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  #51  
Old 02-05-2003, 09:21 PM
Scylla Scylla is offline
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Thanks folks! I'm speechless.


(Euty, that Carte Blanche does have a 21% apr attached to it )
  #52  
Old 02-05-2003, 09:37 PM
Moirai Moirai is offline
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Scylla speechless?!? OK guys, now the bullshit is getting deep...

  #53  
Old 02-05-2003, 09:56 PM
Master Wang-Ka Master Wang-Ka is offline
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I'm in awe.

That was great.
  #54  
Old 02-05-2003, 10:02 PM
Sejal_Traurig Sejal_Traurig is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Scylla
(Euty, that Carte Blanche does have a 21% apr attached to it )
Euty, I hear American Express will give you 12% apr on transferred balances...
  #55  
Old 02-05-2003, 10:27 PM
Greywolf73 Greywolf73 is offline
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Oh wow. That was just...wow...

*throws flowers*

Encore! Encore!
  #56  
Old 02-07-2003, 10:30 PM
Badge Badge is offline
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Lordy, Scylla. I'm exhausted from laughing so hard!

Magnificent!
  #57  
Old 02-13-2003, 05:41 PM
cmarie0182 cmarie0182 is offline
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Hey everyone, I'm new here but my friend sent me a link to this thread...I was absolutely dying reading it! And I have to agree, Dave Barry may have some serious competition soon if Scylla ever decides to publish this stuff... :-D
  #58  
Old 02-18-2003, 02:25 PM
singular1 singular1 is offline
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Just to bump this story with my own account of the Dread Zeppelin:
As soon as I read this story and saw the link, I immediately ordered one for Mr. Singular. Fortunately, it was delivered in a timely fashion-right on Valentines Day! So we went down to party store and rented a tank and bought a bunch of balloons to boot. Little did I know I was about to ruin a life!
We brought it home and blew it up, and put it together. We finally figured it out, and sent it puttering around the room. After a while, we realized the dog was missing. We called for him, but no response. We finally found him cringing in the bathtub. Now the bathtub is where he goes when he's scared, like during bad storms or earthquakes or Joan Rivers shows, so we weren't sure what was wrong. We finally figured it out when he slunk around the perimeter of the living room to get to the bedroom, kind of like a living baseboard. He is absolutely terrified of the blimp! And, honest, we really didn't chase him with it, since we know he is about as macho as Michael Jackson. But for some reason, he is very threatened by it, and his life has become a living hell. This morning I has to make him leave the bathroom so I could close the door, and he is so paralysed with fear, he couldn't even jump up on the bed and let Mr. Singulr comfort him-all he culd do was stand beside the bed with his head laying on it. I tried to help him by putting him front legs up on the bed (it must be added that he is a 70# black lab/pot luck blend), and he just stood there with half his body limp on the bed, like a beached seal. He looks like we need to use the tank to pump him back up. He's just moping around, defeated and deflated.
So we might have to get rid of the blimp, which is a shame, because it is pretty fun. It does creep up on you and slowly follow you around, and it seems to want to make a sandwich, since it keeps floating into the kitchen. This morning I had to chase it out of my chair, which is easier than chasing the cat or the dog out every morning. The motor that hangs below the balloon also has 2 little blinking lights that look like eyes, so it's got a cool ET thing happening, too. But if it means my dog has to live in the bathroom, I guess I'm going to have to find it a new home-somewhere without neurotic animals.
Just thought I'd share!
  #59  
Old 02-18-2003, 05:13 PM
Bongmaster Bongmaster is offline
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LOL, funniest thread I have ever read here!
  #60  
Old 02-18-2003, 10:35 PM
Lodrain Lodrain is offline
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[Mr. Burns]

Blimp attack?

[/Mr. Burns]
  #61  
Old 02-18-2003, 11:07 PM
moriah moriah is offline
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The posted Zany Brainy site does not seem to have the Airship Earth anymore. I'm supposing all you dopers have rushed to buy them out in you own nefarious schemes to terrorize your spouse, dog, and self.

Here is where the blimp from hell can now be viewed:
Interactive Toy Airship Earth

Peace.
--------------
Yes, you must publish.
  #62  
Old 02-19-2003, 03:29 PM
Queen Bee Queen Bee is offline
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I'm also a stranger to this board, having also been sent the link by a friend of mine. Scylla -- asbolutely hilarious! I think your story is making the rounds of the WWW!
  #63  
Old 02-20-2003, 12:18 AM
Queen Bee Queen Bee is offline
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oh, and by the way, Singular -- your post also added to the funny factor!!
  #64  
Old 02-20-2003, 09:15 PM
splork splork is offline
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inspired illustration or conspiracy?

