Worst Movie Ever . . . Part Two

Arrgggg! It's the sequel! ::giggle::

Have fun!

-Melin
Board-Goddess-In-Training

One violent and a few minor disagreements:

Bladerunner -- it is hard to believe that this movie, on my 20 best list, would make it onto somebody else's worst, but I guess that shows how different people are.

Showgirls, Starship Troopers, Natural Born Killers, The Net, The Rock, were all undistinguished movies, but not stunningly bad (Natural Born Killers is worth watching with your eyes closed for the sound track -- Leonard Cohen!).

And now for the worst ever <drumroll>

Plenty

which must be Meryl Streep worst role ever!

Tarzan with Bo Derek - "I wonder if he's a virgin like me."

Any of the Alan Quartermain movies.

Sheena, Queen of the Jungle.

Bad as they are, they're actually kind of enjoyable to watch. They don't take themselves too seriously.

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"Knowing others is wisdom. Knowing yourself is enlightenment." - Lao-tzu, Chinese philosopher

Lost in space is one of those horrible movies I'd like to forget... That little whiny girl was so annoying, and everything else about it sucked too. Manos, The Hands Of Fate is certainly one of the worst movies made, does anyone have the MST3K copy? I remember seeing it, but I didn't tape it

SanibelMan

The MST3K version Manos is out on video. Support "Best Brains" by going out and buying it. If you can't find it at your local video store, try Rhino. They distribute it.

I cannot believe no one has mentioned Cabin Boy! The absolute worst movie ever made bar none.
Other runner ups:
Billy Jack (walked out of this one--so stupid)
Legends of the Fall (long commercial for Brad Pitt--BORING--the scene where he made love to this woman on board a ship was so excrutiatingly stupid I almost barfed)
Ace Ventura II--my daughter made me turn this one off less than 15 minutes after we started the video. Boy, what a stupid movie.
I forget the name of the last one but it was a movie about female gunslingers with Leonardo di Caprio. A friend and I went and spent the entire time laughing at the darn thing. It is probably a cult classic by now--the way they filmed the shooting scenes reminded me of Get Smart for some stupid reason. Get Smart was better!

you mean "the quick and the dead" it also showcases Sharon Stone in a non-nude performance... we can see where her acting skills gets her!

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

GOOD WILL HUNTING BLEW the crap out of my anus.
I am so sorry for that disgusting association, but that movie was god-awful. Formulaic, predictable, dick-flick. And I saw it in New York at a press (emphasis on the JUNK)-et. My friend and I were alternately dying of laughter at the preposterousness of the movie, and moaning for it to end.

"I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather - not screaming in terror like the passengers in his car"

There is this movie called "Just one of the guys" about this girl who dresses up like a boy to win a journalism contest. I actually saw this movie on HBO at least ten years ago and thought it was a stinker then. I was reminded of it when they were showing it on HBO again today, and it's still stupid.

"Cabin Boy" was on basic cable yesterday. I watched it for a grand total of five minutes before I turned it off.

They had a special today on A&E about the director Ed Wood, and they were showing scenes from that movie "Plan 9 from Outer Space." That movie looks just as bad as everybody says it is.

Shadowfox

So good to know that my first little thread has reached more than 100 posts. *wipes tear*

Did any see Wing Commander? There was no meaning! If the space battles had been half as good as the Star Wars battles that might have saved it, but that was a no-go. Oh, and the ending was pointless! Chris Roberts should stick to making computer games. Those were actually really good.

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"War doesn't determine who's right. War determines who's left."

just for the record...you should've called this thread "Worst Movie Ever...Part Two ELECTRIC BOOGALOO"!

Worst movie ever; "Eating" An incredibly bad movie about spoiled rotten rich women who can't eat without feeling guilty.

Second worst movie; "The Ice Pirates" with Robert Urich and (Somebody?) Crosby (the chick who shot JR). A bad Star Wars+Indiana Jones rip-off.

I have changed my mind on the worst movie ever. Plan 9 is truely as bad as everyone says, but I have found one worse.

Comidy Central has been showing Hairspray a lot recently, and it's bad enough, but for some reason, my wife loves it. When Divine has two roles, it's twice as bad! So, on a lark, I rented another Divine movie.....

Pink Flamingos

This has to be the most gawd-awful piece of crap ever saved on celuloid. Acting worse than that of the average porn flick. Divine takes a crap in someones yard on camera. Two people screw (I can't even imagine calling it "making love") with a live chicken between them. And that's just in the first half of the movie. I couldn't take it any more. Even MSTing it couldn't help. There is some kind of plot (I think) revolving around Divine being named the dirtiest person in the world, and this baby-selling couple trying to beat him/her for the title.

BTW, Man In The Iron Mask anoied the snot out of me. 4 main good characters, 4 different accents, 1 french. One of the worst directed major pictures I remember seeing.

And H.O.T.S. - typical late 70s / early 80s R-rated sex flick, staring Danny Bonneduci. Took place at a college, where these four girls set up their own kind of sorrority. I remember hearing Danny talk about that movie on a talk show. The money man behind the movie thought that a "name" like his would add instant credability to the picture!

