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  #1  
Old 10-09-2003, 08:35 PM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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When you blush, your stomach lining also reddens.

Whiskey, Tango, Foxtrot???

I bought a box of Cracker Jacks today for my son. When he got half way through the box he came across "The Prize". It was a white piece of paper that read:

Jack's Funny Facts:
-------------------------

When you blush, your stomach lining also reddens.

And that was it. What the hell happened to Frito-Lay? Did they go broke? Did they start to offer Profit Sharing in the Cracker Jack prize division of Frito-Lay? How else do you justify going from already lame ass toys like the Compass With Stuck Needle, or Lick-On Tattoos to a small piece of paper with stupid facts printed on it?
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  #2  
Old 10-09-2003, 08:44 PM
UrbanChic UrbanChic is offline
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But, but, but...

How on earth, assuming it is tue, did they find that out???
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  #3  
Old 10-09-2003, 08:46 PM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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Re: But, but, but...

Quote:
Originally posted by JuanitaTech
How on earth, assuming it is tue, did they find that out???
Yeah.....now that ya mention it!?!?!?

Nevermind. I don't wanna know.
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  #4  
Old 10-09-2003, 08:47 PM
Ilsa_Lund Ilsa_Lund is offline
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A duck's quack doesn'y echo, and noone knows why!
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  #5  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:22 PM
Jello Jello is offline
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And when you're rejected, you feel like you were kicked in the stomach. Front page news.

http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmp...ience_snubs_dc
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  #6  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:24 PM
Jello Jello is offline
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Er, when you experience rejection.
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  #7  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:25 PM
BoBettie BoBettie is offline
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Man, that is the suck ass prize of the century. Cracker Jacks suck with shit prizes like that. May as well get you some Fiddle Faddle and be done with it.
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  #8  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:38 PM
Q.E.D. Q.E.D. is offline
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Re: But, but, but...

Quote:
Originally posted by JuanitaTech
How on earth, assuming it is tue, did they find that out???
Well, I suppose someone at some point must have shoved an endoscope down someone's esophagus. How they made him blush during this is anyone's guess.
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  #9  
Old 10-09-2003, 09:46 PM
Bad News Baboon Bad News Baboon is offline
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well, buddy, at least YOUR prize has some merit. For example, you can bring it up in a conversation (much like you did).

Wanna know what my prize was?

A piece of paper with printing on it. You then were supposed to fold it the long way, cut on the dotted lines and voila...

a RING!

Cracker Jack needs to take a note or two from the Kinder Egg people.
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  #10  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:00 PM
enipla enipla is offline
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Shit, I'd rather get a broken toothpick. At least you could set it on fire or something.

Stomach lining facts?

What fun, tell it to your friends. Then as you blush in humiliation, you can yell at them that your stomach is blushing too.

Great. Now where is that rock I was playing with?
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  #11  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:09 PM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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You know, I also wonder what the fuck is going on with cereal toys. They were much better when I was a kid. It seems like the only "free toy" that has actually gotten better over the years is the Happy Meal toy.
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  #12  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:35 PM
Manduck Manduck is offline
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Once in a box of Cracker Jacks I got a plastic car that you had to put together like a puzzle box. That was a great prize, but that was about 35 years ago. Haven't seen a decent one since.
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  #13  
Old 10-09-2003, 10:41 PM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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I remember once getting a Fortune Telling Fish from Cracker Jacks. It told your fortune by the way it curled up in the palm of your hand. The fun of that at least lasted 30 minutes or so when I was a kid.
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  #14  
Old 10-09-2003, 11:19 PM
Larry Mudd Larry Mudd is offline
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What? I remember being disappointed when they took it down a notch from squirt-ring calibre surprises to those crappy plastic novelty lips.


That's even crappier than Bazooka Joe comics.

What is the world coming to?
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  #15  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:32 AM
Mac Guffin Mac Guffin is offline
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Two Words:

"Choking Hazard"

I bet Litigation, or the fear thereof, took the plastic rings and toys outta Crackerjack.


However, if you happen to still have some old CrackerJack toy from the long past, you might be able to make a few bucks off it. Check this out...

I seriously doubt that the people of the future will be collecting today's CrackerJack crap.
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  #16  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:35 AM
Troy McClure SF Troy McClure SF is offline
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Re: Re: But, but, but...

Quote:
Originally posted by Q.E.D.
Well, I suppose someone at some point must have shoved an endoscope down someone's esophagus. How they made him blush during this is anyone's guess.
Maybe they had a pretty lady use a different route to get the endoscope to the stomach.
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  #17  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:46 AM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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Re: But, but, but...

Ok, silly me....I thought they would have done some kind of thermal imaging to show an increase in temperature due to increased blood flow.

Maybe is't just me. If they had said they wanted to stick a camera down my throat (or into any opening in my body) I would instantly explained that they would either need to find a new way to determine the color of my stomach or learn to live with disappointment, cause it ain't gonna happen.
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  #18  
Old 10-10-2003, 12:52 AM
Hilarity N. Suze Hilarity N. Suze is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Greathouse
You know, I also wonder what the fuck is going on with cereal toys. They were much better when I was a kid. It seems like the only "free toy" that has actually gotten better over the years is the Happy Meal toy.
NO.

