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  #1  
Old 07-06-2002, 10:57 PM
vivalostwages vivalostwages is offline
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Your favorite--or unfavorite--infomercials

I must confess to some fascination with these endlessly repeating, sometimes hourlong TV ads. The one I'm interested in right now is the one for the RevoStyler hair thingie. You can see the amazing deal at www.revostyler.com, but of course the television version is much more detailed. They almost had me talked into ordering one, but I am holding firm.
Somehow, almost anything for a cooking/kitchen product gets on my nerves, though. I think it's because all the players are so overexcited and giddy about what they're hawking. They become shrill and unbearable within seconds.
So then...Do you hate 'em all, or do you like a few?
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  #2  
Old 07-06-2002, 11:07 PM
Sunup @ Cheerful Sunup @ Cheerful is offline
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I love all the TimeLife music ones.
I have most of them on tape.

Don't have hundereds of dollars for the albums, but I can hear enough to make me remember the songs.
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  #3  
Old 07-07-2002, 01:07 AM
voguevixen voguevixen is offline
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I have two current faves. The first is for Heinekin and the music playing is "Never My Love" by the Association. This guy's on a date with a totally full-of-herself woman, and she's checking out her makeup in her compact and ignoring the guy, he starts to say something and her cell phone rings and she cuts him off to answer and starts having this conversation with whoever called. Then while she's talking she picks up her beer bottle, notices it's empty, reaches over and takes HIS beer bottle, pours it in his glass. He stares at the empty bottle a second while she yammers away, then almost imperceptably catches the waiter's eye and makes the "check" signal. (The tag line says "the last straw" but I don't think it even needs it.) I think it stands out from a lot of commercials because the acting is really natural-seeming, like you're actually watching this thing happen. So many commercials are so hammy and heavyhanded; this one is nearly a pleasure to watch.

My second current favorite is the new Chili's commercial where the N*Sync guys are STILL on the island singing about Baby Back Ribs, but now the song is all lush and gooey and over-produced "Solid Gold" style. It cracks me up.
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  #4  
Old 07-07-2002, 02:55 AM
erin uh oh erin uh oh is offline
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the best infomercial i've seen recently is this one i saw for some fancy schmancy pilates workout videos. until i saw that infomercial, i had been pronouncing "pilates" wrong (like pie-lates," when it's supposed to be "pee-lattes"). i can truly say that it changed my life.

i hate that one where they have some man's hairy back and they do this swipe of hair remover on it, and then SHOW you the hair they just removed that's on the little towel thing. i am not prejudiced against hairy-backed men, it's just that somehow, back hair is so much grosser when it's all wet and on a little towel.
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  #5  
Old 07-12-2002, 06:04 PM
vivalostwages vivalostwages is offline
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The one for OxiClean isn't bad in terms of the product being hawked, but the guy doing the hawking really gets on my nerves. It's his voice and delivery. What a turn-off.
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  #6  
Old 07-12-2002, 07:29 PM
World Eater World Eater is offline
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Don "I started out in a one bedroom apt" Lapree drives me to the grave and back.
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  #7  
Old 07-12-2002, 09:55 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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I always liked the one with make up artist Victoria Jackson. It made me want that make up kit so bad!!!

Of course, I just love playing with make up.
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  #8  
Old 07-12-2002, 10:33 PM
Thunder Thunder is offline
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Whatever happened to Mike Levey?

(shuddering that I remember that name)
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  #9  
Old 07-13-2002, 12:14 PM
voguevixen voguevixen is offline
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I just saw two more during last night's Giants games that make me think this is going to be the golden year of commercials or something.

Jack in the Box has done it again with a spoof of big truck commercials right down to the schmaltzy "Like a Rock" style music in the background. (Burger falls into truck bed in slow motion from earthmover, truck sags under it's weight, then beefy construction men strap it down while Jack saves a lost lamb in the rain -- ROFL!)

