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  #1  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:01 PM
Cessandra Cessandra is offline
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5 year old changing a diaper -- creepy, right?

My neighbor was over here tonight with her kids, and her three year old needed a change. She was eating dinner, so she let her five year old daughter change her three year old son's diaper! And she tells me that she does that all the time!

I just think that's creepy. Not something to call the cops about, but creepy nonetheless. What do you think?
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  #2  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:07 PM
AHunter3 AHunter3 is offline
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Do you think it's unreasonably unpleasant duty or overburdening of responsibility for a five year old? I'm not sure I follow you at all here. Most young children are pretty enthusiastic about caring for the newborns in the family -- they get to be the Big Sis or Big Bro and feel responsible and important!

Or do you mean that the baby deserves the attention of someone more likely to know what he/she is doing? I don't think it's a task beyond the skill level of a five year old as long as they've been walked through it and supervised many times before doing it on their own.
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  #3  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:30 PM
AbbySthrnAccent AbbySthrnAccent is offline
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I have a really cute pic of my oldest changing his brother. The oldest was 6 the younger 18 months. He volunteered and did a fine job. I must admit that he never volunteered for poopy duty.
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  #4  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:37 PM
Troy McClure SF Troy McClure SF is offline
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As long as the elder knows what she's doing, I see no problem.
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  #5  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:48 PM
Cessandra Cessandra is offline
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AHunter, it isn't a child caring for a newborn -- she is 5 and he is 3.

I just think a) it's too much responsibility for a 5 year old; and b) she is too old to be changing a boy who is so close to her in age.

My son and daughter are both 4 right now, and I plan for them to stop bathing together when she turns 5 (in March). And I find changing a diaper (since she has to clean him off), to be weirder than bathing together.

Maybe I am putting my own views of intersex relations onto kids who are much too young to react the same way... if that makes sense. It just seems creepy to me.
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  #6  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:50 PM
dangermom dangermom is offline
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I can't see anything wrong with it, as long as she knows what she's doing, and it's not that hard. Mom gets a helping hand, big sister gets to be useful, who loses?

--I'm willing to bet that 5 year olds have been changing their siblings for a very, very long time.
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  #7  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:53 PM
Persephone Persephone is offline
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I've got a five year old daughter & a three year old son, and my daughter has often assisted with diaper changing. In fact, watching and helping to change diapers when my son was a baby actually got my daughter over the hurdles of potty training. We'd been working with her, but seeing her baby brother in diapers, I think, gave her the idea that diapers and such were for "babies," and she was a "big girl" (no, my husband and I did not tell her anything like that...she just saw us changing diapers a lot). A few weeks after her brother was born, she just chucked the pull-up pants and never looked back.
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  #8  
Old 01-31-2003, 11:58 PM
AHunter3 AHunter3 is offline
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I dunno Cessandra. I think kids would be best raised in a casual clothing-optional environment where they'd see people of various ages and both sexes without clothes in a variety of contexts. But you're the mommy and they are your kids.
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  #9  
Old 02-01-2003, 06:07 AM
ratty ratty is offline
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I don't see anything creepy about this at all. As long as the 5-year-old knows what she's doing, what's the big deal? Older brothers and sisters have been helping take care of younger siblings since the dawn of time. I think it's important- it helps a bond develop between the children, and teaches the older ones some responsibility.

I think you may be putting your own intersex views onto this situation. There is absolutely nothing sexual about changing a diaper, or helping Mom take care of Baby Bro. I seriously doubt a five or a three y.o. would interpret this in a sexual way at all. (I doubt most adults would this of this in a sexual way, either.) What's the problem? Are you worried the older kid will start asking questions about why her brother's genitals are different from hers? Personally, I think this would be a good learning experience. Genitalia does not automatically = sex, you know. Why try to teach the kid that naked = dirty, wrong, and bad? I have to agree with AHunter3 on this. My parents were like this- I grew up thinking the naked human body was a horrible ugly thing of which to be ashamed and afraid.

But they're your kids, so do what you feel is best.
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  #10  
Old 02-01-2003, 08:14 AM
norinew norinew is offline
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Quote:
But they're your kids, so do what you feel is best.
Well, ratty, the're not really her kids. If you re-read the OP, she is speaking of neighbors' kids.

