More crashes than an air show—why?

[Eve]

I don't know much about the Internet, but does the SDMB crash more often than other sites? I mean, I understand that it's not the fault of our beloved moderators or Ed, etc. But why does the Board seem to slow down and then invariably crash at least twice a week? Is this normal?

[TubaDiva]

It's a combination of things.

The UBB software itself is not the most stable in the world and is crash-prone. This is especially true when it's heavily used, as is here at the Straight Dope.

The program was never meant to handle the large number of posts that it currently holds. We're in the process of archiving and weeding; this should help keep the system more stable, as it will have less to sort through and deal with.

BTW, when that happens, everybody's post count will doubtless go down. Can't be helped, folks, less posts in the system = smaller totals. And . . . we'll be deleting "count padding" posts in the future, as they do nothing but clog up the system. Please try to be more considerate of your friends here and refrain from this sort of thing.

We've also had traffic problems. Cyberspace has its traffic jams and bottlenecks, and there's any number of places between our server and your computer where bad things can happen. We can't do much about most of these things, but we ARE getting our own T1 line in a couple months and that will help.

In the meantime, we'll just have to muddle through. Sorry for your inconvenience. Remember that for your best results, keep your caches cleaned out.

your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
The Straight Dope

[Eve]

Yikes! I thought you were just gonna tell me "the hamster died."

[quadell]

Tuba said:

> And . . . we'll be deleting "count
> padding" posts in the future, as they do
> nothing but clog up the system.

What's a "count padding" post?

Your Quadell

[Ukulele Ike]

Oh, god..the temptation...almost too much...to resist...

A count-padding post, Q, is something that's cropped up since they started posting our post-counts in the lefthand margin.

Some of us seem to feel that more posts equals a better poster, so you'll see folks saying "I'm NOT just posting this to pad my post count!" and then a half-dozen other people will follow up with "Me neither!" and comments like that.

Generally done in a light-hearted manner, of course. {makes the "irony" sign with his fingers}

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Uke

[Arnold Winkelried]

Our own T1 line? Yowza! That's good news. Good job TubaDiva!

What's the irony sign? I don't know that one.

[pluto]

Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried:
What's the irony sign? I don't know that one.

You sign any O. Henry story in Ameslan. Purists will insist that the story has to be "The Ransom of Red Chief", but really, any story will do.

Eve, FWIW (which admittedly isn't much), I have a personal Conspiracy Theorist at this end who maintains passionately that the reason the Internet has gotten so much slower in the last month or so is because of all the streaming technology. He says the streaming tech manufacturers are stealing bandwidth or hyperspace or something from all the John Does who don't have it, so as to make the Internet impossibly slow, and then everybody will have to go out and buy their technology.

It makes about as much sense as anything else, I suppose.

Did you know that if you get the Internet through a cable, the CIA can log onto your computer whenever they want?

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"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" - the White Queen

[Irishman]

TubaDiva posted:

We're in the process of archiving and weeding; this should help keep the system more stable, as it will have less to sort through and deal with.

BTW, when that happens, everybody's post count will doubtless go down. Can't be helped, folks, less posts in the system = smaller totals. And . . . we'll be deleting "count padding" posts in the future, as they do nothing but clog up the system. Please try to be more considerate of your friends here and refrain from this sort of thing.

Say it ain't so! Reduced post counts - Waahhhh!

Seriously Tuba, I really think when this starts to happen there should be some sort of announcement on this. Certainly in MPSIMS, probably in all boards. Otherwise you will be flooded with questions, comments, and complaints about it. Stave off the hoards - tell them up front this is happening.

I know it's technically an ATMB thing, but come on, how many people check this board regularly - and frequently?

Of course you probably already figured all that out, but I'm padding my post count while I still can.

[Ukulele Ike]

Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried:
What's the irony sign? I don't know that one.

Hoo boy, you big Swiss Cheese, this goes back to late eighties Amerika.

When you're saying something "ironically," you hold up both hands and waggle the first two fingers of each, as if you're putting "quotation marks" around your "statement."



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Uke

[techchick68]

Okay, I can't believe I am going to ask this....as a network admin I get this question a lot.

Is there any estimation as to when MPSIMS will be back up?

I know that's a difficult question, but a guesstimate?

[Eve]

OK, it's lunchtime, MPSIMS has ground to a halt and everything else is slowing down—the ground is coming up towards us and the pilot is yelling PULL UP PULL UP!

This seems to be a daily thing now—there's gotta be something wrong; I don't have this trouble with any other Web site. Goodness knows, I'm not going to abandon the SDMB for Snopes—but this really is getting silly!

[Ursa Major]

Originally posted by Arnold Winkelried:
Thank you Ukulele Ike.

You are always so "helpful". I "love" you to pieces. (imagine fingers making vague waggling gestures in the air as I type this.)

Did I get it right?

No, no, no! That's the sarcasm hand gesture, Arnold. That kind of loose knuckled throwaway will just get you beat up in 1980s Amerika! For "irony", waggling is right out (sorry, Uke.). To do it right hold up two peace signs like Richard Nixon. Now, bend all four fingers simultaniously exactly twice. Two beats. Bump...bump. Timing is everything.

Now, put down that mouse and practice, practice, practice!

[John Corrado]

Thanks, Ursa. Now I have the image of Richard Nixon using the irony quotation marks stuck in my brain.


"We could do that, but it would be 'wrong'."

My day just got a little more surreal.

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JMCJ

Give to Radiskull!

[Eve]

Well, as pleasant as it is to contemplate Ike wiggling his fingers ironically, does anyone mind if I return to the OP? MPSIMS is down again and everything else has slowed, and I would REALLY like to add to a post . . . Is there something fatally wrong with the board? I hate to post this in Tuba's forum, it sounds like I'm ragging on HER . . .

[Arnold Winkelried]

Thank you Ukulele Ike.

You are always so "helpful". I "love" you to pieces. (imagine fingers making vague waggling gestures in the air as I type this.)

Did I get it right?

Well, hey, I was around during "late-eighties Amerika", and I didn't know what the "irony sign" was.

Around these here parts, we always just referred to it as "when you make those quotation marks in the air with your fingers around your statement."

With your fingers in the air around your statement.

With your fingers around your statement in the air.

An English teacher's nightmare.

In the air, with your fingers...

:::exit, muttering:::


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"Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast!" - the White Queen

[Eve]

It's midday, Friday, and the board is ominously slowing down again—no doubt headed for a late-lunchtime crash into some farmer's alfalfa field.

This is becoming a daily thing now, and REALLY has to be looked into by someone; a Web site should not crash and burn on a daily basis.

[Eve]

Aha! It wasn't RevervoirDog's overloading or Ike's cussing that's bringing the Board down—

BOULDER, Colo. (AP) - Government scientists detected a major solar flare Friday and warned that geomagnetic storms could disrupt communications and knock out electrical power.

—To quote Mrs. Antrobus, "I think it's sunspots!"

[TubaDiva]

It's okay, this is why I make the big money.

your humble TubaDiva
unfortunately, just kidding.

[coosa]

Wow, Tuba, you mean you got the coffee mug AND a T-shirt?

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You've got a point there, brother - and one of these days I'm going to figure out what it is. - Cecil Adams