(don't) Ask Joe Cool anything!

[Joe_Cool]

Well, I thought I'd add my own mundane and pointless thread, since everybody else has one.

Don't ask anything you want to know about me. Don't ask me anything you want answered. In fact, feel free not to ask me questions on ANY topic, be it physics, vegetarianism, the gravitational constant, the price of tea in China, martial arts, computers, even the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow. I probably wouldn't know the answers anyway.

Don't fire away!

--------------
Romanes Eunt Domus.
--------
Joe Cool

[Demo]

Joe, where are all my missing socks?

[Cessandra]

Don't answer that, Joe -- at least not without an attorney present.

------------------
Cessandra

I would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling kids!

[Joe_Cool]

crap. nobody ever listens.

Demo, which socks do you mean? The gray one is behind the cushion in your couch, and the white one with red & blue stripes is in the trunk of your car. (what the hell were you doing in there?????)

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If you say it, mean it. If you mean it, do it.
If you do it, live it. If you live it, say it.
-----
Joe Cool

[ChiefScott]

African or European?

------------------
Voted Best Sport
And narrowly averted the despised moniker Smiley Master

Forward deployed until 18AUG00

[SwimmingRiddles]

What's your favorite color?

[Shadowfox]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?




------------------
Shadowfox

"The dead have risen, and they're voting Republican!" - Bart Simpson

[Trout Mask Replica]

How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

------------------
TMR
LETS RIDE THIS SAUCER FULL OF SupErlovE INTO OUR FORTOLD UTOPIAN MILLENIUM...

[NothingMan]

Fish in a barrel.

Hey Joe . . . you cool ?

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by ChiefScott:
African or European?

African.

SwimmingRiddles:
What's your favorite color?

It would drive you mad to know. Oh, wait a minute. I almost forgot where it is I'm posting. Everybody here is already mad. So my favorite color is #F3170C in hexadecimal RGB code.

Shadowfox:
How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

This must be a trick question. Everybody knows that no self-respecting woodchuck would actually chuck wood. Chucking wood is a highly developed innate skill for all woodchucks, but it is widely considered to be gauche. In fact, it is through denying the instinctual drive to chuck wood that woodchucks achieve the ultimate religious expression and hope eventually to experience the nothingness of being. It's kind of a zen thing.

Trout Mask Replica:
How many licks does it take to get to the Tootsie Roll center of a Tootsie Pop?

Let's find out. <unwrap> a-one, a-two-who, a-three, <CRUNCH!!>. Three.

NothingMan:
Hey Joe . . . [are] you cool ?

Too many variables involved. It depends on how you define "cool." Coolness has several connotations: one subjective, one absolute, one relating to temperature.

Examples:
"13 year old girls think n'sync is cool." <--- Subjective.
"KMFDM is cool." <--- Absolute.
"Jackie Chan is cool." <--- Absolute.
"It feels kind of cool in here, I need a jacket." <--- Temperature.

It depends on from whose perspective you want to know if I'm cool. It depends on the thermostat setting here at work. It depends on the ultimate question of life, the universe, and everything. It depends on local gravitational effects.

But the definitive answer is an unswerving maybe.

------------------
If you say it, mean it. If you mean it, do it.
If you do it, live it. If you live it, say it.
-----
Joe Cool

[mrblue92]

What is the answer to this question?

[danielnsmith]

How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Chuck he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

-------------------------------------
Hey Joe, what's the meaning of life?

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by mrblue92:
What is the answer to this question?

Yes.

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by danielnsmith:
Hey Joe, what's the meaning of life?

Forty-two

[mrblue92]

Chuck he would, as much as he could, if a woodchuck could chuck wood.

I always thought the answer was:

"A woodchuck would chuck as much as a woodchuck could chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood."

But where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked?

[MrKnowItAll]

Does Snoopy know you're using his pseudonym?

(Don't ask about Bullwinkle.)

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God is my co-pilot. Blame Him.

[Ophanim]

Have you heard MDFMK? Is it cool? Should I go out and buy it?

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Where's my side of FUN!?

Kisses!
Ophy

[ASPA]

QUOTE, Originally posted by Joe_Cool:
I probably wouldn't know the answers anyway.

Wait, I gave you all the answers just now. Quick, go to ASPAs ANSWERS in the mundane section. (Mundane means worldly, you know.)

[Northern Piper]

what does a kid eat the middle of first?

[Anti Pro]

Joe, I don't want to ask a question, okay?
What time is it?

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"Um, according to who? Nothing more than a high brow troll, though occasionally the bi polar personality swung in a constructive direction on innocuous topics." Omniscient

[purrplebear]

Joe, why is it that my hubby always has lint in his bellybutton, and I never do?

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You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life.
L.L.

[billehunt]

Joe, do you like iced lattes, aka Cool Joes?

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by Ophanim:
Have you heard MDFMK? Is it cool? Should I go out and buy it?

