#1  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:15 AM
El Elvis Rojo El Elvis Rojo is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2001
Posts: 2,860
Looking for Skeleton Puns

Aside from "BONEFIED!", can anyone think of any good skeleton puns out there?
  #2  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:17 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,701
Do they have to be humerus?
  #3  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:20 AM
js_africanus js_africanus is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Nov 2002
Location: Small City, Michigan
Posts: 5,162
Quote:
Originally posted by jjimm
Do they have to be humerus?
No. Just the bare bones, please.
  #4  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:24 AM
Celyn Celyn is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2000
Posts: 4,706
and you're making no bones about it.

Hmm - I *suppose* there could conceivably be a transnational bit of post-accident surgery wherebyy the Nip bone was connected to the Thai bone?

Ye gods, if I typed that out loud, I *must* need more coffee (which might also explain why I don't understand the "bonefied" thing.)

Ah, given a time-machine - until about 25 ish years ago, you couldl not buy alchohol on a Sunday in Scotland unless you were a BONa fide traveller.

Hmm - or there might be a cooking disaster after which one was left with only "bone, bone, on the range".


Um, it's all right - I'll leave quietly!
  #5  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:33 AM
Black Train Song Black Train Song is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 1,421
I'm not thinking clearly because I'm running a femur.

Some people think I look like Pelvis Presley.

..these aren't puns, are they? Whatever they are, they're bad.
  #6  
Old 11-25-2003, 09:34 AM
jjimm jjimm is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 2001
Posts: 28,701
I'm asking if you want them to be rib-tickling, or just hip?
  #7  
Old 11-25-2003, 10:10 AM
dejahma dejahma is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2002
Posts: 81
Why didn't the boy skeleton cross the road?

He didn't have the guts

Why didn't the girl skeleton cross the road?

She didn't have the balls
  #8  
Old 11-25-2003, 10:16 AM
BuddyToBud BuddyToBud is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Would love to help and was asking within my immediate radius for ideas. The boss came up to ask me what I was doing and had to tell him a little fibula - he looked very sternum and walked away muttering. So I am sorry I won't be able to help - best of luck with your search.....
  #9  
Old 11-25-2003, 10:29 AM
danceswithcats danceswithcats is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Voting anti-obamanation
Posts: 10,300
With average skull, I'd think you'd find yourself more than carpalable. Turn on the radius and relax.
__________________
Crows. Keeping our highways clear of roadkill for over 80 years
  #10  
Old 11-25-2003, 11:27 AM
Bimble Bimble is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: London
Posts: 101
<-- *is skullking behind the door*
  #11  
Old 11-25-2003, 11:56 AM
quiltguy154 quiltguy154 is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Cheesesteak City
Posts: 2,538
"Pat, Ella, have you two been introduced?"

Favorite new actor: Holden Magroin

[alright, alright, I stole it from Friends]

I'm tired of takin' it on the chin, but I'd give my eyeteeth to be a more forehead-looking person.
  #12  
Old 11-25-2003, 12:09 PM
Scarlett67 Scarlett67 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: The Middle of Nowhere, WI
Posts: 10,702
Oh, tibia in Paris now that spring is here!

Attendance at the meeting is mandible.

Socket to me!

. . .

OK, that's it. Ulna longer be a participant in this nonsense.
  #13  
Old 11-25-2003, 12:25 PM
Derleth Derleth is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: Missoula, Montana, USA
Posts: 19,767
I wish we could automate these puns. It's a pain to do them mandibally.

But could any computer possibly comprehend the stapes of jokemaking: timing and comic irrelevance?

I don't know, but I won't say it'll never happen. That could easily become a boner.
__________________
"Ridicule is the only weapon that can be used against unintelligible propositions. Ideas must be distinct before reason can act upon them."
If you don't stop to analyze the snot spray, you are missing that which is best in life. - Miller
I'm not sure why this is, but I actually find this idea grosser than cannibalism. - Excalibre, after reading one of my surefire million-seller business plans.
  #14  
Old 11-25-2003, 12:44 PM
BuddyToBud BuddyToBud is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Boss has gone home now so I won't get the sacrum if I continue looking for puns. Still haven't thought of any yet though....
  #15  
Old 11-25-2003, 12:57 PM
lieu lieu is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Bedrock
Posts: 26,079
They told me I broke my tibia but that turned out to be a fibula.
  #16  
Old 11-25-2003, 01:08 PM
bughunter bughunter is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Sol3, Orion Arm, MilkyWay
Posts: 2,581
The ultimate obvious dirty pun imperfectly recalled from Hustler Humor

Q: Why did the nympho date a skeleton?

