Conversation problems

[R_dawg]

Ok I'll admit it...I'm boring to talk to in real life. Anyone got any book suggestions? I just never was a good talker and that's kicking me in the nuts at social events. Any book on how to talk to normal people (NOT celebs, teachers, cops, etc.).
Your guys's help would be most appreciated on this one!
P.S. I love this message board! I found it at www.bored.com and now I wanna make love to it!

[Odieman]

Now that's a mental image I'll have trouble getting out of my head.
Keith

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You want brilliance BEFORE I've had my coffee!!!

[Arnold Winkelried]

How about joining a book club? You get together with a group of people, read a book and discuss it. Many bookstores have them. After a while (or maybe even right away!) you should be able to participate in the conversations intelligently.

As far as making love to the SDMB, it's not a cheap hooker. Treat it with respect and you'll be treated with respect.

[R_dawg]

AHAHA! :P :P

[Vestal Blue]

Try Dale Carnegies' "How To Win Friends And Influence People" for starters. It's a good foundational book for dealing with people in general.

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VB

Some people say that cats are sneaky, evil, and cruel. True, and they have many other fine qualities as well.

[SingleDad]

I hate people... I don't want to talk to them. I'd rather talk to the like-minded intellectual aliens here on SDMB.

[Sycorax]

Being basically a shy person, I feel your pain, and I suspect you're a shy one too. Much depends on the situation. In general, stay up with current events (read a daily newspaper), so if they come up in conversation, you can comment, even if it's just to say, "oh yeah, I was reading about that, isn't that something?" I've found that starting the conversation is the tricky part. People love compliments -- remark on someone's outfit, tie, dress, hairstyle. Comment on the event itself and the other folks -- "isn't this a great party?" "Do you know so-and-so?" Shy people are too self-conscious. Don't worry about it so much, try to get outside yourself and enjoy the event and conversation will come easier.

[techchick68]

I second the Dale Carnegie book...if you want to take it a step further take one of their classes. It did me wonders, even though I am still chicken to get up in front of a group of people and talk, for one on one or small group conversations it does a lot for you.

[Dr.Watson]

I've always found pointing out the window in horror and screaming, "WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?" to be a guaranteed conversation starter.

Of course, I don't get invited to many cocktail parties anymore . . .

Dr. Watson
"Somebody showed it to me and I found it by myself." -- Lew Welch

[voguevixen]

I'm telling you guys...always have gum on your person. No one will turn down an offer of gum; conversation just flows from there.



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Now there's nothing unexpected about the water giving out; "Land" is not a word we have to shout.

[R_dawg]

Okie dokie. But yeah it's just 1 on 1 conversation that I most need. Thank you my Message board guru friends!

[Kat]

In general, stay up with current events (read a daily newspaper), so if they come up in conversation, you can comment, even if it's just to say, "oh yeah, I was reading about that, isn't that something?"

The opposite works also. I no longer get the daily paper and refuse to watch TV news, so if I haven't been able to get to my news webpage, I can just say, "No, I didn't hear about that. What happened?"

[handy]

If you are boring to talk to, find some deaf women to talk to. They do ALL The talking.

[TVeblen]

Hey, I commiserate, pal. I've battled shyness all my life. I watch in awe at my best friend; she happily admits she could talk to a wall. She can talk to anyone, anywhere.

Years ago I read a book called, "how to talk to anyone about anything"; don't remember the author, but it helped my youthful social paralysis.

Basically, ask questions of the other person. It shows interest and breaks the ice. Most people love to talk about themselves, and you'll find SOMETHING to pin a conversation on.

If nothing else, prep some questions: what do you enjoy doing most? what's the hardest thing you've ever done? who's your best friend? what do you do when you're happy/unhappy? what do you do for a living, and what's it like? etc.

With a little maneuvering you can pop in a question and then you're off to the races.

And, hey...good luck. Nobody is judging you nearly as hard as you're judging yourself.

Veb