"Simpsons"-isms in everyday life

[masonite]

What phrases and routines from The Simpsons do you do or say in your day-to-day life? I have several which are so natural to me that I'm usually unconsious of them.

Example:
When I pick up the flavor of Friskies canned catfood known as "Sea Captain's Choice", I automatically say to the kitties, "Arrrr! The Seeeea Captain's Choice!" in character. The Lord knows what they think of me.

So what little things do you say all the time, just as a matter of course, from The Simpsons?

p.s.

I have some sympathy for people who are sick of all the Simpsons threads lately. I'm almost sick of them myself. Almost, but not quite. There's always room for one more, in my humble opinion. (In which forum I almost put this.)

C'mon, it's The Simpsons!

[Violet]

None! Maybe because I don't watch it often. But the ones I've seen are sooooo amusing.

[erislover]

OK, we're at a meeting in work and one cow-orker says, "Irregardless, I think we should..." and I cut her off:

"'Irregardless'? It's just regardless."

Another cow-orker pipes up, "What's the matter with 'irregardless'? It's a perfectly cromulent word." Man that was perfect.

We also use "embiggen" a lot. Also, "science-pole." Love that one.

[LorieSmurf]

I think everyone that watches the Simpsons does a Homer thing, too...the "Mmmmmm...<insert food product here>"

[Chocobo]

I'm rather particular to the Burns style "Excellent..."

[cainxinth]

DOH!

[Alma]

Oddly enough, I find myself saying quite often:

"It ate everybody..."

[masonite]

What's a "science pole"? I missed that one. (d'oh!)

[Larry Mudd]

The ones (over one syllable) that I tend to salt my conversation with most frequently are, in no particular order,

• "Me fail english? That's unpossible!"
• "Chemicals are our friends."
  
  and
  
• "The dead have risen and they're voting Republican!"

[Markside]

I find myself daying "D'oh!" from time to time. Only, not as loud as Homer would.

[AchimbaProphet]

D'oh, Excellent, and Mmmm I use frequently. You can be quite expressive with them. I wish they made a keychain with three buttons that said just those things.

"Tastes like burning" (Ralph) is my favorite but it hardly ever comes into context so I do not get a chance to use it often.

[jk1245]

I use Nelson's "Ha ha" quite a bit.

Our office phones have ID on them, so a few of answer "Ahoy hoy" if we see another Simpson freak is calling.

[elf6c]

Here is a few (now I have my wife doing it too!). I put the whole joke so you can get the content, but often use just the punchline:

Sea Captain McAllister: "Arr, here be a fine vessel, the yarest river goin' boat
thar be."
Homer: "I'll take it!"
(the boat sinks)
McAllister: (sadly) "Arr, I don't know what I'm doin'."


McAllister: "Arr, matee, narry a warning light to be seen. Clear
sailin' ahead for our precious cargo."
Sailor: "Uh, would that be the hot pants, sir?"
McAllister: "Aye, the hot pants."

Charity Bachelor Auction reject:
Krusty: "Come on! He likes sunsets, what more do you want?"
McAllister: "Arr, I'm not attractive."

Homer: To alcohol! The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems.

Rev. Lovejoy: Wait a minute. This sounds like rock and/or roll.

Homer: Got any of that beer that has candy floating in it? You know, Skittlebrau?
Apu: Such a beer does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.
Homer: Oh. Well, then just give me a six-pack and a couple of bags of Skittles.

Homer: I saw this in a movie about a bus that had to SPEED around a city, keeping its SPEED over fifty, and if its SPEED dropped, it would explode. I think it was called, "The Bus That Couldn't Slow Down."

Kang: Holy fleurking schnit!

Marge: Homer, the plant called. They said if you don't show up tomorrow don't bother showing up on Monday.
Homer: Woo-hoo! Four-day weekend!

Shopkeeper: Take this object, but beware: it carries a terrible curse!
Homer: Oooh, that's bad.
Shopkeeper: But it comes with a free Frogurt!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The Frogurt is also cursed.
Homer: That's bad.
Shopkeeper: But you get your choice of toppings!
Homer: That's good!
Shopkeeper: The toppings contain potassium benzoate.
[Homer looks puzzled.]
Shopkeeper: That's bad.
Homer: Can I go now?

