Double Standards (no British School Children)

[Manda JO]

Back in GQ under the "falling in love" thread, Drainbead posted the following:

"I recently broke up with my boyfriend over this [cunnilinguis]. And trust me, I loved him a whole bunch, given that he's been my best friend for years. But sometimes, love just isn't enough. We're back to being just friends now, and that's cool. I'm glad I tried this out, because I would have hated to always wonder what it would have been like.

But yeah...I need the whole package, and sex, although not the most important part, is
important. If he's selfish with that aspect, he's probably selfish with others as well. It'll just be a matter of time until you find out. Do you really want to spend your whole life giving and giving and never receiving just because you feel safe and protected? You need to be his equal."

Now, it seems to me that if a man were to dump a woman for being "selfish" and not giving him oral sex, there would be a great hue and cry from all her girlfriends over what a terrible, deprived beast he was. Any thoughts?

[thumbelina]

I think if something is really really important to your sexual pleasure you can't possibly be happy in a relationship where you aren't getting it. Whether you're male or female. And isn't it better to break up with the person, than to seek that "something" elsewhere, behind their back, as a lot of men married to prudish women do?

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[GregAtlanta]

If you're breaking up with someone over oral sex, you must not have had much of a relationship to begin with. Yeah, it's good (both giving and receiving), but in terms of an entire relationship, its relative importance is very low. Or it should be, anyway. Of course, if your relationship is nothing but sex, then I guess this could be a big factor. But that's not a real relationship. It's more like a sex partnership, and that, I guess, you can end with impunity when you don't get what you want.
And yes, I think most women would call a guy a real jerk if he dumped a woman for not wanting to give him head.
-- Greg, Atlanta