New best commercial ever -- Telemarketer calls a guy at 6AM on a saturday, chirping "It's 8 here in Columbus!" Telemarketer contiunues to yammer away while guy drives across several states to his building, goes to his desk, yanks the phone console and smashes it into the ground. "Want a more satisfying crunch?" It's for that crunchy Snickers bar, lol. (I also liked the one with the guy selling wind-up dolls that said things like "I love you, but I'm not IN love with you," "I think your sister's pretty," and "It happens to a lot of guys" so people could crush them in disgust.)
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  #10  
Old 07-13-2002, 10:46 PM
TVGuy TVGuy is offline
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As for informercials, I've always been partial to the old "Hand Hammered Chinese Wok" hosted by an Englishman named, I think, Wally. He'd always repeat throughout the program the "This is the authentic HAND HAMMERED Chinese Wok from the People's Republic of Chiiiiina!"

An old classic
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  #11  
Old 07-14-2002, 01:15 AM
voguevixen voguevixen is offline
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The very very worst one I ever remember seeing was only on once and I think the station got deluged with irate calls for it because it was so tacky and horrifying. It was for some stungun/tazer type thing and it told this "story" about how some woman went with her best friend went to go pick out her bridal veil or something and on the way back they were run off the road by drunken hillbillies. (I'm not kidding, they had these guys playing the most stereotypical backwoods, redneck, hillbillies you could ever come up with, pickup trucks and Jack Daniels, the whole bit.) Anyway, first they stand outside the gals car and act obscene for a while then they break the windows and drag them into the woods and do unspeakable things to them. Wait, it gets worse! They cut to a scene of the veil all trampled and bloody by the side of the road, and go on to say that the bride was so traumatized that....[cut to scene of a silhouetted woman hanging from a noose] AND the friend was so traumatized that she hasn't spoken in years, is a near vegetable, and is cared for by her sister. Of course, all of this could've been prevented if they only had a Tazer, WHICH WE JUST HAPPEN TO SELL! Tazers -- because you never know when you're going to be gang-raped by hillbillies! EVIIIIIL!

(Just had to get in one more post, just so you knew I finally realised the thread was about INFOmercials, dur!)
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  #12  
Old 07-14-2002, 01:47 AM
Mockingbird Mockingbird is offline
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I hate the cooker commercial hosted by The Mommies. It is SO obnoxious.

Now they do a weight loss commercial. Ick.
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  #13  
Old 07-14-2002, 05:26 AM
BooBoo316 BooBoo316 is offline
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Worst infomercial: Jay Kordich "The Juiceman". That guy scares the hell outa me.
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  #14  
Old 07-14-2002, 03:22 PM
p@cific@812 p@cific@812 is offline
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Favorites....
I like the one with the old guy that has this machine capable of turning pretty much anything into beef jerky. There was another one several years ago about this special pillow filled with beans or some other hard substance that was supposed to be good for your neck. It was quite ridiculous.

Unfavorites....
Anything with that annoying British guy who always wears a red bowtie. I think I hate that man.
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  #15  
Old 07-14-2002, 07:06 PM
Cheesesteak Cheesesteak is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by p@cific@812
Favorites....There was another one several years ago about this special pillow filled with beans or some other hard substance that was supposed to be good for your neck. It was quite ridiculous.
Sobakawa baby... feel the power of buckwheat hulls!

I love the OxyClean guy, he's just so excited about cleaning! I do kinda question the power of the product, though, since he's always using a scrubbie sponge to get the tough dirt off.

The Juiceman has 2 giant caterpillars instead of eyebrows, frightening No thanks, buddy, if juice gives me those things, I'll stick with coffee.

The stupidest product was the closet hanger organizer thing many years ago. Basically a piece of plastic that you hang your hangers on, then drop down vertically. "It saves so much space" yeah, instead of just pressing your clothes together like a normal person? 30 cents worth of plastic for the low, low price of $29.99!
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  #16  
Old 07-14-2002, 07:36 PM
vivalostwages vivalostwages is offline
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The buckwheat hull makura pillow was actually one of the best investments I ever made, though I didn't see it on an infomercial. I got it through a catalog for less than 20 bucks, and it really does give great head and neck support, and stays cooler than a regular pillow. Hey, sometimes these things really work.....
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  #17  
Old 07-14-2002, 10:19 PM
psychobunny psychobunny is offline
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I really love the convertible dress one. They have one dress that can be worn a million ways if you tuck it up and wrap it and basically don't move-lol.
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  #18  
Old 07-14-2002, 11:03 PM
p@cific@812 p@cific@812 is offline
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$20 you say? NO! I will give you two of these remarkable buckwheat pillows- The ancient Chinese secret of neck support- for the low, low price of $19.95!!! Sorry, no CODs accepted.

