How hard can it possibly be to drive through a tunnel?

[Isosleepy]

This is Pittsburgh. To get anywhere, you have to drive through a tunnel. It ain't that fucking hard. You're all Burghers (nobody here seems to want to move anywhere else - Lord knows why) so by know you should know: THERE AIN'T NO FUCKING TUNNEL-MONSTER WAITING TO EAT YOU OR THE PIECE OF CRAP YOU'RE DRIVING! It's just a tunnel! A Goddamn hole in a fucking mountain is all! Are you scared of the dark? Does the fact that your radio stops playing the greatest classic rock hits of 1976 freak you out?WHAT? WHAT THE HELL COULD IT POSSIBLY BE? Why the fuck do I have to sit here, and wait for your pierogie-derived ass to make it through what apparently to you is the scariest part of your day? GET YOUR FOOT OF YOUR GODDAMN BRAKE AND GO! IT JUST A TUNNEL! Fuckwits.

[Duck Duck Goose]

6.5 on the rant, well-constructed and obviously from the heart, but you lost points for poor exposition of backstory. People stop at the tunnel entrance? Or they just slow down, or what?

[Gorgon Heap]

Eh, 6.4. He misspelled pierogi. Not good for a Pennsyltuckian.

[HideoHo]

What is truely horrible is that I saw the title of the thread and assumed that if it wasn't about Pittsburgh, then he had no right to complain. It's quite amazing that you can cruise along at 70 MPH right until you get close to a tunnle, then traffic slows to 40 or less. I'm not sure why tunnels scare normal Pittsburghers, unless they are afraid that the road just won't be at the other side when they get through, which is entirely possible with PennDot.

[sugaree]

No, the people who are stopping are not normal Pittsburghers at all (normal Pittsburghers. There's a concept to mull over).

They are visiting from Philly. All of them. That's the problem.

Damn flatlanders.

[flyboy]

Same thing happens with the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel in Norfolk. I thought it was just a Virginia thing. Now I know it happens elsewhere, although I don't think that's a good thing.

[blainer]

This "Scary Tunnel" phenomenon also occurs at the tunnel in the middle of the Bay Bridge connecting San Francisco and Oakland.

[blowero]

Wow, you have bad drivers in your city too?

[CrazyCatLady]

Well, in defense of those who slow down, it is harder to see right when you enter a tunnel. If I can't see the car in front of me, I'm slowing down until I can. Just a little, but that can lead to big slowdowns further back. Cecil did a column once on why heavy traffic moves slowly, even when there's nothing obvious to slow it down. I'd say the same principles are at work here.

[Hauky]

Well, when you're 3 feet from a wall, it seems like you're going a lot faster than you really are.

Of course, I like that, but it might explain some of these other weirdos. Maybe.

[Max Carnage]

Contestant: I'll take "Famous Last Words" for $400, Alex.

Alex: And the answer is "How hard can it possibly be to drive through a tunnel? "

BUZZ!

Contestant: Who is Lady Di?

[CrazyCatLady]

Max, that's just sick. Hilarious, but sick.

[ENugent]

Hey, my father's old advisor once drove up onto a median and into a wall because he couldn't decide which bore of the Caldecott tunnel to drive through.

You're twisted, Max. I like that in a man.

[CRorex]

Tunnels are scary...

Which is why I only drive into one blindfolded, having sex with 3 circus vertically challenged people, 1 spider monkey while on vicodan.

It makes that big, gaping mouth of doom that much easier to take.

Unfortunatly it makes driving slightly more difficult.

[Profane]

Originally posted by flyboy88
Same thing happens with the Hampton Roads Bridge Tunnel in Norfolk. I thought it was just a Virginia thing. Now I know it happens elsewhere, although I don't think that's a good thing.

Summer is even worse, when 10,000 people from Ohio* are trying to go through it as well. There are multiple signs that say "MAINTAIN 55MPH" but no one gets it.



*Why does everyone in Ohio make a beeline for Virginia Beach starting on Memorial day? There must be someplace better to vacation between here and there.

