Is there any reason that semen would be bad for my fish?

[GodSka]

well?

[Mangetout]

Where are you going to get enough to fill the aquarium?

[ZebraShaSha]

Oh, dear GodSka , they do not mean it literally when they say it smells like fish!

Those poor, poor, creatures...

Seriously though, WTF are you asking?!

...

Also, does it feel good to get um up the bass?

Is there more pleasure involved if it is a small or large mouth?

Have you ever seen the parrot fishes pecker?

....

As for my one answer: any seaman is bad for the fish if it does not throw them back.

[GodSka]

Originally Posted by Mangetout

Where are you going to get enough to fill the aquarium?

Ha! No, not for them to swim in. I mean for eating. I have fed my guppies some of my sperm on several occasions, and they go absolutely nuts (no pun intended) over it. It's so funny to watch.

But after posting that fact on a message board that I frequent (yahooka.com), some replied that it may be harmful to the fish. I don't see any reason why it would. After all, in Mike Wickham's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Freshwater Aquariums", he says the the best fish food is variety.

[Revtim]

I'd be worried that one morning there's be a new fish in the tank with my face.

[Guinastasia]

I have fed my guppies some of my sperm on several occasions, and they go absolutely nuts (no pun intended) over it.

I just have to ask-for the love of god, WHY?

[Mangetout]

I'll be handing my eyes back tomorrow; no need for them anymore, not now I have seen everything.

I can't imagine any reason why it would harm them; it probably doesn't have all the necessary components to be a complete diet for them, but they're still alive, aren't they?

Does this count as bestiality?

[Eve]

Originally Posted by GodSka

After all, in Mike Wickham's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Freshwater Aquariums", he says the the best fish food is variety.

Although some goldfish are known to prefer The Hollywood Reporter.

[GodSka]

Originally Posted by Guinastasia

I just have to ask-for the love of god, WHY?

Isn't it obvious? I'm a deeply disturbed individual. Also, I'm poor and running low on fish food.

[Berkut]

Originally Posted by GodSka

I mean for eating. I have fed my guppies some of my sperm on several occasions, and they go absolutely nuts (no pun intended) over it.

Is your fish named snowball?

[kellner]

You just gave me the missing jigsaw piece for Troy McClure's biography.

Thanks. Ignore me.

[dnooman]

You're crankin' one out in the fish tank, and you're concerned about their diet? You need some couch time son. Leave the fishies alone, and get some help.

BTW I found no mention of human semen in any of the fish food ingredient lists I could find.

[Manduck]

I don't know about semen, but some fish have been known to eat seamen.

[Mangetout]

I suppose if you've got piranhas in the tank, you might want to stand back a little when you feed them.

[ZebraShaSha]

Oh, and since I am fond of animals, I think your firm stance on the issue at hand is making you behave like a complete dick.

(There wouldnt happen to be any mermaids in the tank would there? I may need to get a fishtank if so....)

[Happy Lendervedder]

So let me get this absolutely straight: You toss your wad into the fishtank? And by wad I mean semen. And the fish eat it?

Are you straddling the aquarium while you masturbate? Or do you ejaculate into a cup and dump it in afterward? Do they eat it all, or are there coagulated gobs of jism floating around your tank for days afterward?

The only reason I'm asking all this is so when I tell my friends about it, I'll have all the facts correct.

[panache45]

Originally Posted by GodSka

Is there any reason that semen would be bad for my fish?

Ok, let's see if I understand this: When you say "my fish," is this a euphemism for something/someone that perhaps doesn't spend his/her life under water?

I mean, my partner is often filled with semen "up to the gills," and it hasn't hurt him a bit.

Or is this your idea of "getting scrod"?

Sorry.

[Scruloose]

Oh man - I hope mangeorge doesn't have an aquarium.

[dantheman]

Originally Posted by GodSka

After all, in Mike Wickham's "The Complete Idiot's Guide to Freshwater Aquariums", he says the the best fish food is variety.

This does not mean you should feed them just anything you come by.

[Harmonix]

Um, well seminal fluid is slightly basic. That might change the water acidity a lil bit. Sperm itself also contains quite a bit of lysosomal proteins. So yea. I guess it could possibly be harmful to the fishes.

[Mr. Blue Sky]

Is it okay to wish death on myself?

[Polycarp]

This deserves a cartoon: GodSka lying asleep in bed in the background, and in the foreground a fishbowl with the fishes gathered in a circle, and a caption: "Ok, Gladys, here's the plan: First, we jump out of the bowl, and you get him hot...."

[Bosda Di'Chi of Tricor]

Brings a whole new meaning to the term "fishing rod".

[ZebraShaSha]

I can see two fishes watching tv when this comes on:

Here’s our Jingle for Coldjizz
Crunchy little Coldjizz
The wholesome snack that smiles back
until you bite their heads off!

See the fishes swimming..
Oh, look the mackrels winning.

GodSka was not sad that they are apart
Mangetout showed they’re baked and not fried

Did you know they’re made
with real spermies
Even though they look like wormies

The snack that smiles back... Coldjizz

[DocCathode]

Am I the only one worried that the guppies diet, combined with sunspot activity will cause them to mutate into massive creatures who threaten our very survival?

Or that GodSka will buy a parrot?

[Tentacle Monster]

You see, this is the reason I read this board. Keep us posted on any mutations.

[AskNott]

"Those are the prettiest angelfish I ever came across."

[Sisyphus' Stone]

Has this thread suggested a new euphemism for masturbation? Let's see; wanking, spanking the monkey, tossing, beating off, feeding the fish.

Mum: Knock, knock "Stone? What are you doing in there?"

Me: "Nothing."

Mum: "I hear you moving about. What are you doing?"