As to the OP, I don't see any harm in this womans behavior.
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  #11  
Old 02-01-2003, 12:03 PM
Xavier Xavier is offline
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Not unless she was licking his balls too. I'm jus sayin.
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  #12  
Old 02-01-2003, 12:31 PM
SteveSteve SteveSteve is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Xavier
Not unless she was licking his balls too. I'm jus sayin.
Dude....WTF...really....not what I needed to see....I mean jeeze man...don't do that
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  #13  
Old 02-01-2003, 01:33 PM
Bren_Cameron Bren_Cameron is offline
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Count me in the "not creepy" camp.

I have a six year old daughter and a three year old son. My daughter loves to change his diaper (when he wears one--which is usually only at bedtime, since we're potty training). It makes her feel very grown-up and responsible. It's not a burden to her at all. But then, if she sees me getting ready to wash the bathroom floor she begs me to let her do it. It's work to us, but it's exotic, wonderful, grownup stuff to kids. (And yes, I do let her. It takes an hour for the floor to dry afterwards, but what the heck.)

I also don't see the sexual issue here. But that's probably because you can also count me in the "nothing wrong with your body" camp. While I think my kids do need to understand what appropriate behavior is, I don't want to make them feel that some part of their body is wrong or dirty. Kids in our house are clothing-optional. The three year old is usually naked, and my daughter is usually dressed (being older and more mature) but ocassionally spends an afternoon in her underpants. Which is fine--she's only six, after all. As they get older, that will change--but so will they, and so will their understanding and conception of the world.

Of course, as others have said, in your own family you get to set the rules, and there's nothing wrong with that. We all basically want the same thing for our kids--for them to grow up healthy and happy--and we go about it different ways, and that's cool.
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  #14  
Old 02-01-2003, 06:22 PM
cichlidiot cichlidiot is offline
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I don't find it creepy, and can relate to being a big sister changing diapers. The only time I'd have a problem with this, is when the diaper changer has not volunteered. I think there's a difference between the daughter (or son) wanting to help with the baby, and a lazy parent who can't be bothered. If the focus is on helping out, rather than an enforced responsibility, I think it's an endearing gesture on the child's part.

I remember feeling proud that my mom would trust me to change my younger brothers' diapers on occasion. I was well potty-trained by then (or that's my story anyway), but I think Persephone makes a great point as well.
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  #15  
Old 02-01-2003, 11:07 PM
Badtz Maru Badtz Maru is offline
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Not creepy, as long as there is no licking, as thoughtfully pointed out above. I think it's a bit odd the kid is still wearing diapers at 3, but maybe kids in my family mature faster.
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  #16  
Old 02-01-2003, 11:34 PM
plain_jane plain_jane is offline
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Don't most people wipe down the baby's genitals/bum, even if it's just wet with urine? I don't think it's appropriate for the sister to be wiping her brother's genitals.

If I'm changing a diaper, I wipe, even if it's not a BM. I know a couple of mothers who didn't for just a wet diaper and when they were changing the kid's diaper (or when I did it), it stank badly.
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  #17  
Old 02-01-2003, 11:39 PM
Fionn Fionn is offline
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I don't think it's necessarily beyond a five-year-old's capacity to change a diaper, but it seems like it would be pretty difficult for a five-year-old to change a three-year-old. The idea that creeps me out is a five-year-old changing a diaper, doing a messy job of it, and not cleaning up properly afterward.
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  #18  
Old 02-02-2003, 12:59 AM
Deadly Nightlight Deadly Nightlight is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Badtz Maru
Not creepy, as long as there is no licking, as thoughtfully pointed out above. I think it's a bit odd the kid is still wearing diapers at 3, but maybe kids in my family mature faster.
Agreed- In my own family I have never seen a child older than 2 and half with a diaper on- but alot of my friends families kids are still in diapers at 3- but i guess it depends on the kid- I hate people who force kids that aren't ready to potty train to start.
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  #19  
Old 02-02-2003, 02:34 AM
OpalCat OpalCat is offline
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Fionn: I get the feeling this was a wet diaper, not a dirty diaper.

