Are scalar hearing devices for real?

As a consequence of surviving the flu, and resulting ear infection this past December, Mrs. Montoya (heh heh) lost the ability to hear out of her right ear. Her doc explained it was a temporary thing and that it would get better in a few weeks. My wife’s field of expertise being art history & religion, she deferred her own opinions to those of a MD. Well, 3 months later she still can’t hear with that ear, so she goes to an ENT (no, not a large walking/talking tree) who says, “Well, the reason you can’t hear outta that there ear is because you have irreversible nerve damage…” Oh tragedy. But So goes life, right? We both blame George Bush for this, but that’s another story.

So, fostering a healthy dose of denial, I jump on the internet and quickly discover this gizmo. After reading through the article and trying to translate it into terms I can understand I run accross this phrase:

And the thing lost all credibility for me. Then I got to wondering, "Hey, if this thing can get around the auditory nerve, why do I still have to watch Miracle Ear ads on TV? Seems like this would be the Next Big Thing–deafness is cured, etc. Other links then give accounts of the Soviets using it as some kind of weapon, something to do with woodpeckers?

So before I confuse myself any more, lemme ask this: WTF? Does/Can this thing work? If so, why hasn’t it caught on?

Ah! they’re 1920s style deaf rays.

My GOD! You positively RULE!

Sorry! the voices made me do it.

The article looks very suspect to me; can’t decide whether it’s pure science fiction, pure bullshit or interesting real science dressed up with a little too much of the first two.

OH MY GOD! I came in here to make a 1920s-style death ray joke, but hadn’t thought of the “death rays” joke. Great work!

Anyhoo, on to the question.

Disclaimer: I know nothing about the specific product you’re talking about, and my both my physics and anatomy are a bit weak.

However… there’s no freakin’ way this thing could work. Nerve damage is nerve damage. If the ear no longer works at all, it doesn’t matter how much you amplify things. Now, if the nerve damage is incomplete, perhaps some sort of hearing aid would work… but any hearing age, not one espousing gobbledy gook.

Maybe I’m wrong, but “skin dielectric” in that sentence makes absolutely no sense, identifying this as complete technobabble bullshit.

I kneel and fellate you with great abandon.

Top ten. Ever.

C’mon, Mangetout! How much did you pay Montoya to post that set up!? :smiley:

In vain attempt to answer the OP, and put to rest all retarded threads using the word “scalar” I offer the following:

It’s bullshit. Okay?

We all know that scalar quanities are just that, and that vector quantities incorporate direction. We do know this, don’t we?

Some jackass cobbles up some crap, and tosses around terminology that he doesn’t understand, and you have to drag it in here?

Please don’t.

I’m sorry if this seems harsh, but I’ve spent my entire adult life working towards a better understanding of the universe, and this crap doesn’t help.

And for those of you who just too an opportunity to take a cheap sot at ant a new poster:

ItShutup.

Well yeah, but deaf rays is fucking brilliant.

Aw, go easy Exgineer, you can tell from the thread title that Senor Montoya has been around. And it sounds like a reasonable question given the device is “out there.”

If you google around you discover that the gizmo claims to bypass the auditory nerve completely. Feeds the brain by some other means…telepathy or whatever. I’m inclined to suggest something is happening, but all the New Age cheeze-whiz sucks any credibility away from it.

deaf rays…that rules.

My favorite line from the article:

Makes me wonder if they bothered to reset the chamber for Skywalker.

As an audiologist, I read this article a couple of times, and I must admit that the whole thing sounds like a lot of science-fiction wishful thinking. There’s enough technobabble in the article that would do justice to any Star Trek script.

First of all, let’s deal with a misnomer here. Audiologists don’t call it “nerve deafness”, since that suggest deafness related to the auditory nerve itself. The vast majority of deaf persons have perfectly fine auditory nerves; it is the cochlea itself that is dysfunctional. The standard name for deafness stemming from cochlear or auditory nerve dysfunction is “sensorineural hearing loss.”

