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  #1  
Old 04-25-2003, 11:52 PM
LanceUSMC LanceUSMC is offline
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Help...My Wife Put a Curse On Me

I just found out my wife (soon to be ex) sent money to Mexico to a witch doctor to put a curse on me. Can I use this in the divorce proceedings? If so, how can it help me?
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  #2  
Old 04-26-2003, 12:00 AM
LolaCocaCola LolaCocaCola is offline
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I don't know if it can help you in the divorce proceedings, but it will help you get on Springer.
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  #3  
Old 04-26-2003, 12:07 AM
FranticMad FranticMad is offline
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Welcome to the club.
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Old 04-26-2003, 12:16 AM
cgrayce cgrayce is offline
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It can help you if it helps kill the emotional attachment you have to the marriage, and to the woman. The sooner you can regard the marriage unemotionally, as just a business deal gone bad, the better you will do in the divorce. If you have issues to contest (custody, support) then any emotional attachment will make you much easier to manipulate. If you're a jarhead, as your login suggests, it's probably similar to the cool focus on the job to be done which you need to survive in combat.
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  #5  
Old 04-26-2003, 12:21 AM
LanceUSMC LanceUSMC is offline
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I MEAN...she really put a curse on me.
I found her e-mails to an old friend of hers from here who is a real witch doctor and is about to do some curse on me. I am not saying 'she put a curse on me' as she hurts me. I want the damn divorce, and this only helps! If only it was the good kind of witch...has to be the damn wicked one.
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  #6  
Old 04-26-2003, 12:43 AM
astro astro is online now
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Bigger, clearer much more disturbing pic of the duck...umm.. well you know.

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal...3128a0_F1.html
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  #7  
Old 04-26-2003, 12:50 AM
FranticMad FranticMad is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by LanceUSMC
I MEAN...she really put a curse on me.
Um, I think you just need a lawyer. I really doubt that this "curse" thing will help you get what you want. She's nuts; are you sure you want to play in her ballpark?
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Old 04-26-2003, 12:56 AM
ultrafilter ultrafilter is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by astro
Bigger, clearer much more disturbing pic of the duck...umm.. well you know.

http://www.nature.com/nature/journal...3128a0_F1.html
Boy, of all the threads you could've misposted that to....

Sorry about your difficulties, Lance. No advice, but I wish you the best.
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  #9  
Old 04-26-2003, 01:51 AM
Joe Random Joe Random is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by LanceUSMC
a real witch doctor
Isn't that some type of oxymoron?
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  #10  
Old 04-26-2003, 02:03 AM
LadyMack LadyMack is offline
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An Ex's Ex (stay with me, here), took some of his clothes to some kind of 'church', she said...and had a combination Prayer/Spell thingie done.

It must have worked. Ten very long years later, I sent him back to her, with my blessing. She still has him.

Thank God.
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  #11  
Old 04-26-2003, 02:25 AM
Aankh Aankh is offline
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dunno about it helping your divorce, but it will help you meet Jerry Springer.
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  #12  
Old 04-26-2003, 02:28 AM
Aankh Aankh is offline
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oh dang. LolaCocaCola beat me to it.

"humorous" remarks aside, hope things work out, LanceUSMC.
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  #13  
Old 04-26-2003, 02:35 AM
Evil Captor Evil Captor is offline
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All wives put a curse on their husbands. It's called "monogamy."
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  #14  
Old 04-26-2003, 06:39 AM
Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Evil Captor
All wives put a curse on their husbands. It's called "monogamy."
Monogamy... isn't that the stuff they used to build desks out of?
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  #15  
Old 04-26-2003, 08:52 AM
racer72 racer72 is offline
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Here ya go, a way to get your revenge.
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  #16  
Old 04-26-2003, 09:12 AM
AskNott AskNott is offline
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It surely is evidence that your soon-to-ex does foolish things with money. If you continue to take it seriously, and it worries you, I offer you a service. Just send me an equal or larger amount of money, and I'll be happy to send a steady stream of bent energy to your damn fool wife, at least until the divorce. I'll even think kindly of you while I spend the money. Such a deal!

Oo ee oo ah ah ting tang walla walla bing bang!
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  #17  
Old 04-26-2003, 09:26 AM
UncleBill UncleBill is offline
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Print out the e-mails.

File them, give a copy of them them to any lawyer you may get.
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  #18  
Old 04-26-2003, 11:11 AM
mipiace mipiace is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by racer72
Here ya go, a way to get your revenge.
Eww! Are those real teeth? YIKES!

Put a chicken foot under her pillow and tell her you've set up your own curse to send back any bad vibe she sends your way. If she's really that superstitious it will freak her out.

And yeah, take it to a lawyer. If you have kids, this could help your custody situation a lot.
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  #19  
Old 04-26-2003, 03:01 PM
Crystal Task Crystal Task is offline
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yea, people might think she's crazy.
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  #20  
Old 04-26-2003, 03:15 PM
doug mclure doug mclure is offline
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How does a duck use a thing like that???
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  #21  
Old 04-26-2003, 07:05 PM
vl_mungo vl_mungo is offline
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Doesn't sound as though your wife needs any help cursing you.
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  #22  
Old 04-26-2003, 08:44 PM
Ranchoth Ranchoth is offline
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Well, when you're dealing with curses, massive metaspiritual escalation is really the only sure way to go.

Therefore, I would recommend creating a Zombie or a Golem to avenge you. And as a side benefit, after your soulless minion is done doing your dirty work, you can make it do scut work around the house, for you...if it doesn't go berserk and start eating people, of course. But hey, omelets and broken eggs.


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  #23  
Old 04-26-2003, 09:00 PM
Dragonblink Dragonblink is offline
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Terry Pratchett once said, with amazing accuracy, that most magic is headology. One way to counter the curse is to utterly disbelieve it. Whatever happens, happens, and the curse has no influence over your life.

If you can't get yourself to totally disbelieve, burn some pine needles or pine incense. That'll clean the curse's effects from you.

-- High Priestess Dragonblink, Coven of the Quicksilver Web
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  #24  
Old 04-26-2003, 09:02 PM
Dragonblink Dragonblink is offline
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... backing up and reading the OP again, I realize I answered something the OP didn't ask. Heh. I get so many requests for help with curses or supposed curses my brain's on a single track.

I would advise against bringing up the curse in court, since the last thing we need is more legal precedents against Santeria and witchcraft and such. However, her actions may help you indirectly -- it is said, "Karma's a bitch."
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  #25  
Old 04-26-2003, 10:00 PM
LanceUSMC LanceUSMC is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by vl_mungo
Doesn't sound as though your wife needs any help cursing you.
What does this mean?

To all, thank you for your advice. The biggest thing I was wondering is if I could use this in court. Last night I wrote this in a hurry as soon as I saw what she was talking to this guy about. It was kind of spur of the moment with little time to think.

As mentioned, can I use this to prove she is bad with me. Previously we were seperated for a year and tried to make it work recently, but it didn't. I take care of her and money is not an issue really.

As far as my son goes, can this help me get custody? Or would this fall under freedom of religion (even though she claims to be a devout Catholic and attends Mass weekly)?

What makes this even more weird is she shows no negativity to me. She smiles to my face. I did nothing wrong to her, never really treating her bad (no abuse, cheating, etc). Either way, in a sick way, I find it kind of funny.

When I am sitting around with other divorcees years from now, I think I will have the best ex-spouse story.
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  #26  
Old 04-26-2003, 11:14 PM
Salieri2 Salieri2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by LanceUSMC
...
When I am sitting around with other divorcees years from now, I think I will have the best ex-spouse story.
Not if that duck has an ex-wife.
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  #27  
Old 04-27-2003, 06:12 AM
DreadCthulhu DreadCthulhu is offline
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Just tell her fellow church goers that she has been messing around with "voodoo" witchdoctor type stuff. That should get back at her. Or if you want, tell her that she is now on My badside, and I am far more powerful than any puny witchdoctor.
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  #28  
Old 04-27-2003, 07:18 AM
Winston Bongo Winston Bongo is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Salieri2
Not if that duck has an ex-wife.
BWAHAHAHA! Salieri2, that's got to be my favorite post ever. I am so damn jealous of you!