[Avarie537]

Originally posted by CrazyCatLady
Well, in defense of those who slow down, it is harder to see right when you enter a tunnel. If I can't see the car in front of me, I'm slowing down until I can. Just a little, <snip>

I am not familiar with driving through tunnels. We have none here in Indiana, and the only time I can remember driving through one was in West Virginia on I-70. That being said ...


Um, turn your lights on and it's easier to see? (I think...)

[UncleBeer]

Cecil did a column once on why heavy traffic moves slowly, even when there's nothing obvious to slow it down. I'd say the same principles are at work here.

Judge for yourself:
http://www.straightdope.com/classics/a1_028b.html

[friedo]

Originally posted by Avarie537
Um, turn your lights on and it's easier to see? (I think...)

The lights aren't the problem. It's that if you enter a tunnel during the daytime, the sudden change from daylight to tunnel-light makes it necessary for your eyes to readjust. That takes a few seconds, during which it is difficult to see.

[El_Kabong]

Last time I went through there, It took me 1 1/2 hours to get from the Squirrel Hill tunnels to the Fort Pitt tubes. On a Saturday. There was a football game, and only one lane was open on the Parkway westbound through town.

Anyway, of course people are scared. After all , there's a Pittsburgh on the other side of the tunnel. Unless you're leaving, in which case there's a rural Pennsylvania on the other side of the tunnel.

Hey, I'm originally from there, I can say what I want.

[Payton's Servant]

Because the walls are closing in!!!!!!

[CRorex]

Payton: That's why you bribe the farker at the control panel...

[matt_mcl]

Driving through a tunnel is very difficult. First you have to be a bus driver, then they hire you based on seniority. There is an intensive training course and you must be fluent in French and reasonable in English. There's also the suicides to deal with, and some drivers get reassigned to the lightly-trafficked blue line after -

what? oh, sorry.

[TheLoadedDog]

So ahh.... don't you guys have lights in your tunnels? It's pretty unneccesary to turn your headlights on in Sydney tunnels. Most people don't. Adjusting one's eyes to "the dark" isn't a factor.

Now, Sydney drivers aren't the brightest of folks as a rule, but they seem to be equally incompetent in our out of tunnels. I drive through a 4km tunnel on the way to work, and if anything, people drive too fast in it. Sure, there is the irritating white-knuckled granny ignoring the 80km/h limit, and driving instead at 55km/h in the fast lane, but most people tend to play chicken with the speed cameras and hefty fines by winding it up to about 8 - 10km/h over the limit. Usually, I'll do about 5 clicks over the limit, and even then it's not uncommon for some bozo to be right on my tail, flashing his lights.

[Esprix]

Originally posted by sugaree

They are visiting from Philly. All of them. That's the problem.

Damn flatlanders.

Hey! Some of us have no problems with tunnels. Why, I can even drive uphill without slowing down!

Esprix

[matt_mcl]

Yes, Esprix, we all know what you can do.

[Scylla]

I'm a scaredy tunnel driver.

There I am in the bright sunlight, driving along when all of a sudden it's pitch black and I can't see shit till my eyes adjust.

Plus, everybody knows you have to hold your breath the whole way through the tunnel are the carbon dioxide will asphyxiate you and you'll die.

[koeeoaddi]

I live near Seattle and I'm convinced that the earthquake will hit when I'm either right in the middle of the tunnel or at the apex of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. Tunnels and bridges are just plain evil.

[friedo]

Originally posted by Scylla
Plus, everybody knows you have to hold your breath the whole way through the tunnel are the carbon dioxide will asphyxiate you and you'll die.

Well, all the more reason to step on the fuckin' gas, old chum.

[Scylla]

Duh. But you have to slow down before you get to the tunnel so you have time to hyperventilate.


(Y'know my Dad told me about this when I was a kid, and I've never gotten over it.)

[friedo]

Heheh, your dad sounds cool.

[Cervaise]

We have a couple of major tunnels on Interstate 90 right here in Seattle. Nobody slows down for them. We all fly through them at speed, even accelerating westbound because we lost some velocity going up the ramp off the Lake Washington floating bridge.

Must be Pittsburgh.

[Miller]

Hey, be fair: you never know if that's a real tunnel, or just a painting on the side of the mountain.

[CherryBomb]

I think that people, being faced with a tunnel or not, just tend to drop about 75 IQ points when they get behind the wheel.

We've got plenty of tunnels here in Colorado, and drivers are just as stupid in them as when they're on a flat piece of road.

[Jdeforrest]

Originally posted by sugaree
No, the people who are stopping are not normal Pittsburghers at all (normal Pittsburghers. There's a concept to mull over).

They are visiting from Philly. All of them. That's the problem.

Damn flatlanders.

We have a couple tunnels not too far from Philly and we seem to do fine with them. Must be the people from Ohio.

[Weirddave]

It's all of the DC people in the Baltimore Harbor tunnel. Grrrrr! They should be required by law to tak the Key Bridge. Hopefully they'll blow off.

[bernse]

Originally posted by Isosleepy
It's just a tunnel! A Goddamn hole in a fucking mountain is all

Pittsburgh has mountains? Really? I had no idea.

[Shade]

WAG: People are scared of hitting the walls?

[Klaatu]

We had a couple of tunnels down south of Houston where I grew up. (Washburn and Baytown) I probably went through the Baytown tunnel hundreds of times.

The Tunnel was a big deal during drivers ed at my old high school. (LaPorte) It was a mysterious thing to drive through supposedly. As has been said, the transition into the tunnel is the thing. It looks like it is dark as hell until you enter.

Driving through is no prob, but it is a bit disconcerting to see a leak repair crew and water dripping from the top.

[Coldfire]

The solution.

That's the Schiphol-tunnel, leading the A4 highway between The Hague and Amsterdam underneath the taxiways of Schiphol airport. The road with the yellow lines on it is the taxiway: look underneath it. You'll see a kind of canopy over the highway. The panels in the canopy are positioned so that when you're driving underneath, the light intensity gradually becomes less as you enter the tunnel. Works like a charm: no need to adjust your eyes, as it's done gradually over 2 or 3 seconds when you're still technically outside the tunnel. Traffic doesn't slow down there at all, and I've often wondered why that type of canopy seems to be so rare.

[Ender_Will]

At a guess, the canopy is more expensive than people are willing to pay for.

Now, I don't know if I have super-human optically abilities (though I doubt it, since the DMV has decided I need specs to drive), but going from even bright sun to shade or tunnel, my eyes adjust in about as long as it takes to blink. Yeah, there's a moment before I could read legal fine print, but good Lord, a car is a big fucking thing, and many off them have lights on the back. It's not exactly incon-fucking-spicuous. People are just idiots, the majority of whom shouldn't be allowed to drive on a well-lit straight road, asking them to drive through a mountain? HA! May as well ask the IRS to let you slide because you were way to shitfaced to get your taxes together.

[Koffing]

I knew, without even opening the thread, that the OP was talking about Pittsburgh, and it's wonderful "slowing down before the tunnel" phenomenon. It's not visiting Ohioans or Philadelphians doing the slowing down; it's native Pittsburghers, people who have been here the majority of their lives.

I don't have a cite, but I've been told that there was once a sign before the Squirrel Hill Tunnels telling drivers to slow down before entering the tunnel. It could be that some people who learn to drive in Pittsburgh are taught to slow down before tunnels because of the legacy of that damned sign.

[Doctor Goo Fee]

Right... like the Dutch drivers wouldn't go through there at 150km anyway... even if there were no lights whatsoever.

[amarinth]

Originally posted by koeeoaddi
I live near Seattle and I'm convinced that the earthquake will hit when I'm either right in the middle of the tunnel or at the apex of the Tacoma Narrows Bridge. Tunnels and bridges are just plain evil.