Hmmm, if they are that good perhaps I should try them out. I liked the commercial, why shouldn't I like the pillow as well?!
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  #19  
Old 07-14-2002, 11:03 PM
p@cific@812 p@cific@812 is offline
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$20 you say? NO! I will give you two of these remakable buckwheat pillows- The ancient Chinese secret of neck support- for the low, low price of $19.95!!! Sorry, no CODs accepted.

Hmmm, if they are that good perhaps I should try them out. I liked the commercial, why shouldn't I like the pillow as well?!
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Old 07-14-2002, 11:06 PM
p@cific@812 p@cific@812 is offline
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Whoops, stupid double post....
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  #21  
Old 07-15-2002, 12:03 AM
vivalostwages vivalostwages is offline
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So....you're saying you want four of those pillows?
Double posts, double products!
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  #22  
Old 07-15-2002, 01:08 AM
Dijon Warlock Dijon Warlock is offline
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Just give'm to him half-price.
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  #23  
Old 07-15-2002, 01:46 AM
quinoa quinoa is offline
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there are two older ones that i remember watching with disturbed fascination..

one was for those 'hairdini' or hairogami' things. i remember seeing these leopard print snakelike items twisted and embedded in someone's hair and it was almost disturbing enough for a snake-phobic like me to wig out. (seeing them dumped in the laundry machine was pretty bad too..) yet the people in the infomercial were not disturbed in the slightest.. just smiled in this very eerie way..

another was for that 'men are from mars, women from venus' book (or however the title really goes). the author had a talk show setup and a woman is telling the audience something about herself and her relationships. the author pats her on the shoulder (or hugs her?) and says, "that was such a special share!!". maybe the guy has helped some people with their relationships, but i find him really freaky!
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  #24  
Old 07-15-2002, 02:13 AM
heresiarch heresiarch is offline
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There's an infomercial I've seen in Korea that interests me because I can't figure it out.

A man dressed in a suit applies brightly colored athletic tape to a young woman in a swimsuit.

Where exactly does he put the tape, you may ask. Well, across her shoulderblade, along her calf, along the sole of her foot. Usually he places a bright pink Y-shaped piece of tape, about a foot long, and stretches it out a little. Then he applies bright blue pieces of tape across the ends (to anchor the pink tape?) Oh yeah, the bathing suit is a plain black one-piece - very modest. And the woman doesn't speak or move unless the man is changing her position so he can tape her up some more.

I suppose it's some kind of muscle therapy, since the guy usually puts the tape along an axis of a muscle group. The trouble is, I can't figure out what good this kind of treatment would do. And why are there two colors of tape? Are they different?

It's entirely possible that this guy is a quack that has come up with a spiel to unload colored tape at a huge markup, but since I don't know what he's saying, I can't tell.

Anybody have any ideas?
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  #25  
Old 07-15-2002, 04:28 AM
Lipid Lipid is offline
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I personally like when you get to see the close up cartoony images of how the product works. Like when it's a zit medicine and they show the real close up image of about five pours of skin with the dirt in them. Then it shows the dirt go away. And I also like seeing the razor ones where you see 5 hairs real close up. I dunno, maybe I'm a freak and I get happy when I see skin way close up in a cartoonish format. Someone else tell me they secretly enjoy seeing those.
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  #26  
Old 07-15-2002, 07:35 AM
widdershins widdershins is offline
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voguevixen, I remember the horrid stungun infomercial you described. It ran for while on one of our local channels, lurid and depressing. I read on a website devoted to infomercials, that one was later edited because of all the complaints over the exploitive nature of the original.

