FOX, John Madden and that stupid fucking 6-legged turkey: It's getting old!

[Vinnie Virginslayer]

Every fucking year it is the same shit with this guy:

Fox broadcasts an NFL game on Thanksgiving. Cameras show a six legged turkey being prepared in John Madden's bus (because this freak has been afraid to fly his entire career). See, John is a big fat fuck, so he loves food, get it? HAHAHAHHA!!!!!!!!!!!

Then, towards the end of the game, they wheel out ths stupid, mutant, dried up cold turkey from the Maddenmobile to the Silverdome so they can award the Turkey Leg to the player of the game. Like, after playing a hard game of football, this poor slob is going pass on the Gatorade to eat a disgusting old diseased TURKEY LEG???

HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! THAT IS SO FUNNY JOHN, LIKE . . .20 fucking years ago when you started this crap????

But even worse is when the Big Blowhard and that old drunk Pat Summerall broadcast from Green Bay, and OF COURSE, there's constant TV shots of Madden in the parking lot sampling some of the crappy, greasy bratwurst all his fellow fatso Cheesehead tailgaters in Wisconsin woof down. EVERY SINGLE FUCKING TIME THEY DO THIS ON FOX. See John is a fat tub of shit, so this is funny . . .he likes food . . .GET IT? HAHAHAHAHHAAAA!!!! I'M HOLDING MY RIBS!

Madden . .you were slightly amusing in the early 1980s. Now, everyone is John Madden, and the game has passed you by.

John Madden and Pat Summerall . . .please, please go away.

[Read Icculus]

Nice job Vinnie - I agree 100% What about Berman? If I hear "He could go all...," or, "Back Back Back," or, when Mike Alstott runs the ball.... "Bfft, Bfft, Diit, Bifft..."
once more.....

[Oblong]

I noticed today that Brett Favre did his best not to eat it. He looked at Green taking a bite, started to take a bite, then said hello to his kids, hoping the camera would go off in time. I think he finally put his mouth on it but never did bite.

[DPWhite]

Think volume control.

[Duck Duck Goose]

Bah. You got it easy. My local paper did a full-page four-color spread on the turkey leg thing. Slow news day. Oog.

_{like, nothing else happened anywhere on Planet Earth that was worth putting in the paper, instead of the turkey leg thing?}

[Manduck]

Originally posted by Oblong
I noticed today that Brett Favre did his best not to eat it. He looked at Green taking a bite, started to take a bite, then said hello to his kids, hoping the camera would go off in time. I think he finally put his mouth on it but never did bite.

If you go to the main page of espn.go.com you will see a picture of Favre, apparently with some turkey in his mouth. Hurry, though, they'll have a different picture up by tomorrow morning. Hurry hurry hurry!















_(hurry)

[PhiloVance]

Dude, Madden was an A#1 coach. One of the best. But I gotta agree with you. Old John has just lost it. Really, I don't think he ever had it. He is the "raison d'etre" for my MUTE button.

As I said John Madden was a good coach _{I would have hated to listen to him at half time, tho.} He is NOT a good color man, NOT a good broadcaster and his lame jokes and tales are pretty sucky.

Pat Summerall, on the other hand, I could listen to all day. I don't know why, he's not that great a speaker, and like most of them, he rattles on with platitudes, but he for some reason does not irritate me. Believe it or not, FOX, and CBS before them have these two as the 'premier duo' for the big games.

BTW Read Icculus, gotta agree with you about Chris B. The guy with his tiresome inanities gets my goat. See my post halfway down. The guy I really like, and he's not an announcer is George Michael's Sports Machine. Great Voice.

[VarlosZ]

Jesus, Vinnie. Cranky? I mean this in the nicest possible way (seriously), but: chill the fuck out.



. . . On second thought, forget I said anything. If a jolly fat man and his turkey get you this wroked up, I sure as shit don't wnat you on my case.

