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#1
10-19-1999, 09:38 AM
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Well, it looks like I am the only one upright this morning, so it will be up to me to fill everyone in.
Ike, Melanie, Manhattan, Alphagene and I all congregated at a cozy Russian dive last night in midtown, had a lovely time. They all knocked back the vodka like Prohibition was about to come back in, while I was named the Designated Wisecracker and confined myself to tea (and prescription painkillers, like the rest of the grownups). We had a lovely time, everyone was just as gorgeous and witty and chic as you'd expect--we dished the hell out of all of you. Who we like and dislike; who has good and absent senses of humor; who was wise or foolish to post their photos, etc. Ike's in a meeting this morning (above or under the table, I don't know). Let's see if the others managed to crawl to their respective offices . . . 
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#2
10-19-1999, 09:50 AM
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That meeting must be hell for Uke Ike. Flora, I wish you would have stayed all night! Everyone missed you terribly when you departed so prematurely.
Where's Manhattan? He compiled a list of all the posters we talked about. And I wanted to personally thank Manhattan for letting us clean out his wallet. We all owe you - big time. It left Alphagene and me with enough money to continue drinking after the old folks (JUST KIDDING) went home. Basically, all three of the male New Yorkers were extremely witty, hilarious and attractive. The rest of the female teeming millions should be very jealous. And Flora takes the cake: beauty, intelligence, grace. When is our next meeting?
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#3
10-19-1999, 09:56 AM
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OK, I'll chime in here. The Russian Vodka Room was great, although it was not as bitchin' as the brunch at the Holiday Inn! Bwahahahahahahaha!!!!!
Flora "Why the hell does anyone smoke?" McFlimsey, we very much enjoyed your company, but about 15 seconds after you left, we all lit up simultaneously. I was very impressed with everyone. The blues thread I started made it obvious and taking part in the congregation last night confirmed it: I am an uncultured fuck. While the other four were spouting pithy bon mots across the table, alluding to movies that I've never seen and musicians who I've never heard, I sat at the table feeling like Mel Gibson's feral toddler sidekick from The Road Warrior. You guys were a hell of a lot of fun. We made a list of all the poor dopes we discussed, I beleive manhattan has it. We covered many people. I learned that Melanie's real name is impossible to pronounce. It's like those cheesy Star Trek episodes (that's redundant) where some character says "My name is not pronouncable by the human tongue." I'll think of more dirt as the cranberry vodka haze clears up a bit. ------------------ "The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too." -- Matt Groening
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#4
10-19-1999, 10:05 AM
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I'm sorry to butt in on your thread here (hey, New York was once Nieuw Amsterdam
 ), but I just would like to stress that Manhattan has the moral obligation now to publish that list of discussed names in this very thread, accompanied by the topics covered regarding the names mentioned.*Opens a can of beer and a bag of crisps, leans back in anticipation  *------------------ Coldfire ________________________________ "You know how complex women are" - Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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#5
10-19-1999, 10:07 AM
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manhattan has been recovering this morning. manhattan learned that he is too old to drink straight Vodka by the carafe, even when there’s yummy horseradish in it. manhattan has only a bare recollection of the 7:30 meeting this morning. manhattan is old.
That all said, a smashing good time was had by all. Flora will be horrified to know that after she left but probably before she got to the corner of 8th, 4 cigarettes lit. More vodka came. More cigarettes, more vodka, then beer. Alpha undersells himself. He is terrific, smart, and funny. But yes, from time to time we ended up shrugging at each other while melanie and Uke spoke about their sax lives. Here is an abridged, alphabetized, misspelled list of posters who came up at one point or another. Topics? I think not. Akatsukami andros ARG Beeruser BenDover bj0rn Bunnygirl C#3 CapnCrude Cecil Adams ChiefScott ChrisCTP Christi CKDexHavn CMKeller Coldfire CowGod (moo) David B. dhanson Diane DIF dougie_monty Drain Bead Ed Zotti Eutycus55 JillGat Kellibelli Lion&Family Lynn Bodani Markxxx matt_mcl Mazey Melatonin Melin NickRZ Omni and not OpalCat orangecakes Pickman's Model PLDennison Polycarp quadell Saki Samauri Satan Sealemon SqrlCub Strtrkr777 TUBADIVA TVeblen Unclebeer WallyM7 Alpha and melanie: How was the afterparty? ------------------ Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
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#6
10-19-1999, 10:09 AM
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You New Yorkers sure are quick
No topics ??? Awwwww c'mon puhleeeaeaaeaeze ??? Hell, at least I was mentioned... ------------------ Coldfire ________________________________ "You know how complex women are" - Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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#7
10-19-1999, 10:16 AM
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For the record: it just wasn't ANY fun after Manhattan and Uke left! Alphagene couldn't pronounce my name, bars were closing early, taxis too expensive, etc etc.