My all time favorite was one for Santo Gold jewelry, from the late 80s. So odd it was practically art. The show was promoting this line of cheesy jewelry sales kits, you were supposed to become a Santo Gold distributor, kind of like selling Tupperware. But it also plugged a movie made to promote the jewelry, a wrestling/horror movie/comedy called Blood Circus. The clips of the film were laughably bad: high school drama level acting, bizarre talking angels, the fakest severed head I've ever seen in a movie, and Santo Gold himself singing the "hit song" from the movie. I recognized several real wrestlers in the clips shown, although the show didn't mention any names. For shame guys. Oh, how I wish I had taped this TV monstrocity. What little I could find out about Santo Gold and the movie online sounds like it would make a pretty good comedy itself.
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  #27  
Old 07-15-2002, 10:04 AM
puddleglum puddleglum is offline
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I love knife informercials. From the ginsu to the rock and chop, they suck me in every time. I have never bought any knives that way and I hardly ever cook but I find them fascinating. The way they slice tomatoes so thin and fresh baked bread, it is just amazing.
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  #28  
Old 07-15-2002, 06:35 PM
etv78 etv78 is offline
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I love any involving food! Remember the human calculator? He was pretty cool. Don't like the Real Estate ones. Makes me wonder how legal they are.
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  #29  
Old 07-15-2002, 09:50 PM
bristlesage bristlesage is offline
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My favorite was for a paint/varnish remover called QRB (apparently for "Quickly Restores Beauty"). You could dump some of this stuff on a painted table and scrape away the ugly old paint with cardboard, exposing the beautiful wood underneath. Then, you could take the paint that was soaked in the funk and use it again! Just put it on another painted or varnished item, let it set, and the QRB was totally reusable.

Plus, it was a double value since you could also use it as a varnish, simply by adding color caplets and shaking the tin.

Amazing.

(Also, I believe the woman who did the demos on the infomercial was the daughter of the dead inventor. I really wonder how much of that was true.)
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  #30  
Old 07-16-2002, 06:40 AM
bwk bwk is offline
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Oh MAN. I thought I had blotted Santo Gold from my memory. Wow. It was so oddly fascinating. It was on ALL the time. The dude would sing/yell, "It's Saaaaaaaaannnnto Goooooold!" How freakish. I never heard anyone else ever mention seeing it until now. How bizarre.

I don't know if they offered it with that or not, but does anyone else remember the jewelry offer, I don't even remember what the main item for sale was, but if you called within the next whatever time length, you got the 'scandinavian snowball ring' absolutely free!

I remember Linda Chae cosmetics... that one was interesting. Anyone else remember her?

My current one to laugh at is 'bare minerals'. It's all this makeup, that's all just pots of powder. One is called... the exact name escapes me... like, candlelight-izer or glow-izer... But it is natural, you see, all natural minerals from the earth -- not chemicals. Hmm... I guess the earth has no chemicals in it. That was big news to me.

It's all just powder. Uh-hunh. Great. To put it on, you have to use a *special* brush, and you have to blot and tap in the lid, in this really *special* way.

They actually say things like this...

Product Inventor: All the chemicals in makeup are so fake... like wearing rubber on your face... like a mask! Like plastic!

Host Chick: Ooh, that's bad, like smothering!

PI: Yes! But our product is all natural, like cotton or silk, so it's so smooth and natural on your face!

HC: (rubbing skin) Ooh, yes, silk, like silk, soft, like silk...."

And on and on. I guess. I usually can't stand any more...
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  #31  
Old 07-16-2002, 09:21 AM
PatrickM PatrickM is offline
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My second favorite was for the one that featured spray paint to cover up baldness. The beauty of it was that it actually seemed like a good idea at 3 AM when I had insomnia and was up watching infomercials.

