Horrible Hetero Habits?

Why do Het's act the way they do?
You know, the men, with their big beer bel-lies, scratching their 'personal area', spitting, the BO? Their dreadful sense of style? Cheap cologne? Very uncivilized? Talk about women (who they supposedly love) as Bitches, the Old Lady, The Wife? Have very little to do with raising their children...except to say, "Hey, I ain't shooting blanks." They crave oral sex, then either disdain the woman who obliges, or call someone they HATE a nasty euphemism for the vary same act? What about Het Women? Polyesther pants in very noisy colors, that fit them maybe 3 sizes ago? Having children...then ignoring them. Or, getting Pregnant...and aborting the child because it is inconvenient? Then there is their tendancy toward 'Country' decor...you know that blue/gray color, lot's of oak or (shudder) oak veneer, geese doodads, samplers that say, "Back Door Friends are Best"...and those hideous magazines! Right in the grocery store. "How to enjoy sex with you husband!", "Never had an Orgasm? Ten Tips on how to enjoy Sex!" "Husband won't make love? Try these teasers?" Is that all you people think about? Then of course, the "Ask The Pediatrician" column in these same magazines..."My son fell iceskating yesterday. This morning his ankle is all purple and swollen three times the size. He can't stand on it. What should I do?" ...Here's a hint, idiot: Take him to the Dr. and don't write to a monthly magazine to figure it out!
Also they way they talk. Dese, dem's doze.Ain't. Ir-Regardless...Is it put on? If so Why? Or are they simply genetically inferior? Also, why are they so...well, unattractive?

The Voice
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Heterosexual's should stop complaining about ugly Lesbian's unless they stop breeding them!-- Rita Mae Brown

God help anyone who dared make those kind of generalizations about Homosexuals or any other minority. I think I'm ready to classify The Voice with the likes of Thorwhosit.

The Voice, please tell me this is some sort of ironical/satyrical message....

- - - "Why do hets act the way they do?"
-
- - - Because we can. 99% Hets, 1% gays. Gays are a minor-minority. Always have been, always will be. -And should be. When the majority of the world's population chooses not to procreate, our species will be in deep doo-doo. So get used to it. - MC

Papa:God help anyone who dared make those kind of generalizations about Homosexuals or any other minority. I think I'm ready to classify The Voice with the likes of Thorwhosit.>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Voice says:
Clearly you didn't read the topic "Flamers (gay)"...I just did. This is a satire of that revolting,stupid,insulting,"some of my best friends are_",patronizing,"I know a Gay person, aren't I the bomb," generalization...
God Help anyone who dare, indeed!

Yepitsme Says:The Voice, please tell me this is some sort of ironical/satyrical message....>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Thank God!!!! Yes, Yes. It is indeed.

All I really remember from that thread is your comment that Heterosexuals were all boring. By that time I felt the thread had just become silly. Please clarify the intent of your OP. I'm hoping I'm missing something here.

Why do hets act the way they do?"
-
- - - Because we can. 99% Hets, 1% gays. Gays are a minor-minority. Always have been, always will be. -And should be. When the majority of the world's population chooses not to procreate, our species will be in deep doo-doo. So get used to it. - MC <<<<<<<

MC, Thanks for reminding me. Hets stink at Math, too.
BTW, You sound proud of the BO, bad english, chaep cologne...Good for you! Claim your ignorance! Stand up for your stink! You go, Girl!

PaPaBear: All I really remember from that thread is your comment that Heterosexuals were all boring. By that time I felt the thread had just become silly. Please clarify the intent of your OP. I'm hoping I'm missing something here.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Papa, that was my visceral response. That thread was a collection of generalizations about a small minority of Gay men. So, I took facts about certain portions of the Heterosexual population, put them into a new topic/question and viola! Of course it was a generalization. You don't realize how many Homosexual People that you meet everyday, because whether it's your grocer or broker, the lady at 7-11, the guy in the next office, the construction worker on the road, The State Trooper who pulled you over ...and on and on...because they don't "Flame" or wear an I am Gay sign.
Look, my mother and father were Hetero's.My mother still is. My father was til the day he died. My sisters are. But that thread was so revolting I wanted to respond in kind. So I did.
La Voce

Thanks for the clarification.