We went to Bar 54 where Alphie enjoyed his very first Skyy vodka martini. Then we sort of got kicked out. Then we went to this other bar that had pilot stuff all over the place where I showed Al no mercy on the pool table. Then we went home! End of story. Feelin' fine!
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#8
10-19-1999, 10:17 AM
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Well, goodness, aren't you all POLITE? You could have lit up, or at least asked. Who says New Yorkers are rude?
I must explain my tea-totaling, in case anyone thinks I'm a follower of Carrie Nation. Actually, I am deathly allergic to alcohol and get food poisoning if I have so much as a millimeter of the stuff. So I looked on wistfully over my teacup as my fellow Board Members drained the city dry. Oh, and you all mustn't think that we had only evil to speak of others on the MB--indeed, several ears must have been tingling pleasurably. For those of you who are curious: Melanie: Cute as several buttons, wavy dark hair, wholesome looking (but don't be fooled!). Manhattan: Also cute and dark, much more sardonic looking. Alphagene: Tall drink of water, dreamy eyes, short dark hair. All three late 20s, I'd guess. Ike and I are such proud parents!
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#9
10-19-1999, 10:20 AM
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:::whew:::
I wasn't. Or is that not a good thing? Uh oh. Am I boring? <heading off to the Pit to espouse an off-pissing viewpoint> ------------------ Most common question I ask: "What?" Most common question I get: "Are you really hearing impaired?"
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#11
10-19-1999, 10:22 AM
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"I showed Al no mercy on the pool table."
That, Melanie, is how rumors get started... ------------------ "The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too." -- Matt Groening
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#12
10-19-1999, 10:24 AM
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Oh My GOD!!!! I was mentioned!!!!!! This is truly an honour!!!
Uh, wait a minute. Come to think of it, pretty much depends on what was said, doesn't it?? 
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#13
10-19-1999, 10:26 AM
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A quick addition to the thread.
Various topics discussed last night: limp reeds felching trailers qualifications to be a stripper fruity behavior German fingering ------------------ "The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too." -- Matt Groening
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#14
10-19-1999, 10:27 AM
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Well, I'm glad ya'll had a good time and apparently made it to work this morning. You guys have set the standard for the Ohio Hayseed Chapter Meeting coming up on the weekend of 11/6/99.
We'll see if we can raise the bar a little bit. The next group will have to jump somewhat higher as we have an overnighter planned in Columbus. Coldfire, I gotta disagree with you here; I really don't want to hear the topics discussed regarding the dopers. All I know is my ears were burning last night. It could have been the margaritas though. I raised one in abstentia to youse guys (and gals). ------------------ "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
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#15
10-19-1999, 10:30 AM
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WTF ????
German fingering ? Did I miss something that could have lowered my Purity Score here ------------------ Coldfire ________________________________ "You know how complex women are" - Neil Peart, Rush (1993)
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#16
10-19-1999, 10:36 AM
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I am suprised that my name was mentioned in the list. As I recall I have not had much discussion with any of you guys. Now if Phil or David B. had mentioned me I would know the context, but with you guys I am curious. Though I see you also mentioned PolyCarp and Pickman, so I will take it as a good thing.
Jeffery
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#17
10-19-1999, 10:36 AM
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"The next group will have to jump somewhat higher as we have an overnighter planned"
Who's saying we didn't have an overnighter? Sorry, just trying to start some more rumors.
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#18
10-19-1999, 10:37 AM
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I'm horrified.
What did you say about me? I must know how a collection of extraordinarily bright and sophisticated New Yorkers feel about l'il ol' me.... ------------------ "ChrisCTP-...the sweetheart of the SDMB..." --Diane Chris' Homepage: Domestic Bliss
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#19
10-19-1999, 10:59 AM
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Well, I'm just going to have to bat my eyes innocently. It WAS very strong tea, you know, and I was the first to leave (I had other fish to fry). So I dunno what was said about EVERYone.
As far as subjects went, Ike and I were the first to show up, and had our literary discussion: Dickens, William Dean Howells, Henri Murger, Anthony Trollope (and other assorted Trollopes). Then the Bright Young Things began to stagger in, Ike wiped the lipstick off his cheek, I rearranged my petticoats, and we got down to some serious dishing. CM, we did miss you! We were planning on knocking you to the ground and forcing a pork roll down your throat, just to see if you vanished in a puff of smoke. And Cap'n Crude, too busy pumping up at the gym, hoping to impress Mel and I? Oh, well . . .
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#21
10-19-1999, 11:11 AM
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I didnt want to be the first to ask....but now I can What did you say about me??