A young man of my acquaintance (okay, my son) recently complained that McD's used to have cool toys, like real Hot Wheels cars, or Beany Babies, or--he even liked the miniature Barbie, at the time (they were out of the Hot Wheels), although he didn't much want to admit it. And nowadays they are giving things you can't figure out, or things that you need to collect the whole set before they even work.

He is eight.
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  #19  
Old 10-10-2003, 01:45 AM
Manduck Manduck is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Larry Mudd
... those crappy plastic novelty lips.
That reminds me of the clip-on fake moustaches they used to have. It was a plastic moustache with two things that you had to stick up your nose to hold it in place! I think that was the first step toward lameness with the prizes. Not because the prize was so horribly bad, but because for quite a while it was the only prize you could get - every box had that damn moustache.
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  #20  
Old 10-10-2003, 03:40 AM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Cicada2003
NO.

A young man of my acquaintance (okay, my son) recently complained that McD's used to have cool toys, like real Hot Wheels cars, or Beany Babies, or--he even liked the miniature Barbie, at the time (they were out of the Hot Wheels), although he didn't much want to admit it. And nowadays they are giving things you can't figure out, or things that you need to collect the whole set before they even work.

He is eight.
[hijack] <----of my own damn thread.

My son is also eight. He turns nine on Sunday. I wish his mother could see him now.

[/hijack]


The kids may not realize how much better the toys are in Happy Meals, but I think that in general, throughout the life of the product the quality of the toys has gone up.

The ONLY Happy Meal toy I remember from my childhood was basically the goofy box it came it. You could bend it, and fold it, and follow these ridiculous directions to make a Star rek "board game". Now that was Uber-Cheesey.
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  #21  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:08 AM
kambuckta kambuckta is offline
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Well. I am so sorry to be the one galah in a flock of parading peacocks, but I think the little prize was tres cool.

Tattoos last a day or so, the little plastic toys might survive a few hours (if all the parts are there), but a gem like "When you blush, your stomach lining also reddens' will be with your kid until the day he dies.

He'll impress the chicks with it when he is 18, and then he'll regale his kids with it when he is 35. And they'll tell their kids, who will then come to grandpa for confirmation, and he'll be able to do so......'cos it came from HIM in the first place.

I reckon it's grouse.
But maybe I'm just weird about the value of 'things'.

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  #22  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:36 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Ilsa_Lund
A duck's quack doesn'y echo, and noone knows why!
This must be the Scottish version of the UL.
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  #23  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:44 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Bad News Baboon
Cracker Jack needs to take a note or two from the Kinder Egg people.
The sad thing is that even Kinder has gone downhill in the last 10 years. I once got a helicopter out of a Kinder toy. It took about 30 minutes to construct - the rotor blades were coiled really tight, and it had one of those ratchet pull-cords to make it fly.

Last Easter what did I get? A fucking smurf.
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  #24  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:47 AM
Manduck Manduck is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by jjimm Last Easter what did I get? A fucking smurf. [/B]
Ah, the rare fucking smurf. Was it Smurfette? [pant pant]
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  #25  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:47 AM
Greathouse Greathouse is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by jjimm
The sad thing is that even Kinder has gone downhill in the last 10 years. I once got a helicopter out of a Kinder toy. It took about 30 minutes to construct - the rotor blades were coiled really tight, and it had one of those ratchet pull-cords to make it fly.

Last Easter what did I get? A fucking smurf.
What in the world is a Kinder Egg?
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  #26  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:48 AM
Manduck Manduck is offline
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[!]Fucking up the tags,
fucking up the tags,
we will come rejoicing
fucking up the tags![/i]
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  #27  
Old 10-10-2003, 05:51 AM
Marley23 Marley23 is offline
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LOL. I might not be laughing like that if it wasn't 5 am, Manduck, but I am nonetheless. Very funny.

This is starting to remind me of the Snapple Trivia Thread.
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  #28  
Old 10-10-2003, 06:02 AM
Celyn Celyn is offline
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Kinder Eggs = little chocolate eggs with a toy in it, usually something you put together, assuming you don't lose vital bits in the rush to eat the chocolate.

I got contact lenses in a Kinder Egg once, but I suppose it is possible that that was b/f's doing, rather than a present from Ferrero or whoever makes them.
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  #29  
Old 10-10-2003, 06:09 AM
Larry Mudd Larry Mudd is offline
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45 pages of Kinder Surprise potatoshops courtesy of b3ta.
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  #30  
Old 10-10-2003, 06:24 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
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I should point out that the huge kinder eggs have much better self-construct toys in them, though many are bizarre. A few years ago I got a machine with gears to wind, that made: 1. a duck rotate on a pond; 2. A dragon flap its wings, and 3. a racist stereotype Chinese man come out of his house and bow. Another year I got a game where you had to flick monkeys at a palm tree to make them stick.

Last year I got a fucking smurf house.

(Larry, that Alien Kinder Egg thing is superbly funny!)
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  #31  
Old 10-10-2003, 03:29 PM
SirRay SirRay is offline
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Wait a minute!

Since most of the production of toys and novelty items are done in low-wage Asian countries, shouldn't the prizes now be corresponding worth much more?
I mean, 30 years ago you'd get decoder rings and little booklets, made using "expensive" American labor. Now, with labor costs a tenth or less, you should be getting real exciting and complicated items like scale model Porsches and functioning model rockets.

Hell, even an American can print "Stomach linings redden" at a price companies can afford.
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