Grampa Simpson: Welcome home, son. I broke two lamps and lost all your mail. What's wrong with your wife?
Homer: Never mind, you wouldn't understand.
Grampa Simpson: Flu?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Protein deficiency?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Pneumonoultramicroscopicsilicovolcanoconiosis?
Homer: No.
Grampa Simpson: Unsatisfying sex life?
Homer: N -- yes. But please, don't you say that word!
Grampa Simpson: What, seeex? What's so unappealing about hearing your elderly father talk about sex? I had seeeeex.

Homer: Here are your messages: You have 30 minutes to move your car. You have 10 minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have 30 minutes to move your cube.

Homer: Sometimes I think we're the worst family in town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.

Bart: I am through with working. Working is for chumps.
Homer: Son, I'm proud of you! I was twice your age when I figured that out.

Homer: Kids, kids. I'm not going to die. That only happens to bad people.
Bart: What about Abraham Lincoln?
Homer: Uh, he sold poison milk to school children.

Chief Wiggum: What IS your fascination with my forbidden closet of mysteries?

George Washington: We had quitters during the Revolution too. . . we called them Kentuckians.

No lawyer is complete without this one:

Judge: Mr. Hutz, are you aware you're not wearing any pants?
Lionel Hutz: Uh, your Honor, can I call for one of those bad trial thingys?
Judge: You mean a mistrial?
Lionel Hutz: Yeah...that's why you're the judge, and I am the law.. talkin'...guy.

Mr. Burns: A lifetime of working with nuclear power has left me with a healthy green blow... and left me as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner.

Homer: Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed? That's the American way.

Homer: Kids, you tried your best and you failed miserably. The lesson is, never try.

Maude Flanders: They were having S-E-X in front of C-H-I-L-D-R-E-N!
Krusty the Clown: Sex Cauldron? I thought they closed that place down!

Chief Wiggum: No jury in the world is going to convict a baby. ...Maybe Texas.

And my #1 all time favorite:

Insurance Agent: Now, before I give you the check, one more question. This place "Moe's" you left just before the accident. This is a business of some kind?
Homer's Brain: Don't tell him you were at a bar. Gasp! But what else is open at night?
Homer: It's a pornography store. I was buying pornography.
Homer's Brain: Heh heh heh. I woulda never thought of that.

[Skammer]

I use many of the ones mentioned here, especially "cromulent" and the unpossible quote.

Some others that have caused strange looks to be cast at me:

"Rock stars! Is there anything they can't do?"
"It takes two to lie: one to lie and one to listen"
"You don't make friends with salad! You don't make friends with salad!"
"Can't talk -- eating!"
"Lies make baby Jesus cry!"

[Morgainelf]

My cat's breath smells like cat food.

Mmmmm...potato chips!

Excellent!

D'OH!

[ElwoodCuse]

My favorite one is Homer's "xxxx, eh?" after someone gives him an idea or something. Example: Akira tells him that Mr. Sparkle is made in Hokkaido, Japan. Homer's reply: "Hokkaido, eh?"

[Horrifying Howler Monkey]

Marge, I can't be expected to keep track of all my wheelings and dealings!

I use that one often at work, usually in response to "Did you order THESE?!"

[desdinova]

The obvious winner is "Internet, eh?", sometimes followed with "Maude, eh?"

I work in real estate, and another classic is "Yar, I nailed the one about house-boats, did you?"

Oh yeah, also "Don't worry money. Your money's money is all that money."

And finally, "... or we'll choke their rivers with our dead!"

[middleman]

My then-girlfriend (later fiancee' and now wife) thought I was an incredibly witty and quirky person until she started watching the Simpsons with me. She sooned realized I was a hack who ripped off the Simpsons left and right. She thought they were all watsonwil originals.

I tried to convince her that it was "how you use it"...

[Spudo]

In this house we obey the laws of thermodynamics!