Me: "Oh, just feeding the fish."

[LolaBaby]

So...uh...I guess they swallow?

Make sure you drink lots of pineapple juice. Or you could get slapped with animal cruelty.

[astro]

Where do you think this guy came from?"

[DocCathode]

Astro There's no need to bring the Creature into this. His love was innocent and pure, the kind of crush a second grader has on a pretty teacher.

I'm also shocked that no one has provided a link to the relevant South Park episode.

"Seamonkeys+seamen=seaciety."

[Etherman]

You know "sleeping with the fishes" is a euphemism right?

There's a Moby Dick joke here, I am just to tired to find it.

[dnooman]

Go somewhere else. I have little tolerance for your stupid shit here. I hate to use such language in GQ, but I have little tolerance for someone that openly mocks our system of illumination. Be gone.

[zut]

Originally Posted by Mangetout

I suppose if you've got piranhas in the tank, you might want to stand back a little when you feed them.

Or candiru. Definitely stand back if you raise candiru.

[ZebraShaSha]

Semen itself has high concentrations of potassium, zinc, citric acid, fructose, phosphorylcholine, spermine, free amino acids, prostaglandins and enzymes, which nourish and protect the sperm...

Does any of that harm fishes?

[cybersnark]

I hope your aquarium can handle LARGE fish - where do you think sperm whales come from, anyway?

[dantheman]

Originally Posted by dnooman

Go somewhere else. I have little tolerance for your stupid shit here. I hate to use such language in GQ, but I have little tolerance for someone that openly mocks our system of illumination. Be gone.

[ZombiesAteMyBrain]

Originally Posted by Mangetout

I suppose if you've got piranhas in the tank, you might want to stand back a little when you feed them.

This was the first thing I thought of when I read this thread - talk about living dangerously!!!

What do you do when you go on holiday - do you leave a supply of readimeals for them in the freezer???

[tiny ham]

Originally Posted by dnooman

Go somewhere else. I have little tolerance for your stupid shit here. I hate to use such language in GQ, but I have little tolerance for someone that openly mocks our system of illumination. Be gone.

I got a Target flier this week in the Sunday paper. Apparently Senses of Humor are on sale for $5.99

[plnnr]

According to people who would know such things, Peter North's aquarium full of guppies died from one overfeeding. It really was quite sad.

[Skelji]

Do you have some kind of fish fetish? Do you stand on a chair next to your fish tank and whack off to pictures of The Little Mermaid?

Guppy #4, peering through the glass: "Hey everyone, here comes Meals On Heels!"




I've heard of fishing with live bait, but this is ridiculous.



Just how often do you have to change your filter?



Maybe you should trade the guppies in for a blowfish.

[Max Carnage]

Am I the only one who thought the OP may have been talking about cooking fish with semen?

I definitely will be looking at the little crispies I get at Long John Silver's a little differently now.

[GodSka]

Originally Posted by Happy Lendervedder

So let me get this absolutely straight: You toss your wad into the fishtank? And by wad I mean semen. And the fish eat it?

Yeah, that's right.

Are you straddling the aquarium while you masturbate? Or do you ejaculate into a cup and dump it in afterward?

No, my aquarium is too high for me to try straddling it. I'm usually on my bed. I cup my hand and catch some of the jizz. Then I walk over and put it in the tank.

Do they eat it all, or are there coagulated gobs of jism floating around your tank for days afterward?

It's all gone within 15 minutes.

The only reason I'm asking all this is so when I tell my friends about it, I'll have all the facts correct.

I bet you're really wanting to try it yourself, aren't ya?

[Exgineer]

I knew better than to open this, I really did. Now I need my brain scrubbed.

I just can't help it, though, I'm curious. What on earth made you think of doing this? Whether or not it's harmful to the fish (and I'm thinking "better safe than sorry") I can't imagine any set of circumstances which would lead me to the thought of rubbing one out into the fish tank.

[Surreal]

Good question, GodSka!

I've never personally owned an aquarium, but I've visited several people who have them in their homes and have, on occasion, spat into their tanks when they weren't looking and watched in amazement as the fish devoured the phlegm.

Witnessing this, I became immediately curious as to what they would do if I ejaculated into the tank, but I never got the opportunity to do so. I'm glad to confirm that my suspicions were true.

[UrbanChic]

Thank you, Surreal. This thread was nigh on perfection until you came along. It is now, if I may be so bold, morphed into something above and beyond perfection, uber-perfection, perhaps.

If the Boards wither up, die and are swept away by the winds of Internet like so many brittle, autumnal leaves because of the new registration policy, this thread alone more than makes up for my five dollars.

[Jackknifed Juggernaut]

Well, in the spirit of this thread, I have to admit to something. I actually had forgotten about this event until I read this thread. When I was about 19-20, I was at my girlfriend's house waiting for her to get ready to go out. I was watching TV and I felt a snot lodged in my nostril. It was the type of booger that I could just tell would fly right out with the slightest nasal exhale, assuming that the other nostril was covered. The bathroom was being used at the time. I didn't have any tissues with me. So I slowly I lifted the light covering the tank since I wasn't confident about my aiming abilities.....I won't fill in the obvious, but those fishies attacked that thing like vultures. I couldn't tell whether they consumed the whole thing, but it was quite a sight.

[Eve]

All this rather makes me wish for a remake of Mr. Peabody and the Mermaid, or Splash . . .

[lieu]

Gee, next week why don't you see if they'll take it up the ass.

[john31584]

well, tropical reef fish eat the leftover sperm and eggs after coral spawning. I'm sure the chemical composition of coral polyp sperm differs widely from that of humans, but I guess that sets some sort of precedent. I guess.