A diatribe to alcohol...

[Voetsack]

So this is a poem that I've written as an apology to a girl that I had a date with. If you have any suggestions to improve it, let me know.

Cosmopolitan, you often give advice on love and life
And yet you transform into liquid and cause nothing but strife
Every time I raised my glass,
I became an even bigger jackass

Was it you or was it me, oh buttery nipple?
Oh dear, what would have happened if I had a triple?
Did your sweet exterior
Cause me to expose my sinful interior?
Of course you did, you filthy swine
Maybe I should have just stuck to wine.


Vodka and cranberry, oh what a sin!
No wonder I am perceived as the devil within.
I’ve impressed the notion that I share the throne with the devil in hell,
And heck I thought that one would be so hard to sell

The girl that could have been,
Has now become a confirmed phantom to me.

[Jessity]

Was it just one date?

Sometimes the best thing is to just say: "I'm sorry I was an ass."

Nice poem, though.

[Voetsack]

Yeah, it was a first date, and I said some really stupid things while I was drunk, talking about an ex-gf obviously isn't the best of topics. Alcohol is mean.

Hemminway said, "Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut".

Still not sure if I will send it to her though. I am a complete fuckwit.

[Jessity]

Well, okay.

She may not want a second date with you at all, but it would look good on your part to go ahead and offer a sincere apology.

You seem to be bothered by your actions, and you seem to think she was also bothered, so why not just say: 'Hey, I'm sorry, I was a total jackass...' She may still not want a second date, but I think you'd feel better if you apologized.

[Melandry]

Yeah, since it was a first date I'd just give her a quick, straight-out apology for your behavior. If you had been seeing her for awhile she might appreciate a quirky poetic apology, but from a first date it seems kind of weird. Also, the poem, while amusing, doesn't come off as much an apology.