This story seems oddly related to a nice illustration in the back of this month's Wired magazine...

http://electricrain.com/greg/pics/skycleaning.jpg
  #65  
Old 02-25-2003, 05:46 PM
nayrmilliwg nayrmilliwg is offline
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What is that gagging noise coming from the bathroom?

So my co-worker starts laughing quite eradically at something he is reading on the internet. "You can not leave that to yourself, send me the link!" I exclaim. So I open up the link and begin to read...
I get to the point where it says...

"At this point it is important to know that my house has central heating"

...and I start to laugh, because I know this is going to be good. I conitinue to read and get to the point where it says...

"The blimp which was up until this moment a fun toy here embarked on a career of evil."

...at which point I laugh harder knowing this is going to be REALLY good. Continue reading and get to...

"the blimp stealthily departed my office"

...at which point I begin to sweat and start making these odd squeaking noises that I didn't realize I could make. I continue reading till...

"it approached the bed"

...my eyes start to water...

"when your sleeping senses suddenly tell you without reason that the forces of evil on converging on you"

...my stomach starts to hurt...

"there is a large levitating sinister presence hovering towards you with menacing intent through the maligant darkness"

...more squeaking, uneasy feeling in my stomach, eyes dripping on my keyboard, and I begin to bump my head into my monitor...

" HOLY SHIT! FIGHT FOR YOUR LIFE OR DIE!!!!"

...all my symptoms hit me at once. I STAND UP, SLIGHTLY DIZZY, HEAD FOR THE BATHROOM, STUMBLE IN, LOCK THE DOOR, FIND THE TOILET. AND VOMIT!!!!!!!!!, oh yes, I said VOMIT, for a good 5 minutes I am sitting, praying to the might porcelain gods. The uneasyness subsizes a bit, I stand up, go to the sink...look at my bloodshot eyes, run back over to the toilet, 2 more minutes of dry heaving. Wash my hand...look at my eyes again....30 more seconds of spitting my saliva out, blow my nose... go outside in front of the office for some fresh air and to take off my shirt. 10 minutes later find my way back into the building, then into my office...sit down in front of my monitor, see the article on my screen (ONLY 2/3rds READ!)...Close that freakin' window, and breathe, breathe breathe, deep breaths, deep breaths, wipe the tears from my eyes....

Twenty minutes later I muster the confidence to finish reading the story, however I had to think of fuzzy animals getting killed by angrier animals, like when hippos eat their young on the Discovery channel, I had to think terriblly sad thoughts like that to finish the article, or I would be dead right now from throwing up my stomach.

Thank you soo much, oh and by the way, my co-worker told my boss about this, and she thought it was very funny too, and she will probably read this thread also. So Scylla, I hope you've had your fun, and I think this will be the last time I come to this site!

Love,
A very sick little Network Administrator (who is currently eating saltine crackers and drinking gatorade).
  #66  
Old 02-25-2003, 06:15 PM
scout1222 scout1222 is offline
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Jesus. Scylla's words just made someone puke! Wow. I am in awe.

[check out the number of views, man! You're a star!]
  #67  
Old 02-25-2003, 06:34 PM
Earl of the CC Earl of the CC is offline
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Before recently registering, I'd been lurking here for 2 years, mainly in the pit. Of all the comedic pit threads I've seen, this is by far the best one. What a work of art.
  #68  
Old 02-25-2003, 08:18 PM
Scylla Scylla is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by scout1222


[check out the number of views, man! You're a star!]


WoW!

I wonder if Ed Zotti's gonna offer me a high paying job, or if he's just going to yell at me for overloading the server.

It could go either way, you know?
  #69  
Old 02-26-2003, 11:18 AM
Chanteuse Chanteuse is offline
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Masterful OP, Scylla, simply masterful!

Oh, and someone please remind me not to read threads like this when I am recovering from a cough, will you? I nearly choked to death!

Hey, maybe I should sue??
  #70  
Old 02-26-2003, 11:48 AM
Girl Next Door Girl Next Door is offline
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Okay, it's like this: I often type "lol" online just to convey when I thought something was amusing, when in fact I haven't actually laughed out loud. It's just shorthand, you know? While I have a great sense of humor, it's hard to make me actually laugh really hard. And I almost never laugh really hard when I'm alone. I mean, why? No one is there to hear it.

I'm sitting here all alone, wiping tears from my face and thinking I'd better get to the bathroom quick because I laughed so hard I gotta pee.

Brilliant stuff, Scylla. I am in awe.
  #71  
Old 02-26-2003, 02:59 PM
visioneer_one visioneer_one is offline
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dammit! Made the mistake of reading this without closing my door. One of my co-workers walked past my office and spotted /me, head down at my desk and twitching...
  #72  
Old 02-26-2003, 06:54 PM
Exgineer Exgineer is offline
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Who did it?