SPOILER:
A: 'Cause he always had a boner for her.
  #17  
Old 11-25-2003, 02:18 PM
Dragwyr Dragwyr is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Oct 1999
Location: Right behind you!!!
Posts: 3,935
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer.... and a mop."
__________________
-Dragwyr
"Believe me, brother. Until you've been booed by a small mob of middle aged New York swingers wearing see-through Tarzan outfits and packing squeeze bottles of fruit flavored lubricant, you don't know the meaning of fear." - Rev. Billy C. Wirtz
  #18  
Old 11-25-2003, 02:34 PM
Ludovic Ludovic is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Jul 2000
Location: America's Wing
Posts: 27,078
Puns are part and tarsal of the skeleton. It's gauche to carpal puns. Now, I don't want to make too many ribs or someone will slap my coccyx.
  #19  
Old 11-25-2003, 03:02 PM
photopat photopat is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Nov 1999
Location: chicago illinois, usa
Posts: 4,692
Guess I'll have to bone up on my anatomy.
  #20  
Old 11-25-2003, 03:57 PM
Max Torque Max Torque is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Sep 1999
Location: Raiderville, TX
Posts: 10,347
My favorite: We were watching Army of Darkness. There's a scene where some skeleton warriors are dragging along some scantily-clad women in chains. My friend blurts out, "Look, that one has a boner!"
  #21  
Old 11-25-2003, 04:13 PM
Sternvogel Sternvogel is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Lafayette, IN
Posts: 12,009
An ear for puns?

Don't want to stirrup any trouble, but I am interested in this topic anvil try to help you. Am I a hammer what?
  #22  
Old 11-25-2003, 10:58 PM
Call me Frank Call me Frank is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Posts: 725
Blast you, Dragwyr, I was gonna use that!

On a toy: "Made by patella"

Ok, I know that was terrible, I'll leave....
  #23  
Old 11-26-2003, 07:23 AM
racer72 racer72 is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Auburn, WA
Posts: 6,023
Theres a new comedy sensation at the graveyard. Red Skeleton.
  #24  
Old 11-26-2003, 08:18 AM
Scarlett67 Scarlett67 is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2000
Location: The Middle of Nowhere, WI
Posts: 10,702
None of this makes any sense. Must be a clavicle error.

Where did all those bite marks on your shoulder come from?
Count Scapula!
  #25  
Old 11-26-2003, 09:27 AM
Mangetout Mangetout is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2001
Location: England
Posts: 56,630
Why can't skeletons play church music?

Because they don't have any organs.
  #26  
Old 11-26-2003, 10:59 AM
lieu lieu is offline
Member
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: Bedrock
Posts: 26,079
Skeletons don't have a tendon, see, to stay together.
  #27  
Old 11-26-2003, 11:52 AM
BuddyToBud BuddyToBud is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Oct 2003
Location: Liverpool
Posts: 308
Still looking - may have found something by tomarrow....
  #28  
Old 11-26-2003, 01:53 PM
BurnMeUp BurnMeUp is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: Redmond, WA USA
Posts: 3,407
Stop SKULLking around, why are you depending on us for your rib ticklers?

It's like if theire was a young lady trying to choose a sex partner and in line she saw 5 naked men and one skeleton, she;'d dtake the skeleton because why settle for cocks 1-5 when coccyx will do?

Q How is a doctor feeling a baby's head like Ponce De Leon?

A He's looking for the Fontinelles of Youth
__________________
_______________
"You need to have performed three miracles to become a saint, and two of them can be card tricks." - Snooooopy
  #29  
Old 11-26-2003, 02:20 PM
Tripler Tripler is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: May 2000
Location: JSOTF SDMB, OL-LANL
Posts: 6,949
Quote:
Originally posted by Dragwyr
A skeleton walks into a bar and says to the bartender, "Give me a beer.... and a mop."
Oh that is just too damn funny. Thanks to you, I now have beer on my monitor, numbskull.

Tripler
I have a tendoncy to laugh when I read threads like this.
  #30  
Old 12-16-2016, 10:41 PM
evilwithmysister evilwithmysister is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Dec 2016
Posts: 1
:well tibia honest aren't my pun humerus it would be such a femur-ry situation because it would skull my reputation after all my puns are BONE-ified by a ton of comedian! a skeleton!
my sister:...*snickers*
me: i am not even telling you a fibula all of this is rib-bing me everyday

if i can help someone in need
lol



  #31  
Old 12-17-2016, 11:06 AM
RealityChuck RealityChuck is offline
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Apr 1999
Location: Schenectady, NY, USA
Posts: 40,643
The hip bone's Schenectady the thigh bone...
  #32  
Old 12-18-2016, 02:10 AM
rowrrbazzle rowrrbazzle is offline
Guest
 
Join Date: Jul 1999
Location: Chicago
Posts: 8,494
Dig up the graves of Napoleon and his family, and you'll see lots of bony parts.

Last edited by rowrrbazzle; 12-18-2016 at 02:11 AM.
  #33  
Old 12-18-2016, 08:05 AM
whitetho whitetho is online now
Charter Member
 
Join Date: Mar 1999
Location: USA, North Carolina, Cary
Posts: 2,431
Quote:
Originally Posted by El Elvis Rojo View Post
Aside from "BONEFIED!", can anyone think of any good skeleton puns out there?
I noticed this OP is 13 years old. How soon did you kneed the puns?

Last edited by whitetho; 12-18-2016 at 08:06 AM. Reason: math
Reply

Bookmarks

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off

Forum Jump


All times are GMT -5. The time now is 08:16 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.7
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.

Send questions for Cecil Adams to: cecil@chicagoreader.com

Send comments about this website to: webmaster@straightdope.com

Terms of Use / Privacy Policy

Advertise on the Straight Dope!
(Your direct line to thousands of the smartest, hippest people on the planet, plus a few total dipsticks.)

Publishers - interested in subscribing to the Straight Dope?
Write to: sdsubscriptions@chicagoreader.com.

Copyright 2017 Sun-Times Media, LLC.

 
Copyright © 2017