Since this thread was closed, I’ve decided to open this thread. If you don’t want to post offensive language, replace slurs with “elephant” and verbs with “Boogle.”
Bill Clinton dies and goes to heaven, Pope dies and goes to hell. After the mixup is fixed, they pass each other on the way. Pope says “Finally, I can mee the Virgin Mary.” Clinton says “Uh, about that.”
The cops show up at Bill’s place.
“Bill, you know we’ve been dragging the swamp for your wife and we have some good news and some bad news.”
“Go ahead, I’m ready.”
“Well, the bad news is we pulled her up with a grappling hook and she was dead and there were crawfish and crabs and other critters hanging off of her.”
“Shit, that’s awful. So what’s the good news?”
“We’re pulling her back up in about a half hour.”
The mixup being only Bill was in the wrong place?
Chefguy: I don’t get it. Did they drop her back in by accident or something?
Bruce is driving across the Sydney Harbour Bridge, and he sees his girlfriend Sheila scaling the suicide fence.
He screeches to a halt, and cries, “Sheila! What are you doing?”
Sobbing terribly, she says, “Bruce, you’ve gone and made me pregnant!”
As he drives away, Bruce calls over his shoulder, “Aaaawwww geeez Sheila, not only are you a great fuck, but you’re a good sport too!”
Mr V, they were goin’ crawfishing.
That was from the locked thread. That is one of the funniest jokes I have ever read, courtesy of roadrunner70.
Moderator’s Notes: Great. So now we’re reduced to reposting stuff from locked threads? I think not. Nor do I think there’s really a need for a collection of offensive jokes in this forum.