The Straight Dope

Go Back   Straight Dope Message Board > Main > The BBQ Pit

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 03-19-2002, 02:13 AM
widdershins widdershins is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
My boss got fired! Hot Damn!

I just found a few hours ago that my boss got fired Monday. As screwed up as my pathetic life is, this makes me so goddamn happy, for now, at least.

No more stupid blathering memos about maintaining quality or disciplinary action spelled "qaulity" or "disciplanary" every fucking time. No more drunken late night phone calls that start "Roll Tide! Who is this?" and go downhill from there. No more rehiring favorites after his boss who fired these worthless turds changed jobs. No more bailing out these favorites because he needs them at work that bad (he might have to do something himself if he didn't). No more making a guy who's been there two weeks Employee of the Month, putting the wrong month on the announcement BTW, then having to fire the guy a month later because it's less trouble than pressing charges since he tried to set the building on fire! Although part of that decision was made by higher-ups as well. We can't have the bad publicity of one of the "heroes" who put the fire out being the one who started it.

No more having you talk at me, the few times you actually made an appearance on my shift. And then just sitting in your office playing on your computer, going outside to smoke cigarettes every 15 minutes, or browbeating someone about how they're doing a job that you could never do right in the first place when you did it. And about that fucking office, think your replacement will have it repainted by your favorites on a holiday, drawing time and a half pay, when he knows no one will be at work to notice until it's too late like you did?

You pathetic alcoholic, pock-marked, lying asshole! I hope your liver turns on you the way your bosses finally did after you became too much of an embarassment. Who knows what we'll get to replace you, or what he'll do to the department; I want out of that shithole anyway before I finish going insane. But at least we won't have to deal with your bullshit anymore. Please die the nastiest, most painful, lingering death you can manage! You sad fuck!
Reply With Quote
Advertisements  
  #2  
Old 03-19-2002, 04:23 AM
Typo Negative Typo Negative is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2000
You realize, of course, that this dufus will be rehired as a consultant for twice the salary......
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 03-19-2002, 11:11 AM
Revtim Revtim is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Goddam, I hope they can my idiot shit boss someday. I get a hard-on just imagining this guy getting escorted out. I loathe that barking sack of ass-crack lint. He was actually missing a couple weeks ago, his wife even called me asking where he was, and I thought maybe I had my dream that he was gone. But, the sonofacunt actally showed up the next day, I assume from a trip where he lied to his wife that he was on business when he was actually off boinking some tastless skank.
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 03-19-2002, 01:40 PM
Spavined Gelding Spavined Gelding is online now
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
First, the one thing more satisfying than seeing your incompetent boss canned is watching your boss claim credit for something YOU did and then get canned for it.

Second, for 11 years I worked for as egotistical, abusive, belittling, manic-depressive a guy as can be imagined. I finally got sick and tired of the abuse and the lack of recognition for my work and went down the street, taking a fair number of clients and a secretary with me. There is much satisfaction in creating a successful practice but the real gratification will come from attending his funeral. We plan to organize two buses. There will be one bus for the people who want to make sure heís dead and one for the people who want to hang around to piss on his grave. Iíll be on the second bus.
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 03-19-2002, 06:39 PM
widdershins widdershins is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2001
His being rehired as a consultant is unlikely, but our SOP for these things tends to be:

1. Person is fired or put on suspension with threat of being fired.
2. Person sues whether they have grounds or not.
3. The Company, afraid of any publicity revealing there might be trouble at such a trusted company, offers a settlement if it looks like the lawsuit will get anywhere near a court room.
4. If the person is fired, they take the money and go on their happy way. If not, they come back with a fatter wallet, and the have run of the place until they leave out of boredom.

So he will probably still find a way to get paid for doing nothing. The company is wary of consultants after our last one. A do-nothing "sales booster" who slept through daily meetings, was clearly drunk everytime I saw him, and was apparently a raging cokehead. He had to be escorted out in a screaming fit about how they were cheating him out of his commission.

My boss had gone missing lately too, Revtim. His bosses had no idea he hadn't been there for several days at a time, strange how we kept running without him...

I had hoped to find another job soon and quit on the sonofabitch, but that's out now. Being the petty little thug I am, Spavined, I still plan to keep an eye out for when I can put something on his grave that won't pass for flowers. Like I said in the OP, with the way he drinks and smokes he's well on his way to accomodating me.
Reply With Quote
Reply



Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 07:22 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2014, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright © 2013 Sun-Times Media, LLC.