Who was the first person to e-mail a link to this thread to a friend/relative/whatever?

I ask this because that person is responsible for the disemination of this thread across the entire internet (I am, of course assuming that a single person is responsible, which I know is wrong, so shut up and bear with me).

This person is either:

A) A Hero, because he or she presented Scylla's masterful tour-de-force to the world at large, thus ensuring him a book contract and possible movie option revenue.

B) A Goat, because he or she encouraged the entire world to bog down the Reader's servers just to read the thing.

Own up to it. I leave judgment to others more qualified.

The above post in no way reflects a change in attitude towards the OP. I still think it's brilliant.
  #73  
Old 02-26-2003, 09:09 PM
Gr1mjack Gr1mjack is offline
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I followed a link from INA communities, and I must say I'm floored with the prose in which Scylla relates his story.

I read it this morning after bring our network back up, and the manager came in and asked me what we were laughing about. (I came here first to test connectivity) When we couldn't answer due to maniacal laughter, he just walked away mumbling something about "computer nerds and Monty Python".

I had to register just to reply, but it was worth it!

Well done!

GJ
  #74  
Old 02-26-2003, 09:55 PM
Dr_Paprika Dr_Paprika is offline
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Quote:
Jesus. Scylla's words just made someone puke!
I thoroughly enjoyed the story. Gotta get me a blimp. But this can't really be the first time Scylla has induced a little technicoloUr yawning.
  #75  
Old 02-27-2003, 12:10 AM
R. Carver R. Carver is offline
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The BEST story I have read in a VERY long time. Laughed so hard I woke my gal up in the other room!
FWIW, I followed a link from a R/C model airplane forum. It's getting around!
  #76  
Old 02-27-2003, 10:15 AM
ford_prefect42 ford_prefect42 is offline
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Thank the Almighty no one else was in the vicinity when I started laughing. The dBs alone may have triggered a minute earthquake. Excellent OP Scylla.

I followed a link from an MSN Community post... it is getting everywhere. Soon it will reach an extraterrestrial advanced civilization and they will visit Earth, wondering where to get an Interactive Toy Airship Earth.

Relax and have fun!!
  #77  
Old 02-27-2003, 10:35 AM
Whipdancer Whipdancer is offline
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Too funny

This ranks up there with the "Guest Judge for a Chili-Cook-Off" story.

Someone sent me a link to this. I am so glad they did. Bravo! Well done! Good show! Frickin Awesome!

I laughed, I cried. Actually I laughed until I cried. And then I had the giggles for a good couple of hours afterwards.
  #78  
Old 02-27-2003, 10:45 AM
Gyrate Gyrate is online now
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Next on Fox: When Blimps Attack!

  #79  
Old 02-27-2003, 10:48 AM
Gyrate Gyrate is online now
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Good grief -- look at all the single-digit posters! This may bring in more new members than the LOTR thread...
  #80  
Old 02-27-2003, 04:18 PM
AliBaba AliBaba is offline
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Scylla, I'm a long-lurker here, but I think I've posted maybe once or twice in the last couple years. But, needless to say, your Tale of the Satanic Dirigible prompted at the least a thank you from me. Thank you for the mascara now running down my face. Thank you for the coffee and spittle all over my keyboard. And thank you most of all for the double-wide berth my boss now walks around me - when you're howling like a hyena in a legal office, it tends to make people wonder about you.

By the way, if your wife divorces you over the balloon in the face, can I have you?

AliBaba
  #81  
Old 02-27-2003, 04:34 PM
Unauthorized Cinnamon Unauthorized Cinnamon is offline
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I haven't posted here in forever, but I had to add my "Bravo." When I read
Quote:
I left the blimp floating in my office downstairs, my wife came home, and we went to bed, and slept the sleep of the righteous.
I stopped and visited the bathroom, to ward off the pants-wetting I knew I'd be in for otherwise. And I wasn't disappointed. By the time you'd punched the evil blimp, I was convulsing, tears streaming down my face, and laughing so hard I was barely making any noise - I sounded like Muttley from the Hanna Barbera cartoons.

Then I read
Quote:
At about 7 am my wife awoke.
and, knowing what must follow, I really lost it.

Thank you for the biggest laugh I've had in a long time!
  #82  
Old 02-27-2003, 04:35 PM
scout1222 scout1222 is offline
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Get in line, woman!

  #83  
Old 02-27-2003, 08:10 PM
mrs pepe mrs pepe is offline
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ok i had to sign in to say omg that was sooo well written !!!!
i found this link on a site that my hubby and i run in australia
  #84  
Old 02-27-2003, 10:56 PM
adara adara is offline
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Scylla, and everyone who has added a comment to this thread:

You're all hysterical. Thank you for the laughs, it's been a rough week but you completely cracked me up!!!