[pepperlandgirl]

My favorite part of the game is when Madden said the Detroit Lions had to have some "hard tackles". Thanks John, I always was under the assumption that they needed soft tackles, or depending on the situation, no tackles at all!

[Chanteuse]

Oh, man, does Mouth Madden make me gag! I have never liked him and the very word "BOOM" makes me want to hurl (hurl him, that is--through a window).

I seem to remember that the bird is a hybrid of turkey, chicken, and duck, which they call by the cute name of "Turducken" (oh, John, your cleverness is to DIE for). Now, I don't find the bird all that appealing to start with, but I definitely don't want to eat ANYTHING that begins with the word "turd."

[december]

Originally posted by Mayflower
I seem to remember that the bird is a hybrid of turkey, chicken, and duck, which they call by the cute name of "Turducken"

IIRC the chicken is stuffed inside the duck, which in turn is stuffed inside the turkey.

[kevja]

Madden's act must still play somewhere. But where? That place they call "middle America." BTW, I think Summerall has been sober for several years now.

[Lizard]

I agree completely with the OP, even though I've never actually seen the six-legged turkey bit. Just the IDEA of it sounds so ridiculous though. I especially like the line "the Big Blowhard and that old drunk Pat Summerall".

This was also funny:

Originally posted by VarlosZ
If a jolly fat man and his turkey get you this wroked up, I sure as shit don't wnat you on my case.

And I also agree about Chris Berman. It got really bad a few years ago when OTHER guys on ESPN were using his lines. I swear, if they hadn't eased up I would've taken out a hit on someone. How many times can you hear "the frrroooozzzenn tundra of Laammmbbeeaauu Fiieelldd" before going nuts? I mean, it's not that funny in the first place! Gah!

[Dewey Cheatem Undhow]

Originally posted by Mayflower
I seem to remember that the bird is a hybrid of turkey, chicken, and duck, which they call by the cute name of "Turducken" (oh, John, your cleverness is to DIE for). Now, I don't find the bird all that appealing to start with, but I definitely don't want to eat ANYTHING that begins with the word "turd."

HEY. Madden-bashing's fine by me, but don't fuck with the Turducken. My uncle makes it from time to time and I assure you that it is a GOOD THING. Mmmmmm...turducken....
_{and I don't mean that in a Martha Stewart way, either}

[Qwertyasdfg]

I agree.

(I hope nobody's already mentioned this On Thanksgiving I heard him talking about how some player had learned to "demolate" at a demolition derby. What really bothers me is that "demolish" seems like the more obvious choice, since its sound is actually in the word "dem-o-lish-un". It's as if he was intentionally trying to say the wrong word. Read a fucking book you piece of shit!

[Bossk]

Originally posted by Oblong
I noticed today that Brett Favre did his best not to eat it. He looked at Green taking a bite, started to take a bite, then said hello to his kids, hoping the camera would go off in time. I think he finally put his mouth on it but never did bite.

At least Bretty made an effort. A year or two back, when Minnesota won on Thanksgiving, Randy "Cuddles" Moss could barely bring himself to touch it. When the interview was done, he put it down untasted and walked away.

I seem to remember that the bird is a hybrid of turkey, chicken, and duck, which they call by the cute name of "Turducken" (oh, John, your cleverness is to DIE for). Now, I don't find the bird all that appealing to start with, but I definitely don't want to eat ANYTHING that begins with the word "turd."

I thought the thing was smoked, not baked. Am I wrong?

[Ramsmilk]

So he's got an old joke. He IS and old joke. But fun.

Remember when George Burns got to be 90 and his only joke for the next 8 years was "I'm so old I won't buy green bananas." ? But we forgave him. He'd given us enough enjoyment over the years.

[CrankyAsAnOldMan]

Originally posted by VarlosZ
Jesus, Vinnie. Cranky? I mean this in the nicest possible way (seriously), but: chill the fuck out.

No, no, but it happens all the time, people mixing us up. He's the funny one, but crankier than me. I'm the irrelevant one, only slightly cranky.

No need to apologize. Even Mom can't always keep us straight.