Revolting,stupid,insulting?You are in a good mood.I started the thread as a question I had wondered about.I don't think I am cool because I knew gay men.My husband was mainly gay,and I saw all of his friends and co-workers.Get a life!

*sigh*
And someone called *my* post a waste of space?

I wonder how many people would be offended if someone started a post that said "why are all black people..." and then started in with stereotypes about black people. How would we take it if people chimed in with comments such as "oh, I know a black person - he is really nice"? This comment, though probably not meant this way, sounds as if it is a novelty to know a nice black person. It's like saying "oh they aren't really all wife beating gang banging dead-beat fathers who can't hold a job and live in the ghetto" (yes, that was over-dramatization), as if there is the underlying assumption that they are those things, and it is our job to assure people there are "normal" black people.

The same could be said for many different topics "why are all mexicans/brits/americans/white people/women/homosexuals/etc this or that". To many, inculding myself, those posts, or rather the ideas behind them can be offensive, or in the least pointless(the assumptions and stereotypes. Even the attempt to debunk the stereotypes often offends by making it seem as if the people in question are not just people - the same in many ways and different in many ways).


Anyway, just trying to say that I can see how The Voice would get fed up with it. I have heard many people of different races and genders complain the same thing.

When the majority of the world's population chooses not to procreate, our species will be in deep doo-doo.

Actually, I'm of the opinion that we will be in "deep doo-doo" unless more people choose not to procreate.

Voice, don't worry...I took your post in the vein it was intended and had a good laugh. In fact, you've given me many good ideas for the "Straight Pride" parade I've been planning: The "country goose" float and the Beer-belly, BO, B*ll-scratchin' brigade.

I'm not even going to justify this thread with a post.

Whoops.

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"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." -George Carlin

Would the Voice have dared to make fun of blacks in the same way that he makes fun of heterosexuals? I bet he wouldn't have.

There are a few groups that it is still acceptable to make fun of in the US today. The most common example, of course, is working-class white men (AKA rednecks, greasers, white trash, trailer trash). Of course, you'll find as many decent, friendly, intelligent working-class white men as you'll find among any other group of people. But it's OK to make fun of them as a group. Of course, their ancestors were the guys at Guadalcanal and Normandy. Not that that matters or anything.

- - - Okay anybody, I recall that most neutral studies done around the world had placed the percentage of population as actively homosexual at about 1%. What part of the math is bad? - MC

- - - "Why do hets act the way they do?"
-
- - - Because we can. 99% Hets, 1% gays. Gays are a minor-minority. Always have been, always will be. -And should be. When
the majority of the world's population chooses not to procreate, our species will be in deep doo-doo. So get used to it. - MC <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Actually, I think it's 90 and 10-- or one in ten-- or Two in Twenty, the name of an all-lesbian soap opera.


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--Rowan
Shopping is still cheaper than therapy. --my Aunt Franny

Revolting,stupid,insulting?You are in a good mood.I started the thread as a question I had wondered about.I don't think I am cool because I knew gay men.My husband was mainly gay,and I saw all of his friends and co-workers.Get a life!~~Vanillanice

Voice Says: Van. I am sorry that your husband chose to marry you. I am sure it was a difficult thing to deal with. My objection had to do with the simple fact that you took one tiny segment (albeit a visible segment)of the population and asked why do thay do that? I took it to it's logical extreme, picking the annoying and/or puzzling characteristics that are primarily associated with Hetero's and asked the same type of question. I am a Lesbian, BTW, and although brought up to marry a man and having dated many men in my late teens, I new I could never do it. I am sorry if you don't get satire. But, as Opal said, why, oh why is this such an issuue?????? I swear, it never comes up in normal conversation. I have, however, had to sit, in my very office, and listen to "fag, queer, dyke" jokes, comments, accustaions etc.
BTW, mylife is fabulous.I spoil my nieces & nephews rotton, as well as my ex'es kids, I do what I love, I travel extensively, I give to charity, I am well educated, attractive (well, for forty) and I only buy the best. Is your point that Lesbians/Gays aren't allowed to be emotional?

