So I flew for the first time since 9/11. I’ve been scared to, really. Not because I’m afraid of hijackings or dying, but rather because I didn’t want to know the extent of the beaurocratic uselessness that had been installed under the disguise of “enhanced security”. Suffice it to say, I hate it when I’m right - it was every bit as bad as I’d feared.
Upon arriving, I was informed that I could not carry my cup of McDonalds coffee through the checkpoint. Perhaps they thought I’d smuggled in some C-4 or something. Ridiculous, but ultimately what can you do. There’s no arguing with the drones.
I was asked to remove my shoes. I guess there’s no originality in the world. One guy tries to set his shoes on fire, so now that must be the most likely form of weapon to be used on an aircraft - no one was asked to remove any other article of clothing for inspection.
I was wanded several times - most of our clothing today has some form of metal on it, so it was pretty much a given that I’d have to be patted down a few times to make sure I didn’t smuggle any dangerous materials on board. After all, you can never be Too Careful[sup]TM[/sup]
And yet, after passing through all of the lines, all of the scrutiny, the shoe-removal, arguing with the drones, I boarded the aircraft with my keys, four ballpoint pens, my belt, and my knowledge of Tae Kwon Do. These were just the items I could think of off the top of my head which might be made into weapons.
Anyone with the intelligence of a cucumber can still ‘terrorize’ an aircraft. The enhanced security measures have done nothing but add great amounts of hassle and indignity to the passengers lives for the least possible gain.
Yet we tolerate it. We’ve permitted the airlines, the FAA, whoever, to institute these stupid ineffective rules in the name of security, only to make our own travels more difficult while doing nothing to actually bolster security. We’ve simply put a pretty face on it - ‘Run around and look busy, and people will think something is getting done!’ Feh.
Well, I hate you all.
The airlines. I am (rarely) required to fly for business reasons. Other than that, I will avoid using your services as much as possible. It was bad enough when you simply had cramped seats and wouldn’t give me a full can of soda.
The politicians - I personally pledge that I will not vote for any politician who supports the current state of airport security.
The FAA. The security drones. The list goes on.
And nothing will change. My ranting is simply a tale told by an idiot, full of sound and fury, signifying nothing. Would that we could apply some reason to these new security measures, but alas I fear it is not to be. I’m just shaking my fist at the windmills.