[jehovah68]

Probably "Mmmm...", "D'oh!", "Hah-hah" and "Excellent" the most, but I also will use
"Thank you, come again!" (Apu)
"I call the big one fighty." (Homer)
"Disco Stu doesn't advertise."
"Who wants to hold new mommy's hair while she vomits?"
"Okeleedokelee."
There's many more, but they come out as the situation arises.
How come nobody has mentioned comic book guy yet? Worst. Thread. Ever.

[Happy Lendervedder]

Around the office, if something pisses us off, we've been known to utter, "Stupid, sexy <fill in the blank...microwave, copier, coffee pot, boss>"





Stupid, sexy Happy

[jehovah68]

D'oh!
How could I forget the slick talking guy (he's never been named AFAIK): "Oh, hey, a fat, sarcastic Star Trek fan. You must be a hit with the ladies, pal."
And the happiest man in town: "No, not me, friends. He's talking about himself. But thanks for noticing!"

[tarragon918]

Naturally, I have in all likelihood (LOL) over-used D'OH! And yes, I have actually used "Woo hoo! Four day weekend!" My daughter and I love Apu, though neither of us sound like him when we trade "Thank you, come again!"s "Excellent!" combined with rubbing one's hands together suffices for a decent imitation of Mr. Burns, though. And the classic, "MMMMMMMM.... <insert practically anything deliciously and decadently edible here> !"

[voguevixen]

We park our cars in the "car-hole."

My blue Betta fish is named "Wiggum."

I can't keep track of all the sayings I use regularly.

[CBCD]

Our current family favorite - saying someone is 'a Viking'.

Ralph said, in some episode, 'My dreams - that's where I'm a Viking!'

[Nutty Bunny]

Originally posted by AchimbaProphet
D'oh, Excellent, and Mmmm I use frequently. You can be quite expressive with them. I wish they made a keychain with three buttons that said just those things.

"Tastes like burning" (Ralph) is my favorite but it hardly ever comes into context so I do not get a chance to use it often.

That's my all-time favorite, too.

What's funny is that just about an hour ago, my boss smelled the new monitor we got (you know how new equipment smells when you first use it) and he accidentally said, "It sounds like burning." I cracked up and said, "Oh my god, you sound like Ralph Wiggam!" Bwah!

[NailBunny]

"Do I know what rhetorical means?!"

I've used that one with great success.

[Mockingbird]

I saw a license plate yesterday that sad DOH.

[B.Pants]

Originally posted by jehovah68
"I call the big one fighty." (Homer)

I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he calls the big one "Bitey". Either that, or I've been hearing it wrong all this time.

[malden]

[Jasper voice]

"Moon Pie... what a time to be alive..."

[/Jasper voice]




And three from Homer:

"SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP!"

"These doughnuts you speak of... are they real or symbolic?"

"Mmmmm... unexplained bacon."

[ElwoodCuse]

It IS bitey. That one was on last night.

Moon pies! I always say that whenever I actually buy/eat a moon pie.

[Mamapotomus]

My co-worker is big on "Excellent Smithers...". I use Apu's "Thank you, come again" too much, and "It tastes like burning" for anything not yummy.

[Alias]

We use a lot of the Comic Book Guy's "Best/Worst. (insert word her). Ever." in our house. Even my 5-year-old daugher says it. It's a great thing to hear a little kid quoting the funnier aspects of The Simpsons.

A friend of mine and I are also quite fond of

HOMER: Bacon that sausage boy!
BART: But Dad. . .
HOMER: Bacon it!
BART: My heart hurts!

[jehovah68]

Originally posted by B.Pants
I could be wrong, but I'm pretty sure he calls the big one "Bitey". Either that, or I've been hearing it wrong all this time.

Sorry about that.
Another one I'd like to add:
"If it's yeller, you've got juice there feller. If it's brown, you're in cider town."

[Lenny & Carl]

Whenever I hear someone uses a curse word, I always bust out with, "Ohh, my freakin' ears!" (Rod or Todd Flanders)

"It's funny 'cause it's true" (Fat Tony) always comes in handy when someone says something rediculous.

Of course, "Worst ____ ever" (Comic Book guy) makes it in to conversations all the time.

I think I use "Excellent" a little too much.

But my all-time favorite Simpsons quote/scene is:

(at the beach)

Homer: [to Pinchy] Relax, boy. We're not gonna cook you! Enjoy your day at the beach. Ooh, look, here's a little playmate for ya'.
(he picks up a snail and puts it in front of Pinchy. The snail bites Pinchy. Pinchy hides behind Homer's leg.)
Hey! You don't have to take that from no punk-ass crab! What's wrong with you?

(Captain McAllister walks on)

McAllister: Y'arr, it's not his fault he's a sissy. (looks at Marge) Someone's been coddling him.
Marge: Don't look at me! I wanted to eat him!
McAllister: Eh, sorry, it's usually the mother. Eh, y-you know, I run a small academy for lobsters like this one. We stress "tough love." Daily chores and the like.
Marge: No! We're not sending the lobster away to some snobby boarding school.
McAllister: Y'arr, I understand. It's hard to let go. Eh, tell me this, then ... do you have any spare change?


I just haven't yet figured out how to fit in the "... do you have any spare change?" line into everyday conversations. But when I do, look out!

[xizor]

I always use "purple monkey dishwasher" whenever I need a random gibberish phrase.

Whenever removing my pants and there is sonmeone within earshot, I always use "must... drop... pantaloons..."

Also "Professional athletes - always wanting more"

[Mr.Wilson]

"Homer no function beer well without."
I like to substitue my name in for Homer's

I also find myself calling a carport a "carhold" more and more often.

And maybe some of you Simpson gurus can help me out.
Wasn't there an episode where Marge was giving Homer some
instructions to which Homer replies "Put the what in the what now." Or something similar to that?

[Freudian Slit]

With my bro and I, whenever one of us is getting flustered/confused, like, "What [insert thing here]", the other will respond with, "What bad things, why?" from the food critic episode.

We do the same thing when one of us says, "But- but- but," following it up with "But the poncho!" "But the poncho! Hit the road, square."

[Bryan Ekers]

I typically slip in a "GLAVIN!" whenever I find myself casually discussing some piece of Trek trivia and betraying my own innate geekery.

[MovieMogul]

Another vote for "Ha ha"

[KGS]

"The Internet? Is that thing still around?"

"Wow, you're smarter than I gave you credit for!"

"What an odd thing to say."

"Well Chief, don't quit your day job! Heh heh, whatever that is."

[MissTake]

D'oh!
Ha Ha!
Thankyoucomeagain!

are the three big ones in my house.

[ftg]

I got the "Can't talk, eating." from a rapidly growing teenage boy once.

I like to do the two flavors of "uh-uh-uh-uh".
The first is used after naming a tasting food, the 2nd is like when you find out your two sister-in-laws are coming over. Same "word", different intonation.

[stolichnaya]

"Who shot who in the what now?"

and

*Hibbert's giggle*

and

"Hey, Everybody!"

[BabaBooey]

I use the "Your ideas intrigue me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter" whenever someone says something interesting, but it's even better when people say something stupid.

[Gala Matrix Fire]

When I apologize to my husband for anything, he replies, "'Sorry' doesn't put thumbs back on the hand, Marge!"

[YellowTail]

"It's like there's a party in my mouth and everyone's throwing up."

"It's crap-tacular."

[Just Some Guy]

Cromulant has come up quite a bit in conversation and "It tastes like burning!" is always going to be a useful multi-purpose phrase.

At a previous workplace people had started using Smither's "_______'s in sector 7G" to refer to ourselves. Replace the blank with "Low-level drones", "Worker bees", "Chair moisteners", "Brain doners", whatever.

From the odder side of things I was watching something on the Food Network and they were talking about all the hideous and bizarre things people batter fry and pass off as food (batter fried oreos? I don't like them much when they're "raw"). The person I was watching with blurted out "See, I told you they could deep fry my shirt." And naturally I had to respond with, "I didn't say they couldn't; I said you shouldn't."

[BurnMeUp]

Whever i muddle up something and my wife calls me on it i like to use "Confused would we?"