My favorite infomercial was for some exercise bike. I forget the product, but the hostest of the infomercial was a gorgeous ex-Raiderette cheerleader named Kimiko Tanaka, who made the infomerical really worth watching, if you know what I mean.
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  #32  
Old 07-16-2002, 10:59 AM
c_goat c_goat is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by vivalostwages
The one for OxiClean isn't bad in terms of the product being hawked, but the guy doing the hawking really gets on my nerves. It's his voice and delivery. What a turn-off.
I like that guy becuase of his excitement level. His name is Billy Mays. He also does the OrangeGlo, and I've seen him doing another product but I don't remember which.

Speaking of excited, I like to watch that Gazelle Freestyle one too. Picture Billy Mays, but ten times as excited with blond curly hair. The Gazelle guy is a freak. It's fun to watch him.

There's also my buddies Tom and Randy from the Bowflex infomercial. I hunt for the bowflex infomercial on Saturday mornings. Though they have a new one now that's not as good, as it no longer features Randy. Hmm, actuall Randy was the one that was totally excited to be working out on the Bowflex.

I guess I like infomercials where the seller is really excited about the product.

An honorable mention goes to Ron Popeil of course, with his Ronco Rotisserie. That food looks soooooooooo good.
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  #33  
Old 07-16-2002, 06:56 PM
medstar medstar is offline
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Hey, bwk, don't you be dissing on my bare minerals. That foundation powder just happens to be the greatest thing since sliced bread on my skin. I bought mine from Ulta's however. I have bad luck when I purchase anything from an infomercial.
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  #34  
Old 07-16-2002, 07:57 PM
Labdad Labdad is offline
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I haven't seen it in a long time, but the infomercial for Flowbee was surreal! And just when you thought it couldn't get any more bizarre, they started using it on the dog!!.

Have any of you ever had a dog you could get within six feet of with a running vacuum cleaner, much less six inches??
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  #35  
Old 07-16-2002, 09:28 PM
SolGrundy SolGrundy is offline
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Originally posted by c_goat

I like that guy becuase of his excitement level. His name is Billy Mays. He also does the OrangeGlo, and I've seen him doing another product but I don't remember which.
Is that the big bearded guy who yells all the time? That guy gives me the heebie jeebies; I hear his voice in my nightmares. I saw him the other day yelling at me to buy one of those dent-remover-suction-cup things. It troubled me because I always thought he was really into cleaning products, and now it just seems like he's whoring himself out.

My favorite infomercial of all time is for the Infusion cooker. It was a pressure cooker from France that could alter the laws of time or something like that. The ad was hosted by Florence Henderson and some woman from a soap opera, but the best part was the audience. At one point, a woman from the audience says:

Quote:
Originally spoken by a woman from the audience
Soup from dried beans in 20 minutes?!? ppbtth... slppffh... That's CRAZY TALK!!!
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  #36  
Old 07-16-2002, 11:45 PM
Blueangel Blueangel is offline
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Way cool Knives

I Always liked the ones for those knives that never dull even if you saw into drywall with them one day i will consider bying them just to see how many pieces of drywall i can cut before i ruin the knives and i dont even know where i can get my hands on stuff like that to waste my knives on!
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Old 07-17-2002, 12:29 AM
A Random Geek A Random Geek is offline
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Well, I'd have to say the Bassomatic or the Floor Wax/Dessert Topping ones are my favorite....

But seriously, I see plenty of infomercials on OCN here in Korea, whilst I wait for the next Enlish-movie-with-Korean-subtitles to come on. I think my favorite ones have beautiful Korean models standing around, showing off the latest in women's underwear...

Whoops, is that drool on my keyboard?

I have actually seen a product I could see myself buying though... They advertise this huge air matress that you can take on camping trips and what not. I think it's the first time I've seen an infomercial advertise an item that I could find useful.
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Old 07-17-2002, 12:35 AM
A Random Geek A Random Geek is offline
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Well, I'd have to say the Bassomatic or the Floor Wax/Dessert Topping ones are my favorite....

But seriously, I see plenty of infomercials on OCN here in Korea, whilst I wait for the next Enlish-movie-with-Korean-subtitles to come on. I think my favorite ones have beautiful Korean models standing around, showing off the latest in women's underwear...

Whoops, is that drool on my keyboard?