Another quote from the article:

If a person has hearing loss due to actual auditory nerve dysfunction, then stimulation of that nerve isn’t going to do a hell of a lot. Those rare individuals who have lost the use of their auditory nerves are truly deaf: no hearing aid in the world will help them, and even cochlear implants would be useless, since cochlear implants require the presence of an intact auditory nerve to function. When I read that paragraph quoted above, it simply cemented my suspicion that the author has a very weak grasp of the principles of hearing.

Interestingly enough, there already is an implantable device that actually bypasses the auditory nerve entirely in an effort to bring sound to the person. It’s known as an auditory brainstem implant (ABI), and it is currently still in the experimental stages. The only patients being approved for the ABI trials are those suffering from neurofibromatosis, and have lost the function of both auditory nerves due to lesions. From what I’ve read, the sound quality that a person gets from an ABI is markedly more artificial than what they would get from a cochlear implant, which is in turn more artificial in sound quality than a hearing aid.

Bottom line: I regard the whole article with a tremendous degree of skepticism. There’s no actual information presented in support of the supposed efficacy of the invention. All I see are anecdotes and smoke and mirrors.

As a deaf person, I would love to see a true cure for deafness. I just don’t think this is it. Also, as a deaf person, I give mad props to Mangetout for his “deaf rays” post. Biggest laugh I’ve had all week.

Nice to see that Inigo Montoya’s reply was of a positive nature.

(My God you positively rule!)

I was afraid his reply might have been - I want my five bucks back right NOW buster !!!
It’s good to see that even though Montoya is relatively new to the Board, he is one of the cognoscenti regarding 1920’s technology.

Anyway, getting back to that “miracle” hearing aid, using the term carbonite really destroys all level of credibility. That (and similar-sounding words) are Sci-Fi favorites. (For example, the film The 4-D Man from the 1950’s contrived the word “cargonite”.)

And exgineer lighten up just a bit. Granted, the message board members are of a rather high intellectual caliber but we do like to have our fun too. Sorry, didn’t mean to preach.

Am I the only one who didn’t find either the “death ray” or “deaf rays” jokes funny?

ChaoticDonkey
I see you have about 500 posts to your name. Aren’t you familiar with the fact that 1920’s style Death Rays is a running joke on this board? It started when someone asked about scalar weapons and someone replied about - 1920’s style death rays. (I’ve tried to find the original thread but haven’t been successful).
Anyway we are not making fun of the topic. Hearing loss is not a joke. (I am a musisican - electric guitar - and I like the fact that I have excellent hearing).

Inigo said here that he’s a long-time lurker. Hardly a newb. He knew the scalar weapons thread; I’m down with that.

Deaf rays. Snicker.

I see you have about a month longer registration to your name. Aren’t you familiar with the fact that the post about scalar weapons happened well after I registered? (I didn’t try to find the original post but wasn’t successful).
Anyway I am not making fun of the topic. Stupid jokes are not funny. (I am a musisican - saxophone - and I like the fact that my hearing is decent, but my right ear is slightly worse.

chaoticdonkey, I’m truly sorry if you found the joke (if it can be called such) offensive in any way, but it isn’t a crack at people with hearing loss.

Heh, you’re not going to believe this, but the guy who created the flap about the HAARP project Nick Begich is friends with the guy who invented the neurophone, so yeah, I’d say it was BS.

However, I don’t have my copy handy, but the book The Body Electric by Robert O. Becker, does in fact describe a device which operates similar to how the neurophone is supposed to. Becker does not, however, use crazy terms like “scalar technology” and does cite and reference the various medical journals in which publications dealing with the device appear. Essentially, it has to do with microwave radiation, so I’m not sure that it’s something you’d want pointed at your brainstem 24/7. Admittedly some of the claims in Becker’s book are far fetched (not for this device, but some of his other accounts of his research), but I’ve seen lots of reports in mainstream media of researchers independantly conducting experiments which prove that Becker’s not a total liar. (Unless Duke University is somehow in on the conspiracy.)

And Mangetout, that was a positively brilliant line!

Oh, and I found the imfamous Death Ray Thread.