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"The large print givith, and the small print taketh away."
Tom Waites, "Step Right Up"

Has anyone else out there seen the barf-0- rama fest in the Bo Derek flick called, " Ghosts can't do it?" If she wasn't married to John Derek, she'd be doing porn,

What about that awful remake of 'The Island of Dr. Moreau"? I shudder just thinking about it!!

Anyone seen "Raising Cain"??? Hands down the worst movie of all time...

Vogue, I've actually seen "Electric Boogaloo". Aargh! What a memory. It reminds me of the Grand PooBah of Stupid Movies that everyone went to for my 13th birthay party: "Rollerskating, USA" or some drivel equivalent to that. Horrible!!!!!

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...it has never been my way to bother much about things which you can't cure.
- A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court-Mark Twain

The Pirate Movie.
nuff said.

ARRGH! The Pirate Movie! My god what a waste of film! I now dispise you for making me remember that (and I saw it in the theaters).

I have a few more to add:

Roman Holiday - I know it's a classic, but, by god, the movie is about absolutely nothing and it took too long to say it.

Joy Sticks - teen sex romp arcade film

Savannah Smiles - a movie about kidnappers who kidnap a cute l;ittle blonde girl, and they fall in love with her and return her for free <retch>

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

Legends of the Fall (long commercial for Brad Pitt--BORING--the scene where he
made love to this woman on board a ship was so excrutiatingly stupid I almost barfed)

Thanks for reminding me. (Or should I say, curse you for reminding me!) What I thought was ironic was that here's a movie that's obviously supposed to appeal to women (it's a big, sweeping epic romance with a long-haired, shirtless Brad Pitt). And yet, virtually every female character in the film dies a horrible death by the end. It got to the point where I was saying to myself, "Here's another romantic partner for one of the brothers. I wonder how she's gonna die....... Ah. Accidently killed by a stray bullet. How creative."

I didn't see it, but my wife says Meet Joe Black was the worst movie she's ever seen. I guess Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins have some kind of anti-chemistry together.

ANY rollerskating movie ever made...hey did anyone see the original Island of Dr, Moreau ( the one with Micheal York) I was a little kid, but it scared the hell outta me....

now here is a stumper for you movie trivia buffs...
BAD RONALD...can anyone tell me about it?

The prize has to go to Eraserhead, directed by David Lynch; there is no plot, very little dialogue, the thing is shot all in b/w, there is no rhyme or reason to the story and most of the soundtrack is a really annoying chainsaw-type droning. Or maybe I just didn't get it.

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It only hurts when I laugh.

but moon, you have to admit the dream where they drilled out part of his head to use as an eraser was kind of cool.

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To deal with men by force is as impractical as to deal with nature by persuasion.

Really...how about ANY wrestling movie (Hulk Hogan made a few) and there was also this on called Black Eagle ( I think ) it starred Sho Kosugi who came from the Ninja movie fame..ouch exceedingly bad. Come to think of it I seem to remeber seeing that one at the drive in along with a Hulk Hogan movie...and yes I stayed to the end my date was a hotty!

What about "Mario Brothers"? I saw somewhere Dennis Hopper saying his son asked him why he would be in a movie like that. Hopper replied it was so he could get money to buy his son shoes and stuff. His son looked at him and said he didn't need shoes that badly.

OK...

Broken Arrow

It's one of the few movies I have never finished.

1) The dialog is AWFUL. It sounds as if the actors are reading off of cue cards

2) The scenery, special effects are so bogus its rediculus. When they are searching through the desert looking for the missle, the lighting is so bad it just LOOKS indoors, the scenes look as though they are changed by moving the same 5 rocks around the stage.

3) It wasn't that exciting. I don't see who anyone can get lost in a movie so unbelievable. There are lots of great action movies out there. They are ALL better than Broken Arrow

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Jason R Remy

"And it could be safely said that at that moment, in the whole of India, no one, absolutely no one, was f^(king a goat."
-- John Irving A Son of the Circus (1994)

Sorry if I repeat any that were mentioned, but, here is my list:

Batman and Robin
Godzilla
Anaconda

Those ones may be a given. But I also wanted to scream in disgust after watching:
"Leaving Las Vegas," and "Sling Blade."

Adam

Actually, the worst movie of the 20th century is now in pre-production.
They are re-making DOC SAVAGE-THE MOVIE.

With AAAHHHNOLD!

Those ones may be a given. But I also wanted to scream in disgust after watching:
"Leaving Las Vegas," and "Sling Blade."

"Sling Blade"???? Are you bonkers? What was wrong with that movie?

Oh God, if anything deserves MST3K treatment it's DOC SAVAGE - THE MOVIE. My sister and I ripped that movie to shreds the time we saw it on afternoon TV.

"You're a brick, Mona." *ting*

The only movie I can think of that I wanted to walk out of was "Cool World".

Can't think of any other movies that are extremely bad (not much of a moviegoer, to be honest) but I hated films that promised to be steamy erotic sexfests and then showed a shirtless woman for about 15 seconds. Of course, I was 17 at the time.