Dominic had a lot of trouble getting potty trained, and was only really fully trained at about age 4.

I don't think there is anything wrong with the kid changing a wet diaper. A poopie diaper I think would be a bit much (for sanitary reasons) but wet wouldn't faze me. I also don't see a problem with wiping. I don't think that washing is a sexual activity and I seriously doubt that a 5 or 3 year old would think of it that way. Heck, my son used to love to come in and wash my back when I was in the tub, or help me shampoo my hair.
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  #20  
Old 02-02-2003, 05:13 AM
Iteki Iteki is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by plain_jane
I don't think it's appropriate for the sister to be wiping her brother's genitals.
To be perfectly honest, to me, that's creepy right there.
I can't even get my head around the sentiment to be honest.

What constellations of the family would be appropriate if you look at it that way?
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  #21  
Old 02-02-2003, 06:15 AM
Washte Washte is offline
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I don't see this as a problem. When I was raising my sister's kids the eldest (F) quite often changed brother's diaper. He is 2.5 years younger. She used wet-wipes and all. If she saw anything suspicious, she would let me, or Grandma, know. Of course we were never far away - supervising from a distance - and saw everything that was happening. She felt useful, brother got a clean diaper. No issue.
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  #22  
Old 02-02-2003, 09:48 AM
belladonna belladonna is offline
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I don't think it's creepy at all either, but I'm from a family of 6 kids so there's pretty much nothing in the area of child-rearing that I wasn't exposed to as a young child.

Cessandra, do you think you would have been as squicked if it had been a baby sister she was changing? Do you yourself have any younger siblings? Just curious. Lots of only children or youngest children just don't have any experience with the younger sibling dynamic, so things they are unfamiliar with can seem weird.
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  #23  
Old 02-02-2003, 01:20 PM
Skillet38 Skillet38 is offline
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/possibly humorous slight hijack

So my 7 year old daughter says to me (after witnessing several cases of "collateral" damage from her 7 month old brother's pee),


"Dad, when I have kids, I'm only going to have girls".

"Why's that sweetie?"

"They don't have Aimers like boys do"

Man oh man do I cherish her innocence.
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  #24  
Old 02-02-2003, 03:54 PM
chula chula is offline
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The only thing I find creepy is that other people find it creepy. How could you possibly read something sexual into changing a child's diaper? Do you really think a 5 year old could be a pedophile?
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  #25  
Old 02-02-2003, 04:38 PM
Deej Deej is offline
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/another possibly humorous slight hijack

A former boss relating the first time she changed her newborn daughter's diaper in front of her then three year old son:

"Mom! She's nothin' but butts!"

Cracked me up.
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  #26  
Old 02-02-2003, 04:53 PM
whiterabbit whiterabbit is offline
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I was barely eight when my brother was born and was almost immediately taught to change diapers. Wet ones, anyway. If I really want to embarass my brother, all I have to do is point out that I've seen him naked. :biggrin:

I don't see anything wrong with this. The big sister gets to feel useful and BE useful. Little brother gets a clean diaper. I'd do the same thing.
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  #27  
Old 02-02-2003, 04:55 PM
whiterabbit whiterabbit is offline
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Crap, I screwed up a smilie attempt, and it looks STUPID. Never mind.
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  #28  
Old 02-02-2003, 06:54 PM
Cessandra Cessandra is offline
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Opal, it was a dirty diaper. I thought that was implied by him saying he needed a change. Kids don't usually care if their diaper is just wet, at least not in my experience.

And, yes, I have two younger brothers. I never changed any of their diapers. I also never washed them in the bath. There was never any reason that I would have been touching my brother's genitals, and that's what creeps me out.
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  #29  
Old 02-02-2003, 07:47 PM
Cartooniverse Cartooniverse is offline
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Everyone has their own familial threshold of such things. I must admit- my kids are 16 months apart, I don't believe the Man-Cub ever changed or assisted in changing the Fem-Bot. Having said that, I would like to add this.

Chula has bluntly articulated what seems to be the underlying feeling in some of these posts. Not only is it inconcievable to me that any 5 year old would be of a mindset to do anything other than simply clean off Sis and diaper her up, but the idea that one would be skeeved out by the familial assistance of this act is in of itself heartbreaking to me.