Sly says: (sigh) And someone called *my* post a waste of space?

Voice responds: Sly, read the response to Vanilla

And thanks for chiming in, your input was brilliant and insightful!

Yepitsme says:Anyway, just trying to say that I can see how The Voice would get fed up with it. I have heard many people of different races and genders complain the same thing.
Voice responds: Thank you, Yep. I think there are a lot more important and or funny/interesting things we can discuss.

VogueVixen Says:Voice, don't worry...I took your post in the vein it was intended and had a good laugh. In fact, you've given me many good ideas for the "Straight Pride" parade I've been planning: The "country goose" float and the Beer-belly, BO, B*ll-scratchin' brigade. <<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Voice replies: Thank you, love! And I think that that idea is absolutely fabulous! Wish I could attend! Some more ideas: "Welcome Friends" signs to go with the geese decor, Woman's Day magazine (the Neighbors column especially), and the 80 or 90 thousand book titles telling men & women How to enjoy/love/have sex with each other! Also: Maybe some Hetero's can "Come out" that day? Don't forget a Gay & Lesbian Friends Of Heterosexuals float!

The Gay Pride Parade is a mixture of politics, civil rights, pride, and also lampooning the stereotypes.
I LOVE your idea! If I lived close enough I'd be your Grand Marshall-ette!
Love and an honorary Straight Power salute right at ya!
La Voce
*********************************************
"Men Are from Mars, Women Are from Venus"
Hey, moron, men are from Earth, Women are from Earth, get over it.And stop taking advantage of people who don't get along with each other.

Pathunt says:I'm not even going to justify this thread with a post.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Voice responds:Well then I am not going to dignify your post with a response!

The Voice
*********************************************
Who says Lesbian's have no sense of humor?

Pathunt says:Whoops.

Voice ays: Me,too.

Lawrence says:Would the Voice have dared to make fun of blacks in the same way that he makes fun of heterosexuals? I bet he wouldn't have.
There are a few groups that it is still acceptable to make fun of in the US today. The most common example, of course, is working-class white men (AKA rednecks, greasers, white trash, trailer trash). Of course, you'll find as many decent, friendly, intelligent working-class white men as you'll find among any other group of people. But it's OK to make fun of them as a group. Of course, their ancestors were the guys at Guadalcanal and Normandy. Not that that matters or anything.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Lawrence...Read my other responses...
Now then, Does the fact that My Uncle, born in Italy, but brought to america in the 30's and raised as an American citizen is a decorated HERO who survived WWII, Korea and 'Nam? That he was in battles in Italy where he may well have killed his cousins, Uncles? That my great Grandmother in Italy was killed by American bombs during that war...and that my Grandmother didn't know her mother was dead until after the War? Or on my mother's side, that my Uncle died from injuries received at Dunkirk? That all his wife had to remember him by was his name on a monument at Buckingham Palace? That Both of my family's countries were bombed ~~ The UK by the Axis, Italy by the Allies? Does it matter that my uncle was en route to Japan until the Bomb was dropped?...What about the fact that I was born and raised in the projects (hosing for veterans, they called it) and during the Viet Nam War that I saw US Army Officers arrive time and again to say to a woman in her 20's or 30's -- with her little children all around, or go to a parents door to say, "The US Army regrets to inform you that..."??? Or that it was only us NOT anyone named Bush, or Kennedy, or Clinton who died in that disguusting War? And can you please explain what this has to do with Lampooning a part of the Hetero Population?