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Cave Diem! Carpe Canem!

[dpr]

Worst:

Weekend at Bernies II (cringe moments from go to woe)

Showgirls (is it too much to ask for character development &/or consistency?)

Ace Ventura (My first look at Jim Carrey nearly turned me away from his pics for life)

Chain Reaction (?) (I think that's what it's called - the Van Damme one with Rodman in it. The bit where they shield themselves from an explosion with a coke vending machine on their backs could qualify as the stupidest scene of all time too)

Dumb and DUmber (walked out after 15 minutes. Dumb and the Dumbest)

The Repo Man (wierd Emilio Estevez flick I saw when I was quite young and will never see again)

And my friend and I were playing scissors, rock and paper during Broken Arrow.

And no-one's mentioned Highlander II or III but that's because we don't actually acknowledge their existence - there truly can be only one)


Disagreement:
Hudson Hawk is a great movie!!! Quirky and a little silly but great fun.

[salinqmind]

My nomination is not a movie title, but a category. This is something I have always been puzzled about. I am referring to the generic (censored for TV, I assume) soft porn stuff found on , for example, the USA network at midnight. Stuff like "Star Hops" and "Hot Dog: the Movie" , and any of an infinite number of movies featuring women in swimsuits displaying T and A, and men sitting there dribbling down the front of their shirts as if they had never, ever seen any women in swimsuits, and spending the rest of the movie trying to "get some". I don't understand who the audience of this stuff is, 12 year old boys ? Is it like "training porn" for them? Do grown men watch this stuff, when pornography is so available for them? I find it so degrading to both men and women. None of it is funny. It's not clever or campy. It's just....there.

[DoctorJ]

sex flick, staring Danny Bonneduci

Does anyone else find this concept frightening?

My vote is for "An Awfully Big Adventure", starring Alan Rickman and Hugh Grant. This was the movie which contained the line (imagined from a young girl in an Irish accent): "Ya know, I'm gettin' used ta fuckin'. It's kinda like playin' the ukelele. After a while you get the hang of it."

Dr. J

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"Seriously, baby, I can prescribe anything I want!" -Dr. Nick Riviera

[Road Rash]

Originally posted by smilingjaws:
I cannot believe no one has mentioned Cabin Boy! The absolute worst movie ever made bar none.
Other runner ups:
Billy Jack (walked out of this one--so stupid)
Legends of the Fall (long commercial for Brad Pitt--BORING--the scene where he made love to this woman on board a ship was so excrutiatingly stupid I almost barfed)
Ace Ventura II--my daughter made me turn this one off less than 15 minutes after we started the video. Boy, what a stupid movie.
I forget the name of the last one but it was a movie about female gunslingers with Leonardo di Caprio. A friend and I went and spent the entire time laughing at the darn thing. It is probably a cult classic by now--the way they filmed the shooting scenes reminded me of Get Smart for some stupid reason. Get Smart was better!

Billy Jack! Damn, it was dated before it was released. Hard to believe it was at one time one of the top 5 money making movies ever. Still, there was some good violent scenes. If I were in a fight with a bunch of rednecks, I would keep my boots on. Mad Magazine did an awsome parody of the movie.

[Mr. Cynical]

For the record, there's ONE reason to see Cabin Boy.

About ten or fifteen minutes into it, there's a cameo by David Letterman. It makes it well worth your 1.95 for rental.

[tracer]

Armageddon.

As one reviewer put it, "Throughout the movie, what you expect to happen does. Then it explodes."

&lt;plug&gt;
For sardonic reviews of this and many, many other bad movies, visit Bad Movie Night at http://www.hit-n-run.com .
&lt;/plug&gt;

[Typo Negative]

No, no no. The worst film of all time is
'The Pest' starring John Leguazamo (sp).
I considered walking out during the opening credits. Actually walked out 15 minutes later.

[SwimmingRiddles]

John Waters was doing what the Farrley brothers are doing now 20 years ago with a fat drag queen. I'm not saying I like his work (I've heard about Divine eating crap in Pink Flamingos...um...no thanks.) but the point is all the There's Something About Mary hub-ub is old news.

And are we talking MST3K movies? Because I had to watch the Hercules movies in LATIN class in high school after seeing them on MST3K. You just try to keep quiet when so many insults come to mind...

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A little persistance goes a long way. Announcing:

"I go on guilt trips a couple of time a year. Mom books them for me." A custom made Wally .sig!

[Ophelia]

Hanover Street with Harrison Ford and some british chick. Terrible. Bad acting, filming, directing, writing and story. I couldn't say about the music, but it certainly wasn't memorable, good or bad.

I have to speak up in defense of Leaving Las Vegas though. The performances were strong, the direction very effective, the characters well-drawn, the writing was original. So very very well done, regardless of how morally drowning or depressing it is.

But I digress...this is the "Worst Movies" thread...eek! Back on track, back on track...

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"I can never give a 'yes' of a 'no.' I don't believe everything in life can be settled by a monosyllable" *Betty Smith