From the AP newswire: “VH1, the sister station of MTV, announced this week that it’s talking to Liza Minnelli and her new husband, David Gest, about a weekly reality series.”
Yow! Neely O’Hara and The Phantom of the Opera Queen’s daily life! You can bet I’ll tune in, to see weekly mental meltdowns on a Chernobyl scale! See David doing Judy imitations in the mirror as Liza lies in a Nembutal coma on the bed! See David and Liza going in for two-for-one facelifts! See the dinner-party mix-ups as Liz Taylor accidentally eats Michael Jackson’s guest, mistaking him for a shrimp canape!
This could be WAY so better even than the Osbournes. I think what makes this new subgenre of reality shows so great is that their subjects are so anti-reality that the reality of their lives is more bizarre than any fictional TV show. That’s why the Osbournes, Smith, and Liza make such perfect subjects. Now if we can just get Michael Jackson to sign on . . .
Liza Minelli is a couple cans short of a six-pack. The last time I saw her was on a Larry King interview right after her wedding, and she was OUT THERE.
Personally I think we are all in for a disappointment. I think Ozzy & fam could pull it off, but I don’t see anyone giving a shit about Liza. I certainly don’t. This shit will fall flat on its face, and get canned faster the ‘Cop Rock’, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I will not miss a single episode.
I know someone who used to work for her and after the bizzaro stories I have heard…trust me, this show will be a doozy. Mommie Dearest is in danger of losing it’s Crown of Camp!
A few years ago, “MAD TV” did a sketch spoofing “Caroline in the City.” It was a behind-the-scenes look at the big buildup to the episode in which Caroline and her platonic friend Richard finally kiss. The actor portraying Malcolm Gets played him queerer than a three-dollar bill, talking uncomfortably about how he couldn’t wait for the scene because Lea Thompson was just so sexy. And the actress spoofing Lea Thompson played her as cheerfully clueless that her hot, hunky co-star would prefer a scene with Rock Hudson.
Every single episode of Liza’s reality show is going to be like that, and I cannot wait.
When the Osbournes show was taking off, MTV approached Alice Cooper about doing a similar show with his family. Cooper, who has never made any secret of the fact that his whole public persona is an act, supposedly told them that a series about his family’s home life would be too boring to televise.
Now if this whole fad had started ten or fifteen years ago, they could have done the Zappa Family Hour. I’d have renewed my cable to see that.
Is Liza messed up enough to show us her real life, warts and all? Or will this be an ego gloss more worthy of AMC?
Besides it’s VH-1, these are the people who gave John Lydon (Johnny Rotten) a show, then buried it at weird times, barely promoted it, and didn’t even show all six epsiodes. Were all six even made? They aparently didn’t like that he said what was on his mind. What, Johnny Rotten’s being disagreeable, surely not?
I’d love to see a Liza show like Eve described, but somehow I doubt we’ll get any thing close to it. I can just see her handlers going to DefCon 1 conditions during a possible Lorna Luft sighting.
All I have to say is Why,
I do not want to see Liza and her husband at all.
Not even to find out if her husband is gay or straight.
Judy Garland must be rolling in her grave.
I’ll watch Ozzy, maybe Gene Simmons, and possibly Puff Daddy(Not calling him P. Diddy)
I do not want to see Anna Nicole Smith, do not want to see a ditzy, stupid, fat chick who lucked out in life.
If Judy had any comments, they’d be along the lines of “Atta girl!”
After all, li’l Liza’s just following in Mama’s footsteps, ya know. Chemically-aided decadence, marriages to men who’ve never seen labiae let alone know what to do with them, spectacular twilight years blowouts…just keepin’ the tradition alive, I suppose.
I don’t know - it COULD be a real trip to watch. The stories of her in “The Andy Warhol Diaries” were pretty fascinating. Let’s face it, we all love to hear about fucked up celebrities. I’d tune in for a peek - at least.
Channel 17 - VHI
9:00 p.m.
The Queens of Manhattan
Hilarity ensues when Liza Minneli and hubby, David Gest, use each other’s mascara and foundation powder. Later, after Liza’s elbow replacement surgery, she and David attend a party at Bobby Short’s penthouse in matching Vera Wang gowns. Hilarity ensues. When Liza catches David in a compromising position with the building superintendent (Liza: “You said he was just going to check the pipes for a leak!” David: “You misheard me, sweetie. I said I was going to check HIS pipe for a leak!”), we watch as Liza takes an “accidental” overdose of Kava Kava, Boodles Gin, and Oil of Olay. A heartwarming reunion takes place at the Betty Ford Center.
Channel 17 - VHI
9:00 p.m.
The Queens of Manhattan
David and Liza check into the Joan Rivers Clinic for the Surgically Enhanced for liposuction and nose jobs. Their tags accidentally get mixed up and wackiness ensues as David’s face implodes from his 47th nose job and Liza’s lipo (“Lipo with a ‘P’”) winds up being distributed in the cafeteria as a Pudding Cup. Liz Taylor and Mickey Rooney visit, bringing with them shopping-bagsful of painkillers and lithium, which are confiscated at the door. Liz marries one of the interns and Mickey is waylaid on the children’s floor, where he is mistaken for a Cabbage Patch doll.
Channel 17 - VHI
9:00 p.m.
The Queens of Manhattan
David and Liza go on tour, but accidentally find themselves backstage at Pepe’s Bar & TexMex in the San Fernando Valley. Seems when they asked David if he wanted to do the Valley, he understood, “Do you want to do the Valet?”. So while David is backstage trying to hide the burrito, Liza gamely steps up to the challenge and joins a chorus of Liza drag queens on stage in a lively, Spanish version of Nuevo York, Nuevo York.
Channel 17 - VHI
9:00 p.m.
The Queens of Manhattan
David and Liza, preparing for their long-awaited (and oddly unfulfilled) parenthood, decide to adopt a pet. They go to the local shelter, where they find spinning around on the floor like Curly Halvsie, the Two-Legged Dog. They bring Halvsie home and down vodka on the rocks (the “rocks” being made of pills) while watching Halvsie spin around on the floor. Liz Taylor drops by with Cindy Adams and accidentally leaves wearing Halvsie as a kolinsky. Panic ensues.
Channel 17 - VHI
9:00 p.m.
The Queens of Manhattan
Michael Jackson joins the cast when he and his 10 year old “buddy” move next door to Liza and David. While Liza is recovering from her earlobe replacement surgery, Michael and David plan to stage “The Kiwi Shoe Polish Follies - Starring Ann Miller.” Watch as David, Michael, and Ann audition chorus boys and fend off a hostile takeover bid of the production by George Michael. Hilarity ensues when Halvsie, the Two-Legged Dogs lifts his leg to pee and falls in the floor in a heap.