And since YOU brought it up,I'm sure that you are well aware that Gay's were forced to wear Pink Triangles in Nazi Germany and were exterminated in concentration camps. That that is why the PINK Triangle is the Gay symbol? Or how many Gay men fought in every war, especially WWII? NO, I am sure though you love those sissy boys Ronny "I have an ear-ache" Reagan who dodged WWII, along with John "my knee hurts'Wayne (Or that when shown John Wayne films during the War, the Gay men would yell out, "Hey, Marion! Where's your skirt?" (Marion, of course being his real name)I am also sure that you are aware that land that AMERICAN citizens of Italian descent owned, was taken by the Government the same as they did to Japanese Americans? While German POW's in this country were treated like visiting Royalty? (At USO show's, it was White American Soldiers, German POW's and BLACK Americans who were segregated in the back of the venue?) That my Grandfather had to escape the Fascists, came here, worked in a coal mine, was ordered to shave his mustache and refer to himself as Frenchie, because Italians were not wanted?
Don't talk to me about the War, sir. I have a lot of graves to visit that remind me of it every day. How dare you.

MC Says:
Okay anybody, I recall that most neutral studies done around the world had placed the percentage of population as actively homosexual at about 1%. What part of the math is bad? - MC
Voice Replies:
It is not a quantifiable amount. There are too many Bashers, too few rights, too much stigma for anyone to be open about this. additionally, My former partner was married to a man, to this day she defines herself as a Het...We even have a little saying because this behavior is so prevelant: "I'm not a Lesbian, My Girlfriend is"
Does MC stand for Mathematically challanged?
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To those who understand, No explanation is necessary. To those who do not, no explanation is possible.~~Variously attributed, but I have it as Ayn Rand.

BTW, Lawrence, As it's D-Day, (I am sure some one of your elevated intelligence would know that)when I call my Uncle to thank him for what he did, I'll tell him about your ignorant little note. In 1999, he still has to go by an Americanized version of his given name because it seems that where he lives, (south of the Mason/Dixon line) they don't like Eye-Talians. His second wife, (the first haing died several years ago)also calls him by the bastardized version of his real name. A WWII HERO! Shove your your White-Male-working class obsession/pity party into your empty head. And kiss a Gay Male Veteran for me.

Hey, Vixen...
A few more ideas: The Aqua Velva/Brut/English Leather float for the guys??? Gosh, I wish I could go! The Striped shirt/checked pants (preferably in non-complementary colors & made of synthetics!)
The Old Hetero Man float...driving a spotless 10 year old car, 15 mph, laeft blinker on hunched over the steering wheel as he yells at his wife, "Don't tell me how to drive! I've been driving since 1930!"

Pathunt says: I'm not even going to justify this thread with a post.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<
Voice responds: Well then I am not going to dignify your post with a response!
The Voice
*********************************************
Who says Lesbian's have no sense of humor?


The Voice
Member posted 06-06-99 09:10 AM
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Pathunt says: Whoops.
Voice ays: Me, too.

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Oh yeah? Well I'M not going to... to....

Oh, damn.


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"The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life." -George Carlin

Having very carefully read this question and contemplated my life, I have come to the conclusion:

Oh my God, I'm Gay!

(This post brought to you in the same spirit as the original OP!)

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Mastery is not perfection but a journey, and the true master must be willing to try and fail and try again

Voice: Why are you sorry my husband married me? I'm not so bad.It was difficult; not because of his orientation, but other horrible habits. I did not think he or any of his comrads were weird or unusual because they were gay. I do know about discrimination tho, my husband (and because I was his wife) were discriminated against for health reasons. Actually, Straight Day Parade sounds funny, mainly because there are "funny" depictions of straight men, we've all known. Amen and goodnight.!

It's strange how much this whole thread parallels to my sig... In case you don't know, it's rap.


Just one thing... Voice- do you stand by these beliefs like a racist would by his? I know there are people who don't like gay people all over the place, but are you sure there are lots of them here?

Hey, I'm Chinese, and I grew up with some unforgiving people in school. I didn't end up hating everybody who wasn't Chinese, just the people who hated Chinese people. Now, I'm in Stuyvesant High, where Asians make up a pretty big percentage of the students. It kinda helps to stick with your own group, so you've got backup in case someone wants to mess with you.


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I'm ready to meet Him
'Cause where I'm livin' ain't right
Black hate white
White hate black
It's right back to the same fight...