This is family, ok? Not a proven and well documented case study of a dysfunctional/dangerous/abusive family, but a baby who needed a change, and her older brother helped her out. Am I supposed to be dragged away in chains because after bathing my daughter, or changing her diaper I used to delight in blowing raspberries against her tummy? Oh god, gasp, horrors of horrors, her belly is INCHES from her privates !!!!!!!!! Just indict me now.

Please. Give me a BREAK. This is BASIC CHILD CARE DELIVERED BY A FAMILY MEMBER. Take a deep breath, stop assuming that every SINGLE act that involves siblings is incest, every SINGLE act that involves a baby and an adult is paedophelia. The world isn't wound like that and frankly as a father of two kids who recieved HUNDREDS AND HUNDREDS of baths at my gentle, loving and sometimes amused hand, those of you who are getting your doidies in a twist need to shut down the knee-jerk reflex and take a few deep breaths.

My kids bodies are their bodies, their privacy is sacrosanct. When they were young, I'd actually make an effort NOT to have them naked in public for all to see, I'd try to find a Men's Room with a Koala Table. But at a friends' house?

Please. Be real.

If you chose to not have your children behave as such, I would absolutely respect that decision- they are your kids, it is your family, therefore YOUR prerogative. This was someone else's family. It's how they do it. Perhaps you can find a way to accept that, and see it as the simple caregiving that it was?

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  #30  
Old 02-02-2003, 08:10 PM
AbbySthrnAccent AbbySthrnAccent is offline
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[b]Cessandra[/] Did you not babysit your younger brothers?

I just cannot fathom what is creepy about caring for family even in intimate situations. (Not sexual, but intimate.)

A few examples to illustrate what I mean:

My friend is due this week with her fifth child. They are a really neat family. The oldest is 11 and she is occasionally left in charge of her younger siblings for short periods of time. (Less than an hour.) She has always been a good helper with her mother and has been taught a little here and a little there and is quite competant and careful about her responsibilities. (I know this because I have zipped over to check on her when her mother once was caught up and unable to get home within the promised hour.) She does do diaper duty if it comes up. How is that different and more creepy than a young girl from outside the family coming in to babysit/diaper?

When my brother was 10 or so he was in a tree retreiving a lost kite for some friends in a school yard. He fell out of the tree and broke both arms into compound fractures. During his hospital stay, he wanted someone family there all the time. When my mom had to work and I didn't have school, I stayed with him. If he needed to urinate I held the little urine bottle for bedridden males because he felt it too embarrassing to have to ask strange nurses. I looked as little as possible, just enough to make sure we didn't leak in his bed. We both found this less creepy than asking a stranger. When he broke his back when he was 24. It was the same, all care from helping to shave, wash his hair, eliminate, was more comforting to him to ask me to than other. I'd like to think I was alot more gentle and attentive too, because we are related and I love him deeply. Creepy? No way. It's part of the normal intimacies of family life, whether that family be a bio family or a modern family with life partners and such.
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  #31  
Old 02-02-2003, 08:29 PM
OpalCat OpalCat is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cessandra
Opal, it was a dirty diaper. I thought that was implied by him saying he needed a change. Kids don't usually care if their diaper is just wet, at least not in my experience.

Uh.... so you don't think wet diapers get changed?? I changed Dominic's diaper whenever it was wet. He DID care, plus he would get a rash. I don't think the OP implied anything other than the diaper was being changed, it didn't say that the kid asked to be changed or what its contents were.