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#22
10-19-1999, 11:24 AM
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Well, Kelli and Satan, I had nice things to say about both of you--indeed, I think you two would make an adorable couple.
I did mention that it's alway a bad idea to post photos, as our mental images of Board Members are always better than reality. Satan, I just can't be afraid of you now that I've seen you . . . Baseball? Well, perhaps the gentlemen discussed the Brooklyn Dodgers while waiting at the men's room (which had a disturbing poster of Lenin over the door).
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#23
10-19-1999, 11:25 AM
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Damn, I must need to post more. Either that or act a lot smarter to get noticed. I think I'll start a club for the people not talked about. I'll call it The Unmentionables.
------------------ Yes, the weather is the same up here. Yes, I play basketball. No, never heard a tall joke before. Aaaargh.
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#24
10-19-1999, 11:28 AM
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Exclusion from that list above does not necessarily mean that a person was unmentioned (nor certainly unmentionable). It means only that alpha's drunken scrawl last night and my blood-shot eyes this morning had a miscommunication, that's all.
------------------ Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
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#25
10-19-1999, 11:42 AM
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God, that sounds like fun. I'm glad such a good time was had by all; it'd suck if you made the effort to get together and then everyone secretly thought everyone (except them, of course) was just a bunch of lamers.
Please post the minutes of the Ohio meeting promptly after it adjourns!
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#26
10-19-1999, 11:43 AM
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Okay, I'm finally here. I must find a profession that does NOT require morning meetings on mornings after.
There was...singing. At least, I recall the intention of singing. Manhattan, Alphagene and I ALL coming in on the bass (we're a deep-voiced group), followed by embarrassed throat-clearing, a short debate on who could handle tenor, then more vodka and off to the next topic. The groups at the adjoining tables found us a fascinating study. Vodka. I must second manhattan's comments. Next time, the grown-ups pick the bar. I'm proud to say that manny and I were smart enough to switch to beer after we'd downed about a pint of iced vodka apiece. Good, rich, Estonian pilsener beer. Manhattan, thanks again, and next time *I* grab the check! The subject of German fingering and limp reeds came up during one of my conversations with Melanie about our saxophones. We tried NOT to talk about our saxophones, to be kind to Al and manny, but you know how saxophonists can be. Suffice to say that Mel is the proud owner of a German-made, silver-plated tenor with a mysterious key down by the bell on the righthand side, and this enigma was a topic to which we returned again and again. Flora: aren't you glad you left before the fourth vodka round arrived? Kellibelli...we all think that you're...Whoops! There's my phone! ------------------ Uke
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#27
10-19-1999, 11:55 AM
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Of course, Ike darling, you don't REALLY know where I went, or to whom, do you?
Perhaps there are better ways than to spend the night downing vodka and fingering Germans' limp reeds, as charming as my fellow diners were . . .
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#28
10-19-1999, 01:01 PM
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Okay,whaddidya say about me?
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#29
10-19-1999, 01:02 PM
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::busy checking her calendar for her next business trip to NYC::
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#30
10-19-1999, 01:21 PM
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[Clockwork Orange]Appy polly loggies of the most sincere nature, O My Brothers, for missing last night's revel. Your Humble Narrator was unavoidably detained at his place of rabbiting until nearly 9 PM, earning his paycheck. I could have walked the few blocks to that mesto where you congregated, but I needed to be off homeways for some much-needed spatchka.[/Clockwork Orange]
I'm gratified that my name came up in conversation, and I hope it wasn't just to wonder why I didn't show up. Glad you had a good time. ------------------ --Da Cap'n
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#31
10-19-1999, 01:48 PM
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Wahhhhhh...I didn't make the cut.....It's 7th basketball tryouts all over again......::::sniff::::
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#32
10-19-1999, 01:49 PM
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Wahhhhhh...I didn't make the cut.....It's 7th basketball tryouts all over again......::::sniff::::
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#33
10-19-1999, 02:06 PM
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Shirl, no sweat. We must've spent twenty minutes talking about what a boss chick you are.
Alpha probably just scrawled your handle next to Sqrlcub's, and manhattan thought he'd written the same name twice... [neatly done, eh, gang?] I'll send a shipment of salmon caviar to Columbus from Marshall's Smoked Fish in Brooklyn, if the Clevelanders promise to reciprocate with a crate of kielbasa, from the butcher of their choice, from the West Side Market. This may be the Greatest City in Da Woild, but it's woefully deficient in Polish delicatessen.
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#34
10-19-1999, 02:20 PM
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Uke, sorry, you're wrong, another reason for you to venture into the slums of Park Slope. There are two Polish delis on my block - one makes homemade sausages (there's always this bizarre burning smell in the neighborhood). Great bakery, too.