--DMX

I have plenty of graves to visit and several family war horror stories that I have heard myself, Voice. So come off this "How dare you" crap. My point is that you are living happily and free in a country in which you can do whatever you want. If all you have to put up with is occasional ignorant dissing by a few people on the Message Boards (and since you spend so much time posting here, you must not have any significant battles to fight elsewhere) you have it pretty good in comparison to gay people in, say, Cuba. Or any other people in, say, Cuba, for that matter. My other point is that those working class white men in the US Army undoubtedly saved the lives of many people in those concentration camps wearing those pink triangles. Not to mention the comfortable present-day life that all of us have. Trust me, if it hadn't been for those guys, life on Castro St. would undoubtedly be quite different now.

Repeating what I said before, The Voice has no problem making fun of working-class white men because she hates them. She would never treat people who it's not politically correct to make fun of in the same way.

"Trust me, if it hadn't been for those guys, life on Castro St. would undoubtedly be quite different now."
---Lawrence
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Trust me, Lawrence, many of the "those guys" you speak so eloquently for are right now enjoying "The Life" on Castro street.

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Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source???

MC Says:
Okay anybody, I recall that most neutral studies done around the world had placed the percentage of population as actively homosexual at about 1%. What part of the math is bad? - MC
Voice Replies:
It is not a quantifiable amount. There are too many Bashers, too few rights, too much stigma for anyone to be open about this. additionally, My former partner was married to a man, to this day she defines herself as a Het...We even have a little saying because this behavior is so prevelant: "I'm not a Lesbian, My Girlfriend is"
Does MC stand for Mathematically challanged? - The Voice

- - - Flimsy reasoning, Voice. I could also say that ten percent of the population is extraterrestrial aliens, because a few claim to be and the rest are too afraid to admit it. You couldn't prove me wrong but it would still be a bullshit claim. I don't doubt that lots of people you know are gay. I'd bet that Richard Speck knew lots of murderers, too. Around where I live, there are a few "gay" bars and hundreds of "straight" bars so that's what I tend to base my assumptions on.
I don't doubt that lots of "straight" people have committed homosexual acts and/or have homosexual urges, but there's no standard for "living the gay lifestyle" and when asked very few people will admit to doing so. Saying to yourselves "We are gay, and there must be many others like us" is merely wishful thinkng. You even say "it is not a quantifiable amount" so the percentage could be much less than 1%. - MC

Work like you don't need the money.....
Love like you've never been hurt.....
Dance like nobody's watching! Source??? - mangeorge

- - - Somebody used this as her sig line; she said it was from a Celtic something-or-other, but I asked about it and somebody else said there's a country song that's real close to it also. - MC

You know... reading a great number of the responses to this post, I can't help but sigh. Satire, folks.

It was clearly obvious upon initial reading that the original post was intended satirically, and I can't imagine how it was taken in any other vein.

Unless... well, you know how it's okay for Richard Pryor to make fun of blacks, but God forbid a white comedian do it. Are some people uptight because a homosexual made the original post, perhaps? Hmm...

~jon
Who's perfectly capable of laughing at himself, thanks

Voice: Why are you sorry my husband married me? I'm not so bad. It was difficult; not because of his orientation, but other horrible habits. I did not think he or any of his comrads were weird or unusual because they were gay.<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

OH, GOD Van, that's not what I meant at all. I meant that I thought it was unfair of him to marry you (unless you knew he was Gay)...not that it was your fault. I understand why some Gay people feel compelled to marry...I came close, once. But I knew that I couldn't deceive him like that, he was far too nice. Sometimes, Gays do marry straights, but it's agreed upon deal for various reasons. And that's not to say that Gay people aren't wierd...It's simply this: If a person is Gay, many, perhaps most. Heteros will think everything they say, do, wwear, eat emanates from that. A like comparison would be if you were judged by the color of your nail polish, ONLY. e.g."Van donated bone Marrow and saved a little girls life! Still, she does have that frosted hair...I wonder iwhat her adenda is?" I didn't mean to insult you
Love, Peace
La Voce

Lawrence said: "There are a few groups that it is still acceptable to make fun of in the US today. The most common example, of course, is working-class white men (AKA rednecks, greasers, white trash, trailer trash). Of course, you'll find as many decent, friendly, intelligent working-class white men as you'll find among any other group of people. But it's OK to make fun of them as a group."

first of all, The Voice was using satire, for crying out loud. Second of all, before you start in with the "reverse racism/sexism" bit, go back up and read the post. The Voice used both male and female figures in her parody.


