Alien Abduction

[WallyM7]

Suppose you were abducted by an alien spacecraft... yeah, I know, but suppose, and you could ask them any question you liked. What would your questions be?

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You are unique - Just like everone else.

[Persephone]

"What are you going to do with THAT thing????"

[Gaudere]

"Would you kindly remove your anal probe?"

[Bluepony]

(pointing to Earth on their viewport)

"I'm really not one of them, can we talk business here? How do franchise rights sound to you?"

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"...send lawyers, guns, and money..."

Warren Zevon

[pldennison]

"What ever happened with Roy Neary, anyway?"

[cmkeller]

"How does this spacecraft work?"

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Chaim Mattis Keller
ckeller@schicktech.com

"Sherlock Holmes once said that once you have eliminated the
impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be
the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.
The impossible often has a kind of integrity to it that the merely improbable lacks."
-- Douglas Adams's Dirk Gently, Holistic Detective

[David B]

I was just wondering -- could I borrow that ashtray?

(Readers of Carl Sagan will understand.)

"Why do you all look like Victoria Principal coming out of the shower on that Jhirmack commercial?"

[Alphagene]

I'd constantly ask them questions about Uranus, snickering to myself the whole time.

[Doctor Jackson]

"When you're done with me, could I have a copy of your computer OS? I'd like to take it back to Earth and make a few billion."

[WallyM7]

Doctor Jackson, a guy named Bill Gates did that already.

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You are unique - Just like everone else.

[WallyM7]

Let's put a little twist on this. Suppose you asked them about God and the said, "Who?"
Hmmm, I wonder if this will go on for 3 pages or die right here?

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You are unique - Just like everone else.

[Sam Stone]

When are you guys taking Anthony Robbins home?

[WallyM7]

I meant they instead of the. Sorry. Eye kant spel so goode.

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You are unique - Just like everone else.

[tracer]

WallyM7 wrote:

Doctor Jackson, a guy named Bill Gates did that already.

If Windows NT is the best operating system a superadvanced alien species can come up with, I'm really worried about the future of the computing industry....

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I'm not flying fast, just orbiting low.

[Mister_RogersAWC]

"WHAT?!? SuperAdvanced and you don't have PONG?"

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"No job's too small, we bomb them all."
-Ace Wrecking Company

[smilingjaws]

Would you PLEASE open the door and LET ME OUT!!!!!!

Fun question!

What the hell -- C#3, what the hell are you doing here?!?

[shiningnight]

Um, may I suggest beef, pork, chicken or maybe fish ? The last visitors looked kinda "green" after trying human.

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Shiningnight

[Polycarp]

You should look up C#3; he'd be much more interested in this!

[Snappy Plissken]

To the 1st question:
"Say, have you seen my mom recently?" (My mom's like...hooked on aliens thinks we're having a breeding program, etc.)

To the God thing:
I probably would...be like...okay with it. I have no clue really. I deal with all sorts of people believing in all sorts of things, so...I wouldn't be surprised.



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Snappy, The Crazy Toddite - Friend of Skippy

[WallyM7]

"Can I borrow that ashtray?" Excellent question. David was of course referring to Sagan's complaint that UFO sightings, abductions, photographs, sworn testimony, lie detectors, hypnosis, blah blah blah...add up to zip. He wanted to see an artifact. Nothing fancy. A nut,a bolt,a pen, an ashtray - anything - so he could analyze it. It's never happened.

If anyone mentions Roswell or the Alien Autopsy I'm gonna puke.



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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[Contestant #3]

I read that alien implants exist. I read that they were analyzed too. I know where to find a picture of a possible alien implant. I don't think that Sagan is going to be conducting the analysis anytime soon though...

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Contestant #3

[Lissa]

"But Cartman, there's an eighty-foot satallite dish sticking out of your ass!"

If "alien implants" exist, then:

A) why haven't they been examined by a reputable scientist or doctor? and, assuming that we can determine the object is of extra-terrestrial origions,

B) why haven't the findings been published world-wide? Oh, yeah . . . the "conspiracy."
But what would they gain by keeping it quiet? If NASA could prove just one alien abduction, they would get billions for the space program.

And why are the aliens so damn shy anyway? Supposedly, they've been abducting us for years, probing our nether regions, disecting our cattle with impunity, and giving architechture tips to the Egyptians and Mayans without ever leaving any actual proof their existance. (Clever little buggers, aren't they?)

If they would show themselves, I'm sure we could come up with a student-exchange sort of program that would suit everyone's needs. Why go through all of the bother of abducting people when there are plenty of people who would probably volunteer?

But on to the origional question:
If I were abducted, I would ask if I could drive.

[WallyM7]

C#3: A "picture" of an alien implant? Please.

Lissa: Loved your post. Couldn't have said it better.