And I'm not just trying to make you feel better because that snot-nose Mozart2 gets all the compliments.
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  #29  
Old 04-27-2003, 08:58 AM
Dogface Dogface is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by FranticMad
Um, I think you just need a lawyer. I really doubt that this "curse" thing will help you get what you want. She's nuts; are you sure you want to play in her ballpark?
Actually, using this as evidence that "she's nuts" might help.
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  #30  
Old 04-27-2003, 09:00 PM
slipster slipster is offline
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Ask yourself if it might influence a judge making a custody decision if he is presented with documented evidence that one of the parents is more-or-less loony, and is, besides, actively trying to cause physical injury to the other.

Yeah: that just might influence a judge.
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  #31  
Old 04-27-2003, 09:09 PM
slipster slipster is offline
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As a generality, judges are supposed to give great respect to freedom of religion. It is still relevant, however, if a person is nuts, whether that manifests itself in terms of religious belief or otherwise.

When I was a law student I gave pro bono assistance to a party in a divorce whose spouse was taking their child to a faith healer. My supervisor at the nonprofit organization where I worked told me that we could not, as a practical matter, use this as people are entitled to their religious opinions. I suspect he was right.

Another time I had a client who wanted to tell the judge about how he thought his wife was loony and shouldn't get primary custody because she was a Mormon. I tried, but I don't know if I was ever able to convince him that this would not work, regardless of what an individual judge might privately feel about the Church of Latter-Day Saints.

Years later I had a case where the client's spouse believed in faith healers and was convinced that their daughter did not need to see a doctor anymore because she had been cured, despite many obvious signs that she was still seriously afflicted. Then I did bring up his religious beliefs in the case, as his religious convictions were reflecting badly on his soundness of judgment as a parent.

As for your case, ask yourself if it might influence a judge making a custody decision if he is presented with documented evidence that one of the parents is more-or-less loony, and is, besides, actively trying to cause physical injury to the other by magic.

Yeah: that just might influence a judge. By all means discuss it with your lawyer if you are not proceeding pro se.
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  #32  
Old 04-28-2003, 12:50 AM
Salieri2 Salieri2 is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Winston Bongo
BWAHAHAHA! Salieri2, that's got to be my favorite post ever. I am so damn jealous of you!

And I'm not just trying to make you feel better because that snot-nose Mozart2 gets all the compliments.
He is a little pissant, ain't he? Not to worry. Watch for me on Behind The Music, my sales'll skyrocket!!
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  #33  
Old 04-28-2003, 01:07 AM
LanceUSMC LanceUSMC is offline
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here is part of one of the curses for all of you:

1 - forra un plato con papel aluminio.
2 - echa miel en el plato
3 -esporvorea canela sobre el plato
Y PON LOS PETALOS DE LA FLOR SOBRE EL PLATO QUE QUEDEN PEGADOS EN LA MIEL.
4 -pon la foto boca arriba
5 -pon la vela o veladora sobre la foto
6 -untale miel a la vela y esporvorea canela
7 -antes de la miel y la canela escribe el nombre de el en la vela con el
lapiz de madera.
8 -prendela
y resa

ESPIRITU CUERPO Y ALMA DE FULANO..................
VEN POR QUE YO TE LLAMO
VEN POR QUE YO TE DOMINO
VEN POR QUE YO TE SUGESTIONO
TRANQUILIDADS NO HAS DE TENER
HASTA QUE VENGAS RENDIDO Y HUMILLADO A MIS PIES
ASI COMO TE ATRAVIESO ESTE ALFILER A LA MITAD DE ESTA VELA
ASI QUIERO QUE SE ATRVIESE MI PENSAMIENTO EN LA MITAD DE TU CORAZON
PARA QUE OLVIDES A LA MUJER QUE TENGAS
Y VENGAS QUE YO TE LLAMO
(SE REPITE TRES VECES)
ANGEL DE SU DIA, ANGEL DEL DIA DE HOY ANGEL DE LA GUARDA DE
FULANO............
DOBLEGA EL CORAZON DE FULANO
PARA QUE OLVIDE A LA MUJER QUE TENGA Y VENGA RENDIDO
DE AMOR HASTA MIS PIES,.

