Antibody on the STFU mango to maglesh up everytang they hay?

[Aslan of Narnia]

Argh. I almost always have something to say, and I have it layed perfectly in my mind. A perfect pun/joke, things that I'd like to comment on, things that are so simple to say, I almost always manage to forget simple words so I sound like a dolt. It's hard to roll with it, like you're joking around when every second sentence is something like "Hey that glass water thing, can I have one of those water things to drink the water with?" except add a uh to nearly every word, more subtle confusions of words, and a 50/50 chance that I'll be too flustered to continue to ask the question. Which leads to "What did you want?" and even more chances for me to mangle up my english horribly.

I know I sound like I'm whining, but it usually makes things pretty funny, and generally adds more levity to the conversaition.

Anybody seem to do this a lot?

[dropzone]

All the time. It's why I prefer writing to speaking--no matter how mangled my writing seems it is still several revisions in while speech is still at revision zero.

It's worst at work, where my bosses value a rapierlike wit, especially at our 7:15AM meetings. I sit there, silent and unvalued, because I can't do quick and cutting that early.

[Q.E.D.]

For me, it's not the words, it's the typing. I'm horrible at it. Allow me to regale you with an unedited bit of my typing skills:

"thyping ,is not fun. I'm not good at it and i always soom to miss the kyes or type the srong letter. i'be troied to practivce, but i just can't quite get it right."

[sciguy]

Whoa, my admiration for QED just went up a hundred-fold. Not only does he know loads of stuff, but his editting skills are nigh superhuman...

As for myself, I have the habit of:
1) skipping syllables, words or whole sentences trying to get the thoughts from my head to my tongue.
2) Started conversations in the middle because I had been practicing them in my head (very common when trying to talk to women).
3) For the life of me, I don't know why 80% of the times I type "the" it comes out "teh". I mean, going from t->h alternates hands, so it should be easier than t->e, right?
4) Be typing along, before realizing that my fingers had shifted left or right on the home row keys:
the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog
becomes
yjr wiovl ntpem gpc ki,[d pbrt yjr ;sxu fph/

Maybe I should go back to hunt-and-peck...

[if you don't know i won't tell]

My most common error, is to drop a word out completely; or put another word in it's place that is completely unrelated to both the original word, or the context of the sentence. Also, I tend to change thoughts midsentence. Such as:

Potatoes are yummy Awwww look at Alex he's so cute!

I do that also, sciguy. I usually catch myself, before I post, or send, whichever venue I'm using, thankfully. I also put letters in words where they don't belong. My friend Sean turns into Seahsdsdn. Amusing, to say the least.

[NoClueBoy]

nOe of my msot prevelant mistakes is tpyign dyslexia.

Sometimes, it still comes through, even tho I try to proof. On big posts, I write in Corel first, then copy into The Dope.

Shorter posts, I just go. "hte" is my most common mistake.

Tho I know where my home keys are, sometimes I forget which hand I'm using.

vB mistakes are fun, too.

Often, in a Star Trek thread, instead of saying, "Viva, you ignorant Pakled." I type, "[v]Biba[/v], you ignorant Pakled."

Fun

[Super Gnat]

Misspellings of "the" might be common because Word automatically corrects them. I wrote "teh" a lot when most of my typing was done in Word, but now that most of my typing is done here and on LJ, I rarely mistype it.

I weird stuff in typing, but I backspace and edit so quickly I hardly even notice. I usually don't mangle words in speech because I tend to err on the side of not saying anything .

(BTW, anyone paying especial attention to their typing now?)

[look!ninjas]

Anyone ever go to Engrish.com? That's how I talk. I grew up speaking English. I don't know why I do this. But all the same, I keep coming out with "She was taking good notes for the understanding," and similar mangled phrases. At least I can type okay.

I misread things all the time, but maybe that's a thread of its own.

[bouv]

Originally posted by Q.E.D.
For me, it's not the words, it's the typing. I'm horrible at it. Allow me to regale you with an unedited bit of my typing skills:

"thyping ,is not fun. I'm not good at it and i always soom to miss the kyes or type the srong letter. i'be troied to practivce, but i just can't quite get it right."

I'm the same way, Q.E.D., here's an example of MY typing prowess:

"Q.E.D and I should make a support group for dislexic typers, because we oth have trouvle hitting the right key, and Im looking at the keyboard right now as I;m typing."

Yeah, not so good. That's why I think the backspace is the key I hit more than anything else, with the possible exception of the space key.

[faithfool]

I'm one of those who just stop mid-sentence and try to think of the word I want that's SO unusual..... like 'phone' or 'pillow' or some such. And I wait and point, trying to make my stupid brain go into the correct gear for that really difficult term.

Yep. Makes me look like a right huge dork. Thanks for asking.

Thankfully, like Q.E.D. pointed out, typing is much better for correction and revision *before* anyone sees. But I just know this one'll have Gaudere all over it no matter how much I preview and proof.

[Krisfer the Cat]

I seem to think faster than my mouth works so frequently I am mentally half a paragraph ahead of my mouth. Makes for all sorts of wierd sentence combinations...

I am thinking " Ancient Egypt evolved out of the native indigenous culture that practised a religion that was expressed in the careful creation of rock art."

What I say is "Ancient Egypt evolved outta a bunch of rocks."

or mix two words around: Yeah I gotta go move the driveway outta the truck...(and i am sure the truck appreciates it very much!)