The stigma of being online...

[Doobieous]

I was reading my school's message board today, and i replied to an anti University Police thread (let's not get side tracked by discussions of that, please), and in a reply to my message, someone thought they could insult me by saying I spent too much time on my schools MB (actually i cut back last year).

Well, all it really did was make me laugh and point out they had no idea about me (besides, i'm always here ). I think the reason is, they think only losers with no life spend any amount of time on a MB and somehow pointing it out will be insulting. Oh well, they can think what they like about me.

So, what kinds of things have you heard from people that further this idea that it's not good to be online a lot? Any really negative comments? Do you agree with my hypothesis?

[GaWd]

Doobster,

Aside from the anti-social tendencies that being online seems to spawn, I find nothing wrong with it.

Since I work graveyard shift in a web ops center monitoring our customers' websites, I have literally nothing to do. So, for 8 hours anight I'm online here...

When I get home in the morning, it's time to check my E-mail, and this MB, and then off to bed. My DSL line gives me a steady connection, so if I'm not out anywhere, I'm always online.

I figure in a typical day I'm either in front of a computer, or on the net from between 12-18 hours. Kinda gross...but I used to be worse.

Back in the day, when I had an AOl dial-up account(28.8 kbps) and I discovered the net, I'd stay online until mystupid AOL timer said, " get offline you internet addict! Take a shower, and try and get some circulation back into your cramped legs, you slob" LoL.

So, is it a problem? I don't think so anymore...because it's my job, but it tended to be in the beginning.

[Doobieous]

I've been online a lot because heavy school work loads require I be at this computer to do my work. It's just funny so many people think that if you spend time on MB's and online, you are anti-social. I really do think these people who make those comments are checking up on me (if the guy mentions it again i'm going to call him on it). I think part of it is that they see my name a few times, and they think i've spent all day reading it and then thinking of replies (it takes me 5 minutes to reply to three threads on that board).

Honestly, i'm glad i've spent the amount of time I have on this MB, and in chat. Otherwise I wouldn't have met all the cool people I have at doper bashes, and I wouldn't have made friends with some of you people. Being online as much as I have has actually helped me to meet people IRL, and find more friends.

[tshirtz]

Based just on what you said, I'd say you spend too much time on two message boards.
When your friends tell you it's a drinking problem, it's usually after it's really obvious. Same here.

But, here's the big test (and you gotta be honest):

What did you do before?

If it was alone, no loss.

If it was with people, you've lost something. Find those people and do the old things again.

Don't be a hermit, or you'll end up in a shack planning revenge on people who don't even know you.

[Doobieous]

But, here's the big test (and you gotta be honest):

What did you do before?

I Used to go out with my friends, and study my ass off.

If it was with people, you've lost something. Find those people and do the old things again.

Don't be a hermit, or you'll end up in a shack planning revenge on people who don't even know you.

Well Yeah, I am losing something, kind of. All of my close friends from school are graduating, and I don't have an easy way to see them (they live in the bay area, My car cant drive that far north). Trust me, while I spend a lot of time online (I go on in the evenings when i'm home working on school work), it's not something i'd lose a lot of sleep over if I couldn't have access to it.

I gladly drop everything to go out with them when they have time, but recently they have been working on graduating. I'm actually looking forward to my friend Liz's graduation party on the 19th, and pretty much cant wait for it to happen because i'll get to see my friends again.

My original post wasn't to make it seem like I feel insulted by people saying i'm online all the time. On the contrary. I do spend a lot of time here online, and I actually don't read the entire board. The guy who I referred to said that because he was trying to insult me. I've actually only posted twice the entire week on my school's MB (recently i went two months without posting there).

People's comments about it arent something I lose sleep over. I just find the stigma that some people hold about it to be interesting, and wanted to hear what others have heard .

[voguevixen]

My husband's favorite new pastime is logging on during the day from work, checking how long I've been online, and IMing me a message that says "WEBHOG!!!

[TVeblen]

I firmly believe...well, actually, I don't know WHAT the heck I believe about this.

Doob, you seem like a pretty grounded person who's in a high stress-situation right now. How much is "too much" for you? Well, I doubt anyone outside can put a neat, clean numerical designator on your life. That's the thing; it's really easy to glom onto one aspect and take it as The Answer.

FWIW, when I got into severe deadline and brain overload in grad school, I retreated into books--and I probably did it too much. But the simple truth is that other people require time, care and thought, and sometimes it's just that much TOO much. IMO, it isn't antisocial and it isn't sick--or permanent. Actually, it's a lot like friends cutting slack for someone who's overloaded at the moment.

The technology differs, but the essence doesn't. Read history. Attending to correspondence and letter writing wasn't just honored, it was a social obligation. How is that connection different, really? A quick note or a jotted postcard to a distant friend/acqaintance differs--how?!--from a quick post or IM? Just the means of transmission has changed, hmmmm?

I guess you're the best judge of this. Situations change. You're in a pressure cooker right now. And sometimes even the lamest "night out" can be a grounding breath of fresh air. But no matter, you only have so much "Doob-ness" to give, so I guess it depends on where you draw your strength at any given time.

SHIT! Would someone please clonk me with a mallet?! HOW does Wally do this, with just a few lines and more impact?! ::grumble::

Wishing you well, my friend. You ain't sick and antisocial yet. Believe me, the assembled Dopers will be first to tell you.

Veb

[Talkinsquirrel]

I like being online. I'm able to meet all kinds of people I would never had the chance to meet in person. I met my fiance online. Just as long as you dont obsess over it theres nothing wrong with it.

Sides who can argue with free porn? j/k

[Anti Pro]

Doobieous, it sounds like you've got your head on pretty straight to me. If you'd drop the message board to be with friends, then you know what is more important in your life.

As for criticisms, my oldest son is ALWAYS criticizing me being online on the message boards. I've found it's wiser not to tell him. However, he's coming home on Saturday, with his laptop, which might pose some problems, but he's a morning person, I KNOW I've got him at least beat by how long I can stay up!!

Besides, I have to stay tuned, how will I find out what Rhythmdvl did with the rat in his toilet?? It would just be too much stress to stay away!