I asked my mom about this today. She is an attorney who represents children in custody cases, abuse, molestation, and other types of things. She said that she didn't see anything wrong with it at all. And she's exposed to not only sick families, but also the laws and viewpoints of a lot of people.
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  #32  
Old 02-02-2003, 08:44 PM
zuma zuma is offline
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I don't find the act of changing a diaper creepy, but I would be a bit concerned about the possibility that the parents are making the 5 yo do their dirty work for them. Changing diapers should be solely the responsibility of the parents, or the hired help, and not be foisted upon an innocent sibling.
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  #33  
Old 02-02-2003, 08:45 PM
Guinastasia Guinastasia is offline
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Put me down as saying it isn't creepy, but I think it would be a bit difficult for a five year old to properly clean up a three year old with a poopy diaper.
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  #34  
Old 02-02-2003, 08:55 PM
Drastic Drastic is offline
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Another in the not-creepy side of the poll. Cartooniverse articulated a fair amount of my blinking "huh?" reaction well, albeit probably a bit too heatedly.
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  #35  
Old 02-02-2003, 09:08 PM
In Conceivable In Conceivable is offline
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You don't think that children should help out in the family zuma?

I don't think that changing a baby's diaper is creepy. It isn't "touching her brother's genitals". It is changing a baby's diaper. There is nothing sexual about changing a baby's diaper.
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  #36  
Old 02-03-2003, 05:19 AM
ratty ratty is offline
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Cartooniverse has perfectly summed up my own feelings. As has AbbySthrnAccent.

There are intimate bonds between family members, chosen or biological. Note that intimate in no way implies sexual. One of the reasons it's possible to be so intimate with family members, I think, is precisely because there's no sexual issue. Come on- you blow a raspberry on your baby's tummy and it's a sweet parent/child moment. You blow a raspberry on a complete stranger's tummy and you're facing sexual assault charges. There is a huge difference.

As Abby pointed out, there are some situations in which I'd feel much more comfortable with a family member than with a stranger. Despite my parents' prudishness in raising me, there were times when push came to shove and I had to assume certain responsibilities. One of these was when my father was in the hospital after a severe heart attack. If he had to pee and my mom wasn't there, I'd help him. Because he did not want to feel so helpless and so exposed in front of strangers. Because I was his daughter, and it was a matter of pride and honor and simple love that I would help him when he needed it. Because no matter how much some people might find it creepy or gross or inappropriate, he was my father, and I would not let him feel abandoned and without dignity among strangers. It was the same for my grandmother when she was dying. I would change her sheets when she lost bowel and bladder control in her sleep, before the nurse got there in the morning. I would clean her up and wipe the drool off her face, because she and I both felt it was better that the people who love her should aid her in her time of need. When I am dying, if I have to linger and lose control of myself, I'll want a loved one by my side to help me through it, not some faceless stranger.

And let me tell you, there is nothing sexual about holding a plastic bottle in a hospital room helping your father urinate. There is nothing sexual about carrying a weak 80-year-old woman to the bathtub to scrub poop off her back. It is hard, and it is heart-breaking, but it is a responsibility you take on yourself because you love your family. Being part of a family, whether chosen or biological is a huge responsibility. Parents and older siblings care for babies and young ones; when the time comes, siblings care for parents and older ones. Anyone who thinks otherwise is quite frankly impossible for me to understand.
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  #37  
Old 02-03-2003, 07:51 AM
The Mermaid The Mermaid is offline
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I have been working in the health care field since I was 19, first as a Nurse's aide, then as an RN since 91. I have seen, cleaned, injected, and bathed untold thousands of bums and not once has there ever been anything remotely sexual about the act. Same goes for helping with urinals, bedpans and inserting or removing catheters, enemas, suppositories and the like.

People have basic human needs that must be accomodated if they are unable to do it for themselves. This applies to all age groups.

That said, my daughter was 5 when her brother was born and she would help change and diaper him on occasion. She welcomed the opportunity cause it made her feel grown up but I think it also reinforced the idea that siblings take care of each other.

I have 6 siblings and from the time we were born we knew that it was our privilege and obligation to help watch after them. If the baby poured a whole bag of flour on the floor, who do you think got in trouble. The baby or the sibling who wasn't watching them?
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  #38  
Old 02-03-2003, 12:50 PM
Cessandra Cessandra is offline
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Opal, of course wet diapers get changed, but it has been my experience that three year olds only complain about poopy diapers. That's just my experience.

Yes, I babysat my brothers. But not until I was 12 years old. At that point my youngest sibling was 8, and long out of diapers.