As for all of you wondering what we talked about, I'll just say this: I have never laughed so much in my life. Uke, the singing? Was I in the bathroom? Or are you talking about the "My Way" droning? Flora, Alphie and I are in mid 20's. Won't speak for Manhattan, but I hope he wins big in Vegas. Next outing: Blues show!
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#36
10-19-1999, 02:36 PM
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Mullinator sez:
Quote:
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#37
10-19-1999, 02:36 PM
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Oh, yeah, you're speaking of Eagle Provisions. I know it well.
The boys at Eagle definitely make the best Polish sausage in the five boroughs...but it is mere belly-fodder, ballast for a stevedore, compared to the sublime kielbasas available in the great Midwestern capitals. Sausages bring out the poet in me. Don't get me started on bratwurst. ------------------ Uke
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#38
10-19-1999, 02:40 PM
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Mel, you don't remember the singing? YOU offered to take the High Tenor...with me on Melody, manhattan as Baritone, and Alphagene on Bass.
There was also some scatting, as I recall, on Charlie Parker's "Blues for Alice."
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#39
10-19-1999, 02:44 PM
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Memory....slowly...coming....back....
Oh, yeah! Weird. Thanks for screwing my brain back on. I suppose that's one of the signs of an alcoholic.
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#40
10-19-1999, 02:52 PM
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Well, folks, it's time.
I'm off to beautiful and historic Newark Airport to see what the folks at Continental can do about flying me to Vegas. Don't know if I'll get much on-line time there, so I'll post to you when I get back. P.S. If you read about a Continental Air crash tonight, you'll know that I'm not going to lose a lot of money at the tables. ------------------ Livin' on Tums, Vitamin E and Rogaine
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#41
10-19-1999, 02:52 PM
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Sausage poetry? You asked for it Uke.
Wurst Sonnet This eve dispels the winter's chilly curse, The moon's thin curve might bring on thoughts of spring, If only I could rid my thoughts of Wurst, The best of commerce to the list I'd bring. Confused so I cannot help but think, The stuffing of my mind extends its casing, And filling swells it to the bursting brink, Relief I'll seek in some poetic tracing. To rid myself of dreams of links and meat Fly fishing thoughts I'll let my brain massage, But just as tuboid images retreat In flows the smell of tempting, hot sausage Undone am I by puns 'bout this and that Guess I'll give in and have another brat. ------------------ "The problem with the world is that everyone is a few drinks behind." - Humphrey Bogart
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#42
10-19-1999, 03:21 PM
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YES! 5 drunk New Yorkers got to talk about me! YESS!
------------------ "I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."-- Calvin and Hobbes (__) `\/-------\ `| |-----| |\ ..c.c......c.c....
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#43
10-19-1999, 03:23 PM
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wait, make that 4 drunk new yorkers, and a sober tea drinker...
------------------ "I'm not dumb. I just have a command of thoroughly useless information."-- Calvin and Hobbes (__) `\/-------\ `| |-----| |\ ..c.c......c.c....
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#44
10-19-1999, 04:36 PM
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Wow... from now on anyone who is upset that they weren't on the list is going to get the following knee-jerk response.
"Oh! Right! We forgot to put you on the list, ____________. We discussed your sharp wit, excellent grammar and sexual prowess at length." The goal was not to make people feel excluded, but to make people lose hours -- even days -- of sleep worrying about what exactly Alphagene thinks of them. Which I know you all are doing. ------------------ "The world ends when I die. And as far as I'm concerned, the rest of the universe might as well call it a day too." -- Matt Groening
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#45
10-19-1999, 05:26 PM
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Sure thing Falcon, you can join the gang. I'll definitely take you under my wing.
------------------ Yes, the weather is the same up here. Yes, I play basketball. No, never heard a tall joke before. Aaaargh.
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#46
10-19-1999, 06:42 PM
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Dang it Alpha, I can't go more than a couple of decades without someone discussing my sexual prowess. For those who are wondering I am indeed a legend in my own mind. Everything you have heard is likely true and a few things that you haven't heard are definitely true. It's that Star Trek thing isn't it. Chicks find us so sexy.
Oh well, now that the cat is out of the bag. I guess there is no hiding any longer. However, I am unavailable for the next 90 years or so, since I am indeed happily married. Sorry gals. Jeffery
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#47
10-19-1999, 11:48 PM
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Quote:
-------------------------- Eeyore, the stealth poster.
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#48
10-20-1999, 12:11 AM
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Wow. I think I'm honored. I don't know. Of course, it could be that I'm really not paranoid and you all really are out to get me.
When's the Michigan meeting?
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#50
10-20-1999, 12:50 AM
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SHHHHHHH...don't mention the caviar and blinis!
Now UncleBeer will INSIST on having them at the Columbus get-together...
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