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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[Contestant #3]

Re: implants

This first link takes you to photos submitted by Dr. Roger Leir and are of an object believed to be an alien implant. These photos are the image of the objects under the scrutiny of an electron scanning microscope:

http://www.artbell.com/rogerleir.html

Dr. Leir was interviewed concerning alien implants and the program is archived on the Art Bell site. If you follow this link (and if you have RealPlayer) you can listen to the interview which begins in the second hour of the program:
http://ww2.broadcast.com/artbell/feb98.stm (then click upon 2/4/98)


This next link takes you to an article concerning an implant found by Dr. John Mack of Harvard University. Included are photos of the object taken by an electron scanning microscope and in addition, there are links to reports of the energy dispersive spectroscopy of the object:
http://www.artbell.com/implant.html

A site search conducted within the Jeff Rense "Sightings" site, again upon the word "implant" yields these following links:
http://www.sightings.com/ufo/implantbanda.htm
and
http://www.sightings.com/health/implantremoval.htm

A quick look at the website of Mike Jarmus shows that you can hear an archived interview between Mike Jarmus and Dr. Roger Leir by accessing this link:
http://www.njpeople.com/mike/indexmj.html (then click on 1/3/99)



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Contestant #3

[WallyM7]

C#3, thank you for taking the trouble to post the above links. I have visited them all and found exactly what I thought I would find. Nothing. The first link does indeed show images of an object scanned by an eelectron microscope. This object is "believed" to be an alien implant.(your very own words). It could also be a zillion other things.
Your second link takes us to an interview with a certain Dr.Leir. Interview?
The third link takes us to an article on an implant found by a Dr.John Mack. Article?
The fourth leads us to the Jeff Rense "Sightings" site with a couple of sub-links on implants. Interestingly, one of the articles, by a Dr. Virgil Priscu, refutes the work of one of the implant researchers, offering a natural explanation, and deplores the dishonesty and deception that characterizes much of this "research." And yet this guy believes that UFOs exist!
So what have we got? Articles, pictures, interviews, testaments blahblah.... The very things that Sagan railed against.

C#3: Show me the implants! I don't have an electron microscope, but I have a serviceable
1500X compound mike. Let ME look at those implants. Let NASA give a peek. Send it to a lab for spectographic analysis. Give it to CERN so they can take it apart molecule by mmolecule, atom by atom.
Interviews? Articles? Photos? Reports? Hell, I can make a web page, too.
Please, please don't tell me these guys are qualified scientists. Arguing from authority makes me gag.

SHOW ME THE IMPLANTS!

Oh, and have a nice day.

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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[David B]

Folks, C3's inane "implant" stuff has already been discussed and dissected on the SETH thread. He's just trying to bring it to a new audience now, in hopes that maybe you won't check up on him.

[David B]

And, not incidentally, cluttering up with his nonsense what was an amusing and pretty good thread...

[WallyM7]

Sigh....

"Conclusions: The specimen appears to be an organic,plastic-like,three-lobed fiber with an internal structure organized into intricate layers in a seemingly irregular manner. It's identity, function, and purpose , remain unknown at this time."

Ergo, it's an alien implant. Or a plastic paper clip.

C#3: I give up.




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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[Contestant #3]

Please be more thorough...if you are this sloppy why would you even deserve a chance to examine the implants?

WallyM7 blurted:

"Send it to a lab for spectographic analysis. "

Check again (as alreacdy posted):

and in addition, there are links to reports of the energy dispersive spectroscopy of the object: http://www.artbell.com/implant.html




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Contestant #3

[HubZilla]

Moving on...

Suppose you were abducted by an alien spacecraft... yeah, I know, but suppose, and you could ask them any question you liked. What would your questions be?

Hey I thought you guys only picked up rednecks and bumpkins...

Oh.

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"It is impossible to defeat an ignorant man in an argument" - William McAdoo

[Moonshine]

"Hey, don't bogart that joint guys!"

[WallyM7]

LOL

Good one, Moon! Gonna steal it.

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You are unique - Just like everyone else.

[danielnsmith]

Lissa, you said

But what would they gain by keeping it quiet? If NASA could prove just one alien abduction, they would get billions for the space program.

The truth is, if NASA could prove that alien abductions were real, NASA would cease to exist and the USAF would once again take control of the space program. The space shuttles would become glorified orbital defense platforms to protect the american public. Space exploration would end so that a few arm-chair jet jocks could look good.

I hope that aliens are never proven to exist for this reason.

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Now my questions for the aliens would be:

"Could I have a picture of you?...No it's not for the National Inquisitor, just a personal memento."

My question is :" Unca Cecil! Is THIS what you look like?"

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We have met the enemy, and He is Us.--Walt Kelly

[VegForLife]

SHOW ME THE IMPLANTS!

You can get slapped for this. . .

Rich

[Lissa]

Danielnsmith, I disagree. Despite the Hollywood prototype, I don't think our first contact would be all that militarized, unless the aliens showed themselves to be hostile from the outset.

Scientists would be in charge. We would have to study the visitors a bit to make sure that they weren't naturally emiting a horrible chemical that vaporised flesh. The scientists would have important information, and equippment. These would be vital. They would also be the ones who would need to speak to the aliens so that we could share ideas. I doubt the army would claim expertise in physics and astronomy.

[Kozmo]

I would ask where they come from and why they're here.

Wally: I read the same assessment. The first time, I passed over where it said the fiber in question could be stretched to twice its length. I don't know of any plastic paper clip that does that. At first, I thought it might be explainable as a piece of string-trimmer line, but stretching isn't something they do, either. Of course, it could very well be a carpet fiber -- I'm not sure whether it was subjected to chemical analysis because that would have probably required destroying the item in the process; a carpet fiber, if inhaled extremely deeply into the nasal sinuses and retained there for a time, might acquire the 'coating' this one seems to have. However, that would take one hell of a snort.
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"You guys give frequent flyer miles? "

[tracer]

WallyM7 wrote:

"Conclusions: The specimen appears to be an organic,plastic-like,three-lobed fiber with an internal structure organized into intricate layers in a seemingly irregular manner. It's identity, function, and purpose , remain unknown at this time."

Ergo, it's an alien implant. Or a plastic paper clip.

My first guess when I saw the picture was that it's 3 strands of bare fiber optic cable wrapped around each other. Fiber optics are really slender outside of their insulating sheaths.