I just want to reiterate something I said in the OP, since it has been brought up, that I don't think this is something worthy of calling anyone, or even saying anything to the mom. Her kids, her decision. It was just my personal reaction. I still think it's Ew.
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  #39  
Old 02-03-2003, 06:24 PM
Violin D'Ingrate Violin D'Ingrate is offline
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Why would it be "Ew" when the 5 year old sister does it, but not "Ew" when the mother does it? Based on your criteria, it is still someone of another gender wiping the kid's genitals. I am not being snide, I just can't imagine it being anything more or less than a kid helping out with the baby, just like feeding it a bottle. I changed my baby sister's diapers when I was 5, and there was nothing "Ew", other than the poop. What I find "Ew" is the SUGGESTION that that little girl did something wrong by wiping her baby brother's bottom.
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  #40  
Old 02-03-2003, 06:30 PM
OpalCat OpalCat is offline
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Cess: the OP said nothing about complaining, though. [and my son did complain about wet diapers at that age, so it isn't to be assumed]
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  #41  
Old 04-28-2003, 07:25 AM
sugaree sugaree is offline
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Would it be "Ew" if it were a thirteen-year-old sister wiping her brother's rear end? How about a twenty-year-old sister?
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  #42  
Old 04-28-2003, 08:21 AM
shrew shrew is offline
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I'm another who is bothered by the fact that there are people bothered by this. I bathed my own brother LAST YEAR. He's 29, and I'm 26. He was in a bad car accident, had one leg in a cast, one hand was shattered and therefore unusable, he had slipped a disc in his back, and his back and rear end were burnt with road rash. After he left the hospital, he couldn't bathe himself properly. My sister is a nurse, and she mostly bathed him. When she wasn't around, I did it. She showed me how to do it gently and properly, and he and I overcame the awkwardness together.

There is nothing sexual about it. He's my brother; my brother and sister and I are sort of 1/3 of the same person. Washing him was like washing myself.

I also helped my mother bathe a few years back when she had her mastectomy. She was too sore to reach various body parts, so I did it for her.
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  #43  
Old 04-28-2003, 08:52 AM
hyperjes hyperjes is offline
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I really don't see this as a big issue. My youngest brother is 6 years younger than I am. I used to change his diapers all the time. From the day my parents brought him home. I had watched my mom change him and was supervised the first several times. I'm fairly certain that I did a competent job.

As far as sanitary issues are concerned, I was taught to wash my hands and throw away the mess. Why would teaching that be any different from teaching a child to wash their own hands after using the bathroom?

The sexuality of the situation, in my opinion, is null. I knew he was a boy. I wasn't "touching his genitals." I was cleaning him. A five year old who has other notions has bigger issues than diaper changing duty.

The closeness in age shouldn't really be a concern. I don't see it as much different than an adult nurse changing another adult's diaper in a nursing home. And those are two unrelated strangers.

IMHO, if adults didn't spend so much time projecting their own sexual hang-ups onto their children, their children would have fewer sexual hang-up of their own later on.
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  #44  
Old 04-28-2003, 12:23 PM
hedra hedra is offline
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Chiming in on both sides, here.

First, speaking as a childhood sexual abuse survivor, a great deal of my positive mental health about bodies came from bathing with my siblings - well past 5 years old, IIRC. I didn't change diapers much because I didn't really want to. Mom got that duty, and was welcome to it! So, on that side, I'm definitely in the camp of 'please do not use your own preferences to force an absolute line on physical closeness including nudity between sibs, lest it cause them more harm than good.' Without that sense of comfort and safety in my own bathtub (little brother and all), I'd have been really scr*wed for a positive sense of physical self.

On the other hand, your feelings on the matter will probably show no matter what you do, so that will complicate things - they'll be able to tell you think it is icky, and you'll be sending two messages. Might be valuable to tell them out loud that YOU think it is time for them to have separate baths, but it is your sense of privacy that does so, and different people have different feelings on the subject, and that's okay. That way, if your line is substantially lower than theirs, they will know that is okay, and they will know whose concern it is if it ever comes up as a conflict in their own minds. Or just use their own behaviors as a guide? When one of them starts showing privacy-protecting behavior, then perhaps it is time to go to separate baths...

