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  #1  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:22 AM
Philosophocles Philosophocles is offline
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Insert Miscellaneous Line From TV Infomercial Here
"With the money you save on the first 30 pounds of beef jerky, the machine pays for itself."
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  #2  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:42 AM
Zenster Zenster is offline
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But wait! There's more!

This week, a free set of Ginsu knives!
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  #3  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:59 AM
lesa lesa is offline
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Your bed invites your guests - to leave!
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  #4  
Old 05-15-2003, 03:10 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Egg salad here - but where's the shell? Amazing.

But that's not all!
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  #5  
Old 05-15-2003, 04:17 AM
DarrenS DarrenS is offline
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How much would you expect to pay for something like this?
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  #6  
Old 05-15-2003, 05:12 AM
Dijon Warlock Dijon Warlock is offline
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"Not one hundred and fifty dollars, not one hundred and twenty dollars. Not one hundred and ten, one hundred, ninety, eighty, seventy, or even sixty dollars like you might all be thinking. Right now, if you promise to tell a friend so we can get some word of mouth advertising, all you'll pay is just four easy credit card payments of just $39.95"
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  #7  
Old 05-15-2003, 07:42 AM
Shodan Shodan is online now
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Location: Milky Way Galaxy
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Operators are standing by. No CODs.

Regards,
Shodan
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  #8  
Old 05-15-2003, 08:36 AM
dwc1970 dwc1970 is offline
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Call within the next ten minutes and receive FREE as a BONUS GIFT...
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  #9  
Old 05-15-2003, 08:40 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Think this ice will jam it?

Rap-tou soon 'crushes' that idea!
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  #10  
Old 05-15-2003, 08:43 AM
Labdad Labdad is offline
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and it really really works!!
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  #11  
Old 05-15-2003, 08:59 AM
NutMagnet NutMagnet is offline
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Set it and ... FORGET IT!
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  #12  
Old 05-15-2003, 10:35 AM
Beadalin Beadalin is offline
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Use it on tablecloths, upholstery, carpet, even Grandma's antique lace!

P.S. NutMagnet, you suck. That's what I was going to post.
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  #13  
Old 05-15-2003, 10:50 AM
Gangster Octopus Gangster Octopus is offline
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But I don't have the time?
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  #14  
Old 05-15-2003, 10:58 AM
smam smam is offline
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How often does this happen to you?


OH Yeah I love this one - " Why not get two, one for the house and one for the boat?"
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  #15  
Old 05-15-2003, 11:16 AM
Biggirl Biggirl is offline
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I know it's not magic-- it must be science!




This one stuck me as so incredibly stupid, I started a Pit thread about it.
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  #16  
Old 05-15-2003, 11:20 AM
Rico Rico is offline
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And it looks exactly like your own, natural hair!
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  #17  
Old 05-15-2003, 12:28 PM
Buck The Diver Buck The Diver is offline
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And boy, does it catch fish!
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  #18  
Old 05-15-2003, 01:32 PM
Winston Bongo Winston Bongo is offline
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“And it’s great for RVs!”

(For some reason, almost every infomercial ever made has to point out that their product works for/in RVs, even if the product has nothing to do with them. “And these steak knives are so sharp, they can be stored in your RV!”)
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  #19  
Old 05-15-2003, 01:41 PM
Mars Horizon Mars Horizon is offline
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It slices, it dices, it does julienne fries!!!
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  #20  
Old 05-15-2003, 01:44 PM
Vixenation Vixenation is offline
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Available for 3 low payments of $19.95. But if you call in the next 10 minutes, we'll CUT OFF 2 whole payments!
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  #21  
Old 05-15-2003, 01:53 PM
Terminus Est Terminus Est is online now
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Make perfect pancakes every time!
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  #22  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:10 PM
Beadalin Beadalin is offline
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Oh, no!
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  #23  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:27 PM
Casey1505 Casey1505 is offline
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Void where prohibited. Offer not valid in Texas, Louisiana, and North Dakota. Please allow 4-12 weeks for delivery.
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  #24  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:40 PM
Spoons Spoons is offline
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Mention that you saw this ad and we'll throw in another one absolutely free! That's two for the price of one!

And one of my all-time favourites:

Great for campers and a must for boaters!
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  #25  
Old 05-15-2003, 02:40 PM
DeVena DeVena is offline
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[fake Jamaican accent]

Call me now!

[/fake Jamaican accent]
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  #26  
Old 05-15-2003, 03:22 PM
Intaglio Intaglio is offline
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Its the Crystals that are the secret - For some people Diamonds are a Girls Best Friend, for me its Crystals.
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  #27  
Old 05-15-2003, 03:24 PM
Skammer Skammer is offline
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"And it can be stored easily under a bed!"

"For entertainment purposes only. Children under 18 please get your parent's permission."
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  #28  
Old 05-15-2003, 09:27 PM
Philosophocles Philosophocles is offline
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"I was dead broke, until I started placing TINY CLASSIFIED ADS from my one bedroom apartment."
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  #29  
Old 05-15-2003, 11:09 PM
LilShieste LilShieste is offline
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"Well, how does it work?"
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  #30  
Old 05-15-2003, 11:11 PM
masonite masonite is offline
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It gets down into the matting! It gets down into the padding!
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  #31  
Old 05-16-2003, 08:20 AM
Labdad Labdad is offline
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Why, you could make a tomato last all summer slicing it this thin!
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  #32  
Old 05-16-2003, 08:33 AM
shamrock227 shamrock227 is offline
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Lose up to 20 pounds and two dress sizes in just two short weeks!


results not typical
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  #33  
Old 05-16-2003, 08:35 AM
MSU 1978 MSU 1978 is offline
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It will slice meat so thin your mother in law will never come back.
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  #34  
Old 05-16-2003, 08:51 AM
dinahmoe dinahmoe is offline
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Sorry Tennesse!!
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  #35  
Old 05-16-2003, 09:00 AM
TeaElle TeaElle is offline
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Jan, I just can't believe it!
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  #36  
Old 05-16-2003, 09:37 AM
Shodan Shodan is online now
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Not sold in any store.

Regards,
Shodan
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  #37  
Old 05-16-2003, 09:56 AM
stolichnaya stolichnaya is offline
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As used in hospitals.
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  #38  
Old 05-16-2003, 10:00 AM
pepperlandgirl pepperlandgirl is offline
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Make fresh peanut butter! Ground coffee! Turn boiled eggs into delicious egg salad!
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  #39  
Old 05-16-2003, 10:03 AM
stolichnaya stolichnaya is offline
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You shouldn't listen to crowds, and you shouldn't listen to pans.
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  #40  
Old 05-16-2003, 10:14 AM
insomnia4AM insomnia4AM is offline
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If you call in the next ten minutes, we'll double the size! That's right, you get a full 12 ounce tub for the price of the 6 ounce tub!
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  #41  
Old 05-22-2003, 01:34 AM
radiohead49 radiohead49 is offline
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(Said when the cameras tun off) "I can't believe they are actually buying this peice of shit! And the FDA doesn't even have to approve it!"
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  #42  
Old 05-22-2003, 08:43 AM
haardvark haardvark is offline
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please help me, Mr. Popeil...
dizzy blond woman: HOW MANY kinds of pasta?

Ron P.: Hundreds. HUNDREDS of kinds of pasta.

d.b.w.: WOW. HUNDREDS of kinds of pasta!

splash text at bottom of screen: Hundreds of kinds of pasta!!

audience of the damned: clap. clap. clap. clap. clap.
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