Sorry for the less than descriptive thread title, but I couldn’t think of a way to summarize my question.
Anyway…
My mother-in-law has several friends that she gets together with from time to time…sometimes at her house, sometimes at one of the other friends’ houses.
Make a long story short…all of these friends have begun to realize that, when visiting, whenever friend “Kathy” uses the bathroom she uses the terrycloth bath towels to wipe (#2) rather than the t.p. and then neatly puts them back in order to (one can only assume) hide the “evidence”.
They are all too embarassed to call her on it, and no one can figure out why on earth someone would do such a thing. She’s a very heavy woman (they all are in fact) and there has been speculation that possibly she can’t reach the area needing wiping with a wad of t.p., and must therefore use something larger that she can manipulate more easily.
But still, you know somebody’s going to eventually find their neatly folded bath towels soiled with fecal matter and eventually, if you visit enough, they’ll put 2 and 2 together and know it’s you. So what could possibly be the thought process that leads one to believe this is a reasonable thing to do?
That is so disgusting and rude it’s beyond comprehension. If she’s so large personal hygeine’s an issue one would think she’d travel with her own towel with which to wipe.
Perhaps this is a mental health issue? Esp. the hiding of the evidence. She is ashamed of what she is doing, obviously, but seems compelled to keep doing it–and doesn’t seem to want to “bring her own” as Juanita suggests. Does she ever act irrationally in other circumstances?
That is…wow. Hide the towels. better yet, a discreet note to the not-a-lady might embarrass her enough to make her stop. Or even better yet, deliver the towels to her home and bill her for replacements. And ask her not to come back.
If they are truly her friends, then someone needs to take her aside and confront her. Don’t gang up on her, just one on one, and for God’s sake, tell her this is not acceptable behavior. At all.
I would confront her on it. I know she’s probably embarassed, but MY GOD, that’s fucking disgusting! Doesn’t she care about spreading germs and bacteria?
You wouldn’t think I’d have something to say in this thread, would you?
Well, a few weeks ago I had some Dopers–E-Sabbath, Billdo, Oxy and his b/f–over to my place. The night before, I dyed my hair–I am slowly moving from Bozo Orange back to my natural brown. Aaaaand, I managed to get some hairdye on my bathroom towels and rug. Hmmmm. Is there any way to explain brown smears on my bathroom towels and rug? Nope, which is why I had to pitch them and buy new ones . . .
Perhaps she feels that she is entitled to use the towels, or she has had a traumatic experience with the brand of tissue. Pilling effect, wood chips, not enough aloe, arthritis…c’mon lady, help me out to not think you are a disgusting human being…
That’s just plain gross. Count me in the “call her on it” camp. I can’t imagine why someone would do this in the absence of some type of mental issue. I have a bigger issue with the fact she was trying to hide the “evidence”. The behavior reminds me of something a 3-year-old may do. Please let us know how you decide to resolve this and what her answers are.
I thing asking/talking to her about it is appropriate, BUT I think the group should decide who is best able to do it withoug hurting her feelings or making her more uncomfortable than she’s already likely to be.
I mean, approach it in some way like:
‘Bertha, I (or we) have noticed such and such. While I/we would prefer that you use the toilet tissue, if there is a reason why you prefer to use the towels, I/we have placed a hamper in there and would prefer that you place the towels there once they are used.’
And leave it at that. Don’t ask why she does it, try to do it without being mean…but still get it done. Because it is nasty (especially the hiding part).