I have actually seen a product I could see myself buying though... They advertise this huge air matress that you can take on camping trips and what not. I think it's the first time I've seen an infomercial advertise an item that I could find useful.
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  #39  
Old 07-17-2002, 06:54 AM
tarragon918 tarragon918 is offline
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Two words: John Basedow

I honestly -abhor- this guy and his commercials. He comes across, at least to me, with a "holier-than-thou" type attitude, especially when he -appears- to be glancing down at his washboard abs...

I'd better not say any more--someone might report this to Basedow and he'll be after me for ... is that slander or libel? LOL (yes, I know one is written and one is spoken; I just forget which is written!) I do not like anything about this guy, though!

Also, the commercials for both 'Nads and the Igia (sp?) hair removal systems. I don't know, but there is just something about seeing them spraying the guys hairy chest and wiping the hair away that is just -too gross-!!! I don't even want to think about the 'Nads product, where you have to -rip- a cloth off ... Gives me the creeps even writing about it! LOL

I don't really have any favorite infomercials.

~~tarragon~~
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  #40  
Old 07-17-2002, 08:09 AM
172pilot 172pilot is offline
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Video Professor!

I hate the video professor guy, John Scherer (sp?). Can the guy say the word "product" any more times in that commercial?
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  #41  
Old 07-17-2002, 10:16 AM
caveman caveman is offline
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I still remember the first of these horrible "shows" I ever saw. ([Homer]Urge to kill...rising...[/Homer]) It was for some miracle substance called "ORI" or something, hosted by an English-accented guy so annoying I actually recall advocating laying waste to the UK using thermonuclear wepons. I also recall that it was a SPACE-AGE POLYMER!!!! There must have been someting else those neurons could have used for, like another friend's phone number, but NO!, now I know that goddamn ORI is a SPACE-AGE-F**KING-POLYMER!!!!!

[Homer]Urge to kill...fading...[/Homer]
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  #42  
Old 07-24-2002, 12:11 AM
Rilchiam Rilchiam is offline
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I remember one infomercial whose pitch was, AFAIK, typical. It was a machine that sealed up plastic bags. Whoo-ee. The voiceover shrieked that the machine had "A thousand uses! You can seal up your sweaters for storage! You can seal up Christmas cookies! You can seal up beads and sequins for your sewing kit!" Meanwhile, I'm sitting there saying, "No, dingus, it has ONE use! It...seals...bagszzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!" Who in the hell is going to use such a thing often enough to justify the purchase?

But a lot of infomercials are like that. The Perfect Pancake, for instance. They sell you on it, claiming that you can cook everything from a pancake to an entire steer in the damn thing. Wrong: you can make one pancake in two minutes. If there are five people in your family, you will either have to eat in shifts, or all have cold pancakes.

When I was 20, my dad bought something for me that he'd seen on an infomercial. He knew I liked to sew, so he got me a hand-held sewing machine. Don't ask. But it turned out to be a good thing, because for the first time, I looked him in the eye and said, "I know you meant well, but this thing just doesn't work." Instead of letting my mom hide it and then say privately, "Rilch really doesn't like that dumb thing you got her." As it was, he took it like a man.

Oh, and this past weekend, I had the TV on while I was cleaning house. A rerun of SNL was on, with Heather Locklear. In one sketch, she was hosting an infomercial and saying stuff like, "Manufacturer's claims are just a lie! Like the Holocaust!" [switchboard goes crazy] "You couldn't get a better deal from a drunken Indian!" [switchboard jams up] "See, the orders are flying in!"
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  #43  
Old 07-24-2002, 02:19 AM
JessEnigma JessEnigma is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by c_goat

Speaking of excited, I like to watch that Gazelle Freestyle one too. Picture Billy Mays, but ten times as excited with blond curly hair. The Gazelle guy is a freak. It's fun to watch him.
My mom ordered one of those after we watched the infomercial. ("Don't tell anyone I ordered something off the TV!") That thing is *fun*. Several motivational tapes came along with the machine, too, so there's hours and hours of the Gazelle guy. He's just as perky and hyper on the tapes, if not more so. Almost scary, really.

jessica
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