I just feel badly for your dogs!

A
  #85  
Old 02-27-2003, 11:00 PM
Professor E Professor E is offline
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You need to do two things (in this order):

1) copyright your story ...

2) send it to Stephen King ...
  #86  
Old 02-28-2003, 01:37 AM
trochai trochai is offline
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Scylla,

I just read this post and I must say that, although it's been said many a time before on here, fantastic job, nearly wet m'self laughing.

And for those keeping track of the source link for this post:

I heard of it from a friend who is a cast leader of the Rocky Horror Picture Show cast I used to be on in Minneapolis MN
  #87  
Old 02-28-2003, 01:42 AM
Rock Lobster Rock Lobster is offline
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yet another round of applause...you're responsible for me waking the neighbours as well as scaring the HELL outta my fish....

I just wish I had someone to terrorize with one of those

-k
  #88  
Old 02-28-2003, 01:47 AM
matt_mcl matt_mcl is offline
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BTW, this thread was at 31 000 views exactly when I clicked on it.
  #89  
Old 02-28-2003, 03:02 AM
Short-N-Sassy Short-N-Sassy is offline
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That was a great story! I had such a good time reading it...it was good to laugh out loud.


BTW....I found this thread and board through a link posted by a fellow gamer on our gaming clan's board.

I will probably be a lurker for a while....there is a lot of activity here and I want to find out more of what it's all about.
  #90  
Old 02-28-2003, 06:15 AM
DarkJudicator DarkJudicator is offline
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The Great Circle:

DarkJudicator joins the SDMB.

DJ then joins the LiveJournal world at the urgings of a few of his SDMB buddies.

DJ then sees a link to this hysterical thread on another messageboard.

DJ sees a link on the last page of said thread, and where does it lead? To this hilarious little story.

'tis a small world. I think the Internet Infidels can probably take credit for a reasonable chunk of that extra traffic this thread's generating.
  #91  
Old 02-28-2003, 06:19 AM
DarkJudicator DarkJudicator is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJudicator
DJ then sees a link to this hysterical thread on another messageboard.
... should of course read "... sees a link on Livejournal that leads to this hysterical thread ..."

Correction solely for the sake of continuity and narrative.
  #92  
Old 02-28-2003, 06:30 AM
Gyrate Gyrate is online now
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It could have been worse:

[The Naked Gun]

Drebin: It's the same old story. Boy finds girl, boy loses girl, girl finds boy, boy forgets girl, boy remembers girl, girls dies in a tragic blimp accident over the Orange Bowl on New Year's Day.

Jane: Goodyear?

Drebin: No...the worst...

[/The Naked Gun]

  #93  
Old 02-28-2003, 03:58 PM
Azael Azael is offline
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Check it out.

Scylla's meme is spreading.
  #94  
Old 02-28-2003, 04:11 PM
montana cricket montana cricket is offline
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I have to say that when I first spotted this, I emailed the link to hubby (Echo23tc) at work. He emailed me back that I was to no longer send those kinds of links to his work... that they were too funny and made everyone look at him funny (they look at him funny anyway)....But he's already SDMB reader so...I couldn't have been the one to spread it.

Great Job Scylla!
  #95  
Old 02-28-2003, 08:05 PM
feath feath is offline
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I come from an online writing site. It's been posted there, so there are more people coming!

Scylla, thanks! I think I broke a rib, but thanks!
  #96  
Old 02-28-2003, 09:06 PM
UKBankerBoy UKBankerBoy is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by NoClueBoy
Wheeee!
Spindry?

UKBB
  #97  
Old 02-28-2003, 11:08 PM
HelenWheels HelenWheels is offline
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YOMANK!

You owe me a new keyboard.

I can't remember the last time I posted here, but I innocently clicked a link posted by a friend.

I read it this morning in my cube, and practiced Lamaze laughing (where you just blow instead of letting go with the belly laugh). Well, that worked for all of about 45 seconds, and when it did finally go, I laughed so hard my sides ached and I couldn't see for the tears running down my face.

Thank you, Scylla, for this wonderful slice of your life.
  #98  
Old 02-28-2003, 11:47 PM
sgdought sgdought is offline
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Great Thread. I found the link on a MCSE certification site I frequent. Excellent story. I haven't laughed like that in a while. I sent the link to a coworker in the hopes that he will throughly embarass himself with gales of laughter. Bravo!!!!!
  #99  
Old 03-01-2003, 02:50 AM
Shana Shana is offline
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Scylla, that was brilliant. Just brilliant.
  #100  
Old 03-01-2003, 07:09 AM
Tristan Tristan is offline
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It just popped up over at www.clubsi.com in their off topic forum.

Hehhehehe.....
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