Google Search Mod Orgy!

Great. Now that I’ve got your attention Duck Duck Goose, I thought I just I’d get it off my chest.

You make me crazy, batty, bonkers, goofballs. I’m tired of it. Real tired and I just wanted to vent and maybe help you out a bit.

I’m tired of your gimmick, yes, gimmick of Googling every fucking subject on these boards, regardless of your knowledge of the subject or indeed interest. You say that you ‘have an interest in trivia’ and ‘like looking stuff up’. I propose that your interest is in posting (like many of us) to see yourself post, regardless of the relevance or indeed helpfulness of your Google search. Sometimes we have to accept that there are threads on these boards that we have no part of and vomiting sixteen barely applicable links into the thread isn’t going to get anyone anywhere. A cross search of Duck Duck Goose and Google in the past six months yields 161 threads.

In addition, you are consistently Telling People What They May Or May Not Post and pretentiously assuming that you know the mod’s minds, and recently answering questions directed at Mods presumably in some Mod Apprentice Program wherein your life’s dream of actually running this board exactly to your specifications may be realized. This includes your own personal guide to telling newbies how to be a success on the SDMB, shockingly informing them that they need not have a gimmick to succeed. Here’s a question for you…why do you suppose people call you the Google Queen, Duck Duck? Because you have a large selection of biped stuffed animals that resemble platypus babies? I doubt it. You asked me if I was just trying to be a smartass with my reply to you in that thread, and whether I thought googling every thread title was a gimmick. Here is my answer:

Yes. Yes I do.

But it’s not just newbies that get lessons. Right here we have you admonishing Anahita for telling the TRUTH about her painful experience in pregnancy and labor, because it may SCARE people and thus was counteractive to your particular agenda for that thread.

But really (and I realize this was a while ago), the straw that broke the jarbaby’s back (perhaps because it’s a subject that holds a sore spot in my heart and I’ll admit that I’m sensitive to it) was in this thread with an honest question, no jokes, no frills, no smartassery, by a newbie, whom I can only assume was looking for real answers.

The ONE TIME you could have fucking googled a real, honest and HELPFUL answer in the first three hits, you chose to reply glibly, in what I’ve been informed must be a witty ‘joke’, that in the first month of trying to conceive your chances are fifty/fifty or ‘even’, ‘either she will or she won’t’. In fact that is not true. The chances, as I posted with cites, are 25% and even less depending on your age. And when you were PROVEN wrong by several posters, you didn’t even bother to come back and say you were joking or maybe admit that you should have answered honestly.

Lately I have noticed you have put the rolleyes in heavy rotation, are short tempered, snippy, snarky and, well, to bring out an old third grade insult, bossy.

I am not innocent of anything on these boards, that is for sure, and have been forced by my peers to look at my actions which, I hope has lead to a change in my behavior. Being pitted was a bad time for me, but really, it ended up being something that really helped out with getting a handle on what I’m doing here at the SDMB (since it’s quite obvious to many of us that this ISN’T just a message board, it’s a community, and to some it’s a family and a circle of friends.) Hamadryad brought to light my out of control sex and flirting talk, and made me realize I didn’t have to be that way…BottleBlondeJeanie and a host of others lead to my sabbatical wherein I had to think about how much of my life I was investing in these boards and how little good it was doing me.

Hey, I’ll be honest. It’s very possible I’m the only one on these boards who has a problem with you, it wouldn’t be the first time, that’s for sure. And perhaps it’s a bad time in both of our lives and things are just rubbing me the wrong way. And contrary to what you may believe here, I am not asking for your banning, or telling you to shut up, or asking you to leave or calling you a dicksmack or any of that stuff…I just urge you to look at what you’re doing here, and what you’re looking to get out of it. All I’m saying is, if you want to be known as the Miss Junior Mod 2003, or the Human Search Engine or the School Marm, carry on…but I don’t think that’s what you want at all…is it?

Bite me.

They’re so cute when they’re little.

Are you giggling yet, Hama?

Ooh, somebody doesn’t like being called out, does she?

Is that it, Goose, or are you off googling for a comeback?

MY GOD, WON’T ANYONE THINK OF THE CHILDREN???

Now now…you’ll lose your Junior Mod Camper badge for that, DDG.
Guess Google can’t give you good comebacks, eh?

I have always found DDGs efforts relevant and useful.

Oh my. As much as love carnage, I’m not excited about the prospect of two Dopers I like going at it. Can’t we just skip ahead to the part where everyone makes nice?

Almost 2 million hits for bite me.

“The jerk store called. They are running out of you” was already taken.

Ditto on what Waverly said.

Catfight! Catfight!! Er, why are you all looking at me like that?

slithers off

I dunno, DDG. It seemed to be a well thought out OP about the posters opinion. “Bite Me” dosen’t seem to cut it as a response.

So I’m to take your ‘bite me’ response as indication that you stand by your telling Anahita not to post facts because they may be ‘scary’?

I’m sorry DDG, I tried very hard in my OP not to be overly mean or swear a lot or use my ‘gimmick’ which is tearing people new creative assholes…I wanted you to really hear what I was saying. Seems I may NOT be the only one who is a bit fed up.

Think about it.

Balderdash, sir! Tommyrot!

DDG is the Googlemeister, the Search Engineer Supreme, the glint-eyed relentless ferret of the cite! There are few SDMB joys to compare. Many’s the time I’ve seen some utter rot put forth on the Board, and felt impelled to leap into action, but…

Wait a tick. Whats the noise? Why, it’s DDG, moving up an armored division of solid research, a phalanx of facts and figures to lay waste to ignorance and the Forces of Darkness.

The fact that I am almost invariably in agreement as she grinds a foolish position under the treads of her intelligence in no wise affects my admiration. Well, maybe a little.

As the Amish say, Thou Rocketh, DDG.

elucidator, what???

And what the fuck is wrong with my typing as of late? I seem incapable of including pronouns and modifiers, and continue to miss the errors on proofing. It’s like a bad Indo-Russian accent set to print. Obviously I need to start drinking earlier in the morning.

Harli, huh? What?