Which brings me to point two. Individuals without any kind of enforced hangups can have different comfort levels for privacy. My younger son is a case in point. He is all of 18 months, and has for MONTHS gestured for me to look the other way when he is pooping. His older brother is 5 1/2, and fascinated by poop. He would love to just look in his brother's diaper at changing time, but I've insisted that it is up to the one who made the poop to decide who gets to look at it (yeah, TMI on parenting, but hey, that's life with kids). To date, every time the older has asked if he can 'peek' it has met with a firm negative head-shake from the younger (he hasn't asked lately - he knows the answer he'll get). My younger son simply finds diaper-time too private. He doesn't mind being changed around other people, he just prefers they not look at him, or check out the contents of his diaper.

This was the kid who kicked the ultrasound wand and fetoscope every time they tried to 'peek' at his heartrate, too. I doubt there was any parental pressure to not let anyone look at him in the womb. Or not that I know of. (he turned his back on picture ultrasounds, too. Bad response to pressure/sound focus at him?)

So, if it seemed not 'ew' in the sexual sense, but 'ew' in the 'hey, that's private business' sense, I can grasp it. Parents have dispensation that goes a bit beyond the sibling level, as far as invasion of privacy goes. I would have no problem having a sibling help me for most things, but for those same things, having a parent do so would be preferable. Not a hangup on the sexual side, but a preference for a particular degree of privacy with particular individuals. I'd adapt pretty fast if need be, and there would be no assumption of sexuality regardless, but I still have a hierarchy of privacy and who is inside which lines.

Basically, though, if the kids do not object, then it isn't an 'ew' factor for me. Each person defines their personal privacy on their own, and we, as parents, enforce respect for those self-determined boundaries. Or at least that's how it works at our house. Helps the introverts if you keep the extroverts at bay... (oh, and the extrovert is the one who likes his privacy)

But I do recommend being up-front about the difference between your preference and other people's preference. I'm betting they'll have friends who do things differently, if not cousins, and it will be a good prep for them to accept different approaches as acceptable if you let them know that your decision is based on your feelings, not some universal law.
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  #45  
Old 04-28-2003, 03:11 PM
Barbarian Barbarian is offline
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Join Date: Oct 2000
I'm 6 and 7 years older than my youngest sibs, and I have cleaned their poopy diapers.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with this, aside from the disgusting fact that someone is stuck cleaning up shit. But as for any sexual connotations creeping someone out: man, you've gotta be very deranged if at any age you're turned on by a baby's poopy diaper.

I was pretty advanced sexually, but no way in hell was changing diapers for my baby brother or sister anything but a gross chore.

[b]Cessandra, plain_jane, Iteki[/i], I'm sorry to tell you that you've got a minority view of something that the overwhelming majority of people around the world think is perfectly normal.
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  #46  
Old 04-29-2003, 09:50 AM
Iteki Iteki is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2001
Perhaps you missunderstood me Barbarian? It creeped me out that she was creeped out. I was not creeped out by the kid changing sibs nappy, but by somone thinking that was inappropriate.
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  #47  
Old 04-29-2003, 10:05 AM
Bad News Baboon Bad News Baboon is offline
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Join Date: May 2001
Re: 5 year old changing a diaper -- creepy, right?

Quote:
Originally posted by Cessandra
And she tells me that she does that all the time!
To me, it's not creepy that a kid helps out with diapers.

However, the above quote reminded me of my old neighbor. She was, bar none, the laziest mom I have ever met. Her kids would change their siblings diapers because she just "didn't like to do it".

IMO, its one thing to help out mom and do grown-up stuff (I remember begging mom to let me do the dishes! ) but it's another if the kid is acting in mom's palce. Kids should be kids! They shouldn't have to clean diapers all the time!
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  #48  
Old 04-29-2003, 10:06 AM
photopat photopat is offline
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Location: chicago illinois, usa
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Put me in the not creepy tally.
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  #49  
Old 04-29-2003, 11:06 AM
Barbarian Barbarian is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Iteki
Perhaps you missunderstood me Barbarian? It creeped me out that she was creeped out. I was not creeped out by the kid changing sibs nappy, but by somone thinking that was inappropriate.
I must have. Further indications of confusion can be demonstrated by my failure to code properly.
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