Lawrence said: "Of course, their ancestors were the guys at Guadalcanal and Normandy. Not that that matters or anything."

What the heck does that have to do with anything? The ancestors of white males aren't the only ones who fought in these and other wars. I don't quite understand what your point was.

[[Heterosexual's should stop complaining about ugly Lesbian's unless they stop breeding them!-- Rita Mae Brown]]

I am quite certain that Ms Rita didn't misuse apostrophes like that, however!

Voice, I'm pretty sure I'm not gay, but now I don't wanna be hetero, either. What am I supposed to do with THIS confused orientation?

JillGat, you could be omni-sexual. With the right amount of alcohol, EVERYONE'S cute!

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"When the going gets weird, the weird turn pro."
Hunter Thompson

Also, why are they so... well, unattractive?

, usually fat.
It's those fries that come with all dinners. And the fact the average American never walks any farther than from thr parking lot to the mall, theater etc. Plus, you probably wouldn't know this, once you have kids, your time for exercise is limited. The kids get older, then the parents have given up on exercise. They think they deserve the rest.

Did anyone notice that 'Het' is the same as using the N word, but for straight people instead?

gotta love those sweeping overgeneralizations

I think y'all just done missed the point on what I said. I understood very clearly that the Voice was speaking parodically. You'd have to be an idiot to have missed that, which I am not. I think. My point was that she was making fun of working-class white guys (NOT middle-class white guys) and that this was, first, classist, and second, something she would not have dared to do if the target were any other group. You go back to her original post and substitute "nigger" or "kike" or "spick" or "fag" for "het" or any other words she used to describe us trashy white folks. She would not have dared to write anything as obviously hateful as the parody she posted about any of those people, because she would have been kicked off this Board, and rightfully so. Hate speech is wrong, whether directed at some folks...or at others.

Before anyone gets mad at me for having used ethnic and homophobic slurs in my last post, let me make it clear that they were used as examples. I don't like those words any more than you do, and I get a feeling that heterophobic slurs have recently been invented.

So it was written "parodically" or what was that word? But it all seemed so real...

Or, getting Pregnant...and aborting the child because it is inconvenient? Then there is their tendancy toward 'Country' decor...you know that blue/gray color, lot's of oak or (shudder) oak veneer, geese doodads, samplers that say, "Back Door Friends are Best"...and those hideous magazines!

It was like reading Tales of the City, but all backward..

Can't believe that some people missed the satire in the original post. A very well done, shoe-on-the-other-foot kind of thing. Should have been obvious to everyone.

I have only one slight objection to it, and it's more of an observation, really. The Voice was doing a take-off on how certain visible characteristics of some members of a group become stereotypes that are attributed (erroneously) to all members of a group. Point well taken. However, in the case of predominantly gay communities (say in West Hollywood, for example)at least some of the so-called stereotypes are intentionally encouraged by the members of the group as a way of defining themselves as part of a sub-culture.

In other words, I don't think many heterosexual intentionally get "big beer bel-lies" in order to define themselves as heterosexuals, but at least some homosexuals adopt the mannerisms, style, lingo or whatever in order to proclaim who and what they are.

Well I hope the Voice doesn't get mad at me here......I'm straight and I have many gay friends male and female. Not to try and be cool but because they are people just like everyone else and they are nice people. Hey, my mother is gay and so is her girlfriend. You know who you should be yelling at, G Gordon Liddy. He was ranting about how gay people shouldn't be allowed to be married. He said "lesbo's and homo's, two women or two men, that's not a marriage"...well that pissed me off. People like him will never change so we just have to make sure we don't raise anymore of them and they will die out....we can hope....

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