the world. You've almost certainly interacted with one. Or his (usually his) residue. In other breaking news dogs pee on bushes.
This isn't about ick. Its about a man who targets children under cover of charity. This guy is dangerous. But unusual sex crimes seem to get more giggles and naysaying than appropriate attention. And this who is the victim nonsense is bullshit. The same questions can be asked of upskirt pic takers and guys who hide cams where people are vulnerable.
  #32  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:07 PM
Thudlow Boink Thudlow Boink is offline
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Originally Posted by madsircool View Post
This criminal committed a sex act against children. No sane human could even conceive of this. If not already, he will want his semen inside kids. He is a predator.
So are you advocating the "special exception death penalty" because of what he's going to do? or because he's mentally ill?

Or are you just engaging in hyperbole (+ speculation)?
  #33  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:23 PM
madsircool madsircool is offline
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So are you advocating the "special exception death penalty" because of what he's going to do? or because he's mentally ill?

Or are you just engaging in hyperbole (+ speculation)?
Ok hyperbole. Like I mentioned earlier, this is a crime committed against victims who are at their most vulnerable. They will likely be scarred by this for life. This criminal attacks society at its weakest link. I suppose I was trying to say that we would all be better off without him in our presence. Exile would suffice.
  #34  
Old 10-02-2017, 05:47 PM
dtilque dtilque is offline
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One newspaper claimed that "thousands" of children were possibly affected. The children are in grades 4-6, so 9-12 years old.
Some kids in that age range can actually produce semen. So how do we know the stuff isn't from some of them? Perhaps lots of them if this has been going on for years (the only way to get thousands of them exposed). Possibly the room they store the instuments in is also a convenient place for the kids to relieve their urges.

Maybe we should be teaching the kids about safe sax....
  #35  
Old 10-03-2017, 01:59 AM
Siam Sam Siam Sam is offline
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Maybe we should be teaching the kids about safe sax....
That would be note-worthy.
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  #36  
Old 10-03-2017, 02:37 AM
dtilque dtilque is offline
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That would be note-worthy.
The kids are doing solos on the trom-bone..
  #37  
Old 10-03-2017, 05:12 AM
jtur88 jtur88 is offline
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Ok hyperbole. Like I mentioned earlier, this is a crime committed against victims who are at their most vulnerable. They will likely be scarred by this for life. This criminal attacks society at its weakest link. I suppose I was trying to say that we would all be better off without him in our presence. Exile would suffice.
Would they have been scarred for life if nobody ever discovered the flutes were tainted, or had never said anything about it to anybody? Wouldn't we all be better off if the authorities and media just shut up about such trivial nonsense? How does the media get these stories, anyway?

Last edited by jtur88; 10-03-2017 at 05:14 AM.
  #38  
Old 10-16-2017, 04:07 PM
Hypno-Toad Hypno-Toad is offline
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Would they have been scarred for life if nobody ever discovered the flutes were tainted, or had never said anything about it to anybody? Wouldn't we all be better off if the authorities and media just shut up about such trivial nonsense? How does the media get these stories, anyway?
Yeah, they should never have disseminated that fact.
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Old 10-17-2017, 01:43 PM
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There have been no updates to this story for over two weeks, and much was left unexplained. I suspect the whole thing was a one-crazy-person event. But the press should have the decency to follow up and admit they overreacted. A man and an organization were adversely affected by the hoopla, perhaps unfairly; it's really difficult to find a solid piece of truth among the news stories.
  #40  
Old 10-17-2017, 01:45 PM
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The entire story smells of horseshit, actually. I keep expecting it to be updated as such, here on this site. I do not expect the media to say that, though.
  #41  
Old 10-17-2017, 02:09 PM
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You should read Choke by Chuck Palahniuk.

I would never lick an envelope from an ATM...

Also, Choke was written in 2002. These ideas aren't new.
And made into a movie a few years later. A very nicely done movie that is terribly underrated.
  #42  
Old 10-18-2017, 05:32 PM
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Yeah, they should never have disseminated that fact.
Well played!
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  #43  
Old 10-19-2017, 07:17 AM
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Well played!
Eeeeewww.
  #44  
Old 10-19-2017, 08:39 AM
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The entire story smells of horseshit, actually. I keep expecting it to be updated as such, here on this site. I do not expect the media to say that, though.
The Washington Post

Democracy Dies in Darkness



”JIZZ FLUTES” STORY SMELLS OF HORSESHIT
  #45  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:07 PM
Teuton Teuton is offline
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Those opening quotes make my soul hurt.
  #46  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:32 PM
Gatopescado Gatopescado is offline
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Well played!
This one was better.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Hypno-Toad View Post
Are they worried the kids will start playing Herbie Mann on their flutes? No, wait. That's JAZZ music.

  #47  
Old 10-20-2017, 01:47 PM
shunpiker shunpiker is offline
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The Washington Post

Democracy Dies in Darkness



”JIZZ FLUTES” STORY SMELLS OF HORSESHIT
  #48  
Old 10-21-2017, 06:52 PM
excavating (for a mind) excavating (for a mind) is offline
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From the start of this thread, I just assumed that some parent looked at one of the flutes under a black light. Of course, due to shows like CSI on TV, the parent knew that semen would fluoresce under black light, which was assumed to mean, of course, semen is the only fluid that will fluoresce under black light. I really doubt any children were harmed in the making of the instruments in question, unless you want to consider the damage done by irrational and ignorant adults. And, no, I would not expect any follow-up by a news organization since the only story would be "I guess we jumped the gun on that one, huh?"
  #49  
Old 10-21-2017, 07:07 PM
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My husband pointed out that a man who could do that to a flute must have a very small baton...
  #50  
Old 10-22-2017, 12:16 AM
dropzone dropzone is offline
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I'm not getting the humor here.
I think it was Mel Brooks who said, "Tragedy is when I fall and break my leg. Comedy is when YOU fall and break YOUR leg." But he's not a nice person. Neither am I.
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