I've only heard one song (Rabble Rouser) and it's pretty good. Sounds pretty much like what you'd expect. Heavy guitar, heavy beat track, standard fare for KMFDMDFMK. I haven't bought it yet, but I'm going to.

MrKnowItAll:
Does Snoopy know you're using his pseudonym?

No, snoopy uses MY pseudonym, dammit! I sued that stupid dog. Wanna hear what happened? They said he owned the name just because he thought of it before I was born. What a bunch of crap. can you believe it?

jti:
what does a kid eat the middle of first?

Isn't that some hotdog commercial from the 70's? Where the kid couldn't decide which end of the hotdog to start on, so he bit the middle out? I don't remember the brand.

Anti Pro:
Joe, I don't want to ask a question, okay?

Ok.

purplebear:
Joe, why is it that my hubby always has lint in his bellybutton, and I never do?

Excellent question!
Next question?

[quote]billehunt:
Joe, do you like iced lattes, aka Cool Joes?

Yes. But only on the third tuesday and the second monday of every month.

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[inertia]

Boxers or briefs?

What's sexier on women, cotton or silk? I kinda lean toward cotton. It's much more hospitable.

[psycat90]

Is it safe?

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Any similarity between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

[ASPA]

How do you contain several quotes within one posted answer to them all, as opposed to having to [i]reply separately[i] to each one? Thanks, ahead, forthe answer.

[ASPA]

[quote]Originally posted by ASPA:
I mean, reply separately

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by psycat90:
Is it safe?

YES. It's perfectly safe. But it's prohibited in Arizona, Vermont, Connecticut, and Massachusetts. of course, that depends on what your definition of "it" is.

inertia:
Boxers or briefs? What's sexier on women, cotton or silk?

Boxers at the moment. Either, both, or neither, depending on what I feel like wearing at the moment.

On women, anything can be sexy. It depends on what else she's wearing. If she's dressed all trampy, silk is better. If she's dressed demurely, cotton is better. On some women, even plastic or a potato sack can look sexy.

ASPA:
How do you contain several quotes within one posted answer to them all, as opposed to having to reply separately to each one?

I'm just using the [quote] tag each time and copy/paste to put in the text I want.

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[ASPA]

[quote]Originally posted by Joe_Cool:
I'm just using the

tag each time and copy/paste to put in the text I want.

I have trouble pasting, must be doing it wrong: When I click paste (using the standard toolbar) nothing pastes. Is there some "inhouse" copy/paste thing I should be using? I appreciate the reply; it's more interactive and directly helpful than searching the faq. Thankx again.

[inertia]

Plastic? You can get 'em in plastic? That sounds so disposable. I'm not even going for it.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Joe, what is the meaning of Life? Of Time? Of "Model Railroader Newsletter & Gazetteer"?

And if your cool, why don't you put on a sweater, instead of turning up the heat all the time?
And why haven't you eaten all your meat? HOW CAN YOU GET DESSERT IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED ALL YOUR MEAT? DO YOU WANT TO BREAK YOUR MOTHER'S HEART?

------------------
You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
"You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself." - Bill Clinton

[as_u_wish]

Can I ask the next question?

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inconceivable? i don't think that word means what you think it does

[Northern Piper]

[humming] A kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo first, and save the chocolate cookie outside for last. [/humming]

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and the stars o'erhead were dancing heel to toe

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by smug:
EXACT value of pi please.

it's equal to precisely 1.0 (in base pi)
or 2.0 in base (pi/2)
it's also equal to precisely 4*arctan(1), or

00
____
\ 1
4* > (-1^(n-1))( ------ )
/___ 2n-1
n=1

How's that?

purplebear:
Hey! No fair!! Everyone else got an answer to their question! Whassa matta, too hard for ya?

Okay, 'nother one for you. Where did my amethyst earring get to?

Dammit purplebear, you're supposed to ask me easy questions! You're making me look bad here. Check behind the faucet in your bathroom for the amethyst earrings. And you have a positive EPG (electrical potential gradient) with respect to the environment which causes your body to repel lint. Your husband is positively charged (opposites attract, see how that works out?) and all the lint flows down the gradient towards him.

Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor:
Joe, what is the meaning of Life? Of Time? Of "Model Railroader Newsletter & Gazetteer"?

And if your cool, why don't you put on a sweater, instead of turning up the heat all the time? And why haven't you eaten all your meat? HOW CAN YOU GET DESSERT IF YOU HAVEN'T FINISHED ALL YOUR MEAT? DO YOU WANT TO BREAK YOUR MOTHER'S HEART?

The meaning of both time and life is purchase by, followed by subservience to america online. MRN&G is a front for the IRA and also for various alien expeditionary forces preparing to invade earth (just goes to show, you can't trust the damn irish! haha). Its purpose is for laundering money and covertly gaining support here in the states.

"IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT, YOU CAN'T HAVE ANY PUDDING! HOW CAN YOU HAVE ANY PUDDING IF YOU DON'T EAT YER MEAT?!"

jti:
[humming] A kid'll eat the middle of an Oreo first, and save the chocolate cookie outside for last. [/humming]

Never heard that one before. I could have sworn there was a hotdog commercial like that back in the 70s.

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by Joe_Cool:
00
____
\ 1
4* > (-1^(n-1))( ------ )
/___ 2n-1
n=1

crap. that should have been this:
<BLOCKQUOTE><font size="1" face="Verdana, Arial">code:</font><HR><pre>
00
____
\ 1
4* &gt; (-1^(n-1))( ------ )
/___ 2n-1
n=1
[/code]

and the 00 is supposed to be infinity. not the green square on a roulette wheel.

[Joe_Cool]

Ok, last try:
pi= 4 times the sum (as n goes from 1 to infinity) of the terms (-1^(n-1))(1/(2n-1))

or 4*pi = 1 - 1/3 + 1/5 - 1/7 + 1/9...

I want my HTML.

[GoSensGo]

What makes a question a question, if by the act of questioning we mean a mere interrogation, but not a rhetorical device, other than the question mark at the end of the sentence, and the interrogative pronoun at the start of the sentence?

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by Joe_Cool:
4*pi =

make that pi/4. I'm going to lie down now.

[BigRoryG]

isn't pi also the ratio of the circumference of a circle to it's area or something like that?

alright Joe, here's my question:

Why do they put hot dogs in packages of eight and buns in packages of six?

------------------
"Elmo knows where you live! -- Elmo, after Homer stiffed PBS for $10,000
If you need a graphic solution, http:\\talk.to\Piglet

[foolsguinea]

Why?

[BigRoryG]

foolsguinea: Why?

Because, silly.

------------------
"Elmo knows where you live! -- Elmo, after Homer stiffed PBS for $10,000
If you need a graphic solution, http:\\talk.to\Piglet

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by BigRoryG:
isn't pi also the ratio of the circumference of a circle to it's area or something like that?

yes.

Why do they put hot dogs in packages of eight and buns in packages of six?

They don't. They put hot dogs in packs of 10 and buns in packs of 8.

foolsguinea:
why?

Why, indeed. Why not?

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[purrplebear]

Thank you so much, Joe. I was really wondering about the lint. hehehe. I love your explanation! Oh, and it wasn't quite behind the faucet, it was next to it, behind my ceramic box(it holds hair stuff). But, you put me on the right track, so thank you very much.

------------------
You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life.
L.L.

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by purplebear:
Thank you so much, Joe. I was really wondering about the lint. hehehe. I love your explanation! Oh, and it wasn't quite behind the faucet, it was next to it, behind my ceramic box(it holds hair stuff). But, you put me on the right track, so thank you very much.

Glad to be of service!

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[purrplebear]

[quote]Originally posted by Joe_Cool:
[b] Excellent question!
Next question? [quote]

Hey! No fair!! Everyone else got an answer to their question! Whassa matta, too hard for ya?


Okay, 'nother one for you. Where did my amethyst earring get to?



------------------
You sing in my consciousness like a counterpoint to my life.
L.L.

[meek]

EXACT value of pi please.

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Well, you "don't need no education".

Just another brick in the wall....

------------------
You should tell the truth, expose the lies and live in the moment."-Bill Hicks
"You should tell the lies, live the truth and expose yourself." - Bill Clinton

[Persephone]

Why did they stop making Graham Chex? Those things were good.

Did the Coyote ever catch & eat the Road Runner?

Cage match: Elmo or Blue?

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This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea.
"I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday."

[Joe_Cool]

Originally posted by Cristi:
Why did they stop making Graham Chex? Those things were good.

Did the Coyote ever catch & eat the Road Runner?

Cage match: Elmo or Blue?

They stopped making those because I didn't like 'em! haha

Yes, the coyote did catch the roadrunner once, and he felt bad and couldn't eat him. So he let him go. What a loser. I always wanted somebody to kill that stupid bird. And the tweety bird too. I hate those things.

Blue? the color? I think elmo would lose because he'd use up all his energy trying to fight a trancendental concept such as "blue" which doesn't really exist except in our perceptions. And he'd die of exhaustion.

Or is there a muppet named blue? If so, the winner would be whoever has less "gratuitous cuteness".

------------------
There is one safeguard known generally to the wise, which is an advantage and security to all,
but especially to democracies as against despots. What is it? Distrust.
-- Demosthenes
-----
Joe Cool

[Persephone]

Joe: Blue is the puppy from Blue's Clues, a pre-k show on Nickelodeon. As for gratuitous cuteness, I'd call them equal. My three year old daughter likes them both equally well.

Thanks for the answers to the other two, though! And how much to talk you in to getting Graham Chex back on the market? They really are good.



------------------
This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea.
"I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday."