Depression...does it go away by itself?

[StGermain]

I've been suffering this stupid depression for over a year now, since my father entered the last stages of lung cancer and died. Then followed a whole year of various and depressing shit, colminating with me having to put my 15 year old dog to sleep three weeks ago. I haven't asked for any meds to get through this, thinking it would just going away eventually, but it hasn't. Will it?

StG

[ChrisCTP]

I'm not a psychiatrist.

That said, if you've been depressed for this long, you might consider seeing a counselor. You may not necessarily need meds, but the opportunity to just spout off about all the things that have been depressing you (even the small things that really shouldn't) might be helpful. A psychiatrist will, at the very least, be able to suggest anger- and stress-management techniques, and help you find ways to cope with your depression.

I wish you well.

------------------
My Excruciatingly Commonplace Homepage: FireMoon

[Just_A_Girl_26]

I am not a psychiatrist either. I am just speaking from personal experience. I was severely depressed for about 4 years. Like you, it had alot to do with personal experiences that I was going through. I agree with the previous post. It may help just to talk to a counselor. It really helped me.

Although I did take meds for part of that time, I did not stay on them. Personally, they did not help me that much. On the other hand, they helped one of my friends tremendously. All anti depressants are not the same. Different ones work for different people.

In my case, it did not go away by itself. I needed some help. The thing that helped me most was seeing a counselor. I need someone to talk to that I didn't know and that didn't already have an opinion. I could not talk to my family or friends, because I did not feel comfortable with that.

IMHO, I think you should talk to a counselor. If you are really against any kind of drugs, tell them up front. A good counselor will work with you and try to help you.

I hope that I have help just a little bit. Although I do not know exactly what you are going through, I do understand some of the feelings that you are having.

[Ringo]

Grief, and the associated depression, are normal experiences for up to ~ two months. If you've experienced a string of grief inducing situations, I suppose you could have a year long time in the pit that is really still within the normal experience. But I'd think a visit with a mental health professional could hardly hurt.

If you're experiencing a true clinical depression - and a year is enough time to consider that a possibility - it is probably time to consider a consultation. Be aware there's a lot to be considered when consulting a psychologist or psychiatrist. I've been there and it's long gone, and do I think the treatment (single most important part was a few months on a mood elevator) was significant to its passing.

Would it have gone away on its own? I can't answer that. I have a friend whose refused any treatment or counseling and has been depressed for 30 years now. I can't imagine getting myself to that spot at all, now, but I was there once and I went to a shrink and found my way out. The most significant SO of my life (manny, manny years) was depressed and it killed our relationship (finally, after a long, slow crawl through the desert). She's been in therapy for about two years now and is starting to have a bit of life to her again (and I'll add that her life included a series of real life tragedies that would stun anyone).

Good luck, my friend!

[CalifBoomer]

I have a suggestion, based on personal experience. Without going into a long story, the bottom line is:

1) DLPA (DL-Phenylalanine) from the health food store. It does the same thing as prozac, (fills brain receptors) etc., without any side effects.

2) Cognitive Therapy for Depression. All good shrinks know about this. Once they have you started in the right direction, you can continue on your own.

[b]Both[/i] of these are equally important.
:

[StGermain]

Well, I'm pretty aware of the underlying issues. Not just grief but self-esteem and anger issues, as well. My mother ripped my heart out on my birthday. The man I wanted to love me told me he didn't, and fell for someone as opposite from me as possible. My boss retired and my new boss is a spineless jerk. The list goes on.

And as for symptoms, I have lack of concentration (I left my van open and running for three hours when I went to see The Green Mile}. No energy, wanting to sleep all the time. Lots of thoughts of death (although not many about suicide, fortunately, just how nice a quick aneurism would be). I've had to convert all my bills to automatic withdrawl because I wasn't able to remember to pay them. And I'm tired of it. Not tired of it enough to kill myself, I'm too Catholic for that, I suppose, but tired all the time.

[bedboy4]

You obviously sound like a well-rounded individual..don't be popping all that herbal shit and psycho drugs... its not what you need..don't listen to these guys... what you need is someone to talk to..someone to open up to..you sound like someone who's emotions and fears are bottled up inside and all you need is to share it with other...so fuck that herbal crap and drugs.. if you have to , talk to the people here..some of them are actually cool, when you get past their dementias ... just shoot the shit man..hang in there

[Ringo]

StG, dear,

that all sounds very familiar, both from my own experiences and from watching some close to me.

There is a way out. I'll be the first to say I am not a mental health pro, but it sure sounds to me like you're experiencing depression. It's whippable, dear. And life is so much better without it. Time for a consultation with a pro, methinks. Please do. And let me know how things are developing.

[Catrandom]

With all due respect, bedboy, I think that posting messages on a board, even a board as fabulous as the SDMB, isn't the answer to clinical depression -- and that's what it sounds like StGermain is dealing with.

Whether to take psych drugs or not will always be up to you; no responsible therapist will try to push them on you. But it's time to seek professional help. There are lots of options besides drugs, and drugs really do help many people. I hope things start to get better for you soon.

Catrandom

[ChrisCTP]

StGermain, your description of yourself reminds me very strongly of my husband, whom I suspect is a manic depressive.

I don't want to go into any details about him, because as I said earlier, I'm not a psychiatrist, but...well, just please seek counseling.

Best of luck to you.

------------------
My Excruciatingly Commonplace Homepage: FireMoon

[Silo]

1) DLPA (DL-Phenylalanine) from the health food store. It does the same thing as prozac, (fills brain receptors) etc., without any side effects.

Sorry man it does not do the same thing as Prozac.

I was really depressed a few years ago. I had severe depression to the point where I would sleep all day and think about suicide. I was in and out of institutions. I, in a 2 year period, was on 14 different medications for depression. It was like being in hell. But one day I just stopped the meds and I have been depression free for over 2 years. I have come a looong way in that time. So you ask, "does it go away?" --well it did for me, but everyone is different. Some people have reoccuring depression in which the depression comes and goes in cycles. Then some people have one instance with depression and thats it --gone.

Depression really sucks, and I hope you get better. Hugs=happy


------------------
If at first you don't succeed you're about average.

[techchick68]

As a depressive, my suggestion to you is to discuss this with your regular doctor.

He/she may be able to ask the right questions to get you the treatment you need.

Depression is not something to mess with. It, almost all the time, becomes a chemical issue with the brain.

Since you have had these symptoms for over a year, it is very important that you at least talk to your regular doctor about it. This not only helps you in seeking out the correct treatment, he/she will also have that history of treatment for future use.

I will be seeing a doctor this week for the same thing, so don't feel alone

[Persephone]

Not much to add here, but I will back up the other posters in saying get to a doctor.

You may need drugs, you may not. You might need drugs for just a short while, like my husband. He took meds for a while, got the worst of the depression under control, went in to counseling, and after about a year, got off the drugs and the therapy.

Every person is different. But a depression lasting a year definitely needs some sort of medical attention.

Best of luck to you!

------------------
This is my new sig. Thank Wally. It was his idea.
"I made my husband join a bridge club. He jumps next Tuesday."

[Alpine]

StG - another voice for getting some help. I think the hard part for me was admitting that I actually had a problem; that it wasn't just that I, as a person, was unmotivated and down. What I felt seemed so minor compared to "major depression".

However, the difference more than a year later is amazing. It's just easier to accomplish things, and for everything I accomplish, I feel better. For me, it took some therapy, quitting a frustrating job with an unhealthy boss, regular exercise (lifting weights has been key for me), and St John's Wort. I can push past the lack of motivation much more easily, and the times that I do feel down are now very distinct (PMS), instead of blending into a general malaise and tiredness.

Stressing again, that each person is DIFFERENT. What works for one may not work for another. I also think that the grieving process (for me, PTSD), can exacerbate tendencies, and highlight issues, that already exist. This is a chance for you to work on them, if this is true for you as well (which I'm not saying it is).

I'm very sorry to hear about your dad and your dog.

------------------
Cogita tute

[Sterra]

For me i was depressed for about 2 years. Then i stopped being depressed. (god helped me through my depression) because before i was agonistic

[Babar714]

I have been medicated for a few years now, and it has changed my life around. But my sort of depression is chemical, yours is situational. I should think it will go away eventually, or at least you will conquer it. If this isn't the case, Chris is right, a counselor may be a good idea. I, too, wish you well.

[phouka]

StG, I know where you've been, and just so you know, you've done a fantastic job of handling it so far. By the time I got my last bout of depression under control, my inability to take care of financial matters pretty much trashed my credit record.

To answer your questions: as a well read layperson, it sounds to me like you have clinical depression - unipolar depression. From experience, I can tell you that depression sometimes does just "go away". I had a bout in college that lasted a couple of months and then one day just disappeared.

However, after a year, I'd say that it's relatively unlikely for it to just get better on its own. And since there's no rhyme or reason for that happening anyways, don't wait for it.

If you have a good doctor, go see him/her. My doctor was the first person I went to. She talked to me for the better part of an hour and then prescribed a low dosage of Prozac and recommended a counselor. The combination of therapies did the trick, and I began recovering within a month. The Prozac stablized my mood so that I could catch up with everything in my head. The counseling gave me a chance to take it out of my head and examine it a lot more objectively. In the space of a few months, I figured out more stuff than I had in the previous five years.

If you don't have a doctor or can't afford one, go to a counselor anyways. The Cognitive Therapy can go a long way towards helping just on its own.

Look at St. John's Wort. It's not a panacea, and you do have to do some research to find a good brand and dosage, but it can help as well.

Finally, here's a link to a book that helped me a great deal. It's posted in its entirety, so you can read the whole thing:

Peter McWilliams' How to Heal Depression

You've held it together on your own StG and done a great job, but just because you haven't beaten it on your own, don't give up hope.

[SwimmingRiddles]

Chalk me up to the medicated minions. I tend to fall into depressions quite a lot, the smallest situational thing will set it off. During these periods, I am forgetful, slow, my sleep is compromised, and I usually lose weight because my appetite disappears. However, I've found that getting away from my situation does my head more good than anything else. Can you take a three day weekend and go somewhere? Doesn't have to be far, I'm three hours from Montreal, and that always makes me feel sane again. Removing yourself from your situation gives you time to sort out your head, and allows you to return rested. And baby yourself. Buy comfort food, rent movies that make you happy, listen to stupid pop music. (I've found it hard to not be pepped up a bit by ABBA. Shut up, all of you.) If you have sick days, take them. Consider them mental health days. Treat yourself as if you're coming off pnemonia. If you think you deserve this depression, it will continue. If you think you deserve to be happy, do things that made you happy before.

Ditto on the doctor nod, you can go to your primary and ask for a referral to a good shrink.

It sounds like you've recieved quite the beating this year, metephorically. Now ask yourself: if this was a physical beating, rather than an emotional one, would I have sought medical help? Of course. So treat mental health as you would physical. Good luck. It will get better, but you might need to help it a little. Keep us informed.

[SmoothOperator]

I'd like to include my voice in encouraging you to talk to a professional about your depression. Some types of depression may go away on its own or not. Everyone is different. But try some kind of counselor at least. Discuss your thoughts about being on meds. You will find someone who can help. Just remember that there are many people that are or have been depressed, so you're not alone. Hope this helps. Good luck.

[StGermain]

Thanks for the replies. I'm much more open to the idea of meds than I am therapy, for whatever reason. If I can fel better with a pill, why not? However, I'm a life-long doctor phobic (I'm sure they're very nice people and all, but I'd just rather not have to be around them) and went to the doctor for the first time in over 25 years just recently. It was surprisingly unscary, and I have a followup visit scheduled for 10 days from now. I thought I might ask her then about an anti-depressant. It just feels like that would be...taking the easy way out, somehow. As if I should be able to get beyond this myself. I did try St. John's wort for a short time, but I experienced terrible stomache aches. I'm not sure the two were related, but I stopped taking it.

Anyway, thanks for the encouragement. It's nice to know I'm not alone.

StG

[StGermain]

FOLLOWUP - I saw my doctor today, and she gave me a month's worth of samples of Effoxor, along with a prescription for it if it seems to be working. We'll see if my foray into medicated happiness works. Wish me luck.

StG

[Zyada]

StG -

While I'm glad that you have received some medication to help with your depression, I want to encourage you to seek some therapy. Anti-depressants will only help you as long as you are taking them, and they will have side effects (just ask OpalCat).

Therapy, otoh, will help you long after the therapy ends. Think of therapy as life-coaching. The therapist works with you to determine what you do that is hindering your ability to live life fully, then teaches you more effective methods of living.

At the very least, get "Feeling Good, the New Mood Therapy" by David Burns. This method has the same success rate as medication, but has a much lower relapse rate.

[rant]
Most internists will NOT recommend therapy for depressed patients. They hear "depression", say "Oh, this pill will fix that" and go on. Despite the fact that most depression is a learned behavior that needs to be corrected with re-learning.
[/rant]

Zyada (B.A. Psychology) (who is starting to sound like a broken record)

[StGermain]

Zyada - my company offers free and confidential counseling, but I haven't had the guts to call. I keep figuring I can beat this on my own.

StG

[abderian]

StGermain:

I gotta echo Zyada, who said:

Therapy, otoh, will help you long after the therapy ends. Think of therapy as life-coaching. The therapist works with you to determine what you do that is hindering
your ability to live life fully, then teaches you more effective methods of living.

Very true. The traditional ongoing "war" between psychologists and psychiatrists was that psychologists pushed counselling and 'talk' therapy while psychiatrists supported chemical/medical therapy.

The newest research shows that the most effective treatment for depression, by far, is a combination of the two. If you are taking medication, you are only taking advantage of HALF the best treatment.

Don't fall for old-school one-sided opinions---invest the effort into what's been proven to work, and get thee to a therapist.

[dragonlady]

St G
I'm glad to see you saw a DR. I went through a similar sounding depression and meds made all the difference. I tried several different meds, Effexor made me amnesiac(?)meaning I forgot what I was doing when I took it, although I seemed fine to others, I didn't even remember being concious! So it might be a good idea to have someone close to you keep an eye on you for a day or two. Actually always a good idea when on psych meds. Email me if I can offer you ANY comfort or advice or ANYTHING. I FEEL FOR YOUR SITUATION----you are NOT alone!!!

[Lux Fiat]

St. G-
For the most part, "What they said."

I know exactly what you mean about feeling like you should be able to get through it yourself. C'mon, it's just a funk, if you really apply yourself, you can work your way out of it! Maybe. For me, that was certainly not the case. I did the one-two meds+therapy thing, and it did help. I had good days and bad days on the Prozac, but that was a giant step up from nothing but bad days. I still remember a spring day I managed to wake up, get out of bed, shower, and get to class feeling awake and generally okay with the world. I had forgotten what it was like.

So good on ya for talking about it with your doctor and getting some meds to try out. I'll echo the recommendations for therapy as well, as it really does complement psychologically what the meds do chemically. Finally, I can't concur enough with SwimmingRiddles' suggestion of a change of scenery. It can really help to break out of the rut for a few days. Hell, just showering and putting fresh sheets on my bed right before I went to sleep often did wonders for me. Every little thing, you know?

Good luck.

------------------
"Are you frightened of snakes?"
"Only when they dress like werewolves."
-Preacher

[Sentinel]

StGermain

Effexor is a good, well tested antidepressant. All antiD's have various side affects, so watch for them. Most antiD's take anywhere from 5 to 14 days to really kick in and start correcting the depression, so don't be upset if it seems like they don't work at first.

Some side effects like, dry mouth, light headedness, sleepiness, loss of appetite can be transient, but keep in touch with your doctor if anything odd shows up. Some will produce an occasional irregular heart beat or palpation's (the heart will seem to pause and you get a 'turning over' sensation in your chest) and that might pass within a few days.

You sound like you have moderate depression, which is curable. If your medication makes you feel like a zombie, call the doctor. He may adjust your dosage or change you to another form. Many antiD's cause weird dreams when you sleep, so don't be too alarmed if they happen.

All of your symptoms previously described are those of depression, especially the 'forgetfulness' and lack of energy. You might find that you'll sleep a lot. I also suggest therapy combined with the medication.

DON'T drink with the pills unless you check with your doctor first. Booze is a depressant anyhow, though it can make you feel better for a time. Plus, often it interacts poorly with the medication.

Just hang in there. It will get better. There are clinics around in most cities for psychotherapy which will charge you on a sliding scale if you don't have insurance to cover it. Some places charge you like $10.00 for an hours therapy, which would normally run $100. The rule of thumb is usually 10% of the total cost.

You are not alone. Plus, there are many depression websites on the Internet, like the Depression Hotline, to go to and see how others cope and get suggestions from them.

I do suggest that you find books, television programs and movies to watch that are funny. That helps a lot. Don't be alarmed if you try to sleep only to discover that while the body is tired, the mind will not shut off. That might happen from time to time. Just turn on a TV or radio and listen to it as you lay there with your eyes shut. Often, one will drift off to sleep, and sometimes if not, you may 'spot sleep' which is dozing lightly for 10 or 15 minutes at a time. Also often, just laying there, eyes shut, for a few hours can make you feel refreshed.

DON'T take over the counter or old prescription sleeping medication unless cleared by your doctor while on antiD's.

Just remember, you will get better.


------------------
CAREFUL! We don't want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

[StGermain]

Sentinal - I have little patience for TV or books these days. I used to read about 5 books a week, but with the depression, nothing is holds my interest. The sames goes ith fatigue. I'm already tired a lot of the time. The doctor said the Effexor should help with that, too. (It would be nice if my house were even moderately clean again) I don't ever drink, so that's not a problem. However, sometimes I take melatonin when I can't sleep...do you think I should check on that?

Lux Fiat - Yep. I decided that I deserved to be depressed at first. After all, my father had died. But when it didn't go away eventually, I sort of lost hope. And because of the depression it's hard to even work up the will to ask for help. Or pay your bills. Or do the dishes. Or anything else you can manage without. I have ridden my horse maybe 4 times in the last year. He's an expensive and high-maintence pet. So I'm trying. We'll see how it works.

dragonlady - Thanks for the tips. And the support.

StG
Better living through chemistry

[handy]

A year for that kind of event is okay. Sometimes its much longer. Eventually it should lift if you want it to.

Find a support group, it can speed things up.

[Sentinel]

melatonin
That's a vitamin or herb, right? If so, it shouldn't hurt but it might be best to check anyhow. Some herbals will react with antiD's. Don't take St. Johns Wort with Effexor either -- though many might tell you to do so.

Since you are still working, sleep is kind of important. Most depressives that I know of who are still able to work and have sleep problems nap whenever they can. The most common complaint is that they get tired, eyes get heavy and they WANT to sleep but the brain refuses to shut off. That's why I said just laying there with heavy eyes closed, listening to soft television or music can help. SOME depressives tend to start getting worried when they lay there, unable to sleep and too tired to get up, so the television and music is a nice distraction. TV especially, if in the bedroom, because when you get tired of trying to sleep, and the eyes are no longer heavy, you roll over and just watch anything. Often, that will put you to sleep. If not, it keeps you from worrying about how long you've been awake.

Effexor, like I said, takes a few days to really start working. IF you start getting some anxiety that lasts over a day or two, let the Doc know. Be alert also for some changes like food tasting perhaps a bit odd, or you might suddenly start smelling scents you never noticed before. Those should be transitory and not last. Some mild side effects might remain, and one gets used to them or if they are annoying, then the medication can be changed or something added to it. Basically though, Effexor is a good, basic antiD.

Email me with any strange affects or reactions that confuse you.

------------------
CAREFUL! We don't want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

[Sentinel]

melatonin
That's a vitamin or herb, right? If so, it shouldn't hurt but it might be best to check anyhow. Some herbals will react with antiD's. Don't take St. Johns Wort with Effexor either -- though many might tell you to do so.

Since you are still working, sleep is kind of important. Most depressives that I know of who are still able to work and have sleep problems nap whenever they can. The most common complaint is that they get tired, eyes get heavy and they WANT to sleep but the brain refuses to shut off. That's why I said just laying there with heavy eyes closed, listening to soft television or music can help. SOME depressives tend to start getting worried when they lay there, unable to sleep and too tired to get up, so the television and music is a nice distraction. TV especially, if in the bedroom, because when you get tired of trying to sleep, and the eyes are no longer heavy, you roll over and just watch anything. Often, that will put you to sleep. If not, it keeps you from worrying about how long you've been awake.

Effexor, like I said, takes a few days to really start working. IF you start getting some anxiety that lasts over a day or two, let the Doc know. Be alert also for some changes like food tasting perhaps a bit odd, or you might suddenly start smelling scents you never noticed before. Those should be transitory and not last. Some mild side effects might remain, and one gets used to them or if they are annoying, then the medication can be changed or something added to it. Basically though, Effexor is a good, basic antiD.

Email me with any strange affects or reactions that confuse you.

------------------
CAREFUL! We don't want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

[Sentinel]

melatonin
That's a vitamin or herb, right? If so, it shouldn't hurt but it might be best to check anyhow. Some herbals will react with antiD's. Don't take St. Johns Wort with Effexor either -- though many might tell you to do so.

Since you are still working, sleep is kind of important. Most depressives that I know of who are still able to work and have sleep problems nap whenever they can. The most common complaint is that they get tired, eyes get heavy and they WANT to sleep but the brain refuses to shut off. That's why I said just laying there with heavy eyes closed, listening to soft television or music can help. SOME depressives tend to start getting worried when they lay there, unable to sleep and too tired to get up, so the television and music is a nice distraction. TV especially, if in the bedroom, because when you get tired of trying to sleep, and the eyes are no longer heavy, you roll over and just watch anything. Often, that will put you to sleep. If not, it keeps you from worrying about how long you've been awake.

Effexor, like I said, takes a few days to really start working. IF you start getting some anxiety that lasts over a day or two, let the Doc know. Be alert also for some changes like food tasting perhaps a bit odd, or you might suddenly start smelling scents you never noticed before. Those should be transitory and not last. Some mild side effects might remain, and one gets used to them or if they are annoying, then the medication can be changed or something added to it. Basically though, Effexor is a good, basic antiD.

Email me with any strange affects or reactions that confuse you.

------------------
CAREFUL! We don't want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)

[D Marie]

A support group might be a way for you to sort of ease into the whole "therapy" realm.

My father died very suddenly, and I didn't seem to feel the full impact, depression- and grief-wise, until as much as a year or a year and a half later. I was, of course, sad the whole time, but I hit bottom in sort of a delayed fashion.

My mother encouraged me to see a therapist, and I did for a short time. I found it very awkward to talk about myself at first, and it was hard to see any relationship between the conversations I had with the therapist and my feelings the rest of the time.

I took St. John's Wort for about six months at the therapist's suggestion, and it seemed to help.

In the end, my depression lifted. I stopped going to the therapist after maybe eight or ten visits, but I think the therapy sort of clarified some personal issues in my mind. It's been just over five years now since my dad died, and I feel like I worked through it in a relatively healthy way.

My mom, on the other hand, never took her own advice, and never saw a therapist, talked to even a support group, or anything. She seems kind of stuck and unable to completely deal with the loss of my dad.

Best wishes to you, St. G. Do as everyone here has suggested and make sure to take care of yourself. Know that you aren't alone by a long shot and that it can get better.

[Sentinel]

melatonin
That's a vitamin or herb, right? If so, it shouldn't hurt but it might be best to check anyhow. Some herbals will react with antiD's. Don't take St. Johns Wort with Effexor either -- though many might tell you to do so.

Since you are still working, sleep is kind of important. Most depressives that I know of who are still able to work and have sleep problems nap whenever they can. The most common complaint is that they get tired, eyes get heavy and they WANT to sleep but the brain refuses to shut off. That's why I said just laying there with heavy eyes closed, listening to soft television or music can help. SOME depressives tend to start getting worried when they lay there, unable to sleep and too tired to get up, so the television and music is a nice distraction. TV especially, if in the bedroom, because when you get tired of trying to sleep, and the eyes are no longer heavy, you roll over and just watch anything. Often, that will put you to sleep. If not, it keeps you from worrying about how long you've been awake.

Effexor, like I said, takes a few days to really start working. IF you start getting some anxiety that lasts over a day or two, let the Doc know. Be alert also for some changes like food tasting perhaps a bit odd, or you might suddenly start smelling scents you never noticed before. Those should be transitory and not last. Some mild side effects might remain, and one gets used to them or if they are annoying, then the medication can be changed or something added to it. Basically though, Effexor is a good, basic antiD.

Email me if any strange affects or reactions happen that confuse you.

------------------
CAREFUL! We don't want to learn from this!(Calvin and Hobbs)