Don't be silly.

The big one will hit while you're on the viaduct, and your last sight will be the it crumbling down from the force of the earthquake while a wall of water reaches your car due to the sound tsunami-ing. Which one does the final damage, you'll never know.


But yes, slowing down for tunnels is weird, it must just be Pittsburgh.

[Eats_Crayons]

Originally posted by Shade
WAG: People are scared of hitting the walls?

Yeah, it's kinda got that "trying to blow up the Death Star" feel to it...

[Morbo]

Originally posted by blainer
This "Scary Tunnel" phenomenon also occurs at the tunnel in the middle of the Bay Bridge connecting San Francisco and Oakland.

That's b/c half of the drivers are clueless tourists. A tunnel! Pretty! Drives me crazy.

[sugaree]

Originally posted by bernse
Pittsburgh has mountains? Really? I had no idea.

Mainly steep-assed hills, to be technical. Most everything's on a slant.

[lezlers]

Originally posted by blainer
This "Scary Tunnel" phenomenon also occurs at the tunnel in the middle of the Bay Bridge connecting San Francisco and Oakland.

Hell yeah. I drive the bridge at about 7:00 a.m. so traffics not that bad yet but I still never fail to see brakelights and have to slow from 70ish to 40ish at the tunnel. Drives me up the wall. And it can't be a light thing, because the damn things lit. Funny thing though, the tunnel after the Golden Gate Bridge northbound isn't lit, but I've never had to slow down for that one.

[koeeoaddi]

Originally posted by amarinth
Don't be silly.

The big one will hit while you're on the viaduct, and your last sight will be the it crumbling down from the force of the earthquake while a wall of water reaches your car due to the sound tsunami-ing. Which one does the final damage, you'll never know.

I've thought that too and drive accordingly - like the Nazgul are right behind me. I suspect though, that when the thing really hits, I'll be in my kitchen sipping coffee and won't even have time to see the mountain overtake the house.

[catsix]

Koffing said:
I don't have a cite, but I've been told that there was once a sign before the Squirrel Hill Tunnels telling drivers to slow down before entering the tunnel.

On Saturday, when I was through that area last, the sign posted said 'Maintain Speed Through Tunnel'.

bernse said:
Pittsburgh has mountains? Really? I had no idea.

We love our hills that go straight up and straight down and surround our city. They confuse the hell out of any Ohioans who find their way to the 'burgh. Us Yinzers also love our bridges, and the fact that all 200-odd of them are yellow. When out of towners ask for directions we like to say 'take da yella brich an go up da hill', so as to really confuse them. Sometimes we send them on long detours to Eessahiya Stree and then wonder why they can't figure out what the hell we're saying.

If you wish to enter or leave Pittsburgh, you will either go over a gigantic steep fucking hill with streets poorly made of uneven brick or through a tunnel. Just for fun, we threw in bridges immediately following those hills and tunnels. Oh yeah, and because Yinzers are really fuckin sadistic bastards, during the last two summers we've closed the most major artery for leaving the city - the Fort Pitt Bridge and Tunnel. Take that West End detour around rush hour, it's almost like a walking tour of the city except slower.

And next week on 'As the Yinzers Drive': Potholes. Can they be repaired? Also, tune in for a special edition of our new reality TV show, 'What Do You Mean Every Street in Oakland is A One Way Going in The Same Direction?' Don't miss the trailer for Pittsburgh's new musical 'Look Left For Buses' now showing on Fifth Avenue.

[Coldfire]

Originally posted by Doctor Goo Fee
Right... like the Dutch drivers wouldn't go through there at 150km anyway... even if there were no lights whatsoever.

Trust me, you don't want to pass that tunnel with 150 km/h! Local speed limit is 100 km/h, and it's filled to the brim with speed cameras. I've gotten numerous tickets in it over the years (mostly of the "103 km/h" variety), but I know people who temporarily lost their licenses for zooming through it with 160 km/h at night. Just a heads-up should you ever visit.