I’m home today, my youngest son has a high fever and has been coughing all night. So I called out of work, no biggie, I rarely call out. So I’m just sitting around the house today with him, watching Smurfs, feeding him meds and soup and popsicles (thanks Dem!).
Now I’m just curious, all of you married or in a relationship dopers with children, who stays home when the kids get sick? Do you take turns, draw straws, shoot it out odds or evens? Any single dopers ever been made to feel as if your job were in jeopardy because you are the sole caretaker of your child/children?
If A equals success, then the formula is: A = X + Y + Z, X is work. Y is play. Z is keep your mouth shut.
-Albert Einstein
My husband and I usually take turns, or whoever is going to be in less trouble for taking the day. Now that my children are older it’s not such a big deal, but when they were babies. . .
When my daughter was young, it was my husband who stayed home, as his pay wasn’t docked and mine was. He also enjoyed the time off so it was a win/win.
I think being a single parent is the toughest of all… I am curious as to what some of the responses from them are too.
I really try to be good but it just isn’t in my nature!
psycat - my old job was like that. It was a family run business, and the owner’s wife had always been able to stay home with the kids - they had NO clue.
I finally left due to other reasons, and yes, there is a lawsuit pending.
I’m a single parent. I’ve been with my company for 14 years. They allow you to have sick time for you, and your immediate family, including your mother, father, etc., not only your kids. My son is grown now so I don’t have to take very much any more.
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
I had a husband and three small children when I started to work outside the home. Never any question about who would take care of the children when they were sick… ex-husband was under the illusion that my working was an extra-curricular activity. I can remember fearing for my job and taking the diagnosis sheet, the pediatrician gave me, to my supervisor – suprisingly, she actually made copies for my personnel file.
When I separated, I made arrangements with my after-school babysitters to take care of my kids when the children didn’t necessarily need ME, but were too sick to go to school. Sometimes, I would be lucky enough to have my ex-mother-in-law pamper my kids and tell them what a horrible parent I was for providing them with a home. A working single parent, with small children, rarely ever enjoys fun vacation days.
Mrs. Pluto didn’t work outside the home till the youngest was 9 or 10 but since then it’s usually been me who stays home simply because I have sick leave (she didn’t until just recently) and my work can tick along just fine without me for a day or two, where her’s is more of “we scheduled you because we need you”.
Also, I really like missing work!
If all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail.
My hubby is a school teacher, and when he stays home it’s a hassle because he has to find a substitute to cover his class. Plus, he leaves in the morning before the kids are really up and moving, so I’m the one who has to make the call about whether they stay home or not. Unless I am out of town or have to be in court or at a meeting or something, I have pretty good flexibility for staying home, and can usually do a bunch of work at home.
There are times – just last week – when Hubby has stayed home with a sick kid, because I just can’t. Also, Eldest Son, who will be 15 in a couple of weeks, not only can stay home by himself, but if it happens that he is sick and so is one of the younger children (and that’s common), then my husband and I will both go to work, unless any child is seriously ill. I’m about fifteen minutes away from home, and the kids have my direct line number, so that works, too.
I’ve also been known to bring a too-sick-to-go-to-school-but-not-too-sick-to-go-out child to the office with a sleeping bag, book, etc., and plump him down in an empty office for a while. Not often, but sometimes.
I’m fortunate enough to be a stay-home mom, so obviously it’s me who stays with Nicky. I’ve often wondered how single parents did it. My mom was a single parent, but I stayed home alone from the time I was 6 or so.
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“it’s all real”
“I KNEW IT!!!”
O p a l C a t www.opalcat.com
This is a toughie, especially for single parents. IMO, any place that jerks people around over caring for a sick child is no good place to work. sigh Not that there are always a whole lot of choices.
I don’t have kids, but the parents I work with have various strategies. The lucky ones have spouses to help balance childcare needs, or willing family nearby.
One nice thing about working in a fairly small place is that co-workers are often willing to pitch in, e.g. work for the parent if he/she will “pay back” the day within the pay period. As long as service needs are covered and it doesn’t run into overtime, the flexibility can really work.
It’s plain stupid to put employees in a position of having to choose between livelihood and caring for a sick kid. There are often ways it can be worked out.
A friend of mine who is taking law classes said that if you are in an interview and they ask about your single parenthood, they cannot base your not being hired on that. If they do, then you can sue them. I don’t know if that goes with them firing you also. I’m not sure. I’m not taking the class.
Like Opal, I’m a domestic tyrant and consider myself very fortunate to be able to stay home.
My old company was screwy. The owners daugther, my direct boss (about 40) had two kids and they took every sick day at the office. 90% of the time the were not sick. One year alone they had over 30 sick days and still were allowed to pass.
What this meant was us employees actually did the baby sitting and the feeding of these little credants. Their mom never brought them lunch. After 8 years of watching this behavior of kids actually ruling their parents, I knew I wanted to stay at home. That way I would know where my kids got their bad manners from.
Naturally, my old boss had c-sections because she could not carry either of her spawn to term for whatever reason and because she did not handle either of her sons for the first four months of their rotten lives she said all I needed for time off for maternity was Three weeks.
I kid you not.
And they wonder why I never call, visit or write.
My heart goes out to all the single parents out there. I don’t know how they ever manage.