ANTES DE RESAR ATRAVIESA UN ALFILER EN LA MITAD DE LA VELA.
Y TRATA DE RESAR ESTA ORACION POR LAS NOCHES AUNQUE SEA EN EL BAÑO PARA QUE
NO TE VEAY POR LAS MAÑANAS EN TU TRABAJO.
HASLO UNA VES POR SEMANA. OK CON MUCHA FE OK.

Loose translation:

1 - it lines a plate with role aluminum. 2 - it throws honey in the plate 3 -esporvorea cinnamon on the plate AND you PUT THE PETALOS OF THE FLOWER ON
THE PLATE THAT REMAIN HIT IN THE HONEY. 4 -you put the photo face up 5 -put the candle or veladora on the photo 6 -grease him honey to the candle and
esporvorea cinnamon 7 -before the honey and the cinnamon writes the name of the in the candle with the lapiz of wood. 8 -you lighting it and resa



ESPIRITU BODY AND SOUL OF SO-AND-SO. ................. They SEE BECAUSE I YOU CALL SEE BECAUSE I YOU DOMINATE
SEE BECAUSE I YOU SUGESTIONO TRANQUILIDADS you SHOULD NOT HAVE UNTIL AVENGE YIELDED AND HUMILIATED TO MY FEET
ASI AS YOU I CROSS THIS PIN TO THE HALF OF THIS CANDLE ASI WANT THAT ITSELF ATRVIESE MY THOUGHT IN THE HALF OF
YOUR CORAZON SO THAT FORGET THE WOMAN THAT HAVE AND AVENGE THAT I CALL YOU(It is REPEATED THREE TIMES) ANGEL OF
ITS I GAVE, ANGEL OF THE I GAVE OF TODAY ANGEL OF THE GUARD OF SO-AND-SO. ........... It FOLDS THE CORAZON OF
SO-AND-SO SO THAT FORGET THE WOMAN THAT HAVE AND COME YIELDED OF LOVE TO MY FEET,.

BEFORE RESAR CROSSES A PIN IN THE HALF OF THE CANDLE. And TRIES RESAR THIS ORACION BY THE NIGHTS ALTHOUGH BE IN THE BATH SO THAT YOU NOT VEAY BY THE MORNINGS IN YOUR WORK. HASLO A you SEE FOR WEEK. OK
WITH A GREAT DEAL OF FAITH OK.

This is one the witchdoctor gave her to do on her own, free of charge. Dont forget she is still paying him $900 to do one on me.
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  #34  
Old 04-29-2003, 12:31 PM
ZenBeam ZenBeam is offline
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This isn't the same as just "freedom of religion". I don't think I can start a religion that practices throwing rocks at people we don't like, and hide behind freedom of religion. Wouldn't this be technically considered assault (or maybe attempted battery)? LanceUSMC may not believe it, but presumably the wife does.
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  #35  
Old 04-29-2003, 12:49 PM
Ethilrist Ethilrist is offline
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When I was in college, one of my fellow students was married. She and her husband were expecting their first child and the father became convinced that she was bearing the Antichrist. They discussed this with their minister, who suggested that they perform an exorcism over her. He pointed out that, if the father was wrong, it wouldn't do any harm, and if he was right, hey, one for the record books.

They had the exorcism performed, and the husband decided it didn't take. He ended up divorcing her. Later, she was talking to her minister, and he asked her, "So, have you come up with any baby names yet?"

"Sure," she said. "Damien."

You could try an exorcism. Hope it works out better for you.
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  #36  
Old 04-29-2003, 01:09 PM
Futile Gesture Futile Gesture is offline
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The religious freedom angle is irrelevant. Lance's wife is free to believe anything she wishes, but that doesn't mean she's free to plot to do harm to someone else. It doesn't really matter if the plot involves something as ridiculous as 'curses'. His wife evidently believed in them and wished to do physical harm to her husband.

It may not get her arrested, and may not even be illegal, but it has to count for something in any divorce or custody proceedings. Just steer clear of addressing the nature of the belief and concentrate on the desire to do harm. However, make it clear you don't buy into it, or you'll come across as being just as crazy as she appears to be.

Naturally, IANAL and this is all IMHO.
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  #37  
Old 04-29-2003, 01:52 PM
Iteki Iteki is offline
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IAN an anything at all, but wouldn't this go under the same legal definition as something else I have seen discussed on here? In other words the grey areas of "if I think I am selling cocain, but I am selling sherbert, am I committing a crime?" and the "if I think I am hitting on a 12 year old girl, but I am hitting on a police officer can I be charged?" questions.
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  #38  
Old 04-29-2003, 03:17 PM
Cervaise Cervaise is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by LanceUSMC
1 - it lines a plate with role aluminum. 2 - it throws honey in the plate
IT PUTS THE LOTION IN THE BASKET OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.
Quote:
how can it help me?
In contrast to those who suggest you should ignore the curse, I think you should pretend the curse is working, and thereby encourage her to waste her money on more stupid shit. Oh, and yeah, talk to your lawyer about it.
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  #39  
Old 04-29-2003, 03:54 PM
martin_ibn_martin martin_ibn_martin is offline
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damn, I wish my husband would log out already...

This is HennaDancer.

That is not a curse. It is a love spell. She wants you to leave any other loves and be wrapped around her finger. Honey, flower petals, love. Pretty basic.
$900? you can get that kind of crap at Ye Olde Religionne Crystal Shoppe and Gast Station for under ten. Sheesh. If only being a stupid consumer were a factor in a custody judgement.
If I were you, I;d forward all messages to her priest. Not just that she'll have to do mondo penance, but that perhaps he can help her with some counseling or something.
If you want to fight this, all you have to do is get a piece of scrap paper and a pen. Draw a picture of a hand with an eye in the center and think about it being a policeman's hand held to to say STOP to anything oogy headed your way. Put it in your pocket or otherwise near you.
Just because something is silly does not mean it won't work.
Best of luck,
Hennadancer.
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  #40  
Old 04-29-2003, 05:48 PM
Chronos Chronos is offline
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HennaDancer, you can log him out yourself. Go to the main message board page, and there should be a link near the bottom right that says "Log out". Click that, and it should then allow you to log in as yourself.

And I don't think that LanceUSMC is actually concerned about the curse, he's just wondering whether it could be of use to him in the forthcoming legal actions. If it is, in fact, a curse, then it seems to me that the answer is a resounding "yes". Either his wife is crazy, or she's trying to do him harm, or both. And craziness and attempts to do harm are both things that a judge should most certainly consider. On the other hand, if it (and all the other "spells") are meant to be love spells, rather than curses, then I'm not sure that the "attempt to do harm" argument would work, and it would come down to a freedom of religion issue. For comparison, a judge would not be swayed by a wife buying lingere and perfume, which has much the same intention. But I know nothing about charms or curses, so I can't back up HennaDancer's identification.
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  #41  
Old 04-29-2003, 06:13 PM
Fishhead Fishhead is offline
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Hennadancer may have some strange recommendations, but she is right in that the goal of the "curse" is not that harm to come to you, although it does seem like she's a bit of a dominatrix. The goal of the spell seems to be to get you to drop a mistress and to return to her and to be devoted to her (and to be humiliated, perhaps by your straying). Spanish is not my first language, but I spent three years in Costa Rica, so I have some command of the language.
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